Leaning Slightly to the Left
by The Steppy One
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or is she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
1. Familiarity

::blows dust off account:: ::waves::

See, I have been writing quite a lot, I just haven't been able to post anything recently. In my short one-shot 'One' from One Tree Hill I said I had a bunny regarding a plot line from the show and turning it into a Ron Hermione fic. This is what this be. So I'm saying right off I don't own the plot. I've tweaked it, obviously, adding chunks and the suchlike, but I'm not taking credit for the story.

It's a hefty one, already over 25,000 words(!) and I'll update as regularly as possible. This is my main writing focus and because it was a gift for a charity auction, will be completed. Hopefully soonish!

I will love you forever if you take the time to review and let me know what you think.

Thank you kindly

Step ;) xxx

**Leaning Slightly to the Left**

_**Familiarity**_

If she had to be honest with herself, this wasn't how she expected her life to turn out. She knew on one level, it was ridiculous to have pre-conceived notions about how she _should_ be living her life, but she couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.

She was successful in her career. When she left school she was given an opportunity that she was thrilled to take and although it had been a little overwhelming and she'd had to grow up a little before starting work, she was good at it and she was focused in what she was doing. That was the only problem with responsibility, growing up had to go with it hand in hand.

As she stared out of the window of her flat, she knew she should feel _better_ than she did. Despite her success and the enjoyment of her work, she needed something… different.

She had to smile to herself. She wanted something new but familiar, exciting but comforting and most of all, she wanted something familiar and comforting to become new and exciting.

She had tried to fill the hole in her life with… _stuff_, meaningless things to take her mind off the niggle in her brain that wanted more. She had learnt a third language, started writing something of a book that could accompany her research should she ever be able to publish what she had been researching, and for a few weeks she had taken dance lessons, but had lost her enthusiasm with that when she realised she only wanted to dance with one person who was nowhere near her when she danced.

The days of dancing with her first love were long gone.

Without her realising a tear fell down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away and focussed on the lights of the town stretching out from the building her flat was in. She was on the top floor (something she had wanted for a while) and as much as she loved the fact this was _her_ flat that she had bought with her own hard earned money and had furnished it exactly how she wanted, she couldn't help but not want to be there.

Before her nerve left her, she stood from the window seat and picked up her phone. She dialled a well thumbed number and waited for it to ring.

The familiar voice greeted her with the usual 'hello', and, while normally she would laugh and ask why, when her phone always told her who was calling, her 'hello' was a question more than an answer, she asked the question burning through her mind before she could lose her nerve.

'When did life take this random left turn which has left me not knowing what I want anymore?'

'Do you want a specific time and date or just a rough idea?'

She shrugged even though it wasn't seen.

'Whichever you have.'

'I have neither because there wasn't one specific thing, just a lot of little things that leaned slightly to the left, and now you find yourself going somewhere different than you imagined.'

'Does that mean it's wrong?' Another tear fell down her cheek but her voice held strong.

'No. Different isn't wrong, it can just be confusing sometimes.'

'Mmm.'

'Dare I ask what's brought this on? I mean I know you've been unhappy for a while even though you've refused to admit it for, oh, the past six months or so, but I wasn't expecting for you to ever say anything without me having to beat you around the head to get it out of you.'

'Am I that obvious?'

'To me, yes, to everyone else, no.'

'Maybe I just got sick of pretending. Maybe my assistant was an obnoxious bitch today for no reason. Maybe living in France isn't as wonderful as I thought it would be-.'

'Maybe you just want to go home.'

Another tear escaped her eye.

'Maybe I just want to go home.'

'There's nothing stopping you. You can leave tonight if you want. The job you have means you can move around, your flat can be bought by the Ministry, and you can find somewhere at home as soon as, well, anything! You have friends who will help you willingly. Hell, you have people at work who can technically help you unwillingly!'

'You make it sound so easy.'

'When you want something so badly even the most challenging thing is easy.'

'I suppose.'

'Look, sleep on it, don't do anything rash, and phone me in the morning, yeah? If I'm honest, I've been having similar thoughts myself. Touring is fun and all but maybe it's time I grew up.'

'Ginny Weasley, growing up? Nah that can't be right!'

'Shut it, you. I'll rescind my not yet made offer to help you move should you wish.'

'I'd better shut up then.'

She managed a half smile and walked towards her window.

'It'll be okay, you know. You'll work things out. It's like, the law or something. You can't not know what to do for too long, the universe'll implode.'

She laughed and her heart lightened a little.

'I doubt the fate of the universe is dependent solely on my problem solving skills, but thank you for your encouragement and faith.'

'Anytime. Now are you okay or can I get back to failing to fall asleep for my ridiculously early training session in the morning.'

'Wait, so I didn't wake you?'

'I wish! No such luck. I've been doing this for four years and I still can't sleep when I need to.'

'Well, I can happily recite legislation to you if you think that'll help.'

'Um, thanks but no thanks, that will just make me want to kill you rather than make me fall asleep.'

She laughed and heard Ginny do the same.

'Well, I'll leave you to your elusive sleep. I'll phone you in the morning. When do you finish?'

'Eleven, we start at six.'

'Okay, I'll speak to you then.'

'Cool, sleep well.'

'I will, and thanks, Gin.'

'You're welcome. Night.'

'Night.'

She walked to the coffee table and placed the phone back in its stand. She stared out the window for a few more seconds and then turned to the longest wall in her flat. Her bookshelves spanned the length and height of the wall and her books were sorted by subject and then alphabetically, although she had yet to find someone who could understand her logical thought pattern when it came to the way her subjects were organised.

She walked to the right hand side of the vast shelves and raised her arm to the shelf just below her eye level. She looked at the seven versions of the same book she had, two were in French but the other five in English. She pulled the most battered English copy off the shelf and smiled when she read the front cover.

_**Right Hand Man**_

_**by Ronald Bilius Weasley**_

She let the book fall open and her smile widened when the book opened at the page she head read maybe a hundred times. She read the words once more.

_It was the weirdest thing in the world. We'd done something that no one had thought possible, including ourselves. Everything we had feared for three years was over and gone and as much as that was the most brilliant feeling in the world, there was death and destruction and hurt and pain to fill the hole that was left. I wanted it to be just relief and happiness but that was impossible._

_Having said that, I think my brain was shutting all that out because I was numb to all the pain. It came later, of course it did, but maybe something or someone was just giving me one day where I could think about what now could be. We had a _future_ and that was pretty scary. Not because I didn't know what I wanted but because I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted the girl next to me to be there for everything I had to do. I wanted her to be the person I went to for everything I ever needed to talk about. I wanted her to kiss me like she had when I'd mentioned saving House Elves and I wanted to tell her I loved her._

_I got scared when it all hit me, but when she looked at me and instantly knew something was up, I smiled and kissed her. I took her by surprise but I knew she was smiling. I knew that my life was about to start and as much as I knew there would be pain and suffering and uncertainty, I didn't care, because my best friend, Harry would be on my left and Hermione, the girl I loved, would be on my right._

She closed the book and put it back on the shelf. She walked through to the bedroom and quickly got changed into her nightclothes. She slipped into bed and stared at the ceiling. She tried to kid herself that she was thinking through the decision of whether or not she should and could move home, but she knew the decision had already been made. If she was honest, it had been made before she rang Ginny, but she needed someone to tell her she wasn't crazy or being irresponsible by wanting to go back and try and recapture some of the happiness she had once felt.

She shut her eyes and rolled on to her side. She let her mind wander back to the night before she left for France and she smiled. She told herself that she shouldn't get her hopes up, that things couldn't be the same as they were when she left. Too much had happened, too many words said, far too many unsaid. But for a few minutes before she drifted off to sleep she was happy.

It was something she hadn't felt in a long time.


	2. Revelations

Thank you to those who reviewed the prologue, very much appreciated. :)

As the title suggests, it's time to learn some stuff! Enjoy!

Step ;)

**Revelations**

After everything had been sorted, it dawned on her that things should have been harder to organise. Her boss should have objected a little more that she wanted to transfer back to England. The Ministry should have had to have been persuaded to buy her flat back at such short notice, and it should have taken a while for the Ministry to find a place for her back in the Department of Magical Law. But it didn't. Everything went smoothly, quickly and easily and it was only in the evening as she packed up her things that the worry that went with things going _too_ smoothly set in.

She knew she shouldn't be bothered that things went to plan, but with her history, she could hardly be thought ill of for being a little pessimistic.

The phone call with Ginny had been short and sweet. Ginny knew she was going back home, she had opened the conversation with '_So when do you leave?_' to which the reply was, '_as soon as I can get things sorted,_'. The rest of the conversation had comprised of logistics, times and offers of temporary accommodation. Hermione was grateful, she had of course, worried a little about where she was going to stay but knew she could sleep at The Leaky Cauldron until she had something sorted.

That contingency plan wasn't needed because Ginny had offered her spare room to Hermione and she had accepted. She felt a little guilty. She knew Ginny was giving up her free time and her one 'game off' a season to help her, but that's what she needed: help.

She rarely admitted she needed help, but this was one time she could hardly deny it. Moving to Paris had been simple and easy. No one there knew her. They knew of her, of course they did, and they thought they knew more about her thanks to _Right Hand Man_ being published, but they didn't hassle her, didn't know everything and left her to build her new life in a foreign city. She had a few friends from work, ones that took her out occasionally and tried to get her out more frequently than she wanted, but she had to admit they were easy to leave behind.

As much as going back home held more trouble than she knew she could fathom at the minute, she didn't care. Nothing compared to home. As much as she'd been trying to kid herself for the past four years that it wasn't the case, she knew she had been lying to herself for every single one of those days. So that's why she needed her best friend to help her get herself sorted and strong before the barrage of emotion, hurt, confusion and any other bad thing she had left behind could hit her.

Had she run away when things got tough? Of course she had. She had come out with miles and miles of words that explained the different reasons why she should move to France and carry on her career there, but really it came down to the fact that she just needed to get away from it all.

So many times throughout the last four years she had tried to work out why things couldn't work out the way she wanted them to, _the way they were supposed to_, but she never found an answer and more often than not just got upset over the not knowing and frustration in herself and... him.

As she packed her final few things in her small suitcase and made sure she had all the official documents she needed to hand in to the French Ministry before she left (the documents agreeing the sale of her flat to the British Ministry, instructions to pay any outstanding bills from her vault at Gringott's, and her official letter of resignation from her post at the French Ministry) she had an overwhelming feeling of calm. She couldn't help be a little anxious about the next few hours and everything she had to get sorted but she knew she was doing the right thing. She had learned to trust her gut instinct over the years and she was happy that this was the right decision.

With one last look around her now empty flat – her removals portkey had left thirty minutes previously – she once more checked that she had everything she needed to hand and walked to the front door. She put her key on the tiny shelf next to the front door that had given her more than the occasional bruise throughout her time there and made sure the door would lock when she closed it.

She looked through the flat and caught one last look at the window seat where she had sat for hours thinking about everything and nothing, and where she knew she had made the decision to change the way her life was going.

Time to lean to the right.

...oooOOOooo...

She quickly emptied her suitcase in Ginny's spare room and she hauled the three boxes worth of stuff she needed immediately into her room and the lounge.

'I've dotted a few of your things around the lounge, added your weird tea and fancy bottle opener to the kitchen, but I've left the rest of your stuff, namely this massive box here which I can only imagine houses your books, to you. I'd never even dare try and organise your books. More than my life's worth.'

She smiled. 'This is about a tenth of them, I wouldn't make you have the whole lot in your flat. That would be ridiculous.'

Ginny smiled. 'Honestly I wouldn't mind. Sometimes I feel like I should make more of an effort with this place but considering I spend most of the week in Wales and most of the weekend when I'm not playing with Harry, there doesn't seem a great deal of point.' She shrugged.

Hermione gave a half smile. 'I like it here, I know it sounds weird but I feel more at home here than I did in my flat. I loved it, but maybe I just loved the idea of what it represented more than what it was.'

Ginny walked over to her and hugged her. Hermione clung tightly to Ginny, knowing this was one of the reasons why she needed to come home. Having her best friend on the end of the phone was one thing, but being able to be comforted by her like this was something she had missed.

'I want you to treat this place like it's your own, okay? Like I said, I'm hardly here when I'm training so consider this your flat as much as mine.'

Hermione nodded. 'Thanks, Gin, that means... a lot.'

Ginny nodded and Hermione noticed she looked a little uncomfortable.

'Look, Gin, I'm sorry if I've put you in an awkward position, I never meant for you to feel-.'

'Stop that, Hermione. I mean it. I do not feel awkward about you living here and I do not feel awkward about helping you settle in. I accept that there may be the odd awkward situation in the future but there's not a great deal I can do about that and I'd rather have you here than across the Channel. I just... I need to talk to you about something, but I have to go and see how the girls are getting on. It should be an easy win for them but there have been a couple of issues in training so I'm a little nervous.'

'I'm sorry you're here and not at the game, Gin.'

'I'm not. We've got some well juicy games coming up and I'd rather sit this one out then any of them, besides, Jayne needs the experience and she'll get a good game.'

Hermione nodded. 'Okay, well I think I'll get these sorted.' She tapped the box of books with her wand and the lid fell to the floor. Her eyes settled on the book on the top and a surge of need hit her stomach. There was of course more than one reason why she had decided to come back home but there was one main reason and she couldn't wait to see him.

Ginny reached down and picked up the most battered copy of _Right Hand Man_ and smiled.

'When was the last time you bought a copy?'

Hermione thought for a second. 'Um, a few months ago, I think. I was walking past the local school as I was going home from town and there was a jumble sale of sorts. It was sitting there and it was selling for practically nothing so I bought it. Second French version I have.'

'I still find it hard to believe my brother actually wrote this, never mind the fact that someone published it in the country and then around the world. Of all the things I imagined Ron doing, this didn't even cross my mind. Anyway, I'll leave you unpacking. Do you want to meet in the The Leaky for dinner? We can talk then.'

Hermione nodded. 'Yeah, sounds perfect, my treat, though, as a thank you, although dinner doesn't quite cover the thank you I owe you.'

'Shush! I'll let you pay for dinner if you stop with the thank you, crap. You'd do the same for me. Six okay?'

'Perfect. See you there.'

Hermione started unloading the books onto the small set of bookshelves that Ginny had cleared in the spare room. It was ridiculous that just having her books in her room made her feel at home and comforted but it was how she felt, how she would always feel.

She finished organising her books and checked how much time she had before she said she would meet Ginny. She had a couple of hours and wanted to go somewhere first so she showered, dressed and even made herself up a little. It had been a long time since she had taken this much time over her appearance but decided it was some sort of an occasion so she should make some sort of an effort.

...oooOOOooo...

She was in no way hiding. She just didn't really want to be seen. She was calm and peaceful, and felt a sense that anything was possible and that things were going to be okay. She knew she was being optimistic and possibly naive but she found it hard to care. She had spent a year of her life coming up here to think, to talk to herself and to talk to Ron...

She knew she had only been home hours but she was dying to see him. Something had gone wrong along the way and she was determined to fix it.

Because she needed him. There was no two ways about it. The main reason why she had come home was because of him. She just wasn't quite ready to admit it, yet. She was sitting in 'her spot' in front of the large rock on the small hill that overlooked the village and the sun was starting to set. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air. She couldn't believe how calm she felt.

'Beautiful, isn't it?'

She jumped and her heart raced and she opened her eyes and drank the sight of him in.

'Sorry,' he said with a smirk that made her heart leap into her mouth and then fall into her shoes. She rose to her feet and brushed off her trousers.

'Um, it's okay, I was just...'

She could feel herself going red and she begged herself to calm down. Her body refused to do as she asked.

'Taking it all in?' Ron replied for her.

'Yeah,' she replied, looking out over the town. 'It still manages to calm me down even after all this time...'

'All this time.'

She made herself look at him, take in the way his hands were buried in his jeans pockets, the way his shoulders were shrugged trying to fight off the cold breeze, the way his hair was as messy as the last time she saw it and he looked... comfortable in himself. This made her heart soar more than anything.

'It's been a while, I suppose,' she said quietly, walking slowly towards him.

'Two years is a bit longer than a while, Hermione.'

She could detect the smallest hint of anger in his voice, but she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or the situation.

'So, you're back now?' he asked quietly, lifting his head to look at her.

She nodded and looked at him once more. She yearned to hold him, to have her fingers in his hair and feel his in hers. She wanted him to tell her that it would all be okay and she started towards him again.

'I missed you so much, Ron.'

She held her arms out to him and expected him to walk into them but he held up his hands and backed away. Her arms dropped along with the smile on her face.

'I have someone,' he said in somewhat of a rush.

The words hit her as if they were physical blows to her body.

'I'm... I'm with someone...' he said, quieter this time, almost apologetically.

She felt tears burn her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

'Oh... I mean, that's... that's... good for you, Ron.'

He nodded but the action wasn't certain.

She tried to think of something to say to break the silence that was suffocating her.

'I, er... I need to go. Ginny's expecting me.' She chanced a look at Ron and he nodded his head. 'I'll see you... see you around, Ron.'

'Yeah,' he murmured.

She wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm against the strengthening breeze.

'Will you be okay getting down?'

She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand and a simple 'I'll be fine'.

'Yeah,' she muttered to herself. 'I'll be fine.'

...oooOOOooo...

'Merlin above that was close! Too close if truth be told. We should have walked that match but we only managed to win by 140 points.'

Hermione had jumped when Ginny had sat down heavily opposite her in the booth.

'_Only_ 140 points?' Hermione asked, a small smile working its way onto her face. Ginny raised her eyebrows. 'My point is, we were behind before the snitch was caught. That shouldn't have happened. We should have been ahead by at least seventy points but we were trailing! I'm just grateful Megan was on top form and got the Snitch before it could get any worse.'

'Was Jayne okay?'

'She was… okay.'

'But…'

'But… it's like she just didn't grasp the opportunity! This was her first start for the Harpies and… to be honest, she played better when she had to come on as a substitute last week for what ended up being the last five minutes because Leah had been knocked unconscious!'

'Wait, you're allowed substitutes in Quidditch? Since when?'

Ginny waved away her question and took a pull of the pint of beer that was sat in front of her.

'Friendly match, you can bend the rules a little, give inexperienced players a run out.'

'Ah, okay. So she played better as a substitute when she should have relished the chance to start in the first team.'

'Exactly! Who wouldn't?'

'Maybe someone who was very scared about replacing the brilliant Ginevra Weasley and who knew her every move would be scrutinised. You're a hard act to follow, Gin. Last week I'm guessing Gwenog was just glad to have someone else out there to make up the full team – you can't sit there and deny the fact that 'friendlies' are anything but – so she could get another win under her belt. Maybe Jayne just did what she had to and wasn't pressured because she was better than having no one out there.'

Ginny stared at her, thoughtfully.

'Hmm, maybe. Anyway, enough talk about Quidditch. Did they have the Steak on?'

Hermione nodded. 'I ordered you the Steak medium-rare and I am having the chicken.'

'Cool.'

'So,' Hermione started while staring resolutely into her large glass of white wine. 'Is the thing you wanted to talk about the fact that Ron is seeing someone?'

Ginny's face twisted as if she had been physically hurt.

'Shit. Sorry, Hermione, I wanted to tell you so I could... I dunno, soften the blow, maybe? I don't mean to be patronising, it's just I thought I'd be the best person to do it. Apparently someone beat me to it.'

'Yes, Ron did.'

Ginny nearly choked on her beer.

'Oh shit. What happened?'

'You know the hill just outside the village?'

'The one with the rock where you spent most of our seventh year? Yeah, I know it.' Ginny smiled and rolled her eyes.

'I was just sitting and revelling in the fact that I was home and I was being optimistic to the point of foolishness thinking that everything was just going to fall into place and be perfect and then... then Ron arrived. I was nervous and... flustered and everything I didn't want to be when I finally saw him and we talked. Awkwardly. Very awkwardly. He seemed... distant and maybe even a little angry about ... something. Anyway, I told him I'd missed him, went to hug him and he stepped back and blurted out that he had someone.'

She took a sip of her wine and looked at Ginny. Ginny's expression made her snort her wine.

'He could have hugged you! Just because he's seeing someone doesn't mean he can't touch another woman! And it's _you_, Hermione. It's you and it's him and he's... ugh! So, clueless sometimes!'

Hermione smiled and touched Ginny's hand.

'I thank you for getting indignant on my behalf, but it's probably _because_ it's me and him that's there's a problem. And if I'm honest before the non-hug I thought he looked self assured and confident. Not cocky in any way, Ron's incapable of being cocky... well, he was last time I looked. Unless that's changed while I've not been here, but I doubt it. Anyway, like I said, thank you, but it's fine. Really.'

'Really. It's not. He-... ugh, you know what? Doesn't matter. So, how are... you?'

Hermione shrugged.

'Honestly I don't know. I think I'm okay, I just... I didn't come home for Ron, I came home-.'

'Hermione, I didn't believe you the first time you said that to me and I don't believe it now.'

'Then why didn't you warn me that Ron was seeing someone else?'

She knew that her situation was in no way Ginny's fault and she hadn't meant to sound accusatory but her frustration bubbled over.

'Sorry. I-.'

'I didn't tell you because...' she sighed, 'because there's a part of me that doesn't believe you aren't meant to be together. Don't get me wrong, Mattie's a lovely girl-.'

'So, she's called Mattie, is she?' Hermione asked before staring into her wine again.

'Matilda, Mattie, Matt, she doesn't mind what you call her. Anyway, she is, she's lovely and you can tell she loves Ron more than anything... but there's just a part of me that's rooting for my brother and my best friend to get their arses into gear and get on with what you should have got on with years ago. And if I'm honest I wanted you to come home, before you found out. It was selfish and ridiculous but I didn't know if you'd come home if you knew. I'm sorry. As I said, selfish.'

Hermione smiled. 'Gin, I know you don't believe me when I say that I didn't come back for Ron and Ron alone, but I came back because I was lonely and needed to come back to where I should be. And I don't mind you being selfish, it shows you care and that means a lot.'

...oooOOOooo...

'I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't had as much wine as I know I have.'

'Uh huh. And I'm grieving the fact that because I am not normally allowed to drink more than half a pint of beer at a time when training, I have lost my tolerance to alcohol. I think I need to go home now.'

'Yeah, probably a good idea.'

Both Hermione and Ginny swallowed the last of their drinks and stood. They both wobbled a little and grinned at each other. Ginny snorted and laughed as she made her way out of the pub.

'Ginny!'

Hermione slowly turned round so to not lose her balance and looked to see who had called Ginny's name.

Ginny quickly turned to face Hermione.

'It's Mattie.'

Hermione stared at her and then at the back of her head when Ginny turned back towards the pub.

'Hi, Matt! How long have you been here?'

Mattie made her way through the crowd and the tables and Hermione tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. She couldn't leave, however, because Ginny had grabbed hold of her hand before she could take a step back.

''Bout an hour, I managed to finally get away from work. Absolute nightmare. I don't mind working Saturdays occasionally but not getting out 'til eight takes the piss a bit. Are you not staying? It's only early!'

Hermione tried to stare at the floor but her eyes were drawn to the light brown hair of the woman in front of her, her blue eyes and the few freckles that were scattered across her cheeks.

'Nah, not tonight, I'm back in Wales tomorrow night and I need my sleep. Mattie, there's someone I want to introduce you to.'

Ginny stepped to the side and Hermione hiked a smile onto her face.

'Mattie, this is Hermione Granger, Hermione, Mattie Fergusson.'

Hermione held her hand out to Mattie and Mattie's jaw dropped. Hermione started to withdraw her hand when Mattie grabbed it with both hands.

'Sorry! Hermione, of course. I... I can't believe I'm finally meeting you. I'm sorry if it sounds patronising but I feel like I know you already. I don't of course, can't possibly... but still... again, sorry.'

'Mattie, stop apologising. It's lovely to meet you.'

They let go of each other's hands.

'I'd better get back to the girls, it's my round and they think I'm trying to avoid it. I'll see you soon, Gin. Lovely to meet you, Hermione.'

Mattie gave Ginny a hug and waved at Hermione before Hermione turned and left the pub.

She felt Ginny's presence beside her as she took a few steps towards the middle of the streets.

'I really didn't want to like her,' Hermione said with a sigh.

Ginny chuckled. 'It's quite hard not to, I'm afraid. There's not a bad bone in her body, she always makes an effort with people no matter how boring the conversation is and... well, while this whole book thing's been going on, she's looked after Ron. I don't just mean... well, you know, I mean she kept all the crap from the media away, didn't tell Ron he _needed_ to do anything, just those things he wanted. She encouraged and persuaded on occasion, but only when she knew what was best for Ron more than he knew.'

Hermione's heart sank a little bit further. She could hardly hate someone who had obviously proven herself to be a good person, could she?

'I thought I just said I didn't want to like her!'

Ginny smiled and shrugged. 'Sorry.'

'So how long have they been together?'

'Oh, now you're asking. Let me think... I think they started seeing each other a month or so after the book launch. As I said, she kept him sane during all that hype.'

'So about two and a half years, then.'

'Yeah, about.'

'Do they live together?'

'No, they have their own flats and spend time at both depending on work and the suchlike.'

Hermione nodded. 'How can I know someone so completely and yet not have a clue about any of this.'

Ginny stopped walking and caught Hermione's arm, not letting her walk any further up the street.

'Hermione, I should have told you before now. In my defence I'm away nearly all week and I've been in my own little world. I meant what I said when you phoned the other night, _I_ need to grow up as well. There's more to life than Quidditch and as much as I can't imagine doing anything else at the minute, there will be a day when I want something else to become the centre of my life. I need to start making sure there's something there when that happens. Sorry, I'm rambling, my point is that when I saw Ron I never really saw him with Mattie, I didn't really consider her his girlfriend because I've been waiting for you two to get things sorted. Thought that if just one of you would owl or visit then it would all be okay.'

Hermione looked at her and managed a smile.

'Ginny, this is in no way your fault. I could hardly expect him to not see other people. I hoped he wouldn't but I couldn't expect it. I told you I was being foolishly optimistic to think I would come back and we'd have a nice chat and things would be perfect. There's just a part of me that's a foolish romantic and hoped that would be the way things went.'

'Never stop hoping, Hermione.'

'Well, we'll see about that. I can't live hoping for something that can never be.'

Ginny pulled her into a hug.

'Does her love her, Gin?' Hermione whispered into Ginny's hair.

Ginny pulled back and looked at Hermione.

'He says he does.'

Hermione nodded and turned to walk up the street.

'I'm going back up the hill for a bit, okay? I won't be long.'

Ginny nodded. 'Be careful. I'll see you when you get back.' Ginny apparated away and Hermione started walking through the village to the hill. She could have apparated, but she needed the time to think.

'Fancy seeing you here.'

She jumped and her eyes found him. He was sat on the rock, long legs dangling and his arms stretched out behind him, holding his weight as he gazed forwards towards the village.

'How was your evening?' he asked.

'Great, thank you. It was brilliant catching up with Ginny. Oh, and I met Mattie, she's lovely.'

'Oh! Yeah she is.'

'I've seen her before, not met her but seen her.'

'Have you?' he took his weight off his hands and put his elbows on his knees. His hands fidgeted.

'Yes.'

She didn't try and carry on the conversation, not really wanting to tell that story. The moment passed and Ron dropped his gaze from her to the rock.

'You stopped writing, Hermione.'

Her stance changed instantly. Her back straightened and she raised her chin.

'You stopped writing, too, Ron. Communication works both ways.'

'Why didn't you come to the book launch? Two years and ten months ago I asked you to be there. I _needed_ you there because you had been the one who had told me the whole book thing was a good idea. You were the one who told me people wanted to hear my words about how that year played out and yet you weren't there! _Why?_'

Hermione closed her eyes. Apparently she was going to relive that story whether she wanted to or not...

_**Two years earlier, **_**Right Hand Man**_** Book Launch...**_

_She had never felt so proud of him. Flourish and Blotts was rammed full of people waiting to buy their reserved copy of the book that had been – to some – a very long time coming and they were waiting to see Ron. Ronald Weasley, published author. She made her way through the crowd, excusing herself politely as she did so. People looked at her, recognised her and let her through. When she was near the front of the crowd she spotted him, standing behind a table looking incredibly nervous._

_Mattie was stood next to him and beaming at him. He was smiling back at her, but obviously a little uncomfortable. She watched as he turned towards her and his smile widened. He held his arms open to her and she hugged him tightly. She stepped back and then as if she had taken a second to think about it, stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. The kiss lingered and when she pulled back she blushed. She said a few words and the both of them laughed and smiled with happiness._

_It was like someone had reached into her chest and put an icy hand around her heart. She looked at him and he looked relaxed and calm and as if he could take on the world, which was, in a way, what he was about to do. He started to turn back towards the crowd who were becoming impatient and she turned and made her way back towards the door as quickly as possible._

_She couldn't help the few tears that fell from her eyes as she walked and it was all she could do to stop herself turning back around and confronting him. But this was not the time or the place. Today was Ron's day, and she wouldn't ruin it for him. He had other people who were better at taking care of him than she was and people who were there for him all the time. She left before she needed someone to take care of her._

'I was there, Ron,' she whispered, toeing the grass with her shoe. 'Of course I was there.'

He frowned and jumped down off the rock.

'But I...'

'Mattie was there for you, you didn't need me.'

She watched as his face turned angry. 'I didn't _need you_? Hermione I needed you there to tell me that I had done everything right, that I had done Harry and you proud with what I had written. That I had done everyone who died in that war proud with what I had written, that I had done _your_ idea proud!'

He had walked towards her while he spoke and she desperately wanted to hold him and tell him that he had done everyone proud with his account of the year of Voldemort's reign over the Wizarding Community, but she didn't.

'Ron, I saw you and Mattie together. She... calmed you down and told you everything you needed to know. You were relaxed, confident and ready to take on everyone who stood in front of you that day. I was a distant thought, Ron, that's why I left. But know this, Ron, if you ever ask me to go anywhere, I'll be there in a second.'

'But you left!'

'And you didn't bother to find out why.'

His face fell and he walked back to the rock and perched against it.

'I thought I wasn't good enough, that you'd realised I wasn't good enough. I didn't need that in a letter. I didn't need to have my faults laid out in writing.'

Hermione smiled and shook her head. She raised her head to Ron and her expression turned to a determined glare.

'Do you remember the day you came to me, Ron, not having a clue what you wanted to do with the rest of your life? You sat in front of me in the kitchen at the Burrow and you lamented that everyone you knew was organising themselves and Had A Plan! You took your battered notebook out of your pocket, threw it on the table and said that it was only because of your notebook and your entries about your days that you knew you were still living.

'I took the letter I'd got that morning from the Prophet begging me to write them some entries about the past year for the paper and I told you that _you_ should do it. You laughed at me and told me I was insane and that you could never do something like that and you weren't sure you _wanted_ to do something like that for the hundreds of reasons there were. But I looked at you and reminded you that when we'd talked about that past year, you were so eloquent and dedicated to those memories because everything we did deserved to be remembered. I knew you were the one to do this. They weren't going to stop hassling us about it and you were the person who should tell our story, exactly the way it happened, to anyone who wanted to read about it.'

He started kicking the rock with his shoe.

'Everyone wants more, though, now. They want more about school and about Harry and Voldemort and I can't give it to them. I don't have any more words and I don't have the drive to get me anywhere. I made a promise to the publisher that there would be more and I don't have it. I don't... have it...'

Hermione took the few steps to the rock and perched onto it next to Ron.

'When we were at school and I was obsessed with getting the House Elves equal rights and I came to you and asked you if everything I was doing was pointless, you looked at me and said, that my determination for doing what was right was the most important thing I had and you have no idea how those words got me through so much.

'You're passion about telling the truthful story about everything we did and our journey and our fight and everyone else's fight is what drives you, Ron... _and your determination for doing what is right is the most important thing you have._ Go and tell the story of oppression and hardship and finding friendship during the most difficult of times. I had faith in you then, Ron and I have faith in you now. I always will do. Nothing can ever change that.'

Ron turned to look at her and she met his eyes. He smiled at her and took her hand and kissed the back of it.

'Can I get my hello hug, now?' she asked quietly.

He smiled and pulled her hand so she had to stand. He followed and took her in his arms.

She knew she shouldn't be breathing him in as if he was the oxygen her body needed, knew she shouldn't try and count the ribs she could feel beneath her fingers, knew she shouldn't be trying to press every possible inch of herself into him and knew she should be stepping back and walking away from him.

But still she held onto him and it was only when she fell asleep that night that she truly let go.


	3. Confusion

**Leaning Slightly to the Left**

**Confusion**

'Shit, shit, shit, shit, shiiiiiiiiit!'

Hermione looked up from her book to see Ginny shuffling across the lounge with one high heeled shoe on and one high heeled shoe in her left hand.

'Problem, Ginevra?'

'Have you seen my hair? Yes, I have a problem! I cannot go out to the Harpies mid season ball looking like this!'

Hermione put her book down and looked properly at her best friend. Half of her hair was sleek and pinned exactly how it should be and the other half was in a giant knot.

'Dare I ask what went wrong?' Hermione asked as she stood. She pulled the rather short dress she was wearing – borrowed from Ginny – an inch down and had a feeling she would be spending the rest of the evening doing that very thing.

'I was doing what I've done to the rest of my hair with my wand but I mustn't have been concentrating properly because before I knew it I had this,' she pointed to the right side of her head where a large portion of her hair seemed to have formed itself into a very good imitation of a birds nest, 'and now I can't get rid of it!'

Hermione sighed and pulled her wand out of her boot.

'Sit,' she said. Ginny sighed and perched on the end of the sofa.

'Oh, and just so you know, you're keeping that dress.'

Hermione concentrated on the mass of hair and twirled her wand around the mass a few times, assessing the damage.

'I'm not keeping your dress, Ginny.'

'Yes you are, you look better in it than I do, I can't wear it now.'

'Have you been drinking?' Hermione asked as she pulled a chunk of hair free of the nest.

'There may be an open bottle of wine in my bedroom but that's neither here nor there.'

'Should you be drinking before an official function?'

'After five minutes of the company that will be there you will have wished you'd drunk before you got there, too.'

'Although I'm dressed and ready to go I can be undressed in less than a minute. You're not selling this evening to me, Gin!'

Another, larger chunk of hair came free of the mess.

'You're coming, Hermione, I need the moral support!'

'You have Harry for that.'

'Oh, please, Harry's bad at Harpie functions. The other girls fawn over him and I lose him within ten minutes.'

'Again, not selling this to me, Gin.'

'Okay, how's this, there'll be lots of fit men there, free alcohol and food and a bloody good dance at the end.'

Hermione freed the last chunk of hair and smoothed the entire part that was now free with her wand.

'Well, I suppose that's a little better, although I'm still a bit narked that you told Ron he could be my escort. You're done.'

Ginny stood and raked her fingers through her hair.

'Thank you and it seemed ridiculous Ron going separately and you going separately when the four of us are going to be spending the evening together anyway. You're friends, remember, Hermione, it'll be fine. Look, you and Ron can grumble together that you have other places you'd rather be but because you love me so much you're there, okay?'

'Ginny.'

'What?'

'Calm down, it's going to be fine, why are you worried about this?'

'Sorry. I just... I'm making a speech tonight and I'm scared shitless. All my peers are going to be there, management, scouts, even the sodding chairman's gonna be there and I have to talk about the club and the team and... ugh! I hate public speaking and Gwenog _knows_ that but she still asked me.'

'Okay, before I talk you down from the edge, I have to ask again, why did you think drinking beforehand was a good idea?'

'Because it calms my nerves.'

'Evidently!'

Ginny sighed and slumped against the sofa. Hermione decided she needed to pull Ginny out of her panic and calm her down. She took her arm and pulled her so she was standing. Her electric blue dress was rumpled where she had fallen against the sofa. Hermione pulled the material into shape and took her other shoe out her hand and dropped it on the floor. Ginny pushed her foot into it. Hermione looked at Ginny, she was shocked to see her eyes glistening.

'Oh, now come on, Gin. We'll have none of that. You are one of the most confident people I know and you will be fine when you stand in front of people who admire you and love you for who you are. '

Ginny nodded.

'And if they don't like your speech, me, Harry and Ron will Obliviate everyone in the room and make them think you were brilliant, okay?'

Ginny laughed. 'I'll hold you to that.'

'You won't have to. Now, let's get your hair finished. If I'm honest I think if you take half of these pins out and just put the top half of your hair up, it'll look really sexy and... actually probably not a good idea. Harry won't be able to take his eyes or hands off you.'

'Sounds excellent!'

The fireplace whooshed with green flames and Harry's head appeared in the fire. He had his eyes closed and Hermione snorted.

'Can we come through? Are you decent?'

'Open your eyes, Harry,' Ginny said as she rolled hers.

'Oh! Good, you're ready, we'll be through in a minute.'

'Okay.'

The flames disappeared and Hermione's heart seemed to be beating really loudly in her chest. She pulled her dress down, yet again and carefully felt her hair to make sure it was still in place.

'You look gorgeous, Hermione. Stop fidgeting. And I'm serious about you keeping that dress.'

Before she could reply the flames appeared and then died down leaving two slightly dusty looking men behind. They both took out their wands and removed the small covering of dust and soot from their robes and stepped into the room.

'Wow, you still scrub up well, Hermione,' Harry said with a grin. He stepped forwards and hugged her.

'Ever the charmer, Harry, but I can say the same for you.'

She was trying her hardest not to look at Ron because there was always one way to make her stomach squirm with want and that was to see Ron in dress robes. She resisted for as long as she could and when Harry stepped around her to say hello to Ginny she looked into his blue eyes and couldn't help but smile.

'Evening,' he said with a smirk, 'Bloody hell, Gin, you're ready!'

Hermione turned to look at Ginny who had raised her eyebrows.

'Well, as much as I hate to disappoint you, dear brother, I haven't finished doing my hair, so please feel free to mess up my flat while I finish. I will only be a few minutes.'

'Have you got any Firewhisky, Gin?' Ron called as she walked through to the bedroom.

'Yeah, in the alcohol cupboard.'

Hermione raised her eyebrows as Ron walked through to the kitchen.

'Should a Quidditch star have an alcohol cupboard, Ginny?'

'Abso-bloody-lutely!' Ginny called from the bedroom.

Harry laughed and followed Ginny into the bedroom and Hermione wandered into the kitchen after Ron.

It had been a week since she arrived back in the country and it had been a hectic week. She had gone into the Ministry on the Monday and had been given the exact same job she had had in France. She was still doing the donkey work in the Department of Magical Law that she had been for four years, but that was the way it worked. You did the junior work for six years and you learnt from those around you. You absorbed and you helped and you did the assignments you were asked to do and at the end of your six years you applied for one of the assistant jobs that came up every year.

If she was honest with herself, she was thoroughly bored. She didn't mind the fact that she had to do the junior work and work her way up, but she had done every assignment asked of her and in record time, she had even looked at the ones the people who had been taken on a the year previous to her and had done one in her spare time easily.

She had something of a plan, but she wasn't sure whether she could pull it off. A year ago she had watched as one of the extremely bright men who had been at the French Ministry's Department of Magical Law two years longer than her had applied for one of the assistant jobs and had been successful in his application. He had taken the initiative and done the assignments that he would have done if he had done the programme normally and he was promoted a year early. She knew it was a long shot that she would be accepted two years earlier than normal, but she didn't have anything to lose.

She had learned the hard way that not taking opportunities handed to you on a plate could come back and haunt you, so she was determined to make and take this opportunity for herself.

'Drink?' Ron asked as he pulled a glass out of the cupboard.

'Um, yeah, why not?'

She watched as he poured it out. She was about to remind him how she preferred her Firewhisky, (not that she drank it a great deal) but she didn't need to. She watched as he took one of the Lemons from the fruit bowl and sliced it in half and roughly squeezed it into the glass. He took another glass and charmed it full of water and then turned it to ice. He took three of the lumps and put them in Hermione's glass and the ran the lemon around the rim of the glass.

He turned to a staring Hermione and handed it to her.

'I guess there's just some things you don't forget,' she said before taking a sip of the amber liquid.

Ron smiled and prepared his own drink in the same way he had Hermione's but he didn't edge the glass with lemon juice. Hermione smiled. He had had to admit that adding lemon juice to the drink was a nice touch, but he didn't like having to taste the lemon straight before the alcohol hit his lips.

'How's the transfer to the Ministry going?' he asked as he turned and propped himself against the kitchen cupboard.

'It went as smoothly as possible, I have the same monotonous job, just the cases have changed, oh and everything's in English as opposed to French.'

Ron smiled. 'You picked the language up way too quickly! I know I should never be amazed at your intelligence but when I heard you speaking fluently after only a few months it took my breath away.'

Hermione smiled and took another sip of her drink.

'It was learn it or fail miserably at everything I was doing. It added another challenge to the job and I enjoyed that.'

'But now you're saying your job is monotonous. What changed?'

'Nothing! That's the point. I understand that you have to do the ground work and work your way up the ladder and do the assignments they ask of you, but I just feel a bit... bored. I'm not being arrogant it's just a bit... samey.'

Ron took a large mouthful of whisky. 'Is there no way to make it more challenging again?'

'Well... a few years ago there was a man at the Ministry who was bored like I was and he still had another year to go doing what I do. He found out what all the Ministry assignments were that he would have to do over the next year and applied early for one of the assistant jobs. People scoffed and told him he was up himself and arrogant but he did the work, did it well, impressed at interview and became an assistant earlier than he should have.'

'So do that! Hermione if anyone can do work twice the normal speed, you can!'

Hermione smiled and her heart lifted a little. 'Yeah but he was only one year off finishing, I'm two off and that's not been done before.'

'So!' Ron pushed himself off the counter and stood to face Hermione. She could read his look of determination and knew he wouldn't let this drop. 'Hermione, since when has 'that's not been done before' bothered you? You're Hermione Granger, war hero with the highest N.E.W.T marks for decades at Hogwarts. You were given a job at a Ministry in a foreign country straight out of school which had never been done before. Don't you dare stand there and tell me you're not good enough to do this! At the very least you give it a go!'

Hermione shrugged but smiled with it. 'Thank you for your confidence in me, Ron. I'll seriously consider it. Anyway, how are you getting on?'

Ron looked into his drink and smiled. 'I started writing. Nothing with any particular direction or order to it, just thoughts and feelings and I think I've got something that can link it all together.'

Hermione watched as he talked about what he had done and she couldn't help but beam at him. He had become animated and was obviously excited about what he had achieved in the past few days.

'Why are you grinning at me?' he said with a half smile.

'Sorry! I'm just happy to see you so happy about what you're doing. It's like when you first got into writing Right Hand Man and you'd found a way of healing and mending by getting it all down on paper. You're excited about writing, Ron I can't not be happy!'

Ron laughed and she laughed with him.

'Seriously, though, if you're happy then I'm happy.'

She closed her eyes and felt the weight of the words she had just said hang in the air.

'Thanks,' Ron said quietly. She heard him drain his glass and she took a larger than normal mouthful herself, and then another. The liquid burned her throat and she coughed quietly before putting the glass next to Ron's.

'Done!' Ginny exclaimed from the lounge.

Hermione walked through to stand with Ginny and Harry and Ron followed her.

'Right, remember, don't pay for a thing tonight, it's all on the club. Some of the bartenders are sneaky bastards and pocket any money they get off drunk patrons who don't have to pay anything, but do.'

'Robbing bastards!' Ron exclaimed.

'Precisely. So no paying for anything. Right. Let's go!'

Hermione watched as she grabbed hold of Harry's arm and apparated them both out of there. Harry looked like he was about to ask something but thought better of it before disappearing.

Hermione turned to face Ron who had held is hand out to her. She reached her hand to him but before he could take it pulled back. He raised his eyebrows in concern.

'Ron, is this strange and... weird? I mean you should be going with Mattie and I shouldn't be going at all! I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything.'

Ron smirked. 'Hermione, we're friends and we're going to my little sister's and your best friend's commemorative, celebratory... party... thing... It was the logical choice that I escort you.'

'Since when have you cared about what's logical?' she asked before she could stop herself. 'I mean... you don't do logical, Ron! You're chaotic to the core!'

She smiled a nervous smile and he snorted.

'I'm going to take that as a compliment as opposed to the insult it was intended at.'

'Not an insult,' she insisted, 'just... an observation.'

'Well, as I said, there's nothing wrong with two friends going to a function together, so stop stressing and enjoy yourself, okay? I intend to get thoroughly drunk because it's free.'

Hermione nodded. 'As long as you're okay with it, then I am.'

Ron looked at her and while she was trying not to stare into his eyes she realised he looked touched by her comment. He extended his hand to her once more and she took it. Ron gripped tightly and turned on the spot.

...oooOOOooo...

The night had been more entertaining than she had thought it would be. The numerous speeches had been very well received, Ginny's especially. She protested that she stumbled over a couple of her words and talked too fast but Hermione hadn't noticed and neither had anyone she'd talked to about it.

The drinks had flowed freely but she had been sensible with what she had drunk, unlike Harry who had disappeared half an hour ago and Ron had definitely taken advantage of the free bar. He had also taken advantage of the free food as well so the alcohol had had less effect than he had hoped.

She had chatted to people she knew, people she knew only a little and had talked to complete strangers but she was happy and had enjoyed herself.

She had found herself back at the bar, not by intent, purely because that was the way her journey through the crowds of people had taken her. The dark haired and dark eyed bar tender smiled at her and took her empty glass. She hopped onto the bar stool with less dignity than she would have liked but she didn't think anyone noticed.

'I don't think I need to cut you off just yet, you seem far too coherent! Another?'

'Just a water please.'

The bartender grinned. 'Wow, Miss Adventurous!'

Hermione raised her eyebrows and smirked.

'Fine! I'll have a lime and soda!'

He grinned. 'Lime and soda it is.' He turned around to make Hermione's drink and she watched him work. She snorted when he put the soda water and lime in a cocktail shaker and showed off by throwing and catching the it over and over. He grinned when he saw her watching and then finally poured her drink over ice. She was going to comment about a possible explosion with the drink being mostly carbonated water but didn't and was surprised and slightly relieved when nothing exploded. She decided the shaker was charmed.

'Was all that necessary for a lime and soda?' she asked with a smile.

He chuckled. 'Well, I like to make a fuss of my customers, especially when they're Hermione Granger.'

She raised her eyebrows and took her drink off him.

'Well, seeing as though you know my name it seems only fair that you tell me yours.'

The bartender smiled what Hermione thought was a genuine smile and reached out his hand across the bar.

'I'm Quintus Grant.'

'Lovely to meet you, Quintus.'

'Have you enjoyed the evening, Hermione?' Quintus asked, letting go of her hand.

'I have, more so than I expected. I'll admit I was a little... unenthusiastic about coming, but I'm glad I did. It's nice to just get out and not care about anything for a few hours.'

'Does Hermione Granger have a lot on her mind?'

Hermione took sip of her drink and smiled. 'A little. You must get a lot of people pouring their hearts out to you.'

Quintus nodded and smirked. 'A few. Some things I'd rather not remember but a couple of people have left my bar happier than when they arrived, and not just because of the alcohol. Although that probably helped.'

'Have you worked at the Stadium long?'

Quintus took a swig from a bottle of Butter Beer and nodded. 'Yeah, years. I started right here behind the bar, then became bar manager and then they put me in charge of functions and events, more fool them.'

Hermione raised her eyebrows. You're head of events at the Harpies' stadium and yet you're serving drinks behind the bar like you did when you started out?'

Quintus tilted his head to the side and Hermione realised his eyes weren't as dark as he first thought. In fact they seemed a lot lighter than she remembered.

'I never ask my staff do something that I wouldn't do myself. This was a big event and one of the lads is on holiday so here I am.'

'Well, I think your management style is brilliant. I just wish more people in higher places would do the dirty work occasionally, they'd find people would respect them a whole lot more if they did.'

'Well, that's what I thought. Plus it's nice to stand here and people watch sometimes. I miss that but you can't argue with the pay rise that having 'Manager' in your title brings.'

Hermione nodded as she drank more of her lime and soda. A shock of red hair pulled her eyes towards the crowd and she watched as Ron walked towards her, a smile on his face.

'Hi,' he said before glancing at Quintus. 'Are you ready to leave? I know you were ready a while ago.'

Hermione looked at him and watched as Quintus walked to the other end of the bar, taking a stack of clean glasses with him as he went. She thought about going home, but she was enjoying pleasant conversation and she didn't want it to end.

'Actually, I think I'm okay staying for a bit longer.'

Quintus walked back towards Hermione and when her eyes met his, he smiled. She looked at Ron who had turned to look at Quintus and he didn't disguise the small frown on his face.

'Are you sure? I'm worried about you getting home.'

'I'll be fine, Ron, but thank you for your concern.'

Ron's frown intensified but then he seemed to remember himself and the frown disappeared. He stepped into Hermione and went to hug her. She put her arms around him and he leaned into her hair.

'He's not good enough for you.'

Her arms dropped from around his back and she was instantly aggravated.

He leaned back and put his hand on top of hers.

'Be careful getting home. I'll see you soon.'

She didn't respond, just felt anger invade her every cell. She watched as he walked away. She could hear Quintus moving glasses around behind the bar and turned to him.

'Would you mind just looking after my drink? I'll be back in a minute.'

Quintus nodded and took her glass before putting it behind the bar.

'Thanks,' she said as she hopped off the stool and stared following Ron out of the function room.

She caught up to him outside the cloak room and watched as he retrieved his cloak and walked out to the corridor. She followed him and made sure no one was following her. As soon as the door shut behind her she shouted.

'You don't get to say that, Ron!'

She was mortified when she felt tears burn her eyes. She hated that he could bring these emotions out in her so often and with such intensity.

He turned round and looked at her.

'I don't get to say what?' he replied, taking a couple of steps towards her.

''_He's not good enough for you!_' You don't get to say things like that because it's got nothing to do with you!'

She could see a change in him. The confident Ron that she had met a week ago seemed to disappear and she recognised the Ron stood in front of her now.

'I just care about you. I want the best for you.'

He stared at the floor and put his hands in his trouser pockets. Hermione sighed.

'I know you do but it's up to me to decide who's good enough for me, isn't it? And if I remember rightly you're not a great judge about deciding who's good enough for me. You convinced yourself you weren't remember?'

At another time she wouldn't have said anything, but she needed to for some reason she wasn't sure about.

'Saying stuff like that isn't fair to me and it's not fair to Mattie either. I get that we're friends, Ron and I get that you moved on and have someone special, but I don't understand what just happened in there, and honestly, I'm not sure if I want to understand it.'

She looked at him and he brought his gaze to her. He looked like he was struggling with something he wanted to say but Hermione realised she didn't want to hear it.

She turned before her nerve could fail her and she pushed on the door.

'None of this is fair, Hermione,' Ron whispered. She barely heard it but it stopped her dead.

She kept her hold on the door and looked over her shoulder.

'Believe me, Ron, of that I'm fully aware.'


	4. Clarity

::waves:: Thank you for the reviews so far, makes me happy when people comment :D

This chapter should clarify a few things, or just make you even more confused!

**Leaning Slightly to the Left**

_**Revelation**_

She had spent the last couple of weeks avoiding Ron at all cost, to the point that when he came round one evening she pretended to be in her room asleep. She had found a note in the fireplace when she came home telling her he was coming over to see her, and when he arrived she had been lying on her bed reading. She wasn't sure why she did it, but when he walked through the house trying to find her, she just closed her eyes and let her book fall to the bed.

He poked his head around her door after knocking and telling her he was coming in. She heard him sigh and thought she could detect a smile when he did. She wondered what he would do, whether he would wake her and say what he wanted or walk away and leave it unsaid. He walked away.

She was disappointed, wanting to know that he needed to talk to her, but she knew that playing games with him was ridiculous and childish and she decided not to do it again.

But she hadn't had the chance because she had no reason to see Ron, and she hadn't made the effort to do so. She knew the longer she left it before seeing him the more impact there would be when she did, but at the minute she needed the escapism.

Which is why she found it very bizarre to find herself reading _Right Hand Man_. Again. She had flicked through the many pages, and had read Ron's account of the time he had spent at Shell Cottage without her and Harry. She had read his words describing how she had been tortured, and finally she had read the final chapter where the madness had ended and their future was just beginning.

She remembered the way he had stared at her while they sat at the table waiting for something to happen and she remembered him leaning in and kissing her. Before she knew it, she was remembering far more than she wanted to.

...oooOOOOoo...

_**2nd May 1997**_

She wasn't entirely sure how she felt. So much had happened and she could barely remember some of it. All she knew for certain was that she was alive, Harry and Ron were alive, other people she cared about were alive, but other people she cared about were not.

She wanted to jump up and down and run around with the relief that she had a life to live how she wanted, without oppression and the weight of something huge pressing down on her shoulders, but she didn't because she also wanted to sit where she was and cry because of everything she had had to do and everything she had been through. She felt like she was going to burst with all the things she was feeling, but at the same time she felt empty.

She looked at the wand in her hand – the wand she hadn't let go of since they arrived at Hogwarts – and was both terrified at what it had done to her and thankful that she had it.

Confusion didn't even begin to cover it.

For the seventh time in the past hour – she had no idea why she was counting – she felt tears burn her eyes and she turned to look at Ron. He was staring at the table in front of him and he looked afraid and shocked and her stomach squirmed in fear.

'What is it? What's wrong?'

He turned to look at her and she was partly relieved to see his expression change and a smile appear on his face. He leant forward and kissed her, taking her completely off guard, and she couldn't help but smile. _This_ is what she wanted. Small things that were new and exciting but felt natural. She wanted to do this all day long, even though that was a ridiculous notion.

They both pulled apart and rested their foreheads together.

'Um...' she started before inwardly rolling her eyes at herself for not having a clue what to say.

'Fancy a walk?' Ron asked as he took her hand.

She sat up and smiled at him.

'Sounds lovely.'

.oOo.

_**3rd June 1998**_

'They want me to go to France.'

She knew she should have softened the blow a little but she had been so taken aback by the news that her brain was past being cautious.

'They what?'

His expression was half smirk, half confusion. She sighed.

'They want me to do part of my training in France. Same job, same training, just in... France.'

'_France_, France?'

'How many Frances do you know?'

Ron shook his head as if clearing his thoughts.

'Sorry, right. France. Wow!'

'Yeah. Wow.'

'You don't sound very enthusiastic about it.'

She knew he was keeping what he really felt to himself and she loved him for that but didn't want him to.

'I... honestly I don't know how to feel. It's an amazing opportunity and a privilege to be asked but... I'd be in France and you'd be here.'

He nodded. 'Yeah.'

'Ron, please say something.'

It was as if she could see his defences slide up.

'Thought I was!'

'You know what I mean!' she snapped. She closed her eyes and sighed, trying to calm herself down. She didn't want this to turn into an argument. She hated fighting with Ron. 'I want to know how you feel about it. Whether you think I should do my training at the French Ministry or whether I should stay here. Whether you'll hate me if I go. Whether we'll be okay if I did...'

Ron nodded and stepped towards her. Hermione held out her hand to him and he pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his robes.

'How many people have they asked to go?'

'Just me. Apparently my N.E.W.T marks are... well, good, so the Ministry want to... McGonagal said the Ministry wants to show me off a little.'

She had mumbled the last half of her sentence into his chest and she felt the rumble of his chuckle.

'Even on leaving school you're a swat!'

She managed half a smile.

'When you say your results are good, what are they? Did they tell you?'

She shook her head. 'Not specifically, only that in one of my papers I'd... beaten all previous scores.'

Ron pushed her away from him but kept a tight hold on her shoulders.

'You got the highest score _ever_ in one of your exams?'

She nodded and gave a small smile.

'Hermione, that's... you're brilliant, you know that?'

She managed a genuine smile. 'You have a habit of telling me when I most need it.'

Ron leaned towards her and kissed her hard and hugged her.

'You need to go to France,' he said quietly into her hair.

She pulled back and stared at him.

'But-.'

'I'm not going to be the reason that you don't go and dazzle the world with how brilliant you are.'

'But, Ron, I can take the same job in this country. The fact that it's in France only adds to the fact I have to become fluent in another language to the whole thing.'

'And therefore challenging you and giving you more chances to shine.'

'But what's the point of shining if you're lonely?'

'Hermione. Look at me.' She had resolutely been looking at the collar on his robes and finally looked into his eyes. 'I'm going nowhere. I start training soon and I'll be just as tied up with work as you. I love you enough to know that we will work through this. There's weekends, there's international portkeys, and there are owls. We'll be fine. I didn't go through all that crap fighting evil to lose you because of a bit of sea, okay? We'll be fine. Forever and eternity, yeah?'

She smiled and nodded, tears burning her eyes.

'Forever and eternity.'

.oOo.

_**24th September 1999**_

She was pacing and reading and reading and pacing and wasn't going to stop any time soon. The parchment in her hand was possibly the most important thing she had ever written and she was determined it was going to be perfect. She knew that she had only been given the job of writing her boss's opening statement for the trial he was about to be a part of because he was lazy. He had worded it as though he was giving her a big break, but after only a year of training this wasn't going to fast track her anyway soon. Even so, she jumped at the chance and had read and re-read her boss's notes on the crime and all the evidence there was.

She had been concise, to the point, and had what she thought was a very healthy opening statement. She had asked her friend, Isabelle to check her grammar as she was still not quite confident enough with her French to leave it as it was, and was now checking through it one last time before she left it on the desk behind her and left for the afternoon.

There was a knock on the door but she kept on reading and pacing.

'Entré,' she said, her eyes carrying along the parchment as if she hadn't been disturbed. She heard the door open but still carried on reading.

'I don't think I'll ever stop finding you speaking French, sexy.'

Her head snapped towards the door and her eyes fell on Ron in his Ministry robes, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

'Ron!'

All thoughts of the parchment in her hand disappeared. She hurried around the desk and threw herself into his outstretched arms. He picked her up and spun her around. Happiness bubbled through her and she laughed into his shoulder.

'What are you doing here?' she asked as he put her down, but kept a tight hold around her waist.

'What do you think I'm doing here? I'm here to see my wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, French speaking girlfriend and spend the weekend with her.'

She smiled wider than she thought possible.

'You're here for the whole weekend?'

'I am! I've booked a hotel for us so you don't have to worry about anything and we can just relax for the next two days. Providing you don't have anything else planned, of course.'

She playfully hit him on the shoulder.

'Even if I did have plans, I'd cancel them for you.'

He grinned and leaned down to kiss her. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of him and couldn't help but smile as he kissed her. She sucked on his tongue and grabbed a handful of his longer-than-she-remembered hair. They broke apart panting.

'I suggest that we stop this unless you want me to throw you on that desk and shag you senseless.'

She giggled and took half a step back from him. 'Well, Adrian is due back soon so that could be... awkward to say the least.'

He grinned at her. 'You're thinking about it though, aren't you?'

She laughed. 'I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Liar. When do you finish?'

'Actually I finish now, but then I'm back at six for a couple of hours to get everything sorted for the trial on Monday.'

'So, a late dinner about eight is okay?'

She frowned. 'Make it nine, just to be sure.'

Ron nodded and smiled. 'So, you have a couple of hours now, then?' he asked with a smirk.

Hermione tried to hide her smile. 'I might have. That depends entirely what you plan to do with me!'

He stepped in to her and grinned. 'Well, you need, what? Ten minutes to snack? Twenty minutes to get ready for our meal into something that is both sexy but still okay for your meeting, so that leaves us with a whole hour and an added thirty minutes bonus time to do whatever we like.'

'Oh, I think we can find plenty of things to fill that time.'

...

The paperwork pile had been taller than she had ever anticipated but she had to work through it, the trial was first thing Monday morning after all. Thankfully there were three other people there to work through it with her, so she was optimistic that it would all be done in the three hours she had and set to work.

'Hermione, vous n'auriez pas dû partir?'

Hermione's head snapped up from her parchment. She was on the last section and was hurrying through but had lost track of the time.

'Quelle heur et il?' she asked her co-worker.

'Il est... neuf heures et demie.'

'_Shit!_'

She turned back to her parchment and ignored the raised eyebrows as she scribbled something down. She threw the paper on her pile and as she left the room she told her colleagues that she had finished and begged them to put her pile of paper with theirs in the correct order. They agreed and said goodbye to her with a smile.

'Ron, I'm so sorry I'm late. The paperwork we were left was ridiculous and I did it as quickly as I could but I lost track of the time and-.'

He had kissed her to stop her talking. She pulled back and blushed.

'Sorry.'

'Stop apologising, it's fine. You're here now and that's all that matters. They're running a bit late anyway.

He pulled her chair out from underneath the table and motioned that she should sit down. She hid her bulky work bag under the table and straightened herself out before taking the seat.

'Thank you. And thank you for this, Ron.'

She motioned around her and she relaxed when she saw him smile.

'You're welcome. Would you like some of the normal wine or would you like to try the special one they've been trying to get me to order since I sat down?'

She chuckled. 'Why do I get the impression that the _special_ one comes with a _special_ price?'

Ron grinned. 'I think your impression would be right, but ignore the astronomical pricing. Tonight is... special... so, order what you want.'

Hermione nodded and blushed a little even though she had no idea why she did. Ron reached across the table and took her hands in his.

'I miss stuff like this,' he said quietly.

She nodded. 'I know. I do, too.'

She looked at him and thought he was going to carry on the conversation but instead he smiled and started talking about Harry and Ginny instead. She loved hearing about how everyone was doing and it was with a twinge of regret that she realised how much she was missing at home. Though the conversation was easy she thought Ron was holding something back and he was fidgeting more than was normal for him. She didn't mention it and they ate their starters and main course with contented conversation and a lot of giggling.

They were waiting to look at the desert menu when the waiter arrived with a small, tightly wound scroll.

'Un message est arrivé pour vous, Mademoiselle Granger,' he turned and left as soon as he had placed the scroll on the table.

Not having the time to thank him, Hermione frowned and looked at Ron. She fumbled in her robes for her wand and tapped the scroll. It unravelled and she read the words. Her heart sank and she sighed.

'What is it?' Ron asked.

'Adrian's dropped some more paperwork into the office and wants me there to go through it.'

'Now?' Ron asked, his tone annoyed.

'The trial's Monday, it's either now or tomorrow or Sunday. I'd rather get it over and done with.'

'But we haven't finished here yet! Can't it wait? I'm only here for the weekend and I... I want to spend every minute possible with you.'

She reached over and took his hands. 'I know it's rubbish timing, and I'm sorry but it's best I get this out the way, isn't it? I'll make it up to you, later. I promise.'

She smiled at him and after a few seconds his frown turned into half a smile.

'Shall I get pudding to take to the hotel?' he asked.

'Sounds like an excellent idea. Hopefully I should be back in a couple of hours. Nothing major seemed to be missing earlier so I can't imagine it's going to take too long.'

Ron nodded and took her hands in his. He kissed her knuckles and she stood. Ron took a card out of his pocket and handed it to her.

'The address of the hotel where we're staying,' he said with a smile.

Her eyes scanned over the address and her eyebrows raised.

'Ron! This is the most exclusive and overpriced hotel in France! How did you get us in there?'

Ron grinned, obviously please with himself. 'Our best friend is Harry Potter. Pulling a few strings was not difficult!'

Hermione giggled and mouthed 'I love you' at him.

'I love you, too. Room three-one-seven, I'll let everyone know you're respectable enough to come in.'

'Why, thank you! I'll see you soon.'

...

'Soon' had been far too optimistic. She had been hoping to be back at the hotel with Ron for eleven, but it was now nearly half past midnight and she didn't know how upset or angry Ron would be when she opened the door. She knocked quietly and waited to hear footsteps. She heard nothing so pushed the door and was relieved when it opened. She presumed Ron was asleep, she couldn't blame him, so she locked the door behind her and toed off her shoes. She hung her robes on the door hook and looked through to the deceptively large room.

She smiled when she saw Ron lying on his back, dead to the world. She tip toed around to the other side of the bed, intent on waking him up in his favourite way, when something on the floor caught her eye. She squinted in the soft lamp light and bent down to see what had obviously dropped out of Ron's hand and on to the floor. Her heart began to race when she noticed it was a small, square, velvet covered box.

She reached out and picked it up. She felt the hinge on one side and followed the break around the other sides. She walked to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down, her elbows on her knees and her hands passing the box from left to right.

She didn't have a clue what she was feeling. Her initial excitement had been replaced by uncertainty and – she was somewhat ashamed to admit it – fear.

She loved Ron, of this she was sure, but marriage? She had just turned twenty years old and she lived in a different country to him! When she thought about the future she thought about a future with Ron in it and never anything different. But she thought about that future after she had done her six years hard graft and when Ron was fully qualified and comfortable in his position at the Auror department.

Thoughts flew through her mind, what might happen if she said yes, what might happen if she said... no. But it wasn't no, it was a yes-in-a-few-years. She would never say no to Ron, she just wasn't sure if saying yes now was the right thing to do. There was so much she wanted to do with her life and it scared her that marriage might put an end to that. It was a ridiculous notion, having a ring on her finger wouldn't stop her doing anything, that was a stereotype and something she knew Ron would be mortified about if he knew she had even thought that for a second.

But was it a good idea to get engaged when they lived in different countries, both worked most of the hours in the day and only occasionally managed to see each other at weekends? She didn't know, and the thought of making that decision now scared her.

She heard him shuffle and her heart pounded in her chest.

'You're here!' he said, his voice a little gruff and his eyes half shut.

'Ron, what's this?' she held out the box towards him and watched as his expression went from terror to disappointment and then to a forced calm.

'I mean I think I might know what it is but I haven't opened it yet.'

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He straightened his tie which he still hadn't taken off from dinner and stood up.

'I wanted it to be a surprise,' he said, the disappointment in his voice coming through.

He took the box off her and knelt on one knee in front of her. He opened the box and turned it towards her. Her breath caught at the ring inside. It was a thin gold band with a solitaire diamond and two smaller sapphires on either side.

'Hermione, I love you and I will love you forever and eternity. Would you do me the greatest honour, and say you'll marry me?'

Part of her was screaming 'yes' but the other half couldn't say a thing.

She took his hand and stood in front of him, he followed her and looked at her with a confused look on his face.

'Do you think we're ready for marriage?'

He smiled. 'I've been ready to marry you for years, Hermione.'

'But we live in different countries, Ron!'

'And that's why I'm doing this! I want to stop being apart from you! I miss you so much and we're... we're...'

He had taken a step back and was running a hand through his hair.

'We're what?' she asked in a whisper.

'We're drifting apart! We only owl every couple of weeks, we're lucky if we see each other every six months... I just... I don't know what's going to happen...'

'So you thought proposing would fix it all?' She tried to raise her voice above a whisper but she couldn't.

'I thought proposing would show you that I want this to work so badly and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you!' she knew he was frustrated and angry and he was struggling to keep his temper under control.

'Ron, believe me when I say I want to spend the rest of my life with you-.'

'So say yes!'

'But I don't think we're ready for this! When we're settled in our careers and when we know we can spend all day, every day together without driving each other mad then that's the time we can start thinking about marriage.'

He slumped down on to the edge of the bed, and Hermione looked at him as his shoulders slumped and as he scrubbed at his face with his hands.

'You're saying no!' His voice cracked and she felt tears burn her eyes.

She sat on the bed next to him and took his hand in hers.

'I'm not saying no! I'm saying some day in the future. I'll say it again, I love you, Ron and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I just think we need to _be_ a couple for longer before we have this huge... pressure and title to live up to! After everything we've been through I think we need to take the time to be _us_. Okay?'

He replied by falling back on the bed and closing his eyes. She crawled up the bed and pushed herself under his arm and draped herself over his body, trying to show him that everything would be all right.

'I love you,' she whispered into his chest.

She was relieved when his arm curled around her waist and stroked up and down her side.

'I love you, too.'

She closed her eyes and listened to Ron's heartbeat.

'Forever and eternity.'

She fell asleep before she heard his reply.

She woke up and for a few seconds didn't know where she was. She sat up and as her stomach squirmed she recalled everything that had happened the night before. She turned to her left, expecting to see Ron sprawled out on the bed next to her, but fear gripped her when she saw no trace of him. She looked around, looking for some sign that he had just popped out the room for something, but she couldn't see his robes, his backpack or the little box he had brought with him. There was no hastily scribbled note, no sign whatsoever of how things stood between them.

She looked around the room once more, apparently numb to everything she should be feeling. She unhooked her robes off the back off the door, pulled her shoes on and with one last look at a room she knew she'd never forget, and she left.

...oooOOOooo...

She flicked through to the end of the book and took out the rumpled piece of parchment that was neatly folded in two. She had read these words so many times but her heart still pounded every time she did as if it was the first.

_Hermione,_

_There's a launch party... signing... thing in Diagon Alley, Flourish and Blotts if you'll believe it! I want you to be there, none of this would have happened if you hadn't suggested it, and I miss you. Next Friday night, Harry says he can get you a portkey sorted if you need it._

_Really hope to see you there,_

_Love, Ron x_

She traced her finger along the ragged edge at the bottom of the parchment. She hadn't waited to think about anything other than the fact that nothing would stop her being there, tore off the parchment and scribbled her reply. She remembered what she wrote as if she had just put ink to parchment.

_Ron,_

_I wouldn't miss it for anything. See you next Friday._

_Love, Hermione x_

She smirked when the memory so recently uncovered came back to her again. She never found out from Ron his story of what had happened that evening and it didn't matter now, anyway. Maybe if she'd stayed things could have been different. She knew that it wasn't that decision that had taken her life on a different course than she expected, it was the decision she made in the French hotel room that had done that.

She replaced the parchment in the back of the book and walked through to her bedroom. She put the book in its rightful place on the bookcase and lay on her bed. She closed her eyes, trying not to torture herself with the memories that haunted her almost daily.

She heard the fireplace roar but because she was expecting Ginny sometime soon, didn't move or flinch.

'Hermione?'

Her eyes snapped open at hearing Ron's voice. She stopped herself jumping up and running out to greet him, she was still annoyed about what had happened at the Harpies' mid season ball, and part of her just couldn't be bothered with any more heartache that might occur through any conversation with him. She wasn't expecting him to knock on her door again, and before she had thought about what she would do, he had turned and walked back through to the lounge.

'That's the second time you've left without saying anything,' she said without raising her voice or without opening her eyes.

She heard footsteps and the door opening.

'I thought you were asleep.'

She opened her eyes and sat up.

'You could have woken me. It's hardly late.'

Ron leant against the doorframe.

'I've come to apologise, and yes, I should have done it before now, but maybe... Maybe I was avoiding it because I don't want to fight with you. I hate fighting with you.'

She smirked. 'Ron, we've been fighting since we met.'

He frowned and shook his head. 'We argued and bickered, that's what we did, but fighting's different. I hated it then and I hate it now. Anyway... I'm sorry you got upset the other night. I didn't mean to do that. I never mean to do that.'

Hermione frowned. 'So, you're not sorry about what you said, just that I got upset about it?'

Ron matched her expression. 'I'm not going to apologise for caring about you and wanting the best for you!' He pushed himself away from the doorframe and took a step into the bedroom.

'So, you're not going to apologise for telling me how to run my life when it's got nothing to do with you?'

'I wasn't telling you how to run your life!'

'You were telling me that the man I was talking to wasn't good enough for me! How is that you not telling me how to run my life!'

She thought she heard something in the lounge but didn't look. She presumed it was Ginny returning home. Ron didn't turn at the sound.

'I just-. He's not-.'

'You?'

The word hung between them and Ron slumped back against the doorframe.

'That's not...'

'No, I know it's not what you meant but it's what it looks like Ron. I told you that night, I _get_ that you're with Mattie but I don't get your behaviour. I made my choice and I have to live with that, you know how I feel about... well, that's neither here nor there... and I've stopped completing sentences so I'm going to accept your half arsed attempt at an apology and suggest you go home.'

'Hermione, don't be like that.'

'Like what, Ron? I don't know what you want me to say! You're sorry for upsetting me, fine, I accept that, but what else is there for me or for you to say?'

'It was Mattie's idea, you know,' he said with a smirk.

'What was?' she asked aggravated at the mention of Mattie's name and the random change in conversation.

'That we go to the party together. She said it would be nice for us to spend time together and catch up.'

'Oh, well, at least I now have one reason not to like her,' she had mumbled the sentence, but loud enough for Ron to hear.

'What's that supposed to mean?' He took a step towards her, obviously needing to defend Mattie. Hermione inwardly rolled her eyes.

'It means that I didn't have a legitimate reason to not like her, but now I do! If she hadn't suggested we go together we wouldn't be arguing!'

She knew it was childish but she didn't care. She just wanted this conversation over and done with.

'You're trying to find reasons to dislike her? Hermione, that's... ridiculously childish.'

'Yes, you're right, but until I find another way to deal with my bitterness and disappointment this will have to do.'

'So you don't like Mattie?'

'Merlin, Ron, why does it matter what I think?'

'Because it does!'

Part of her was happy that Ron obviously cared what she thought, and a part of her wished he didn't.

'How can I like her, Ron? I was naive, I admit. I thought I'd come back home and we could try again at what we failed at miserably, but Mattie did the sensible thing and caught you and grabbed on to you and isn't letting go. She's what I want to be and for that, I can't like her. Is that what you wanted to hear?'

She took the few steps towards the bedroom door and took the wood in her left hand. Ron didn't move back but turned to look at her. Movement caught her eye and her head whipped round to look through to the lounge. It was dark as she had extinguished all the light. Someone was taking the pot of Floo powder off the fireplace.

'No need to go, Gin, Ron was just leaving.'

'Home to me, I hope,' Hermione's heart raced as Mattie's voice reached her ears.

'Mattie?' Ron said, fear in his voice.

'Actually, I'll be at my flat, Ron, suddenly I don't feel like spending the night with you. I'll see you at the publishers tomorrow. The meeting starts at nine, sharp.'

'No! Mattie, wait!'

Hermione watched as Mattie threw the powder into the fireplace and disappeared in a rush of green flames.

'Shit!' Ron shouted as he hurried towards the fireplace.

'Just a word of advice, Ron,' Hermione said as he scrambled for some Floo Powder. He turned to look at her his hand poised with green powder in hand.

'Apologise better to Mattie than you did to me.'


	5. Redirection

So this chapter is 10,000 words long, so get comfy before you start reading. Oh, and if you don't like this story, are bored by it, don't like my characterisation or anything else about the way I write, stop reading. Life is way to short to read fanfiction you don't like. Seriously :)

If you're sticking around, just remember that you trust me, okay? Okay?

**Redirection**

'Hermione, the Minister wants to see you in his office.'

She had jumped at the voice because she was so immersed in the research she was doing for her assignment that she hadn't noticed her colleague, who looked very overworked, walk up to her desk.

'The... Minister?' she asked, trying to engage her brain in the conversation.

'For Magic,' her colleague said, a hint of humour in her voice.

Those words woke her brain up.

'Kings-... er, Minister Shacklebolt wants to see me?

'Apparently so.' She tucked her hair behind her ears and started walking away from Hermione's desk

'Oh. Right. Okay. Right.'

She blotted her quill and shuffled the parchment so it was in a neat pile. She stood and made sure her robes were straight. She left the office and called the lift. As she rode the lift to the top floor she started to feel nervous. As much as the Minister always made a point of greeting her when they met at the Ministry either in the office or the corridor and he had been more than happy to accept her back in to his workforce, he was still the Minister for Magic and the most senior boss she had.

The lift doors opened and she walked through the reception area. She smiled at Coop – Rosemary Cooper, PA to the Minister – who smiled back at her.

Instantly Hermione felt more relaxed. Harry had told her that if Coop was smiling, then the Minister was happy.

'You're to go straight in, Miss Granger, the Minister is expecting you.'

'Oh, okay. Thank you.'

Her smile went back to nervous and she knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside. She shut the door behind her before turning with the same nervous smile and walked towards the Minister's desk and, of course, the Minister.

'Good afternoon, Miss Granger. I trust you are settled in now?'

Kingsley gestured towards the chair and Hermione answered his question with a nod as she pulled out the chair and sat down.

'Yes, thank you, everyone's been very helpful.'

'Good. As much as I was proud that you were working in the French Ministry as a representative of us over there, I'm rather happy you've come back to us.'

Hermione could feel herself blushing but she smiled and tried to keep eye contact with her most senior boss without looking away too often.

'Thank you,' she replied quietly.

'Now, I've heard on the grapevine that you are seriously considering the possibility of completing all your junior assignments ahead of time and applying for an assistant's post earlier than normal.'

Hermione frowned. _The grapevine?_ She had only told one person and she didn't think Ron would shout any detail about her professional life around his or her office.

'I... er... I only told one person that it had crossed my mind. I hadn't made any decision or even worked out if I could do it-.'

Kingsley raised his hand and she stopped talking. He smirked.

'Ron simply asked if it would be possible for something like the scenario you had thought about to happen. I told him that it has happened but not for a couple of decades or so. There may be a few raised eyebrows but I try to make it our philosophy that it doesn't matter who or what can do any job here, as long as they do it as well as they should. Should you wish to look at these,' he opened a drawer Hermione couldn't see and pulled out a stack of parchment a couple of inches thick, 'then you are more than welcome to take them away with you today.'

She opened her mouth to speak but found she didn't know what to say.

'Before you protest this will be seen as favouritism, well, maybe it will by some, but they will have me to answer to if they step out of line.'

'It will be seen that way, though, won't it? I mean, I'm a good friend of Harry's and people will talk that I'm getting special treatment because of that.'

Kingsley nodded slowly and leaned back in his chair.

'Hermione, I can't sit here and argue that rules weren't bent to let Harry, Ron and Neville join the Auror programme when none of them had the correct qualifications, but I wanted them here because they had shown that they had the strength of character, the willingness to learn, the want to do well in what they do and, more importantly, their fight for what they believe in. If you had wanted to join them, you would be with them at work, now.'

Hermione's stomach squirmed, she had thought about what taking that specific decision would have done to her life path and hated that it could have led her to her happily ever after. Then again, her sanity may not have survived the Auror programme.

'However, considering the Head of the Department of Magical Law wanted you to work for her so badly that she was devastated when the French Ministry asked you to work in Paris, there will be no word of favouritism around here. It was she who got the assignments for you within five minutes of me mentioning this whole thing to her. She thinks it's a brilliant idea and she's looking forward to see how it works out.'

'No pressure then!' she said with a small smile. Kingsley laughed out loud. 'Christine really didn't want me to go to France?'

'She knew that for your career it was the perfect opportunity to stretch yourself but she'd been keeping an eye on you through your final year and when your N.E.W.T results came in your name was on the enrolment forms before you knew anything about it.'

Hermione took a deep breath and felt her face go red.

'She was one of the reasons I wanted to get into Magical Law. When all the rebuilding of everything was going on she was so driven and determined to make sure justice was served and to get laws passed that were fair.'

Kingsley nodded. 'She's a remarkable woman and has been my friend for many years. When I became Minister quite a few people stopped being able to tell me what they thought because they were scared of the position I held, but you can rest assured that if I start abusing my power she will take her foot to my arse faster than I can blink.'

Hermione laughed out loud. 'Well, not wishing to sound like I'm sucking up to the Minister for Magic, but I don't think that will ever happen.'

Kingsley shuffled the pile of assignments into a neat pile and handed them to Hermione. 'Let's hope you're right, Hermione.'

She took the papers and stood up. Kingsley followed her to the door.

'Thank you again for these, Minister.'

'You're welcome and good luck.'

...oooOOOooo...

She knew she should have gone home at half five like the rest of her colleagues but the new assignments had drawn her in and she was researching the first one well after hours. It was ten to nine and she was hungry, well she had been hungry but she had passed the stage where it was bothering her. Harry had stuck his head around the door when he hadn't seen her pass the Auror office on her way home and had rolled his eyes when she gave half-hearted excuses to his pleas for her to leave her work and go home.

He had told her that he would drop some dinner off at Ginny's flat if she promised to be home before midnight. She had thanked him and smiled at him and when she promised him she would be home before midnight he left with a chuckle and a wave.

At nine o'clock she decided she had put off eating for long enough and packed up her things into her bag. She left the assignments locked in her desk drawer so she would have some sort of 'down time' when she got home. Well, as much as her brain would allow her. She knew she would catch herself thinking about her work at numerous times during the evening, but she was used to this and after a couple of years of work she managed to learn how to relax her mind despite the invasion of work thoughts.

The lanterns dimmed automatically as she walked out of the office and made her way along the corridor. She automatically turned her head to the right and looked through the windows to the Auror department. She was a little shocked to see one lantern lit in the place where she knew Ron's desk was.

She hadn't forgotten her annoyance at Ron's interference with her work, regardless of the fact that she had dived headfirst into her new assignments. She was adamant that it should have been her decision to ask the question and test the water, not Ron's.

Irritated but determined not to fight with him any more she walked through the office and stopped a few metres from his desk. He looked up and then got back to his writing. He held out his hand to acknowledge her presence but let her know he was in the middle of something.

She leant against one of the boards with parchment pinned to it haphazardously and waited for him to finish. He stabbed his parchment and threw his quill down.

'Pinning down a thought before it got away?' she asked with a smirk.

He gave her a half smile. 'Yeah, actually. I have to admit it's nothing to do with work, I got... inspired about...' he checked the clock on the wall, 'Merlin, about three hours ago.'

He shuffled the parchment on his desk and Hermione smiled as he piled his muse inspired writing together.

'I tried for years to get you enthused in writing and when you finally get into it I'm never here to see it happen.'

He smiled and blotted his quill before putting it in his drawer. Hermione frowned momentarily as she thought she recognised the quill he was putting away. She thought it looked like the one she had bought him when the publisher had finally agreed to publish Ron's book.

Despite the want and apparent need for a tale about Harry Potter's year on the run, people were sceptical that Ron Weasley could write what they wanted. Hermione knew they would want every one of his words when they had read the first chapter and when everyone had signed all the dotted lines necessary, Hermione had bought him a quill with _Right Hand Man, by Ronald Weasley_ inscribed up the feather. She knew it was foolish to presume he still used it, but she was damn sure she had just seen it.

'So... is it still the fiction that's capturing your imagination? Or something else?'

He nodded. 'Still the fiction. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I think it's the worst thing ever written, but I thought that during _Right Hand Man_ so I don't take my opinion too seriously.'

She tilted her head to the side. 'If I remember rightly, you judged what you wrote on whether it was truthful or not. I know it's different with fiction, because it's just that, but... if you keep your characters true to what you intended them to be then you can't go wrong. If you're making them something they're not then you know you need to change something.'

He looked at her and she tried not to get drawn into his eyes.

'How come you always know just what to say?'

She was taken unaware by her shiver and she didn't know why she had. She mentally cursed herself for reacting to his words. She shrugged and cleared her throat.

'How are things with Mattie?'

She needed to break the tension and steer the conversation to safer waters. Well, safer in some ways.

'Fine, thanks.'

She raised her eyebrows but Ron didn't take the conversation any further.

'Right. Good, well, I'd best be off. Harry promised he'd drop some dinner off at Ginny's and I'm rather hungry.

'Harry's... making you dinner?'

'He said he would if I promised to be home before midnight.'

'How come you're still here?'

'Oh, you know me and work.'

'You haven't...'

'I haven't... what?'

Ron shook his head.

'Nothing. Doesn't matter.'

'Haven't spoken to Kingsley today? Haven't been given all the assignments that would normally take me a few years to complete? Haven't had my ex-boyfriend take the decision that should have been mine to make?'

She hadn't raised her voice but her tone was clear.

'You're... angry with me for just mentioning something in passing to Kingsley?'

'Ron, I wasn't even sure if I was going to ask Kingsley or Christine about any of this. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons before taking such a huge task on.'

He frowned. 'What wrong reasons could there be?'

She was about to say something but bit back her retort. She smirked and shook her head.

'Nothing, Ron. Nothing. Have a good evening.'

She turned and walked out of the office. All too soon she heard footsteps behind her.

'Why is it that every time I try and do something to help you, you turn it around and I become the villain?' She stopped walking and her head dropped with a sigh. 'And tell me what you were going to say then, before you stopped yourself.'

She slowly turned to face him.

'To answer your first question, I repeat: it wasn't your decision to make and considering you're so adamant that you've moved on and are happy, you seem to be taking a hell of a lot of interest in my life and the way I'm choosing to live it. You decided that trying to get ahead in my career was good for me so you made sure Kingsley heard about it. And to say what I should have said in there but didn't want to argue with you,' she took a deep breath and sighed, really, _really_ not wanting to argue with him _again_, 'I had to make sure and promise myself that I wasn't replacing the part of my life that's missing with assignments and excess work. Life's too short to live to work, Ron, we both know that, but at the minute, that's what I'm about to do: fill the gap in my life with paperwork.'

She looked at him and he stared at her. Before he had chance to reply or she had chance to say something else she may regret at a later date she turned and walked away from him. He didn't follow her, and ten minutes later she was curled up on the sofa, reading her book and eating the dinner Harry had left her. For that minute, she couldn't be happier.

...oooOOOooo...

'Oh, please, no, don't make me go. _Pleeeeeeeeaaaase_ Harry!'

Harry sniggered.

'Why are you whining so much? It's not that bad an evening! There's free alcohol... well, you get your first drink for free, the rest they make you pay for...' Hermione snorted. 'And Neville says Hannah's giving us the back room of the 'Sticks for afterwards. We only really have to show our face for the speeches and a bit of networking before we can all bugger off and relax!'

'But I don't want to gooooo-oooooo!'

Her head met her desk and she heard Harry chuckle. She lifted her head to glare at him.

'Well if there was ever any doubt that you were an only child it disappeared just then!'

Despite her determination to continue to glare at him, she had to giggle.

'It may be true doing that to my dad on specific occasions got me out of things I didn't want to do.'

'Well, thankfully I'm not your dad, and am immune to such antics. You're going and you're going to have fun! If nothing else you can get drunk and chances are no one'll notice because the High and Mighty will also be rat-arsed.'

'Are you really trying to sell this evening to me on the fact that if I make a total arse of myself, chances are it won't damage my career?'

Harry thought for a second. 'Yeah, pretty much.'

She threw herself back in her chair and let her head drop against the top of the cushioned furniture.

'But it's not even for this department! It's for the High and Mighty as you call them in the Auror office to pat themselves on the back and congratulate themselves on not letting any future Voldemorts raise terror in the past year!'

'True, but senior members of the Magical Law Department are going-'

'Of which I am not!'

'And Christine wants you to be there. She told Kingsley to invite you and Kingsley told me to make sure you were there.'

She sighed, finally beaten.

'_Fine!_ But only because you played the 'I'm only here on a higher authority' card.'

'Excellent!'

'And you're buying my drinks all evening.'

Harry laughed. 'No problem.'

'And you're not to leave me alone with any random Auror people who I don't know.'

'Promise.'

'Cross you heart?'

'And hope to die. Well, I'd try, my success rate at that isn't brilliant. Then again, might be third time lucky!'

She laughed and sat up in her chair.

'When is it? Sometime next week, yes?'

Harry stared at her, she thought he looked concerned for a second.

'Er, Hermione, it's tonight.'

She smirked. 'Very funny Harry. Tell me when it is.'

'No. Really. It's tonight. I'll pick you up from Ginny's at seven. Don't eat before hand, there's also free food as well as your one free drink. Ginny says you can borrow anything in her wardrobe if you're stuck and she suggests you pin half your hair up and leave the rest down. Or... something else that I shouldn't have understood as well as I did.'

She would have laughed had she not been in shock.

'But it's Thursday! It's not even the weekend yet!'

'They put it on a school night in the vain attempt to stop us getting drunk and not turning in tomorrow morning.'

'Right. And this tactic works, does it?'

'Not at all. But we have a supplier of Hangover Cure in the office that gets it cheap and passes the discount on to us.'

Hermione blinked. 'So not only will half the Auror department be worse for wear in the morning, but you have what boils down to a drug dealer in the department.'

Harry nodded. 'I think that sums it up quite well. Now, go home. You have precisely...' He pulled up his sleeve and consulted his watch. 'Two hours and three minutes to get ready. At least for once I know you'll not be in here until midnight when you should be relaxing.'

'Yes, I can see _exactly_ how tonight is going to be relaxing for me.'

Images of what happened the last time she was at a function at which Ron was present ran through her mind.

'Go, Hermione!'

She glared at him. 'Only for you, Potter. Only for you.'

...oooOOOooo...

_Well,_ she thought, _things could be worse._

She had managed to blend in to the crowd quite successfully, despite being escorted by Harry Potter. She had managed to talk to one of her colleagues for the thirty seconds that Mattie and Ron spoke to Harry, and when she next looked she saw them working their way through the crowd to the bar. She knew that at some point during the evening she would have to speak to them, but if she could keep postponing it there was a chance the opportunity may never come round. She rolled her eyes at herself for being childish, but she found she didn't really care a great deal.

She checked her watch, she had been here an hour and a half and by the looks of the High and Mighty (as her brain kept calling the higher members of the Auror Department) there were about to be the speeches that were the sole purpose of this evening. Sure enough, two minutes later Kingsley's low, smooth voice erupted over the crowd. His introduction was short and to the point before he handed over to the Head of the Auror Department.

Darius Piening shook Kingsley's hand and then proceeded to talk for fifteen minutes solid. Even Hermione's built in need to absorb all information given by a speaker was tested and failed her with three minutes to go. She thought Harry was doing very well in looking interested until she looked at him closely and noticed he was blinking far fewer times than she thought normal. His eyes were definitely glazed and the half smile on his face was definitely fixed.

Sure enough, when she nudged him he did jump a little and blinked more in five seconds than he had in the previous five minutes. She snorted which thankfully was drowned out by the outbreak of rapturous applause from all around her. She joined in and beamed to show her support for whatever had just been said.

'Right, I reckon we can go. Give me five minutes to say goodbye to Kingsley, find Ron and tell everyone we're good to go.'

She was a bit ashamed to find herself thinking of any excuse to go on ahead and avoid having to see Ron again. She _hated_ the fact that she was finding ways to avoid him but considering their last few conversations had ended in harsh or uncomfortable words she took some comfort in the fact that it was an act of self-preservation of sorts.

'Why don't I go on and warn Hannah everyone's coming back now so we don't all turn up at once and ambush her?'

Harry raised his eyebrows.

'She _does_ know we're coming.'

'I know, but it's nice to give her some warning.'

Harry tilted his head to the side as if trying to read her mind. Finally he nodded.

'Okay, you go on and tell Hannah we're about to descend and I'll spread the word that we can all leave.'

She nodded and left the function room at the Ministry. She called the lift and waited patiently for it to rattle its way up to her. As she stepped in and the doors closed behind her she thought she heard someone call her name but the lift started moving. When she reached the Atrium she threw Floo Powder into the nearest fireplace and arrived in a rush of flames into The Three Broomsticks.

She made her way through the room and caught Hannah's eye as she walked back behind the bar.

Hannah grinned at her and mouthed 'one minute'. Hermione smiled and eventually got a space at the bar. A couple of minutes later Hannah tapped her on the shoulder.

'Am I right in thinking your lot are about to descend?'

Hermione turned round and smiled at Hannah.

'You are entirely correct. I was sent as an early warning. I reckon you've got about three minutes until the masses descend.'

'Well, I've got the world's dodgiest music system ready to either work perfectly or explode and the bar's stocked. I'll get Frederica behind this bar when she's out the loo and then I'll come and serve you lot.'

'Thanks for doing all this, Hannah. It must be an inconvenience, not to mention you're letting us drink you dry for free!'

Hannah laughed. 'Well, both me and Neville wouldn't have it any other way. I know he's left the Auror Department but it gave him purpose when he needed it and for that he's forever grateful. Hence the free alcohol. However, I want my pub in this state when you're done so I have no problem cutting anyone off who's had too much!'

'Sounds very sensible.'

A series of pops and cracks sounded outside the pub and Hannah glanced at Hermione.

'Best get in the back.'

'Do you need any help?' Hermione asked, following Hannah through to the back bar.

Hannah turned round to look at her as she walked and frowned at Hermione.

'Hermione, why are you trying to avoid having fun? I'm the one working, you're the one who is supposed to be enjoying yourself with your friends and work colleagues. What's going on?'

Hermione smiled but looked at the floor. 'Life got...-'

'Hey Hannah!' Ron said from behind Hermione. 'We're in the back, yeah?'

Hannah beamed at Ron. 'Yeah, make yourselves comfortable, I'll be ready to get you very drunk in a minute.'

'Excellent!' Ron replied with a grin.

He walked past them and pulled Mattie by the hand after him. Hermione's stomach clenched as she watched the scene unfold. Mattie turned around and smirked at her before turning and putting a possessive hand on Ron's shoulder.

'...complicated.'

'Did she just _smirk_ at you?' Hannah asked, turning to face Hermione and stepping in so there was less chance of them being overheard. A few more people walked past them into the back room and said a few hellos to Hannah before moving on.

'I believe she did, yes.'

'But... _why_?'

Hermione chuckled. 'Maybe she just likes to remind me who has Ron on her arm.'

Hannah raised her eyebrows. 'Well, if she carries on like that it won't be her that's got Ron on her arm for long.'

'Yeah... maybe...'

Hermione appreciated the comments from Hannah but they did little to lighten her mood. All she wanted to do was go home, but if she did that all she would do was sit and wallow and that wasn't healthy. She decided she would stay at the pub and make the most of the evening.

After half an hour she'd wish she had gone home.

She wasn't exactly sure who's idea the round of shots was but it didn't take a great deal of persuasion to take the shot glass from Harry as he handed them out. All she knew was that the contents were blue and they were probably going to burn her throat raw. But she didn't care, because after two more smirks from Mattie she just _couldn't_ care anymore.

'To old friends and new, and to getting drunk on a school night!' Ron said as he raised his glass to the centre of the circle. She smiled and watched as Ron downed the contents of his glass. He shut his eyes and grimaced and she smiled as she tipped the liquid into her mouth. She was right about one thing, the liquor burned her mouth and she swallowed it despite her overwhelming desire to spit it out.

Stars filled her vision and she had to blink a few times before they disappeared.

''Kin 'ell!' Harry exclaimed as he shook his head, obviously trying to clear the stars he could also see.

Ron laughed but coughed at the same time, his lungs protesting at being made to inhale the fumes of whatever he had just consumed. Hermione looked round the circle and her eyes fell on Mattie. She had one arm across her chest and the other was holding her empty glass to her lips. The frown and glare directed at Hermione was definitely hostile, not that Hermione was surprised.

She stared right back but when Mattie's lip started to curl into yet another smirk, Hermione rolled her eyes, picked up her other drink off the table behind her, turned on her heal and walked through the crowd to the furthest possible point from Ron and Mattie. Unfortunately, it also took her from the majority of people she knew in the room. Neville was wandering around somewhere but she didn't want to talk to Neville about her problems, not because she had issue with him knowing but because she didn't want to put a downer on his evening.

She slumped on the bench that ran around the edge of the room and leant forward onto the table. She picked up one of the beer mats and started turning it between her fingers. After thinking about her situation for five minutes she realised that she was doing exactly what she would be doing at home, and considering she was supposed to be avoiding doing that she was getting irritated with both herself, and the entire situation.

While she was staring intently at the beer mat in her hands someone sat down heavily next to her.

She turned to look and she smirked when she saw Ron sitting next to her, a frown on his face.

'I've asked Mattie to stop smirking at you and I've told her I'm asking you to be civil with her like I've already asked her.'

Hermione couldn't help but snort. 'And what did Matilda say to that?' she asked before taking a drink from her glass.

'She said she would play nice if you would.'

'Considering I've been nothing but civil to her I find that a little insulting.'

'Hermione, she heard you say you didn't like her!'

'And because she knows the _exact_ context that was said in she should understand I wasn't having a go at her character but the entire situation! She's too intelligent to not be able to make that distinction!'

Ron let his head fall back against the wall and shut his eyes with a sigh.

'Merlin, give me strength!' He opened his eyes and turned to face Hermione, a determined look set on his face. 'Look, Hermione, we used to be best friends and if I have anything to do with it then that fact will be true for years to come. I can't live with my best friend and my girlfriend fighting, I just can't...'

Hermione stood and looked down at Ron.

'Shouldn't your girlfriend be your best friend, Ron? Life would be a lot simpler if she was, don't you think?'

She picked up her drink and downed it before pushing through the crowd. Deciding the bathroom was her safest haven she quickly made her way there and sighed deeply when she shut the door to one of the cubicles behind her. She slumped down the door and let her head fall backwards against the wood.

She wanted go home and be away from all _this_, but the stubborn part of her brain was telling her she had every right to be there and that she shouldn't let Mattie ruin her evening. For the minute her stubborn streak won but as a compromise she stayed where she was.

She heard the door to the bathroom open and prayed they would leave as soon as possible.

'Hermione Granger, stop hiding in the bathroom.'

She couldn't help but smile at Ginny's voice but she was confused as to why she wasn't in Wales.

'I could be using the bathroom for legitimate reasons you know!' she replied, not moving.

'I pray to Merlin you're not because your arse is on the floor which means you're doing it very, very wrong.'

Hermione snorted and got to her feet. She opened the door to find Ginny in her tightest jeans and a glittery top with one eyebrow raised.

'Admit you were hiding.'

Hermione leant against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

'I was merely giving myself a break from the chaos out there.'

'So... hiding then.'

Hermione raised her eyebrows and ignored Ginny's statement.

'How come you're here? Shouldn't you be failing to get to sleep before a mammoth training session tomorrow like every other Thursday night?'

'Lovely to see you, too oh best friend of mine, you look beautiful, too, Hermione, no need to thank me for borrowing my dress, and yes, thank you, I did have a good midweek match yesterday. I topped my highest score in a match and got player of the match for the third week in a row and because the team played brilliantly we have the weekend off and I thought I'd come and see how my best friend is faring at an evening out she could probably do without instead of going home and letting the small fracture in my wrist heal without risk of making it worse!'

Ginny gasped for air at the end of her mini-monologue.

Hermione closed her eyes and stood up properly. She opened her eyes and held her hand out to Ginny who thankfully took it and saw it as a peace offering.

'I'm sorry, Gin. Thank you for letting me have free reign of your wardrobe and congratulations on the excellent performance yesterday, you deserve the title and I'm sorry I forgot about your midweek match. I'm also very jealous that you've managed to make that ridiculously small wrist support look like it's part of your outfit, your ingenious knows no bounds.'

She smiled and was pleased to see Ginny do the same.

'Thank yous and apologies accepted.'

'How did you fracture your wrist?'

Ginny shrugged and started rubbing the support with her other hand. 'Not entirely sure. Could have been when I intercepted some fast throws or when I got barged by another player. It's not serious, it's already healed I've just been advised to rest it over the weekend. I'll be back training hard on Monday.'

Hermione nodded and smiled.

'So...' Ginny started as she leant back against the sinks. 'I hear there was a case of, er... mistaken identity last week.'

Hermione sighed knowing exactly what Ginny was talking about.

'What did Ron say to you?'

'It wasn't Ron that told me, Mattie came to see me.'

Hermione didn't try and hide her look of outrage.

'She interrupted your working week with her personal issues?' Hermione said, her voice rising as she finished her sentence and her indignation building with every word.

Ginny held her hand up as if to buffer Hermione's words. 'She left a message to check it was okay that she visit and I replied telling her when I was free. She was pretty upset, Hermione. She wouldn't have come otherwise. If it had been you I would have done the same. Actually I wouldn't,' Hermione's stomach clenched, 'I'd've apparated home as soon as possible.'

Hermione smiled and nodded, not trusting herself to put a sentence together properly.

'She told me what had happened and I reckon after talking it through with her I got what _actually_ happened and tried to be the voice of reason. I tried to tell her that it wasn't _her_ that you didn't like just... everything else. I tried to convince her that you didn't come back home for Ron, even though I don't believe that for one second and don't even start protesting, your reasons for being here are not the point of this conversation, so I thought she left me calmer and less pissed off, but I'm guessing something else has happened because she, for the thirty seconds I talked to her in there, as well as being a little worse for wear due to alcohol consumption, she seems highly strung.'

'You mean she stopped trying to glare and smirk at me long enough to hold a conversation? Wow! Impressive!'

Ginny ignored Hermione's jibe.

'Do you know what's happened?'

Hermione frowned. 'Honestly I'm not sure. I've not seen Mattie since that night and I've only seen Ron to talk to properly once. That was to do with... Unless she's annoyed with him for...'

She thought for a second, wondering if Mattie had found out about and therefore had issue with Ron's _interference_ with Hermione's career.

'I swear if you don't finish the next sentence you start I will shout loudly.'

'Sorry! Didn't mean to...' Ginny raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something before Hermione interrupted her with a laugh. 'I'm joking. Ron took it upon himself to mention something I had been thinking about regarding work to Kingsley.'

'That assignment thing you mentioned weeks ago?' Ginny asked.

Hermione nodded. 'Christine - my boss - thinks it's an excellent idea and insisted I give it a try.'

Ginny grinned. 'Hermione that's brilliant!'

Hermione couldn't help but smile but it slipped when she thought of Mattie.

'For me, yes. But maybe to Mattie it means Ron did me a favour, or that I feel I owe him so I'll be around him more, or maybe she thinks he did it for reasons bigger than friendship... I don't know.'

'Sounds possible. I'll speak to her and try to talk her off the edge.'

Ginny sounded fed up at the prospect and Hermione felt her guilt about the whole situation build up again.

'I'm so sorry, Gin. This isn't your mess to sort out.'

Ginny waved away Hermione's words. 'I could get out if I wanted to but I don't. I'd rather do this than watch all this explode from the sidelines.'

Hermione smiled. 'You're a brilliant friend, Gin.'

She held her arms out and Ginny walked forwards into the hug.

'I know! Just remember that when my birthday comes around!'

They pulled apart laughing.

'Will d-.'

The door banged open and Mattie stalked in. Hermione could almost see the sarcastic comments trying to form in her head. Not wanting to stand around and wait to be insulted she turned to Ginny.

'I'll see you later, Gin.'

Ginny nodded and gave a small smile. Hermione walked past Mattie and was almost out the door before Mattie spoke.

'What? Leaving before you can find another reason to call me a bitch?'

Anger flooded through her, not only because Mattie was deliberately trying to provoke her, but because what Mattie had said was inaccurate. She hated things being wrong, especially when they were things being said about her and this was something she was determined to correct. The sensible part of her brain was telling her to carry on walking. She ignored it.

She turned and glared at Mattie.

'Matilda, if you're going to accuse me of something at least do it accurately. I have not ever called you a bitch, I said I didn't like you. Believe me, if I ever do call you a bitch I will remember that vividly for years to come. Keep behaving like this and it will happen sooner rather than later.'

She left Mattie staring at her open mouthed and walked through the now smaller crowd towards the main bar. She wanted to storm out but she didn't want to give Mattie that satisfaction. She wanted to scream and shout but she didn't want to cause a scene. She wanted to do something that would get rid of all the anger and frustration surging through her but she just couldn't see a way to do so.

She was near the main doors to the pub and found herself spinning around trying to decide what she was going to do.

'Woah, Hermione stop spinning! You'll make me fall over and I don't know if I can get back up in these heels!'

Of all the people she expected to see with their hand on her shoulder, Lavender Brown was way down on her list of probable candidates.

'Oh! Hi Lavender! Sorry, I just... Never mind. How are you? I haven't seen you in ages.'

'I'm fine, thank you, but you're clearly not. What's wrong?'

Hermione smiled, but really didn't want to go into details about her love life with someone else. Then again, maybe Lavender was the exact person she should talk to. She was detached from the situation and would definitely tell Hermione her opinion.

'Oh, nothing much. My ex-boyfriend seems intent on running my life despite being oh so very happy with his new girlfriend and said new girlfriend is determined to glare or smirk at me at every opportunity! All I want to do is have an uneventful evening where everyone is civil, but apparently that's not allowed!'

She had raised her voice more than she intended and a couple of people around her had turned to see what the disruption was. Lavender raised her eyebrows.

'Come with me.'

It was a demand, not a request and a second later her grip was vice like on Hermione's arm and she was being pulled through the pub to the other set of toilets. Hermione wondered if all of her meaningful conversations of the evening were going to take place in bathrooms but kept the thought to herself.

She watched as Lavender charmed the door behind them, she presumed it was a silenced and locked and when it glowed green for a second, knew it had been charmed to make people decide to use the other bathroom instead of this one. She hoped no one was desperate to the point of not being able to walk.

'Right! Spill!' Lavender said as she hopped up onto the polished wooden bench the three sinks were set in. Hermione was impressed at how much elegance Lavender had managed the manoeuvre but didn't try to copy. She just leant backwards against the wall.

'You don't have to listen to my pathetic stories, Lavender. You must have better ways to spend your evening.'

'Hermione, I only came out half an hour ago as it's barely ten o'clock, I'm still waiting for three of my friends to arrive before I can start drinking in earnest and the creepy guy with bleached blond tips who was intent on staring at me constantly was starting to irritate me, believe me when I say, I don't mind hearing about your drama!'

Hermione couldn't help but smile. 'I'd hardly call it drama. Just...' She didn't know how to finish that sentence.

'Just a jealous girlfriend driving the ex-girlfriend crazy and the boyfriend stuck in between floundering around.'

Hermione thought for a second and then laughed out loud. It was something of a relief to have someone sum up the situation with a comical mental image so she could laugh instead of cry.

She controlled her laughter. 'Yeah, something like that. I'm guessing you've met Matilda?'

Lavender thought for a second. 'Once to talk to. I literally bumped into her in Diagon Alley and Ron introduced us. We talked small talk for a minute before we went our separate ways. She seemed... nice. A little plain but nice enough.'

'Oh my! Lavender, if you're calling her plain, I've got no hope!'

Lavender chuckled. 'Hermione, believe me when I say you have never been plain.'

Hermione didn't know whether that was an out and out compliment or not, so she just smiled and waited for Lavender to continue.

'So, just to clarify, you've been in France for four years and now you're back. Did you come back for Ron?'

'No! I didn't! I came back because I wanted to come _home_.'

Lavender tilted her head to the side and stared at Hermione.

'Of course you did,' she said slowly, obviously not believing a word of Hermione's previous sentence. Hermione opened her mouth to protest but Lavender held her hand up to top her.

'Did you know Ron was seeing someone before you came back?'

Hermione stared at the floor. 'No.' She replied reluctantly.

'And the official line on why your relationship ended was because you drifted apart. Is that true?'

'Wait... _official line_?'

'Printed in Witch Weekly the week after you broke up, yes.'

'But I never-'

'Never heard a word of the gossip because you were safely tucked away in the French Ministry. With Ron not telling anyone any details they may have tried to insinuate various situations which could have arose, but it became apparent that none of those were true.'

Hermione was reeling from the information overload.

'What...? When...? _What?_ When did our relationship become gossip material?'

Lavender rolled her eyes as if she was having to explain something ridiculously easy.

'Darling, relationships are never worthy of Witch Weekly's column inches, however, _break ups_ are. Especially when they are occurring between the hottest new writer to emerge this decade and Harry Potter's two best friends!'

For a second Hermione's heart soared at Lavender mentioning Ron's status as a published author before his friendship with Harry but then her indignation at the general mindset of gossip magazines to print people's misery for everyone to read took over. She frowned.

'So, am I right? Was it simply that you drifted apart? Or was there something else?'

Hermione sighed. 'No, nothing else. It wasn't quite as simple as 'we drifted apart' but essentially, yes, that's what happened.'

'Okay, I'm all caught up. Now fill me in on what had you spinning around out there.'

Again, Hermione sighed. 'Let's just say that for at least two reasons Mattie is annoyed with me and possibly Ron as well. She has spent the most part of this evening glaring and smirking at me and she just accused me of calling her a bitch, which I have never done. I just happened to say I didn't like her which she overheard.'

'So, no cat fights, no hair pulling, no slanging matches, just the occasional cross word.'

'Just the occasional cross word, yes.'

'And here's me thinking I'm going to get a blow-by-blow account of an epic cat fight. Ah well. So, you want Ron back and you have to get this Mattie out the way.'

Hermione chuckled. 'I told you, Lavender, I didn't come home for Ron. He's with Mattie and has made his choice. I will be civil to the girl as long as she is civil to me, but...'

'But...'

Hermione shook her head.

'But... nothing.'

'Well, clearly, you're lying to yourself about wanting him back because it's plain as day that you still love him. Yes, you say you came back because you wanted to come home but I'll bet every knut I possess that the picture that formed in your head when you thought of home had Ron in it.'

Hermione dropped her gaze and once again stared at the floor.

'I'm right aren't I?'

Hermione shrugged in response.

'I'm taking that as a yes, so that makes my advice very easy. Fight for him, Hermione.'

Hermione raised her head and, although at the minute smirking was her least favourite facial expression, she felt her face pull into one.

'He's made his choice, Lavender, he knows how I feel. Nothing I can say will make him change his mind.'

Lavender jumped off the bench and stepped towards Hermione.

'Then do something that will _make_ him change his mind. I've been the other girl in the way of the Ron, Hermione love story. It isn't easy because eventually you realise that you just aren't supposed to be there. It's no one's fault, it just _is_ because that's the way it's supposed to be. Fight for that. You're an intelligent girl, Hermione and you know him better than anyone. Use what you know to get you what you want.'

Hermione watched as Lavender took out her wand and removed the charms.

'If you ever want to talk again, come and find me. I'll always listen. But remember, you only get one chance at all this stuff. We all know life is not a dress rehearsal.'

It was only then that Hermione noticed the three long scars that followed Lavenders jaw down her face and to her neck. She could only nod as Lavender smiled at her and opened the door.

'Thank you,' she said weekly as Lavender walked away from her and as Lavender responded with a wave without looking back Hermione was as conflicted as ever.

She wanted to do what Lavender said and do everything possible to get Ron to love her like she loved him. But how could she be that person when all Mattie ever did was fall in love with Ron after Hermione had rejected him. Not that she saw the whole thing that way, but that's what it boiled down to. She could hardly blame him for running to someone who cared for him and loved him.

She sighed, finally deciding she should go home with her thoughts and her dignity. At least she still had that.

'All I ask is that you're civil to her!'

The harsh words made her flinch and shrink away from the person to her left. Her head whipped around and she saw Ron with anger rolling off him.

'And as I said to you earlier,' she replied, her jaw set and her tone ice cold, 'when she starts being civil to me, I'll start being civil to her!'

'Why can't you be the bigger person here?' Ron replied, his hands pulling through his hair.

'Why do _I_ have to be that person? She has nothing to be jealous of, nothing to fear from me yet for some reason I'm the one in the wrong! It's not me you should be speaking to, Ron!' She saw Mattie stalk up behind Ron and she sighed. 'As I said, I'm not the one who needs talking to, and if you keep talking to me, you're going to get in trouble.'

She turned before either Ron could reply or Mattie could smirk at her yet again. She decided her evening was over and before it could get any worse, she made her way through to the back room and found her jacket and her bag. She tried to find Ginny in the crowd which had grown since she had last been in the room. Her glance around didn't spot long red hair or the mess of black that belonged to Harry so she walked out the room and then out of the pub.

Without thinking she started to walk along the street. Apparition was far from her mind, mainly because Ron and her situation was filling it but also because she knew her concentration wasn't good enough for apparition at the minute.

She had walked all of twenty metres before she heard footsteps behind her. When they came up behind her quickly she turned out of habit to protect herself. When she saw Ron slowing down to speak to her she turned around and picked up her face.

'God, Ron! Leave me alone!' She shouted.

'Did you cast a spell on me?'

The question made her stop walking and turn to glare at him.

'_What?_'

'Did you hex me so that you would know when I was happy so you could come back home and ruin everything? What do you want from me? I proposed to you and you said no! So I did the healthy thing and moved on, why haven't you?'

'Because I should have said yes!' He stopped as if her words had been a physical barrier between them. 'I was young and I was scared and if I had know that asking you to wait a few years meant losing you forever then I would have said yes with no hesitation. I miss you, Ron. I miss you and I want you and I _need_ you.'

Without thinking about what she was doing she stepped in to him and looked at him. He was looking down at her and she got lost in his eyes. She knew that she only had this opportunity to show him exactly how she felt.

'I love you, always will.'

She took the step that closed the space between them and placed her hands on either side of his face. Before her nerve lost her or he had the chance to pull away she reached up and kissed him. She wanted to press herself into him and for him to wrap his arms around her and kiss her like he did all those years ago. But she didn't and he didn't so she stepped back.

She raised her eyes to him once more, scared as about seeing anger in his eyes. But there was no anger just a look that Hermione hadn't seen for a long time. Before she could process what was happening he stepped towards her and pulled her to him. His lips came down to hers and she gasped into his mouth. Their tongues fought and their hands roamed. She couldn't believe what was happening. This was all she had wanted since she came home. Of _course_ she came home for Ron and she came home for this.

They broke apart, panting and staring at each other.

'Just say that... you still love me.'

She stared at him, willing him to say the words. He took half a step back.

'I need to go and find Mattie.'

She knew she should take those words as discouragement or as a reason to not get her hopes up, but she didn't care anymore. She would hope with all her heart that the kiss was the start of something more.

Ron hurried back to the pub and Hermione just stood staring at his back.

She made herself move and found her legs carrying her back to the pub. She needed to talk to someone but didn't want to speak to anyone. She stopped and turned on the spot, a second later appearing in front of the rock she found so much peace at.

She perched on the edge of the rock and let the memory of Ron kissing her run through her mind. She told herself that if she had nothing else, then at least she had that, but the thought that that was the last time she would kiss Ron brought tears to her eyes quicker than she thought possible.

The wind was cold on her bare arms and she pulled on her jacket. It dawned on her that when she was with Ron she hadn't felt cold at all.

Fifteen minutes later she apparated back to Hogsmeade. She found herself in the exact spot where Ron had left her. Smirking at the cruelty of her subconscious mind she walked forwards.

'Don't you dare let him walk out of your life after that.'

She jumped and reached inside her jacket for her wand.

'Just me!' Lavender said as she emerged from the shadows of an alleyway to her right.

'Merlin, Lavender, you scared me!'

'Good! Maybe the extra adrenaline will wake you up to the fact that you can't let Ron leave after he kissed you like you were the only thing he needs to live.'

Hermione didn't say anything. 'Surely the decision's up to him.'

'Bollocks to that! Hermione! What is it going to take to make you find him and make him yours?'

'I just...'

'Go and find him, before you regret making the wrong decision for the second time in your life.'

Hermione stared at Lavender, not knowing if she really did know exactly what went on in their relationship or not. Either way, what she was saying was true.

She nodded and turned before her nerve left her. She heard Lavender say 'that's my girl,' and she couldn't help but smile.

She started jogging as best as she could in the shoes she was wearing. She reached the doors to the pub and had a quick glance through the main bar before pushing her way through to the back bar.

She found Harry and pushed through the crowd to speak to him. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned and looked at her with a smile.

'Hi! I haven't seen you since we got here!'

'I know. Have you seen Ron?'

Harry thought for a second. 'Um, yeah he left a while ago with Mattie but they looked a bit… stressed.'

Hermione nodded. Before her nerve could leave her she walked out of the pub. On her way through she thought she saw a flash of long red hair but when she looked properly it had disappeared.

She turned on the spot and appeared outside the building Ron and Harry's flat was in. She walked up to the door and because the wards surrounding the building recognised her she could open the door. She walked up the stairs, her nerves building with each step. She turned to face their front door and hesitated as she lifted her hand to knock. She closed her eyes and let the memory of the kiss overwhelm her. _That_ was why she was here, to see if she could have all that again.

She knocked sharply on the door and after a couple of seconds she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The door swung open and Mattie stood before her, tear tracks down her face with confusion in her eyes.

'Oh Mattie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-.'

'Ron proposed to me.'

Hermione stared at her and watched as Mattie lifted her left hand up. Hermione looked at the ring on her finger and shock filled her every cell. She knew she should say something, anything to try and show that she wasn't as affected by those words as she was but her brain refused to give her any direction.

It was Mattie's smile that brought her back to herself and it was then that she saw Ron appear in her line of sight. He glanced up at her but looked away quickly.

'Congratulations. Both of you. Really. I'll… leave you alone.'

She took a step back and then turned and hurried down the stairs. She knew what she was doing but she didn't know how long she could stay in control of herself.

As soon as she was out the main door she apparated home. She stood for a second before her knees gave way and she landed in a heap on the floor.

'It's over,' she whispered to herself. A tear escaped her eye and then another and another. Her breath hitched in her throat and then she was sobbing, mourning what she could once have said yes to but now could never have. She hugged her knees to her chest and didn't try and keep quiet or calm herself down. Some part of her wanted all this to happen now so it would be gone tomorrow. She knew that was ridiculous, but maybe crying her eyes out now would help somewhat.

She didn't know how long she sat there, huddled in front of the fireplace, but it was only green flames erupting in front of her that made her move. She watched as if detached for herself as Ginny hurried forwards and knelt next to her on the floor.

'Hermione, what's wrong? Are you hurt?'

She wanted to tell Ginny she was hurt and it would never stop hurting, but that would be silly and unfair to panic Ginny.

She shook her head.

'R…Ron's… proposed t-to… Mattie.'

She had yet to look Ginny in the eye, and she didn't try to now.

'He… he proposed to her? After-…'

A sob caught in Hermione's throat and Ginny pulled her into her side.

'Hey, come on, calm down or you'll make yourself sick.'

She let her head fall on her friend's shoulder. For a few minutes all she did was concentrate on breathing slowly and trying to suppress her sobs.

'It should have been me and I threw it all away.'

She felt Ginny start stroking her hair.

'It's easy to look back and build up this perfect picture of what you think should have been.'

'_We had a future_,' she said, her voice suddenly strong as she spoke the words she had memorised years ago, _'and that was pretty scary. Not because I didn't know what I wanted but because I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted the girl next to me to be there for everything I had to do. I wanted her to be the person I went to for everything I ever needed to talk about. I wanted her to kiss me like she had when I'd mentioned saving House Elves and I wanted to tell her I loved her_.'

To her surprise Ginny got up quickly and left her exactly where she was. Hermione didn't look to see where she had gone. A minute later she returned and sat down where she was before. She pushed Hermione's most battered copy of _Right Hand Man_ into her hands.

'Hermione, for whatever reason, life didn't turn out the way you expected. I know you're hurting but you have to pick yourself up form this and carry on. So here's what you're going to do, you're going to light a fire and throw this on it, you're going to watch it burn and let all the hurt evaporate with it, and then… then you're going to sit here and cry on my shoulder for as long as you want okay?'

It was testament to how much she needed to do _something_ that the idea of burning a book didn't disgust her. If this was the physical act that would help her move on, then so be it.

She nodded and pulled her wand from her jacket. A few waves of it had a roaring fire in the fireplace. She looked down at the battered and well-thumbed copy of the book and watched as her tears landed on the front cover. She took a deep breath and threw it on the flames. For a few seconds nothing happened, and then the edges of the pages succumbed to the flames. She watched as they blackened and curled and as the ashes started to rise up the chimney she willed herself to let go of the dream she had had when she returned all those weeks ago.

She slumped back into a sitting position and Ginny wrapped her arms around her.

'It'll be okay, Hermione. It really will. I promise.'

For the time being she clung onto those words as if they were her only hope.

* * *

Please let me know what you think.


	6. Decision

**Decision**

She knew exactly how many days had passed since Ron had proposed to Mattie, because each one had dragged like she had never known before. It was the twenty-first day since that night but she felt like it should be six months since.

In those three weeks she had managed not to speak to Ron at all. She was avoiding him, of course she was, she had plenty of things that she could say to him but knew she shouldn't and it would just cause her pain if she did.

She knew she would have to talk to him again at some point, especially since he and Mattie had decided they wanted to get married _right away_. Right away meant an early autumn wedding, which meant Hermione would more than likely spend her birthday miserable. Or angry. Or both.

Once again, for the third time that week, she was still in the office at half past eight. She was working, so on some level she was happy. In the seven weeks she'd had the assignments, she'd handed two in, therefore completing the current year's work. She was well on the way to finishing the next one, but was determined not to rush too much. Her need for perfection hadn't been left behind in France, despite the hastiness of her leaving.

'You're avoiding me.'

She jumped at Ron's words and made a mental note to look into putting wards on the doors to the office when she was in on her own.

'Correct,' she replied not looking up from her work.

'Why?'

'Because I'll say something I shouldn't.' Still she didn't look up from her work. She heard a desk creak as Ron sat on it.

'Like what?'

'Just because you're standing in front of me doesn't mean I can't avoid you.' She was sure he growled at her response.

'Why are you being like this?'

This made her stop writing and stare at him.

'Honestly, Ron, if you don't know the answer to that question, then you need to leave this office before I get angry.'

'At least if you get angry I'll be getting something from you!'

She tried to keep her anger and frustration under control, but she had been doing that for three weeks with no way to vent all the pent up energy, and she found herself not caring about what she might say.

'Okay,' she said, slamming her parchment down on the desk. 'You want something from me? How about me voicing my opinion that you only proposed to her to break my heart. I've considered the other thousand ways you could have done it but that really is the best, I'll give you that. How about I tell you not to marry her! How's that? Or why don't I tell you that I don't believe for a second that you felt nothing when we kissed. My entire universe shifted back into focus when you kissed me and everything was as it should be. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't feel something!'

Her words had shocked him, that much was obvious from his expression, but he recovered himself soon enough.

'I didn't propose to her to break your heart. I proposed to her because I'm in love with her, Hermione. I'm sorry.'

He turned and walked out of the office, leaving Hermione staring at the empty doorway. She smirked and picked up her parchment and quill.

'So am I, Ron. So am I.'

...oooOOOooo...

She loved the long days. Even though the prolonged sunshine gave her brain more of an excuse to obsess over the whole situation with Ron, she could at least escape by walking and drinking in the last of the rays before they disappeared for the night. She was sure that this whole situation would be unbearable if she had darkness surrounding her for most of the day.

She apparated to the other place she could come to every time she needed to think about everything or nothing. She was glad to see there was no one else at the Garden of Remembrance which was situated inside the Hogwarts grounds. It was a special area behind the castle which had its own protection and wards. It was the only place in the grounds that you could apparate into and out of and you could wander around freely within the boundaries, but if you tried to cross the wards then you would suddenly forget all intention of trying to do so. If it happened frequently, someone from the school would be alerted and come and see what the problem was.

It seemed fitting to have a memorial in the grounds but obviously it had to be made open at all times. Thankfully a solution was found. She walked through the flower covered arch at the front of the garden and breathed deeply as she crossed the threshold. Her eyes were drawn to the white marble wall that ran the length of the garden. It had the name of everyone who died fighting for good engraved on it and flowers scattered at the bottom.

She looked around and her eyes found the most familiar headstones in the garden. It was decided that if the families of those who had died wanted it, then their loved ones could be buried here. A surprising number of families accepted and the garden was resized to accommodate and, as she walked through the gleaming white headstones, she smiled.

It was her determination to smile every time she came here, despite the memories that the place held. She walked through to the third row from the front and turned left along the row. She knelt in front of one headstone and lightly kissed the top twice.

'He doesn't know I'm here, but I'll let him know I said hello, for him. He's running Harry ragged and loving every second of it. I think Harry's bringing him up this weekend to see you, I'll speak to you both soon.'

Her eyes lingered on the name Remus and then the name Nymphadora and she stood with a smile. She carried on walking along the row and stopped three headstones down. She sat cross legged in front of it and pulled her wand out of her pocket. She twirled it and seven flowers appeared, three orange, three purple and one white. She bound them with some long grass that was growing up beside the headstone and propped the flowers up.

'Don't take the mickey, Fred, you know I only come to see you when I'm in desperate need of some advice. There's not really anyone else I can ask, you see. Everyone's stuck in the middle and it's not fair. It's not their fault I made the wrong decision all those years ago.

'See, all I need is someone to tell me that there's no hope whatsoever and to move on... or whether there's a flicker of hope buried somewhere beneath all the confusion and anger. I know it's wrong that I know people would have to be upset to make my dreams come true, but I... I can't help that. I just... don't know.

'All I need is a sign, Fred. Something that will help my brain cope with all this... _bollocks_ that's going on! See, it's even got me swearing, it's that bizarre.'

She stopped to take a breath. She leant back on her hands and shut her eyes. A warm breeze whipped her hair around her head and she opened her eyes, a little startled. A bright green leaf caught her eye as it floated down from the tree to the left of her and she watched as it got caught in the breeze and swirled around Fred's headstone. It was blown onto the front of the headstone and seemed to cling onto the inscription of Weasley before dropping onto one of the orange flowers below it.

Hermione couldn't help but smile.

'Thanks, Fred, that's all I needed.'

...oooOOOooo...

A week later saw her back at the school, but for a completely different reason than the last.

For two different reasons, herself, Harry and Ron hadn't been able to attend the memorial service the previous May. A couple of days before, she had succumbed to the 'flu and could barely lift her head off the pillow on the morning of the second. She had sent messages to Professor McGonagall and Harry the day before saying that she would try her hardest to get to Hogwarts, but when she didn't wake up until one the following afternoon, she didn't even have the energy to be upset that she had missed the ceremony.

Harry and Ron ended up not going to the ceremony because there was an anonymous threat sent to the Auror office that an act of terror was going to be inflicted at the ceremony. It had arrived at Midnight the night before and every Auror had been called in to the office and worked through the night to determine the level of the threat and try and work out where it had come from.

Harry and Ron were at Hogwarts – it was decided that the ceremony would go ahead – but they were patrolling the castle and looking out for anything out of the ordinary.

Nothing did happen and it was decided that the 'threat' had been sent purely to disturb the Ministry and possibly cause chaos on something of a sacred day for the Wizarding World. In the turmoil that followed, it had been forgotten that Ron, Harry and Hermione had been asked to be present for a meeting with Professor McGonagall. It had taken them a couple of months to get a meeting rescheduled but today was that day.

She apparated to the main gates and beamed when she saw Hagrid waiting for her, to let her in.

'All righ' Hermione?'

'I'm great, thanks Hagrid? How are you?'

He tapped the chains around the gates with his pink umbrella and they withdrew along the bars. The gates opened enough for Hermione to walk through. As soon as she had crossed the threshold of the grounds, the gates closed and the chains slid back into place.

Hagrid pulled her into a bone crushing hug and she grinned against his coat.

'Ah, can' complain, can' complain.'

He let go of her and she staggered forward a little when he patted her on the back.

'So yer back fer good then?'

Hermione smiled and increased her pace to keep up with Hagrid as he strode towards the school.

'Yeah, back for good. I was happy in France it just wasn't… home. I missed… everyone, everything and wanted it all back.'

'Well, I know there'r quite a few people happier now yer 'ome. They'd never've asked you to come 'ome, but they're glad that you have.'

Hermione nodded, not really wanting Hagrid to confirm or rubbish her claims that Ron wanted her to come home by listing the 'quite a few' people he had mentioned. She mentally sighed at herself; this had to stop. Ron had removed himself from her future and she had to deal with that.

They carried on chatting as they walked towards the castle. Hermione asked about Grawp, Hogwarts and finally the memorial service that she had missed and that had been disturbed by empty threats.

'It were strange with you three not there. I know you wer'ill and Harry an' Ron were watching the castle but it felt wrong an' I kept looking over t'where you normally sit an' felt… sad… I jus' kept thinking that that's what could've 'appened… you know…'

Hermione reached up and patted him on the arm as best as she could while they were both still walking.

'Stupid I know.'

'Don't you dare say it's stupid!' she said, a little shocked at how harsh her words left her. 'I know it's five years since it all happened but… parts of it still haunt me, and when I'm least expecting it, as well. I can be carrying on as normal and going about my day like I would every other, and then something small and more than likely very insignificant will set off a thought which will turn into a memory and before I know it I'm sitting down on the floor trying to catch my breath and begging myself not to burst into tears.'

Hagrid had stopped walking and was starring at her.

'It hasn't happened for a good few months now, but still. You're not stupid for thinking about how things could have gone. We… we went through a lot. Everyone did.'

Hagrid sniffed loudly and before she knew it he had pulled into an enormous hug that left her fighting for breath and turning pink.

'Sorry,' he mumbled when he let her go and she swayed for a second.

She smiled at him and they carried on up to the castle. She mentally chastised herself for leaving it so long between visits and promised herself that it wouldn't be another year and a couple of months until she came back.

'E-... excuse me, Miss... Miss Granger?'

Hermione was brought back from her thoughts by a timid voice behind her. She turned and saw a dark haired girl with a Ravenclaw tie, carrying three heavy books in her arms.

The girl blushed under Hermione's quizzical smile.

'Yes...'

'Um... I was just wondering... well... you see I sit at a desk which I think is yours... in Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration classroom.'

'Oh! Really?'

'Yeah... would you-... would you mind if I showed you something? Only if you're not busy. Which you probably are, you work for the Ministry, of course you're busy. Never mind, it doesn't matter. Sorry to have bothered you.'

The girl blushed again and went to turn around.

'Wait... what's your name?'

'Clarissa. Clarissa Harrison.'

'Well, I'm early for my meeting with Professor McGonagall, so I can come with you for a few minutes, if you want.'

'Really?' Hermione had to smile at the grin that had just appeared on the young girl's face. 'You don't mind?'

'I don't mind; you have me intrigued.'

They walked through the castle to the Transfiguration classroom. When Hermione stepped across the threshold she felt such a complete sense of calm. This was what she had known, this was where she had been her happiest and this was where she realised it was okay to be herself. She took a second to look around and she had to smile when she realised nothing had changed. Granted the stonework was still looking new around the door compared to the rest of the walls, but considering that part was only five years old, it wasn't surprising.

Her eyes landed on Clarissa and where she had sat down. Hermione smiled wider when she realised she did indeed sit at Hermione's old desk.

'Am I right thinking this is your old desk?'

Hermione nodded and perched herself on the desk next to Clarissa's.

'Yes, I sat there for six years.'

'Not Sev-? Oh, sorry, I didn't think.'

'Don't apologise. When I came back to do my seventh year I sat...' She stood and wandered three rows back and one desk to the left, 'here.' She pulled out the chair and sat down.

'Why did you change?' Clarissa asked, a half smile on her lips.

'Two reasons. Firstly, as much as my education was still important to me, I no longer felt the need to sit myself at the front of each class. After the year we'd had it... put things into perspective, somehow, and I wanted to enjoy my last year here. That meant relaxing a little and that meant moving a few rows back. The other reason was that this used to be... Ron's desk. I'd sit here and try and think about what Ron would be saying or doing. He was my invisible sounding board against my over thinking. I just felt calmer sitting here. Plus it made me smile that he'd graffitied a good portion of it.'

'I take it he scrawled more on his desk than you did on yours?'

Hermione raised her eyebrows. 'You saw mine then?'

Clarissa grinned. 'It's what I wanted to show you and ask you about.'

Hermione stood and walked back to the desk next to Clarissa.

'Go on.'

'Well, I just... you were so sure that you were going to be together, you wouldn't have written that if you weren't.'

Hermione blinked. 'Hang on, how long did it take you to work out the anagram?'

Clarissa shrugged. 'Couple of weeks. Once I'd seen it and kept seeing it every other day I couldn't ignore it, I wanted to work out what it meant. The rest of the scribbles on here are initials and love hearts and declarations of love. This was different and obviously had something hidden in it.'

'A couple of weeks? Well you are a Ravenclaw I suppose.'

'I do anagrams in my spare time so... well anyway.'

Hermione smiled. 'I'll not admit how long it took me to come up with it, but I was pretty proud of myself when I did. It seems petty, wanting to scratch at a desk to leave your mark on something. But... halfway through our sixth year, I just had an inkling that I should try and take in everything about this place, just in case something... overwhelming happened. I'd seen, like you have, the previous scratches and marks on the desk but I wanted to be a bit more subtle and there was quite a big part of me that was scared I'd be told off for defacing school property.' Clarissa giggled. 'So instead of scratching a heart and placing mine and Ron's initials in it, I came up with the anagram.'

'A meanwhile serene joy. Hermione Jean Weasley.'

Hermione nodded, a resigned smile on her face. 'I was determined. At the end of sixth year, after Dumbledore had died and after we'd told Harry we were following him to wherever he needed to go, I came back in here and scratched that into the wood. Because that's what dreams of a future had been in a way, a joy that I could hope for, and something to distract me when I needed it. I scratched that into the wood determined that when it was all over I would make that true. Or at least, do everything I could to make it so. It probably sounds silly-'

'It doesn't sound silly at all. I can't imagine what it must have been like. Any of it! The feeling that something was going to happen, leaving everything you knew to do the most terrifying thing imaginable, being on the run for a year and then coming back here when it was the most dangerous thing for you to do. I just... I think it's all amazing.'

'Amazing is definitely one way to put it.'

Clarissa rummaged in her book filled bag and pulled out a book Hermione recognised with only the smallest glimpse at the cover.

'I read it every couple of months. My friends think I'm strange reading the same book over and over, and a few of them think it's too much like schoolwork to read it, but... it's filled with hope and sometimes that's all I need. Sometimes I wish my life were interesting enough to write a book about, but it won't be. And even if someone did, no one would read it.'

Hermione took the book from Clarissa and put it on the desk behind her out of Clarissa's line of sight.

'Your life and what happens in it, should never be judged on others' opinions of it. It's _your_ life, no one else's. Someone only wrote about a year of my life because I decided I had to help Harry do what he was destined to do. If I hadn't tried to help Nev- er... Mister Longbottom find his escaped toad, then I would never have spoken to Harry and Ron on our first trip to Hogwarts. If I'd not had the need to show the world I was as good as Pure-Blood wizards and witches, then I wouldn't have annoyed Harry and Ron no end, and if that had never happened then we would never have become the friends that we were. Three decisions took my life from what is perceived as 'normal' to something people wanted to read about. And you know what? My life is back to normal, no one cares about what I'm doing now, and I'm pretty happy that it's this way.'

'I care about what you're doing now,' Clarissa replied quietly, blushing slightly and staring at her hands in her lap. Hermione smiled. 'You're Hermione Granger. You're amazing! You got the highest mark ever in the DADA N.E.W.T! You went to the French Ministry straight from school because they _invited you!_ You... someone wrote the most beautiful words about you. If someone wrote things like that about me...'

Hermione looked at the floor, determined not to let her mind wander into the past yet again.

'Clarissa, you are brilliant. I've been talking to you for only ten minutes and I can see that. But don't ever judge yourself on what other people think or tell you, you are. As far as we know, we only get one chance at this, fill your life with things that make you happy and try your best to avoid those things that make you sad. Of all the things my Dad has said to me, that's one thing that I have never forgotten. There will be times when you will do things that people will find extraordinary for whatever reason, but the important thing is to try and do things that are extraordinary to you. And you know what? There's nothing stopping you writing your own book. Fill it with surprise and challenge and achievement and happiness and whatever you want, but make sure it's filled with you, okay?'

Clarissa blinked and looked a little bit overwhelmed. Hermione rolled her eyes at herself for talking so much to a twelve year old girl. Clarissa nodded frantically.

'I will. I'll try.'

'That's the most important thing.' Hermione looked at her watch and realised she was about to be late for her meeting. 'I have to go. I hope I haven't bored you with irrelevant tales.'

Clarissa shook her head frantically. 'No! No! I loved hearing them. Would... would you mind if I wrote... wrote to you occasionally. Not a lot, of course, I know you're busy. No, it doesn't matt-'

'Of course you can. Any time, okay?'

Clarissa blushed again and Hermione turned and opened the door of the classroom. 'Don't be late for class, Clarissa, nobody will believe you if you blame me!'

She knocked on the door and a brisk 'come in!' answered her. She opened the door and smiled when she saw Professor McGonagall marking essays. She shut the door behind her and McGonagall looked up.

'Ah, Hermione, please sit down.'

'Thank you, Professor.'

'Hermione, I've told you, I am no longer your professor.'

Hermione smiled as she settled herself in the chair. 'Sorry. Are Harry and Ron here yet?'

McGonagall straightened the pile of essays and piled them on top of another large stack of parchment.

'They are on their way up. Hagrid sent word a few minutes ago.'

'Oh, good.'

'How is it back at the Ministry? I hope you've settled in, fine.'

Hermione nodded. 'Yeah, everyone made me feel very welcome especially Christine and Kingsley.'

'Ah yes, I spoke to Christine recently. She is thrilled to have you back and is delighted that you have taken the initiative and tried to progress your career.'

Hermione exhaled through her nose and McGonagall raised her eyebrows.

'Sadly, I must let Ron take the credit for that. He mentioned it to Kingsley.'

'And in doing so, surely only did what you would have done later?'

It was a question and reluctantly she had to agree. She nodded her head.

'I suppose.'

A knock on the door made her jump even though she should have expected it.

'Come in!'

The door opened and she heard Ron and Harry shuffle into the office. Harry sat down on the chair next to Hermione. She had to wonder whether or not it was for her sake or for convenience, either way it made her slightly more comfortable, with him in between her and Ron.

'Right, considering the three of you are supposed to be at work, I'll get down to business.'

'Kingsley said we didn't have to rush back.'

McGonagall tried to cover her smile.

'Trying to skive off work, Weasley?' she asked.

'Always!' Ron replied with a grin. McGonagall chuckled.

'Well, at least you're being honest about it. Now, to business. The Parent Governors and Teachers have decided they want to commemorate the end of the war in a way which involves the students more. I'm not talking about ceremonies or anything like that, they want to offer three awards to each year group. The first will be awarded to the student with the highest grades across all subjects, the second will be awarded to the student who has shown the greatest amount of courage either in one specific act or over the year and the third will be awarded to the student who has demonstrated selflessness, again either in one specific circumstance or throughout the whole year.'

Hermione's eyebrows had raised, she had an inkling that something was bothering Professor McGonagall.

'I think it is obvious where the inspiration for the three awards has come from,' Hermione watched as McGonagall took a second to look from her to Harry and then to Ron, 'and as such the Governors wish to name each award after one of you three.'

Harry instantly took a deep breath to argue, she thought she saw Ron's leg twitch and she closed her eyes.

'Before you say anything, Potter, let me continue. I think that the awards are a good idea, because as much as you three hate to hear it, you acted in ways you never should have had to and you did it with honour, courage, intelligence and bravery I have never seen. However, I predicted that you would be uncomfortable with the idea of the awards being named after you, so I have requested that they be named after Dumbledore. His portrait agrees with me that you would not like the idea of the awards taking your names and he is willing to spare you that uncomfortable scenario by having his name on them. I put this to the Governors and they insist that I put both ideas to you and you take the final decision. Do you need time to consider your answers?'

'No,' the three of them replied simultaneously.

'I think I can speak for Ron and Hermione when I say that we would prefer Dumbledore's name be attached to the awards,' Harry said in a bit of a rush.

Hermione sat up a little higher in her chair. 'We don't in any way want to seem ungrateful, Professor. I'm flattered, and I'm sure Harry and Ron are, that they want to show their appreciation in this way and for that we are thankful. But, like you said, we would be uncomfortable with them being in our name. Maybe when we're dead, but until then...'

She smiled when McGonagall laughed at her final words. She heard Harry chuckle.

'With Potter's record we could be waiting a while for that!' Ron snorted and Harry dropped his head but grinned. 'I shall let everyone know what your decision is. I should also mention that we would like your input when it comes to choosing the winners of the awards, but I will contact you in due time.'

Hermione nodded her head and for a second she thought Harry was going to say something, but he didn't.

'Well, considering the three of you aren't in any hurry to get back to work, you're welcome to stay here for as long as you wish. Just don't get into trouble or I will put you in detention.'

'We'll behave, Professor.'

It had been too long since she had felt this relaxed. The breeze on the top of the Astronomy Tower was pleasantly warm and everything around her was calm. She looked out over the grounds and took in the sight of the Forrest, Hagrid's Hut and his garden, the lake with the odd ripple along the surface, the memorial garden and finally the Quidditch Pitch. She frowned when she saw a red-haired person slowly walk out across the grounds and enter the pitch.

She took a deep breath and decided now was the time to set things right, both with herself and with Ron.

'Do you need another kiss on the cheek for good luck?'

He jumped and turned to look at her. When his look of shock had disappeared, he frowned.

'What are you doing, Hermione?' he asked quietly.

'Just pretending we were still at school and nothing's changed.' She took a deep breath and looked at him. 'Do you know there's a second year here who wishes she had something like our story? She wants her life to be so interesting that someone would one day write about it.'

'I didn't know, but I can believe it, I suppose, in some weird way. From the outside looking in it's fascinating, but people forget how hard it was. Even through the good times. It's a good story, one that took place a long time ago.'

'I didn't come here to relive memories, Ron, I came to tell you that for me to move on, I need to set you free. It's written through history as the thing to do, and it's the right thing for me, now. If I have to hide the way I really feel and bury something that can't be seen anymore, to be a good friend to you, then that's what I have to do.

'I love you, Ron, for longer than I have ever admitted and it's gonna be the hardest thing I ever do to let go of you. But if that's what you want, and that's what will make you happy, then I'll do it with no hesitation. Be happy, Ron, I want that with all my heart.'

She looked at him and though he looked startled at her words. She smiled and still felt the calmness she had found at the top of the Astronomy Tower. As she turned around to walk back through the grounds to Hogsmeade, she thought Ron was about to say something, but she didn't turn to see what it was, just kept putting one foot in front of the other, because that was what she needed to do. She owed it to herself to keep on walking.

Away from Ron Weasley and to a new life she didn't as yet know.


	7. Confrontation

Okay, firstly, don't get used to updates this quickly. I had nearly finished this chapter so came to check the story on here and realised I hadn't actually updated Chapter 6, hence the ridiculous wait for that chapter and the quick update to this one. Apologies for that.

Secondly I just want to answer a comment made quite a while ago saying that I have, for want of a better word, 'stereotypically' given Ron a girlfriend who is a bitch. Well, I have to disagree. Don't get me wring the girl can be as bitcy as anyone and has shown that quite a lot throughout the story but underneath it all she isn't a bitch. You may think that they are one and the same, being bitchy means you are a bitch, but I don't agree at all. You can be a perfectly reasonable person most of the time but if you have insecurities or worries or issues that are played upon or brought to the surface then you can become a very different person. Like I said, to me, they are two very different things and I have Mattie down as someone with insecurities who doesn't know how to deal. Whether you agree with me or not is your choice.

Anyway, onto the chapter, please let me know what you think. This chapter had me stressing for a while until I took the wrong flu medication one night and was bouncing off the walls due to the caffiene in my system, but it ultimately helped me get through a particularly hard bit. I also have to say that where in the past I have disclaimed about not owning the plot of this as I am adapting it from One Tree Hill, in some cases in this chapter I stole some of the words as well. Only towards the end, mind, but still, if you recognise it I don't own it. It's not a lot but I had to mention it.

Again, please let me know what you think. Ta.

**Confrontation**

'You know, I'm going to start getting offended when you're working late when I am waiting at home for you!'

Hermione frowned and then laughed at the indignant look on Ginny's face. After a second Ginny grinned. Hermione threw her quill down on to her pile of parchment and stretched her arms above her head.

'In my defence, you're going out tonight so would only be at home for half an hour before flitting off for a night of eating too much, probably drinking too much and then more... stuff with Harry which I will ask you don't go into details about, tomorrow.'

Ginny raised her eyebrows. 'I'll have you know I am a professional athlete and would never abuse my body in such ways!'

Hermione snorted and then quickly covered her mouth, surprised at how loud the noise that escaped her was.

'Gin, it's the last weekend off you have until the season finishes, and two of your last four games are against the teams who are snapping at your heels in the league table, therefore you won't be touching a drop of alcohol until after the last game of the season, and so tonight you are going to make the most of being free while you can. You forget that you do this every year and that for the past two years of you doing this you have drunkenly phoned me at three the following morning telling me how much you love me.'

'Well, you can be certain I won't be doing that this year!' Ginny exclaimed, trying to look annoyed. 'Anyway, do you know where Harry and Ron are? We checked the Auror office and they're not there.'

The 'we' registered with Hermione and her eyes flickered to the doorway and saw Mattie standing outside, her arms folded across her chest looking like she would rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment than outside Hermione's office.

'I haven't seen them all afternoon but that's nothing unusual. I haven't had any need to go into their office and they haven't come in here so... sorry, no.'

Ginny shrugged and nodded her head. 'Okay, well I'll-'

There was a small shriek from the doorway and then shouts and many, heavy footsteps thundered up the corridor. Mattie ran backwards into the office away from the commotion.

'What the hell?' Ginny said to the room before taking a few steps towards the door.

Hermione stood and gazed in confusion through the windows to the corridor. She walked out from around her desk and hurried to the door. As she reached the doorway four more people rushed down the corridor and a terrified looking woman followed them.

'Lucy!' Hermione said as the dark haired assistant fell into the wall, her eyes frantic. Hermione knew Lucy had only just started in the Department of Magical Law, having left Hogwarts a few weeks ago and could see she had never experienced Aurors running full pelt through the corridors. She had never experienced it in this Ministry, but it had happened a few times during her time in Paris. She knew how unnerving it was and until she knew what was going on she wouldn't be calm.

'Hermione! They just started running! What's going on?'

'Hey, calm down, there'll be some kind of emergency and they'll need to be somewhere quickly. Is there anyone else in your office?'

Lucy shook her head. 'N…no, I had one last piece of paperwork to finish and I was the last one there.'

'Okay, well if you want to go and get it and stay in here with me then-.'

A low pitched siren started up and Hermione felt the ground vibrate under her feet. A red line appeared at the top of the doorway in front of her and she watched as it quickly moved towards the floor. She grabbed Lucy's arm and pulled her into the office before she was buffeted into the corridor.

'Well, I suppose we're staying here for a while.'

'What?' shrieked Mattie from behind her. 'What just happened?'

'The security wards just covered the whole building. Whatever room, office or toilet you're in, you're staying in until they're lifted.'

'So we're stuck here?' Mattie shrieked again. 'Why? Why would they do that?'

'Generally, when the _security_ wards come down, it's because there's a _security_ issue.'

Hermione hoped her tone had conveyed that Mattie was asking a rather silly question.

'What type of security issue?'

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Lucy.

'Did you hear anything before you came in here? Any snippets of conversations? Shouted words?'

Hermione put her hand on Lucy's shoulder to try and calm her down.

'Um, I think… I think I heard… heard the words… D-Death Eater… but surely… surely not!'

Hermione suppressed the shudder that threatened to fill every cell of her body.

'Probably copycat people trying to ride the coat tails of a memory that hasn't faded yet. Don't panic. They have to check everything out and they have to be overly cautious, hence the wards and the lock down. Chances are we won't be stuck here long we just have to sit it out. We're not going to find out anything by worrying.'

'It might be the reason why Harry and Ron weren't in their office, though,' Ginny said quietly.

Hermione shrugged and started walking back to her desk, suddenly hungry and thankful that she had a stash of chocolate bars and bags of crisps in one of her desk drawers.

'So, we're stuck until they sort out what's going on?' Lucy said, her voice a little firmer now that she was safe inside a warded room.

'Yep!' Hermione replied as she landed in her chair.

'Stuck is not good.'

Hermione didn't look up at Mattie, she knew that ignoring her probably wasn't going to be an option for the entire time they were in the office, but she would try and do it for as long as possible.

'Well, we are stuck,' Lucy replied as she walked over to Hermione's desk and perched on the edge.

'Stop saying that word! I'm claustrophobic! I can't cope with small spaces!' Hermione managed not to roll her eyes.

'But we're not in a small space!' Lucy replied slowly. Hermione smiled and picked up the piece of parchment she had been working on before Ginny had arrived.

'We can't get OUT! _Therefore_ it's an enclosed SPACE!'

Hermione glared at Mattie.

'Don't shout at her!'

Mattie turned and glared at Hermione. She opened her mouth to say something. Hermione raised her eyebrows as a sort of warning. Mattie turned and stormed to the door. She raised her hands and banged on the glass looking out onto the corridor.

'Well, I think I can say with some certainty the next hour is going to be pretty uncomfortable, wouldn't you agree, Lucy?'

Lucy snorted and walked to the nearest desk to Hermione's. She dragged the chair from behind it and set it in front of Hermione's desk. Hermione looked up at Ginny who was looking at her with a frown on her face. She turned and walked over to Mattie and started talking to her quietly.

'Are you okay?' Hermione asked Lucy.

Lucy nodded. 'Yeah, it was just a bit shocking seeing all those big professional crime fighters look terrified as they ran through the place. Just brought back… memories… you know?'

Hermione nodded. 'Believe me, I know.'

Lucy nodded and leant back in her chair. 'Do you need any help with anything? I may as well be useful while I'm here.'

'Is filing to tedious for you? I was going to leave it until next week but if you don't mind…'

Lucy shrugged. 'It can't be any more tedious than not doing anything. What am I filing?'

Hermione talked Lucy through the stack of parchment she'd had to put on the floor for fear of it falling off her desk and making a difficult job impossible. There was cross referencing to do of case notes and index cards to update as she filed. Thankfully Lucy caught on to the system quickly and took to the task enthusiastically.

A few minutes later Ginny walked over to Hermione's desk.

'Do you have something sugary? Some chocolate or something? I think it's best Mattie gets some sugar inside her before she passes out.'

Hermione knew she was being childish when her first reaction was to deny Mattie some of her chocolate, but as Ginny's eyebrow started to rise slowly she turned and tapped her desk drawer with her wand. It sprung open and she took one of her two bars of Honeyduke's dark chocolate out and handed it to Ginny.

'Thank you,' Ginny said without a smile.

Hermione looked at her stash of unhealthy snack food and decided she would try and wait as long as possible before she started eating.

'If I pretend to be claustrophobic can I have some chocolate, too?'

A smile pulled at Hermione's mouth but she managed not to laugh.

'I have a stash of crisps should you get hungry later. I'm trying to hold out as long as possible though. Kinda like when you need to-.'

'Oh Merlin, you did not just inadvertently bring peeing up when there is nowhere we can! Well, in private anyway…'

'Lucy!'

'What? You brought it up!'

'Inadvertently! Anyway, you're a smart witch I'm sure you'll be able to compromise! Just… as far away from my desk as possible!'

Lucy laughed out loud. 'I'll be sure to find the furthest point away from your desk as physically possible.'

'And never mention it again!'

'I think that is a given, Hermione, this is hardly something I want bringing up at the office Christmas party!'

...oooOOOooo...

'How long have we been in here?'

Hermione had her eyes closed and she had reclined her chair backwards and propped her feet on the edge of her desk.

'Thirty… seven minutes,' Ginny replied to Mattie's question.

'Is that all? Feels like we've been in here hours.'

'Yes, it does, doesn't it,' Hermione replied to herself. Lucy snorted and Hermione opened her eyes to see her colleague grinning from her seat on another desk.

'Hermione, you're not the type of person to have alcohol hidden in the bottom drawer of your desk alongside your stash of crisps, are you?' Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at Lucy. 'Didn't think so,' Lucy said in reply to Hermione's look.

'Do you really think alcohol is the solution to this problem? Ginny asked the parchment she was drawing Quidditch formations on.

'It's definitely not a solution but it will help me cope with the problem a little better. Do you reckon _Accio_ would work?' she asked as she turned towards Hermione.

Hermione raised her eyebrows and was about to answer when Mattie beat her to it.

'I suppose it would work as long as drawers aren't locked. What's the worst that could happen?'

'Really? What's the worst that could happen?' Hermione asked in response to Mattie's words.

'This is why I need a drink! _Accio alcohol!_'

'No! Wait!' Hermione cried as a series of thuds preceded nine glass bottles flying through the air straight at Lucy.

Hermione jumped from her seat, ran around her desk and grabbed her wand off the table before shouting _'Protego!'_ The air shifted in front of Lucy and the semi transparent barrier shimmered around her. The nine bottles bounced off the shield and fell towards the floor. Ginny launched herself sideways from her seating position and, while catching the largest bottle filled with amber liquid in her left hand as it ricocheted off Hermione's shield, she shouted _'Pulminartis!'_ and the rest of the bottles landed softly on her cushioning charm.

After a few seconds Hermione's shield charm disappeared and her arm fell to her side.

'Um… oops!' Lucy said, turning round and looking at Ginny lying on her back, bottle raised off the ground and Hermione looking shocked.

'_What's the worst that could happen?_' Hermione shrieked, glaring at Lucy and then Mattie.

'Admittedly that was probably not the best idea. Thank you, Hermione, for saving my nose from being rearranged and thank you, Ginny for saving the biggest bottle of alcohol that came out of a Ministry Employee's unlocked desk.'

'You're welcome as long as I'm the first to drink from the damn thing. Someone conjure some glasses while I stand up.' Lucy stepped over the other bottles that had slowly lowered to the floor thanks to Ginny's charm and offered her hand out to Ginny. Ginny took it and was pulled to her feet.

'When you play Quidditch, you don't normally throw yourself off your broom to catch the Quaffle, do you?' Lucy asked with a look of concern.

'No, I don't. Generally brooms move with you, whereas chairs stay firmly where they are.'

'Good, because that would make an already ridiculous game, stupid.'

'Do you want this alcohol to meet the floor at speed?'

'Um… no… sorry, I'll shut up about Quidditch. Thank you for the alcohol saving heroics and please have the first drink from the very full bottle.'

She waved her wand which she had picked up from Hermione's desk and a short glass appeared in her hand. She handed it to Ginny.

'Can I just point out how much alcohol appeared from that one spell?' Mattie said. 'And that's not counting the many, many thuds that indicated how much is still trapped in locked drawers! Is the whole of the Department of Magical Law an alcoholic waiting to happen?' Mattie propped her feet on the edge of the nearest desk and folded her arms across her chest.

'Please don't accuse my colleagues of being alcoholics. You have no idea the things they have to see on a daily basis. Just because the war's over doesn't mean that all horrific things have been irradiated from the world.'

Her words had been quite but firm.

'I… I wasn't judging, but you have to admit it's a lot of alcohol in one office.'

Hermione didn't answer but turned to sit back down at her desk. She picked up her quill and carried on the notes she had been taking before the alcohol incident. A couple of minutes later a glass appeared in front of her with a healthy measure - of what she presumed was Firewhisky - in it.

'Something tells me you'll need that,' Lucy said quietly.

She wasn't wrong.

...oooOOOooo...

'What's the connection between a Killer Whale, a Koala Bear, a Starfish and a Polecat?'

Lucy was lying along the desk closest to Hermione's with her head dangling over the edge and her feet pointing towards the ceiling. Without looking up from her parchment Hermione answered Lucy's question.

'They're not what their names suggest they are.'

Lucy turned her head towards Hermione.

'It's impossible to feel intelligent with you in the room, isn't it?'

Hermione snorted at Lucy's comment.

'I'm so sorry, I'll just keep drinking until I kill some brain cells, shall I?'

'If you would!'

'For those of us who aren't quite as intelligent as the Department of Magical Law's new teacher's pet,' Mattie said as she stared into her glass. Hermione ignored the jibe but a wave of anger surged through her. She picked up her glass and downed the contents. She didn't feel guilty about drinking yet, it was only her second glass, 'would you please explain to us lesser beings the answer to the question?'

Lucy stared at the ceiling and while she pointed and flexed her toes she answered.

'Certainly! They are not what their names suggest they are because a Polecat is not a cat, it is a weasel, a Killer Whale is in fact the largest member of the dolphin family, a Koala Bear is a marsupial and a Starfish is in no way a fish but an echinoderm.'

'Wow, every day really is a school day!' Mattie said before filling up her empty glass once more.

Hermione had flinched at her words. She knew where Mattie had got that phrase from; it was the same place she got it from.

'Where on earth did you get that from?' Ginny asked from her position on the floor.

'I am a fountain of random knowledge!' Lucy replied as she sat up and turned to face Ginny.

'Or you watched television last night and got it off a slightly pretentious but brilliant game show.'

'Oh come on! I was so close to pulling off intelligent!'

Hermione grinned.

'You could have let her have her moment of glory! We're not all ridiculously intelligent!' Mattie had a smile on her face as she said the words but it slipped when she turned to Hermione.

Hermione closed her eyes and put her quill and parchment down on the desk. She stood and took her glass with her as she started walking towards the back of the office.

'Oh so now you're going to go and sit on your own and ignore us all?'

Hermione turned and glared at Mattie.

'Yes, because if I don't I may actually give you the satisfaction of calling you a bitch and if there is something I do not want to do it is give you any satisfaction whatsoever. I really was trying to be civil to you but I think I'll stop now. It's not worth the stress or toll on my ridiculously intelligent brain.'

She turned and stalked to the other end of the office, and sat herself in the furthest corner from her desk. She sat on the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. She sighed and let her head drop onto her arms wishing she could be anywhere but in the same room as the woman who had everything she ever wanted.

...oooOOOooo...

'Come and sit with us. I hate you being back here, brooding about… everything.'

Ginny sat heavily next to Hermione and rested her head against her shoulder.

'Did you know that this spot is exactly above the centre of the rotating room in the Department of Mysteries? I don't know why, especially since we've been through so much _other_ stuff since but… recently I've found myself thinking about our adventures down there and how… how that was the first time I truly believed that I could die. I know being Harry's best friend was always dangerous but the danger was never aimed at me. I was never the person who the spells were aimed at, I was never the person who had a psychotic wizard hell-bent on killing me and with Dumbledore there I truly believed none of us could be harmed. But here… we were _so_ far away from what we knew was safe and we were six teenagers fighting Death Eaters! How the hell none of us died, I-… I mean, I didn't mean-'

'I know what you meant, it's okay.'

'Do you know… well I never told you so I don't think you know but Ron might have told you…' She took a deep breath and let her head fall against the wall behind her. 'The curse that I was hit with… that day… the time I was unconscious, I was stuck in my head. I was… somewhere, maybe between life and death, I don't know. I felt compos mentis, I thought that I was wandering around a black room and I… I shouted for someone to help me, but I eventually figured out that it wasn't real and that I might be dead or dying and… I hated that I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to anyone. My parents, my friends… Ron…'

She took a deep breath and a tear fell down her cheek.

'I didn't know that I loved him, I was sixteen years old! I didn't know about _anything_ really! Not in comparison to what we learned during the war about loss and love and life. But… I knew that there was something about him that was special and I needed to have him near me until I figured out what the hell was going on.'

'So…' Ginny said quietly, 'I know I've asked you this once before but you didn't answer it properly… when he proposed, why did you say no? He was giving you all that you wanted and you said… no.'

Hermione smiled and leant her head against Ginny's.

'Now it seems ridiculous. Believe me, I know, but… I was scared. We were _so_ young and we barely saw each other. We'd never had time to be an 'us' you know? The war ended and he went to work and I went to school and then I went to France. We'd never really been a proper couple and part of me was scared that when we had the chance to spend proper time together and live together and learn everything there was to know about each other that I'd… I'd fall short of his expectations or I'd annoy him constantly or we'd end up hating each other and I… I got terrified. And I didn't say no. I told him that I wanted to marry him and I wanted us to be together just that I wanted to wait.'

She felt Ginny nod.

'I didn't even let myself look at the ring because I wanted to see it for the first time when I knew I was going to say yes…'

Ginny lifted her head and Hermione looked at her.

'You didn't even see the ring?'

'Did you?'

'Yeah… Do you remember the story I told you about George giving Ron the ring that Fred was going to give to Angelina after the war?'

Realisation slid into Hermione's brain.

'It was… he was going to give me… Fred's… ring…'

'Yeah…'

A second realisation bumped into the first.

'It's Mattie's ring now, isn't it?'

'Um… yeah… it is… I nearly fell off my chair when she showed it me but… it's Ron's choice and he chose to give it her.'

Hermione nodded and refused to let any more tears fall from her eyes. Footsteps filled her ears.

'Er, Gin?'

Mattie's voice made her sit up and hastily look for her drink on the floor.

'Yeah?' Ginny replied with a smile.

'I think your phone just beeped.'

'Phones!' Hermione yelled. She scrambled to her feet and Ginny pulled on her flailing hand to get herself on the floor. 'How did I forget we both had a mobile phone?'

She ran to her desk and grabbed her bag off the floor. She plunged her hand into the mess that she had told herself she had to clear out on numerous occasion and after what felt like hours her hand found the hard plastic of the device she craved.

She looked over at Ginny who was fumbling with the keys on her phone. She looked down at her phone and willed it to come to life. She never relied on her mobile phone because it was so unreliable around any form of magic. She found that the older the phone, the more robust it was to the interference but it was still hit and miss. She held down the power button and prayed the something would happen. But her attention was diverted when Ginny collapsed into the chair behind her.

'No…' she whispered. 'No, Harry… no.'

She had only heard one thing more terrible come from Ginny than those words in that desperate tone, and that was when Hagrid had carried Harry out of the forest on that fateful night. She looked at Ginny and all the colour had drained from her face. She was aware of Lucy and Mattie moving around her but she only had eyes for her best friend and the obvious terror that was invading her. She walked to her, dropping her phone on the desk as she went and knelt down in front of her.

She put her hands on her shoulder and looked at her.

'Gin?' she said quietly, 'Gin, what does it say?'

Ginny raised her eyes to Hermione's and pushed the phone towards her. Hermione didn't take the phone from her but glanced down at the illuminated screen. Upside down she read the words, _I love you, forever and eternity_.

From Ginny's earlier exclamation she knew the message was from Harry, but she had no idea why Ginny had reacted so badly. Ginny had received plenty of 'I love you's from Harry in the past, via owl, floo and her muggle mobile phone but never had she seen this reaction. There was something she didn't understand.

'Ginny, what's going on? Apart from what he said, what does that message mean?'

Ginny swallowed hard and her eyes moved from the phone to Hermione, back to the phone and finally staying locked on Hermione. She cleared her throat but the sound that came out was quieter then Hermione had ever heard come out of her best friend. This terrified her more than anything.

'A couple of years ago Harry had been in the heart of training with Ron and they came back to their flat and I've never seen either of them so shaken since the end of the war.' She took a shaky breath but still stared at Hermione as if looking at her was the only way she could focus. 'I only managed to get the bare minimum out of them but apparently… they were called into a situation… even as juniors who weren't fully qualified because they needed every wand available. Anyway, as it turns out by the time they'd got there the drama was over, but they were charged with finding the Aurors who were missing. There was one guy who they didn't find for twenty minutes or so. They were in woods and they spanned for miles and when they found him… well he'd lost so much blood he had no colour and he told them he was dying. They wanted to apparated him to the hospital but the man – Daniel his name was – told them he only had a few minutes left… that he could feel… it.

'They tried to persuade him but he told them in no uncertain terms that he was not going to die in hospital, he was going to die on his own terms and that was staring through the trees at the sky, comforted by the warm breeze and the wisps of clouds above him, waiting for the inevitable to happen. He er… he also wanted to make sure that Harry got a message to his wife and… their daughter. Neither Ron nor Harry ever told me what the message was, I was lucky to get all that I've just said out of them, I wasn't going to get anything else.

'I stayed over that night and about three in the morning I needed to pee but Harry wasn't in his bed. I walked through to the lounge and stopped when I heard them talking. I know I shouldn't have listened or I should have made myself heard but… I just couldn't. I needed to hear what was tearing them both apart. Harry was nearly in tears and he said to Ron that…'

She swallowed hard and Hermione squeezed her shoulders encouraging her to continue. Tears appeared in her eyes but she kept on talking.

'Harry said to Ron that he never wanted his last 'I love you' to me to come from a complete stranger. He was sitting there just thinking out loud the different ways he could think of that would stop it happening. Ron seemed… it was like he wanted to slap Harry to get him to calm down and snap out of it, but he just let him talk and work out what he needed to. Eventually he remembered that he had a phone and he could pre-save messages in it. He even went so far as to start memorising the shortcuts to send the message without having to look at his phone. It was only a short combination, it wouldn't have taken him long. Ron asked what he would have as his last message and Harry replied with…'

The tears fell from her eyes and her head dropped. Hermione moved so she was side on to the chair and pulled Ginny into a hug. Ginny sobbed into Hermione's shoulder and Hermione felt her own eyes burn with tears.

'But what does that mean? It can't mean…'

Hermione ignored Mattie's words and stroked Ginny's back trying to give her some sort of comfort.

'If they're in trouble there's no way Harry would have had time to send a text so maybe… whatever's he said in that message… what did he say?'

Ginny gave a particularly loud sob. Hermione heard the phone drop to the floor and felt Ginny's arms around her clinging on as if for her life. She heard Mattie move around her and knew she had picked up the phone off the floor.

'So… so what does this mean?'

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to think logically but she couldn't help but think the worst. She knew that if Harry was in danger, Ron was in danger; when it really mattered they never left each other's side.

'It's not supposed to be like this,' Ginny whispered.

Hermione pulled back, she had to find a way to keep some sort of optimism in her and Ginny's heart until they knew exactly what was going on.

'Hey, Gin, we don't know what's happening, do we? It's entirely plausible that Harry thought that things were going to turn out… bad but they didn't. He doesn't know that you know what that text could mean, does he? So as far as he knows he's just made your day that little bit brighter, so there's no reason for him to follow it up with reassurance that he's fine because all he did was tell you he loved you.'

Ginny opened her mouth to argue but Hermione cut her off.

'I know! I know that there is a chance that they're not okay and that thought is… suffocating, I can't even begin to think that he won't… that neither of them…' she shook her head to make herself concentrate on her point and not the horror that threatened to overwhelm her, 'but for the minute we both have to believe that they're okay.'

She wiped the tears off Ginny's face and looked her in the eye until Ginny looked at her.

'Okay?' she said once more, her voice firmer.

Ginny nodded and took a shaky breath.

'Well as long as you two are calm and fine then I guess that's all that matters!'

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. She stood up and turned to lean on her desk.

'Mattie, I-'

'You know, I don't know if you've noticed but there are other people in the world who have the right to be shit scared right now. My fiancé is missing and I have no idea what the hell is going on and you're sitting there like you're the only one who cares about him!'

'Really? You're playing the 'I have more right to be worried' card? Do you actually want to play that game?'

'Well, I seem to be winning everything else so I think I'll try this one as well.'

'Winning? You think this is all a game?'

'Well, it's better than thinking it's a fairy tale with only one pre-destined happily ever after!'

'Okay, I'm not going to even consider replying to that because it is ridiculous, but I am going to tell you exactly why I have every right to be worried about my two best friends. I-… you know what? I'm not going to. I'm not going to stand here and justify my worry because I have every right to feel the way I feel.'

'Heh! Saying no? You're good at that, I suppose.'

Hermione prided herself on being able to walk away from a potentially volatile situation but this time she couldn't. She set her jaw and took a step towards Mattie. Mattie did the same.

'Oh no, no, no!' Ginny said, suddenly jumping up from her chair and standing in front of Hermione. She had her hand out behind her as a warning to Mattie.

'Turn around and walk away,' Ginny said trying to catch Hermione's eye.

Hermione looked past Ginny and watched as Mattie smiled.

'Yeah, walk away Hermione, before you get injured for a second time on Ministry premises.'

For a second all she could concentrate on was not moving an inch until she calmed down. She could remember the only time in her life previously when she had felt the compulsion to attack someone, that time she had lost control, this time she wouldn't.

She opened her eyes, took a deep breath, smiled and turned around, and went and sat in the spot once more that she found comfort in.

...oooOOOooo...

'Please take the high road. You've done it all your life, why stop now?'

Ginny leant on the bookcase Hermione was staring at but didn't make a move to sit down.

'Because I can't stop staring and wondering what might have been. I keep telling myself to move on. I even told Ron that was what I was going to do but…'

She didn't need to finish the sentence for Ginny to know what she meant.

'Like you said, you need to stop. It's a one way ticket to insanity.'

'Oh, believe me, Gin, I'm already there. Anyway, are you okay?'

Ginny shrugged. 'Not thinking about anything I don't know about.'

Hermione nodded. 'Good idea.'

'She's a good person, you know,' Ginny said, staring at the ground. 'When she was editing the book and going over the chapter where Ron wrote about you arriving back at Shell Cottage after you were captured and... tortured, she said that she wanted to make sure that every word Ron had used was good enough to describe what had happened, because what you went through then and what Ron and Harry went through listening and trying to save you deserved to have every word be perfect.

'She earned my respect instantly and we've been friends ever since. Don't get me wrong, Hermione, you're my best friend, but that doesn't mean she can't have my friendship, too. I am trying to keep the peace and my sanity in tact but I need you both to try harder. Please.'

She took her weight back on her feet and tried to smile at Hermione before turning and walking back through the office.

...oooOOOooo...

Twenty minutes later Hermione walked towards her desk. Ginny was curled up in a squashy arm chair Hermione presumed she had transfigured from one of the normal office chairs, Lucy was nowhere to be seen and Mattie was juggling balled up pieces of parchment with her wand.

'Um… is Lucy…'

'Otherwise engaged.'

'Oh, right.'

'How long has Ginny been asleep?'

'About ten minutes. She's… wiped out. If she hadn't fallen asleep I was going to ask if you had any chocolate left, she'd lost some colour, thought she could use the sugar.'

Hermione nodded.

'There is one more bar if anyone needs it. Are you hungry? I have some crisps if you want.'

Mattie shook her head.

'I was starving before… but now I just… feel sick.'

Hermione nodded again. She took a deep breath and started talking before her nerve left her.

'Look, Mattie, I'm sorry I've behaved badly. I don't know why, but for whatever reason you bring out every insecurity I have and it turns me into someone I don't like. But you have to know that I am not a threat to you.'

Mattie didn't take her eyes off the balls of parchment that were sailing through the air.

'Well, that's something we have in common. But…'

'But…?'

'You're always a threat, Hermione. I edited a book that was pretty much a love letter to you cleverly disguised as a tale of a year on the run. For Merlin's sake _I_ nearly fell in love with you his words were that strong.'

Hermione smiled.

'I don't think I can ever be as good as you.'

'Mattie, you don't ever have to try at being as good as me. Surely all you have to do is be as good as you?'

'But I read how he loved you so completely and-'

'But he proposed to _you_.'

Mattie smiled and let the parchment fall to the ground.

'He proposed to you first. The ring on my finger was yours, how can I not see you as a threat?'

Hermione put her head in her hands.

'It was never my ring. It's Ron's ring to give to the woman he is so totally in love with that he wants to spend the rest of his days with her.' Mattie didn't respond to her words. 'Gin told me what you said about that chapter in the book... the... torture one. Maybe that's why I'm finding this so hard, because he found someone that's such a good person and understands what needs to be understood within Ron. I don't in any way want that to sound patronising, but you know what I mean. Ron loves you, Mattie. I can see that, everyone can see that, that's why he put that ring on your finger. You heard Ginny tell me that Fred... Fred was supposed to give that ring to Angelina. George made sure everything of Fred's got divided equally between the family, but he chose Ron to have that ring, to remind him that if you have nothing else, you have the ability to love. He gave you that ring because he loves you more than anything.'

'I er… I didn't know about it being Fred's ring before tonight. Ron... Ron never told me that. I knew the ring was tied to someone in the family, I just presumed it was an heirloom. Why would you try and convince me of the way he feels, though? I don't understand after everything…'

'So that all this stops. So that you stop doubting. So that my sanity and yours can return. So that I can keep my word to Ron and be civil to you again. I wasn't being and that was wrong. I wish I could be the girl in the book with the ideas and ideals that I had back then. Even after all the hurt, anger and hatred the three of us went through in that year, my optimism managed to survive. Then again, maybe I never was that girl, maybe that was just a front to protect myself. Maybe everything Ron thought was just his presumption.'

Mattie sat forward on her chair.

'I don't think that's true. I think you were the girl in the book and that you still are. But you're not that couple anymore and you know... part of me hates it because I read that book and I wanted that couple to overcome all odds from page one. But that book finished and Ron and I started writing our own history and I can't, won't apologise for a word of it.'

'You should never have to! And… I told Ginny after the first time I met you that I hated that I liked you. You're smart, you're pretty and you're good for Ron, so... yeah... We, _I_ need to take things for what they are and we both need to move on.'

Mattie nodded. 'Well, I'm awful at accepting compliments so before I turn bright red, I think we should move on.'

Hermione smiled. 'Moving on sounds... excellent.'

...oooOOOooo...

The low rumbling and vibration had her heart racing before she knew exactly what was going on. She looked over to the door and she watched as the red line appeared at the bottom of the wall and made its way up.

'Harry!' Ginny exclaimed having been awoken by the vibration. She stumbled to her feet and ran through the office and out the door. Mattie started to follow her but stopped suddenly. Hermione walked over to her, dying to copy Ginny's movements but she stopped and gently placed her hand on Mattie's arm.

'What is it?'

'What if it's bad news?'

'Then you'll deal with whatever it is, but chances are there'll be nothing to deal with.'

Mattie nodded and after taking a deep breath started walking quickly through and out the office.

Lucy came and stood next to Hermione.

'Come on, it's like you said, you have a right to be worried, too.'

Lucy linked her arm through Hermione's and they followed Mattie out the door.

The Auror department was utter chaos. There were shouts and people frantically looking at maps and bits of paper. She automatically looked for Ron's desk and her heart soared when she saw him sitting on his desk. He had blood down one side of his face and his eye was starting to darken. She couldn't asses the rest of his condition because Mattie was holding him tightly.

She took a deep breath and her eyes found Ginny and Harry. Ginny was shaking in Harry's arms and Harry was sobbing into Ginny's shoulder. She knew that more things should be registering with her but only one fact seemed to stick: Harry and Ron were safe.

Without her realising it, Kingsley had arrived at her side.

'They'll be okay, they're battered and bruised and they're exhausted and they'll need all the support they can get, but… they'll get through it. I'd go into details but I'll leave that until tomorrow. I take it you were caught here when the wards came down?'

Hermione nodded. 'Did they actually get anywhere near the Ministry?'

'Were ninety-eight percent sure they didn't but there are still a couple of things we have to check.'

'But we're okay going home?' Hermione asked.

Kingsley nodded.

'Go home, have a drink and get some sleep, it's going to be crazy for the next few weeks, both of you will have to be on the ball, especially you, Miss Granger, I'll tell you more about that, tomorrow. Go home.'

Hermione nodded.

'Will do.'

Kingsley walked into the chaos in front of them. Hermione turned to Lucy.

'I have a very old bottle of red wine at home that I have been saving for an occasion that will likely never transpire. Life's to short to not drink good wine. Do you want a glass?'

'You don't want my company tonight. I'm not much fun when I'm on edge. I was safe before, hence the jovial act, but now…'

'Well then, let's be on edge together.'

Lucy nodded. 'Thanks, but are you sure you aren't needed here? The Minister said they'd need all the help they could get.' She nodded towards Harry and Ron.

Hermione looked at Harry and Ginny and then Ron and Mattie.

'They both have exactly what they need. Just give me a second.'

She walked over to Harry and Ginny and kissed the tops of both of their heads and gave their shoulders a squeeze.

She turned to Ron and Mattie. Ron's eyes were closed to everything around him but she caught Mattie's eye. _Look after him_ she mouthed. Mattie nodded.

Hermione turned and followed Lucy out of the office not thinking about tomorrow or the days and weeks of chaos that would come, but just at the comfort of being able to go home.


	8. Distraction

**Okay, so originally this chapter was going to be a bit longer with an extra section but I had a reshuffle in my head and worked out it would go better in the next chapter, so this one is done but a little shorter than normal for this story. Still, another chapter down... :) Let me know what you think!**

* * *

Work was hectic; there was no other way to describe it. The aftermath of 'DE3' as it had been designated for ease (named as such because it was the third time wannabe Death Eaters had tried something 'significant') was chaotic and more painful than she had imagined. As soon as she saw Harry and Ron she knew that the situation had been horrendous, and she was thankful that she only had to deal with the aftermath as opposed to going through it. However, reading through the reports of torture and destruction made her stomach turn and tears burn her eyes.

Christine had sent her an owl that night telling her to be in work for quarter past eight the next morning. As much as part of her mourned the lack of sleep she would surely suffer, the ambitious part of her liked that she was being asked to be a part of sorting it out. Of course then she felt guilty about being happy about a step forward in her professional career at the expense of lives.

She was working as Christine's junior assistant. It was something of an unofficial promotion but nothing had changed in her contract. Hermione was just glad of the chance for the experience of working with someone so high up in the Department of Magical Law.

She had barely seen Ron, Harry or Ginny for four weeks, but Ginny was busy winning her Quidditch matches and Ron and Harry were being pulled from pillar to post trying to work their other cases and give evidence about that night. When she spotted them they looked drained and terrible. Her nights were late and more often than not as she left the Ministry she spotted Ron's lamp lit at his desk and noticed the silhouette of him hastily scribbling away. She hoped his fiction and thoughts of his impending wedding were helping him escape from his work, he deserved some sort of escape.

Because of her lack of contact with her best friend, she had no idea that the relationship she thought of as solid was starting to crack.

The first she knew of 'the confrontation' as she came to call it was when Ginny slammed the door of her bedroom one Friday night, five weeks since the night at the Ministry and two weeks before Ron and Mattie's wedding, making Hermione jump. She was reading a book from work - she had decided that only reading work books was the safest thing to do for the near future – and she had been nodding off, but the door slamming woke her up.

'Gin?'

She hoisted the large tome onto her bed and made her way to her bedroom door. She opened it and turned left and knocked on Ginny's.

'Gin? You okay?'

There was no answer. Hermione sighed.

'Gin, come on, what's wrong?'

Again no answer. Hermione let her head fall against the door.

'Okay, fine, but just so you know I'm going to sit my arse outside the door and wait until you talk to me. You don't have to go into details I just need to know you're okay.'

As she finished her sentence she heard the door unlock and swing open an inch. She pushed it slowly open and stepped inside. Ginny was stood facing her window and leant against the windowsill. Her wand sat in between her hands and her head had dropped. Hermione walked over to her and put her hands on her shoulders. It seemed that it was her touch that started Ginny sobbing. Hermione pulled her towards her and turned her around. She held her as she cried and just said 'shh' over and over until she felt Ginny calm down.

Eventually Ginny pulled back.

'Sorry,' she whispered.

'Don't apologise, what's wrong?'

Ginny sniffed and leant against the windowsill.

'You know… after what happened, Ron and Harry were assigned a Ministry counsellor…'

'Yeah, she's a couple of years older than us, black hair, Jessica is it?'

Ginny nodded. 'Yes. It's Jessica. She's the problem. I found them together, in Harry's office. He was standing against the wall and she was kissing him. I didn't give her the chance to explain anything, just grabbed her by the hair and threw her out the office. Apparently I'm quite strong when I'm angry. Anyway… Harry told me it was all her and he'd been trying to ignore her _advances_ but she wasn't taking any notice.'

'Can I just point out that she is the most unprofessional counsellor in the entire world!' Hermione said, more worried about the integrity of Ministry staff than Harry's. She trusted Harry, especially when it came to his love for Ginny.

'Her professionalism is the least of my worries.'

Hermione's brow furrowed. 'But, like you said, it was all one sided.'

'Except this is the third time she's kissed him.'

Hermione was shocked into silence. She quickly regained her composure and shook her head to organise her thoughts.

'I'll say it again. It was all one-sided, Gin. Harry would never betray you like that.'

Ginny laughed out loud. 'Oh, Hermione, by letting this go on for so long, he already has. He should have stopped it, I don't care if he was worried about her or hurting her professionally. He should never have let it get this far! After the first time that bitch put her grubby monkey-claw hands on him, he should have asked for someone else to give him counselling! He's just so stupid!'

Hermione took a deep breath. She had to agree with Ginny, there was no way Harry should have let her continue to be the person assigned to make sure his mental health was not damaged by what he had seen during that night. But it was Harry, he would have known that he had to tell Kingsley exactly why he wanted someone else and that would probably have lost Jessica her job.

'Did he tell you all of that? She asked. Ginny nodded her head.

'Yeah, I could tell by the way he was trying to grip the wall behind him that he was trying to get away from her. I told him I was okay with it as long as he never had another session with her again and as long as he was being truthful about what had happened. That's when his eyes fell to the floor and I knew it wasn't all that happened. He blurted out that it wasn't the first time and it had happened twice before.'

'What did you say to him?'

Ginny looked straight at Hermione. 'I picked up the portable pensieve off his desk, threw it at his head and told him to go and cry to his whore of a counsellor.'

Hermione closed her eyes. She knew Ginny's temper was fiery to say the least, but a small part of her thought that Harry deserved at least some sort of over the top reaction to his stupidity.

'Did you give him a chance to respond?'

Ginny shook her head. 'No. I ran out the office to the lifts and as he was catching up with me the doors were closing. When I arrived at the Atrium I ran to the nearest fireplace and disappeared.'

'So, he's on his way here, then?' Hermione was a little hopeful that this situation could be resolved quickly.

'He might be trying to get in. I disconnected the Floo, put the ward up around the flat and made the front door imperturbable.'

Hermione sighed. Her small flicker of hope died an instant death.

'Is this where you tell me I'm being immature and should just forgive him? Because I'm sorry, I can't do that.'

'I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say that you should probably take some time for yourself. Stay in here, go back to Holyhead. Actually why aren't you at Holyhead? Gin, it's the last game of the season tomorrow!'

'Believe me, Hermione, of that I am perfectly aware.'

'So… why are you here? Ginny, I don't want to add any outside pressure, but tomorrow is your time to shine and help the Harpies win the league. Considering what happened last year…'

Hermione didn't need to finish that sentence for Ginny to shudder involuntarily. Hermione hadn't been there, but she had seen the action replays in the paper. Ginny had hesitated taking – what ended up being – the last shot of the game. She had a shot on target but wasn't entirely sure which way the keeper was going to go. She had feinted to shoot to her right but the keeper knew her well and was holding off moving until the ball left her hand. Although the entire sequence happened in a couple of seconds, Ginny could recount every movement, she had told Hermione that in a long telephone conversation early the next morning. Because the keeper had hesitated, she had hesitated. She thought the keeper would presume she was feinting and move to her left. He did and she shot to her right, but a second too late, because as the quaffle had left her hand, the seeker on the other team caught the snitch. The Harpies were only 140 points ahead and therefore lost the match.

No one blamed Ginny, except the woman herself. She knew that if she had just trusted her instincts then the match would have gone into extra time. But she hadn't, they had lost the match and had come second in the league by one point.

It wasn't the end of the world, of course it wasn't, but it was Ginny's first season as the highest paid chaser on the team and that brought with it its own pressure. It was never said to her face that this season she had to deliver, but the pressure was there.

Hermione knew that this was the last thing that Ginny needed before the biggest match of her professional sports life and had to remind her of what tomorrow meant to her.

The seconds stretched into a minute as Hermione collected her thoughts.

'Right, this is what you're going to do…'

A thought struck her and she had to smile internally at her apparent genius.

'You're going to stay here for a few minutes. Don't leave until I come back, okay?'

Ginny shrugged. 'Fine.'

Hermione turned and left the room. She considered locking Ginny in but thought that would be a step too far.

She was about to pick up the pot of Floo powder when the fireplace roared in front of her. She was instantly confused. Mattie appeared and stepped out of the fireplace, brushing ash off her clothes.

She didn't seem to be bothered or surprised that Hermione was stood directly in front of her.

Mattie asked 'how is she?' at the same time Hermione said 'I thought she'd disconnected the Floo!'

They both smiled, granted the atmosphere was a little awkward but it was at least civil.

'She's… upset and angry and I'm going to try and get her into a situation where she can vent but still keep her mind on the game tomorrow. Can you do me a favour and keep her here until I get back. I need to reconnect the Floo… wait-'

'She did,' Mattie replied to Hermione earlier statement and her current train of thought, 'but just to Harry and Ron's flat. I apparated home and managed to get a connection. I reckon if you reconnect it you should be able to get to Harry and Ron's… I presume that was where you were going to?'

Hermione nodded. 'I was going to tell Harry that she's fine, well not fine but safe at least, then I may have to shout at him a little bit, but then I'm going to go and find someone who I reckon can help.'

She briefly explained to Mattie her plan.

'What do you think?' she asked, a little apprehensive about what Mattie would think.

'I think that's a really good idea. She needs to get back to Holyhead but I don't think she should be on her own. Go and see if you can find him. Oh, Ron's already called Harry a cock so you may not need to go overboard on the shouting.'

Hermione winced. She hated the idea of Harry and Ron fighting. It brought back bad memories.

'They're okay, Ron believes that Harry is just stupid and too bloody soft for his own good as opposed to in love with someone else. They're fine.'

Hermione nodded. 'Good.'

'I'll stay with her and try and calm her down. I'll see you soon.'

'I'll be back as quick as I can.'

As she swirled through the Floo network she had to marvel at the fact that her and Mattie had had a constructive and friendly conversation, but it was cut short when she fell out the Floo. She had been distracted in her thoughts and her entrance to Ron and Harry's flat was less than graceful. Thankfully neither Ron nor Harry seemed to notice. Harry was on his feet and walking to her before she had fully recovered herself.

'Is she at home? Is she okay?'

'Yes and no.'

Harry looked instantly relived but then his head dropped when Hermione's answer to his second question sunk in.

'What the hell is going on, Harry?' she asked quietly.

Harry shook his head.

'I thought I could handle it by being kind and showing her that I love Ginny.'

'Yes, but Harry, when you let it go past one kiss and didn't report her or at least stop your sessions, she _will_ have taken that as a sign that you just needed persuading that she was what you wanted. I know women can be hard to read some times but surely that was obvious!'

Ron gestured wildly behind Harry and mouthed the words _thank you_. Hermione raised her eyes at him. He shook his head and walked through to the kitchen.

'Look, you need to fix this but not tonight, not with tomorrow being what it is.'

Harry threw his head back and stared at the ceiling.

'What I wouldn't give for this to have happened some other night.'

'What I wouldn't give for this not to have happened at all!' Ron shouted from the kitchen.

'_Fuck!_' Harry said as he dropped his head to look at her.

'Harry I think I have a way to fix-… well, not fix but try and at least get her head where it needs to be for tomorrow. When the match is over and everyone is telling her how brilliant she is, you can try and sort things out.'

'But what about now?'

'I am about to find someone who she can talk to all she wants and still be close enough to keep her head in Quidditch. Promise me you won't try and talk to her while I'm there.'

Harry looked like he was fighting an internal battle between what he wanted to do and what he knew he should do.

'Promise,' he said through gritted teeth.

Ron walked back into the room carrying to glasses of Firewhiskey.

'I'll make sure he stays here.'

He took a swig from his drink and nudged Harry on the arm with his glass. Harry sighed and took the glass from Ron. He walked to the sofa and fell heavily onto it.

'Is Mattie at yours?' Ron asked.

'Yeah, she agreed with my plan and is keeping Ginny at home until I return. I need to get going. Keep him here. Do not let him try and see Ginny, okay?'

Ron had looked shocked for a second that Hermione and Mattie had had a conversation but he passed over it.

'I will, but you haven't told us what your genius plan is, you know.'

'I know. See you later.'

She turned on the spot and apparated to the corridor outside the function room in the Holyhead Harpies' Stadium. There was a few people stumbling around, it looked like whatever function had been going on was coming to a close. She just hoped Quintus was working.

She walked with purpose through the double doors and ignored the quizzical looks from the people leaving. A few of them grinned at her but she had no idea who they were. She sniggered and made her way to the bar. She smiled widely when she saw Quintus with a long roll of parchment in his hand and a quill tucked behind his ear.

'Quintus?' she said to his back.

He spun around and lowered his parchment.

'Hermione! What… what are you doing here?'

'I'm here to ask a huge favour of you.'

'Okay, ask away!' he replied with a smile. He leant forwards on the bar and pulled his quill from his ear.

'Well, to cut a long story short, your number one chaser is currently at home, rather upset and angry and I'm worried that if I don't get her back here and around people who know her and are Quidditch… related… then she'll mess up tomorrow.'

Quintus frowned. 'Ginny's upset?'

He stood up and Hermione saw a change in him. He looked like he was taking on a position of 'player defender' and this is exactly what Hermione hoped.

'What's upset her?'

He folded his arms across his chest. Hermione wanted to smile at the stance he had taken but managed to suppress it.

'Her and Harry have had a fight, it's pretty big and she's not thinking about Quidditch. We need to stop her being distracted… well, I say _we_ but I reckon I'll just remind her of Harry and everything at home, so I was hoping…'

'That I'd say I'd try and get her head back to tomorrow and distract her.'

'Is there any way you can? I know you're just about finished for the night but I wouldn't ask if… well, if your entire season's success didn't rest on tomorrow.'

'Of course I'll help. I know what distracts her and what makes her laugh. I'll take her to the clubhouse and make her go through their tactics and I'll fly against her if she needs to get rid of her aggression. And I'll make sure she gets back to the player lodge at a reasonable hour so she can at least try and get some sleep.'

Hermione sighed with relief.

'Quintus, if there wasn't a bar between us I'd hug you until you couldn't breathe.'

Quintus smiled and dropped his arms from across his chest.

'Well, I suppose it's best it's here if you're going to make me pass out.'

'Probably best. Seriously though, Quintus, thank you so much for this. I know you're doing it for Ginny, but thank you from me, too.'

Quintus smiled. 'I am doing it for Ginny, but Hermione, if you ever need anything for you, I'd say yes to that as well.'

Hermione begged herself not to blush but to no avail, she could feel her cheeks reddening and dropped her eyes to the floor.

'Thank you,' she replied quietly. 'I'll go and get Ginny. Shall I bring her here?'

Quintus nodded. 'Yeah, I'll just finish tidying up. Just come in the way you did. I'll not ward or lock anything.'

'Excellent. I'll be back in a few minutes.'

She disapparated and appeared in her bedroom. She walked out and turned to Ginny's bedroom door. It was open and she stopped at what she found. Feathers covered every surface and Mattie was holding up a pillow in front of Ginny's outstretched wand.

'Um…' Hermione said with half a smile on her face.

'Stress relief,' Mattie replied to her questioning look.

'Fair enough!' Hermione replied. She looked at Ginny and the pillow exploded. Hermione waited until the majority of the feathers had floated to the floor. 'As much as this is a brilliantly messy idea, I think you need a proper distraction.'

Ginny sighed. 'Hermione, I appreciate whatever effort you've been to, but honestly I have no idea how I'm going to get my head back in the game.'

'I know, but I have someone who can and will help you. Now, did you bring anything back with you that you'll need when you get back to Holyhead?'

'No. You're taking me back, then?' Ginny asked, huffing slightly.

'Yes, that's where you need to be and you need people other than Mattie and me to help you. We're too close to the problem and that won't help. You know Quintus, yes?'

'Fiver? Yeah, of course.' Hermione raised her eyebrows at Ginny nickname for him. 'He got the name from school, nothing to do with me!'

Hermione waved away the comment.

'Good, he's got some time this evening and he's going to keep you company. He's going to go through tactics, plays and… whatever else you lot go through before a big game and he'll fly against you if you need to release any more aggression. He'll also make sure you get back to the lodge safely and hopefully in a state where you can get some sleep. Okay?'

Ginny stood up and walked so she was between Mattie and Hermione. 'Honestly, I'm not sure if he'll be successful but I get it. I know I have to be there and I have to at least try and concentrate on tomorrow. I can't let Harry and that… _slut_ affect my performance… well, at the very least I should try my hardest to not let it. Quintus is a good guy, I'm sure he'll be a distraction and he's one of the best to go through tactics with. So, okay, I'll go and thank you both for dealing with this… me.'

Mattie snorted. 'Oh, come on, Gin, we are in your debt just a little bit!'

Hermione smiled.

'This is entirely true,' Ginny said with a smile. 'But still, thanks.'

'You're welcome,' Mattie replied as she pulled Ginny into a hug.

When they pulled apart Ginny turned to Hermione.

'Do me a favour and make sure you're _all_ there tomorrow. And I mean _all_ of you.'

Hermione nodded knowing that despite Ginny not liking Harry very much at the minute she still wanted him to be there.

'We'll make sure of it, won't we Mattie?'

Mattie nodded. 'Absolutely.'

Ginny hugged Hermione. 'Thank you.'

'Right, I'll apparated us there. Mattie, do you mind just waiting here? Save me locking up.'

'No, no, I'll wait here. Be careful. Both of you.'

Hermione took Ginny's hand and turned on the spot, Apparating to the same spot she had earlier. She walked through the double doors once more and Quintus was propped against the bar, waiting for them.

'Hi Quintus,' Hermione said with a smile.

'Hermione, all right Gin?'

Ginny shrugged. 'Been better.'

Quintus nodded. 'I know, don't worry, it'll get better.'

They all shared a smile.

'Right, I'll get back. We'll see you tomorrow, Gin. Good luck.'

She gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

'See you later.'

She grinned at Quintus and left the room. When she got back home Mattie was sitting on the sofa reading the latest edition of Witch Weekly.

'All sorted?' Mattie asked, putting the magazine back on the coffee table.

'Yeah, she seemed… okay.'

Mattie nodded. 'Good. Well, I best be off. No doubt Ron will be in need of a rant of some sort and he's not going to rant at Harry any more so…'

Hermione nodded and smiled.

'Thanks for finding a way to keep her sane while I was gone.'

'Thank you for finding a way to help her tomorrow. Match starts at two; we'll be setting off at one, why don't you meet us at Ron's at ten to? We can all arrive together then.'

Hermione nodded.

'Sounds good.'

'Right, I'll let Ron know. See you tomorrow.'

'Yeah, see you tomorrow.'

Mattie stepped into the Floo and disappeared in a whirl of green.

Hermione collapsed onto the sofa and just sat with her eyes closed for a few minutes. Deciding she was too tired to go back to reading she trudged through to her bedroom and switched on the portable television she had bought herself. After flicking through a few channels she found a film she loved that had only just started. She got ready for bed and snuggled under her duvet. She prayed to anyone who was listening that Ginny would shine tomorrow and all her hard work would pay off and she hoped that her friends would be able to work through the barrier that had been thrown up between them. For herself she just prayed for an undisturbed sleep.

Someone must have been listening, because half an hour later, she was asleep.

…oooOOOooo…

Quintus deserved a medal or a drink or… something, she wasn't sure what. The match had been going on for nineteen minutes and the Harpies were leading by thirty points. Ginny had scored sixty of the Harpies' ninety and looked focussed and determined.

There had been a moment when she saw Ginny's 'competition face' slip when she had automatically looked to where she knew her friends would be and had obviously seen Harry clapping and smiling back at her. It had only lasted a second and Hermione knew that after that second it was back to business. Relieved didn't quite cover what Hermione was feeling.

Gwenog was looking fierce as she watched from the home side's dugout, barking instructions to the players who flew near enough to hear them. The noise of the crowd increased and Hermione watched as Ginny caught the Quaffle and flew over a Bludger and around one of the opposition's Chasers. She took both hands off her broom, passed the Quaffle from her right hand to her left then back to her right and raised her arm to shoot into the right hand hoop. The keeper dived and as he did, Ginny swapped hands and swung her arm back. She swerved to the left and as the Keeper swore in frustration she put the Quaffle through the centre hoop.

The crowd exploded with cheers but part from Ginny's small salute to the crowd as she pulled around, she made no elaborate celebration. She swung low and flew alongside the dugout and nodded as Gwenog shouted something at her. While the coach didn't look happy as such, she at least didn't look annoyed or angry.

'Whatever you did, _thank you_,' Harry said from beside her.

'Unfortunately, I can only take a small part of the credit. The idea was mine but the execution was all Quintus's.'

Harry nodded. 'I'll be buying him a drink or five later.'

'I think he'll be more than happy to accept!'

Harry managed a smile, the first genuine one he had worn all day, Hermione noted.

'So,' she started, instantly wishing she had put a few more seconds thought into the completion of that sentence before she said anything.

'Before you say anything, I want you to know that I've spoken to Kingsley and everything is… being dealt with.'

'Officially and by the book?' she asked, knowing Ginny wouldn't be impressed if any leniency had been shown.

'To ever letter of every word of every sentence in the book,' Harry replied, his voice firm and determined. Nothing else would be fair on Ginny.'

Hermione nodded as she clapped the Harpies' number two Chaser after she scored. 'I'm not going to have a go at you Harry or tell you you were ridiculously stupid…' a small smile played at her lips as Harry turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow, 'but I am going to tell you that you could have asked me anything and admit I'm a little upset you didn't ask for advice or help.'

Harry nodded and looked sorry. 'If it helps, I didn't tell anyone. I did consider telling you and asking for a woman's opinion, but I didn't want to burden you, what with…' he leaned into Hermione and lowered his voice, 'everything.'

'And you didn't think that with _everything_ going on that this may have been something like a welcome distraction?'

Harry tilted his head. 'I honestly didn't think of it like that.'

'Well, even so, don't hesitate next time, look at the trouble you get in to when you don't!'

Harry laughed. 'Point taken. So, oh wise and intelligent one… how do I make it up to her?'

'Grovel. Apologise. Beg if necessary. She knows you still love her and she wanted you here today; she made Mattie and me promise that _everyone_ would be here. Do something romantic and special to show her how sorry you are. But if everything goes okay and she lets you back in the flat tonight, do one thing for me…'

'Anything.'

'_Please_ remember the silencing charms!'

Harry grinned. 'If I'm that lucky, I promise to remember!'


	9. Acceptance

**Well, will you look at that, 9,000 words later and I've still not covered the bit that I initially wanted at the end of the last chapter. It _will_ be in the next chapter! So, yes, I really enjoyed writing this one and stuff came out of my brain that I didn't plan for. I really like it when that happens and I still like it after I've read through it. Please continue to trust me.**

**Ta, Step ;) x**

* * *

**Acceptance**

She had never felt so uneasy in her life. She wished she could say that it was because of work, that her workload was now larger than ever and that she was struggling to cope, but that wasn't the problem. Yes, her workload was ridiculous but she loved every second.

She wished that she could say it was because Harry and Ginny still hadn't sorted out their problems, even though it was over a week since 'the incident', but it wasn't. She knew that Ginny and Harry still loved each other and they would eventually work out the niggles in their relationship, they were both just being too stubborn.

The reason why she was uneasy was because she was, in a few days time, going to watch the man she loved marry someone else. She had questioned her sanity over and over again and she had thought about not going, heartily thought it was best that she stay well away, but when Molly had asked her at what time she was thinking of getting to the Burrow on the morning of the wedding an she had replied with 'I, er, don't know if I'm going yet,' Molly had looked like she was about to burst into tears. After a very short conversation Hermione had succumbed to what can only be described as emotional blackmail and said she would be there for half ten.

She knew she could still not go, or arrive in the morning and slip away before the ceremony started but some part of her had resigned herself to the fact that she must watch Ron get married to move on.

Because there was a part of her that refused to believe that there was no hope until she saw him turn to the crowd as a married man. The hope was fading every day but it still burned inside her and it hurt like hell.

She was watching what could only be described as the most depressing soap opera in history on the telly and trying to relax. Christine had told her not touch work that evening and for once she had agreed that it was probably best. Yes, she was revelling in the challenge and hard work that met her every day at the Ministry, but she knew if she didn't try and relax once in a while, she would burn out. She was taking comfort from the fact that although her life was not in any way perfect, it was better than those of the characters she was watching. It was her main reason for watching this particular programme. That and she couldn't find the remote and didn't want to move from her comfy position on the sofa.

The bright green flames in the fireplace caught her off guard and she jumped when a piece of parchment fluttered to the ground.

She considered summoning the parchment but then remembered why she hadn't done that to the TV remote – her wand was on the top of the fireplace. She sighed and pulled herself off the sofa and retrieved both the parchment and her wand. She unfolded the parchment and frowned as she read the words.

_Hermione,_

_Can I pop round for a minute? I just want to ask you something._

_Ta, Mattie_

Hermione raised her eyebrows. She picked a pen up off the coffee table and scribbled on the back of the parchment, _No problem, whenever you're free._

She threw a handful of floo powder into the fireplace and shouted the address to Ron's flat – she presumed that was where the note had come from, she didn't know Mattie's address even if she thought she was there – before dropping the parchment into the flames. It whipped out of site and as it did Hermione's thoughts fell to what Mattie could possibly want to talk to her about. Their being civil had continued but she thought only days from the wedding that Mattie would be avoiding her.

Before she had any more time to ponder her own questions the flames erupted in front of her and Mattie swirled into existence. She stepped out of the fireplace and brushed the ash off her shoulders.

'Hi! Hermione said, her voice a little higher than normal due to nerves. She mentally rolled her eyes at herself.

'Hi,' Mattie replied, her voice not firm like usual.

'Do you want a drink?' Hermione asked.

'No, I won't stay, I just want to ask you something.'

Hermione smiled. 'Ask away.'

'Right, well… look if you don't want to take part in any of this then I understand. I know I'm not asking the easiest of things but I felt like I had to, no… actually I wanted to. Don't ask me why but I did.'

Hermione took a seat on the single chair and waved at the sofa. Mattie perched on the edge obviously uncomfortable.

'You know that Harry and Ginny are still being ridiculous, I love the girl to bits but Merlin can she be stubborn sometimes! Harry isn't helping of course, trying to do everything he thinks she wants instead of being normal. Anyway, Ron and I reckon that if we plan to have our stag and hen dos at the same place then it'll force them to at least be nice to each other for a few hours and a drink or so may get their tongues loose enough to talk things through.'

'Okay, sounds like something of a plan. How… how can I help?'

'I want you to be there.'

Hermione couldn't help but suck in a breath and screw her face up in discomfort.

'I know! I know! I can't think of anything else you rather wouldn't do than come to my hen party but I'm asking that you're there for Ginny to help her and Harry get their arses in gear and back to how things should be.'

Hermione sighed. She was about to respond but Mattie cut her off.

'I promise that I'll stay out of your way all night and you won't have to pay for a drink while you're there. I know it's not that much of an incentive but it's all I have.'

Hermione nodded. 'I get it, I do, I understand that you want them back to how things were, I want that, too, but Mattie, your hen party?'

Mattie dropped her head and nodded a little.

'It was a stupid idea, I'm sorry, I'll leave you to your evening. It's just… okay, I'll admit I have an ulterior motive… Ron needs…' Mattie shifted in her seat and looked even more uncomfortable than she had before, 'Ron needs you to be in his life. Believe me when I say that I have had to do some serious soul searching to come to that conclusion and eventually be okay with it. You've known each other since you were eleven, and after everything you went through during the war… he needs you as his friend and if that means that I have to learn how to be friends with you then that's what I'll do. As long as Ron's happy, that's all that matters.'

Hermione took a deep breath_, Emotional blackmail should be made illegal!_ she thought. Her stomach squirmed a little at the thought of having to subject herself to Mattie and Ron's perfect happiness more than was absolutely necessary, but as Mattie had cruelly reminded her, she, herself had promised that as long as Ron was happy, that was all that mattered._ Arse_, she thought.

'I won't promise you anything. I'll think about it, that I'll promise, but that alone.'

Mattie nodded her head. 'Of course. I won't mention it again, you'll either turn up or you won't and you won't hear me say another word. It's this Friday in the 'Sticks at eight, and if you could not mention the joint party thing to Ginny…'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Thanks, I'll leave you in peace.'

They both stood and Hermione offered the pot of floo powder to Mattie. She took a handful and stepped into the fireplace. A question Hermione had been curious about popped into her mind.

'Er, Mattie, did you tell Ron about what happened in the Ministry that evening?'

Mattie smirked. 'You mean the night of epic bitchiness?'

Hermione tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. 'That name fits rather well I suppose.' She let a smile appear on her face.

'No, I haven't told Ron. It was pointless, we were both stressed and we were both… on form so we cancelled each other out. Like we said at the time, moving on and all…'

'Okay, well, thanks.'

Mattie nodded. 'I'll see you soon.'

She threw the powder to her feet and disappeared in a whirl of green flame.

'Yeah,' Hermione said to the diminishing flames, 'soon.'

…oooOOOooo…

Karma was having a laugh, she had decided. She came to the conclusion that she needed to do a few more good deeds and send some positive energy out into the universe – she had obviously been to self-absorbed or busy recently to do just that – because there was no way in hell that she had bumped into Mattie so often in so few days without it being some sort of punishment from a higher power.

She scolded herself at that thought, she was over exaggerating a little and if she was being reasonable and logical then it was obvious she would see Mattie more often than usual what with Ginny being her Maid of Honour and having last minute details to sort for the wedding. Ginny had a lot of spare time what with the season being won and finished and she had earned a well deserved four week holiday, so a lot of the time Mattie was at Ginny's flat.

Hermione did have an ongoing excuse of having to read endless tomes for work and it was a genuine excuse, but still, she was seeing a lot of the four walls of her bedroom and not a lot else after she had left the Ministry for the evening.

She had thought of Mattie's favour for longer than she cared to admit. She knew that it was maybe four hours of her life that she would have to give up for what she could think of as a noble cause – she really did believe that Ginny and Harry just needed a kick up the arse and she was more than happy to help in any way that she could… as long as it didn't involve…

She sighed heavily as she walked through the corridors of the Ministry. She was tired of thoughts swirling through her mind that had no end until she made a final decision. It was a simple yes or no answer yet she couldn't find the courage within her to decide either way.

In a change of habit that rarely happened, she decided to get out of the Ministry and go for a walk during her lunch hour. Normally she ate and worked at the same time, maybe taking twenty minutes to read an old paperback she kept in her bag at all times, but mainly she just carried on. Today, though, even the battered pages of fiction couldn't keep her mind from buzzing. As she flooed from the Ministry to The Leaky Cauldron and then through Diagon Alley she tried to make her mind take stock of everything around her, the shops, the people, the window displays taunting her with things that she didn't want or need but felt drawn to regardless such were the merchandising skills of the numerous shops she walked past.

She came to Madam Malkins and stopped to look at the window display. Her parents had already sent her a cheque for her birthday after she had very unhelpfully told them she didn't have a clue what she wanted for her looming birthday. She had thought of buying herself some new clothes to put in her aging and fading wardrobe and a few pieces in the window caught her eye. Acting on a whim she stepped inside, the bell above the door tinkling as the door opened and closed.

'Be with you in a minute, dear,' Madam Malkin said as she bustled past er carrying a violet dress in her arms as she went.

'Don't rush, I'm just looking,' Hermione replied.

Instead of walking down the left side of the shop taking her to the more formal, office wear – and distinctly boring – robes, she turned to her right and to the evening and party wear, thinking that if she did decide to go to the party that shall not be named she should at least have something new to wear.

She could hear mumblings and laughter coming from the room at the back which she knew to be the large changing room reserved for brides-to-be and their parties. She ignored the noise and looked through a rack of dress robes. A couple caught her eye and she moved to the next rack.

She heard the distinct sound of a mobile phone making a highly annoying sound, a highly annoying sound she knew very well. She turned and listened as the sound came through the door and out into the shop.

'Harry? Is everything okay?'

She knew she shouldn't have been shocked to see Ginny – she was certain no other witch would have a mobile phone with the Harpies' fans' main chant as the ringtone – but still, seeing her in the same violet robes she had seen Madam Malkin carrying through the shop earlier took her by surprise. She walked towards Ginny who was too absorbed in her conversation with Harry to notice anyone else.

'Why are you phoning me? I'm at the dress fitting with Mattie!'

Hermione could just about make a voice out coming from the phone.

'What? I can't hear you, you're breaking up. Are you at work? Harry?'

Hermione watched as Ginny took the ear from her phone, looked at it with a frown and then placed it back at her ear.

'Harry? Oh, you're there. So everything's okay?'

Ginny started pacing up and down the shop.

'So, why are you phoning me?' … 'Should you be telling me you love me while at work?'

Hermione smiled but heard the irritation in Ginny's voice.

'Fine, I'll come round for dinner, but you're not kicking Ron and Mattie out of the flat. If they're there, I'll come and eat with you.'

As much as she hated herself for it, Hermione's heart sank a little, for once she had been determined to get home for a reasonable eating hour, but if she was going to be on her own, there seemed little point.

'Okay, I'll see you later. Harry… be careful.'

Ginny hung up the phone and finally looked up to see Hermione smiling at her.

'Hermione! Did you…?' She turned towards the door, obviously wondering if she had missed her friend walk past her.

'No, I was already in when you came out the changing room. I take it Mattie is-'

'Gin? Are you okay?'

Mattie walked out of the changing room. Hermione felt herself stiffen when she saw Mattie in her wedding dress. It felt like her heart had broken all over again. She was shocked at how quickly tears burned the back of her eyes but she set her jaw and managed to smile at Mattie who looked very shocked to see Hermione.

'Oh… hi Hermione.'

'Hi,' Hermione replied. 'I don't need to ask what you're both doing here, do I?' she said, forcing the smile wider.

'Um, probably not,' Mattie said looking down at her dress, 'final dress fittings, you know.'

Hermione nodded and turned to Ginny. 'You both look beautiful,' she said turning her head to the both of them.

Ginny smiled. 'Are you looking for something specific?' She automatically started looking along the rack nearest to her. Hermione had to chuckle, Ginny felt the need to grasp any opportunity to get Hermione to buy new clothes.

'Just browsing, I do need some new stuff but for once I challenged myself to not go straight to the office wear racks and look for something a bit more special, Mum and Dad sent my cheque so…'

Ginny nodded. Hermione became acutely aware that Mattie was still standing to her right; she had to leave before the air became any thicker with tension.

'I'd best be off, my lunch break's going to finish soon, I was just seeing if anything caught my fancy to maybe come back tomorrow. I hope everything goes fine with the fittings. Like I said, you both look beautiful.'

She caught Mattie's eye.

'Thank you,' Mattie said with an awkward smile.

'I'll meet you here tomorrow lunch,' Ginny said as she continued to look through the rack, 'if you want some help deciding'

Hermione nodded.

'Thanks, I'll let you know tomorrow morning if work lets up enough for me to take the time to shop. I'll see you later.'

She smiled at them both as she walked through the shop and out the door. She thought she might have come across as a bit rude but she supposed both Ginny and Mattie would at least understand her quick exit.

She continued to amble down the street but had lost her enthusiasm. A squirming in her stomach had started up and she didn't like that one bit.

She stopped suddenly and turned to walk back up the street. As soon as she was about to step forward something blocked her way. She bounced off it and she started to fall backwards. She knew she had walked into someone from the feel of them and in the split second she felt like she was free-falling backwards she scolded herself for doing what irritated her the most about people walking in the street – stopping abruptly and changing direction. A second later she had resigned herself to landing in a heap on the floor but then strong hands grabbed her arms and she felt herself being righted. Her face met the strong chest of whoever had caused and saved her from her fall and she smelt a light, spicy aftershave.

'Hermione, please don't do that, I nearly sent you flying!'

She frowned and took a step back. As she took in Quintus's features she blushed and ducked her head in embarrassment.

'Sorry, Quintus. Are you all right?'

Quintus laughed out loud. 'Me, no, I think you cracked a rib or something!'

Hermione raised her eyebrows at Quintus's grinning face.

'Well, if you're being sarcastic there can't be too much wrong with you!'

Quintus chuckled and for a reason that escaped her entirely, Hermione felt her cheeks go red again.

'I think I'd best check you're okay though, you bounced very well!'

'I'm fine, thank you, and thank you for catching me. You seem to be saving me quite a lot recently in one way or another!'

'And it's been my pleasure every time.'

In a split second an idea has flashed through her mind. Instantly she felt herself frown as she thought about the possibility of it working, and whether she had the courage to put it into motion.

Quintus mirrored her frown. 'What?... What's wrong?'

Hermione was dragged back to the present. 'Oh! Nothing… I was just… thinking…'

'Hermione Granger thinking, I _am_ shocked!'

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at his cheek.

'Um, well I just…' she considered what Quintus had said to her the last time they had spoken, _I am doing it for Ginny, but Hermione, if you ever need anything for you, I'd say yes to that as well,_ and gathered every bit of courage she possessed. 'Um, okay, I'm going to ask a favour of you, but pleased don't feel obliged to say yes. All I seem to ever do is ask favours off you so, please say no if you don't want to.'

Quintus nodded his head, Hermione continued.

'Obviously you know Mattie,' Hermione waited for him to nod in reply, 'and you know Ginny and Harry have been having… issues,' again Quintus nodded, 'well, it's Ron's stag and Mattie's hen party on Friday and Mattie thinks that if they sneakily have them in the same place then Harry and Ginny along with some alcohol and a party atmosphere will manage to sort things out.'

Quintus nodded and looked like he thought the plan had a possibility of working.

'The thing is, Mattie wants me to be there to… help or something and while I can't think of anything I'd hate more, there's this thing called emotional blackmail and it's pulling at my heartstrings harder than is fair so I'm inclined to go even though I will probably go insane. Anyway, I was wondering if, and, again, please say no if you don't feel comfortable with it, but I was wondering if you'd like to go to the party with me for moral support.'

She ran through her sentence and inwardly sighed at how awkward she knew she had sounded.

'Hermione Granger, are you asking me out on a date?'

The look of disbelief on Quintus's face made every thought relevant to this situation flood her mind. Thoughts like how the word 'date' changed the dynamics of the situation entirely, and how it was unfair of her to lead Quintus on in any way because she was in no fit state to start up any sort of romantic relationship, but despite that she was still a little hurt that Quintus seemed to find the idea of going on a date with her entirely ridiculous.

She could feel her heart starting to race as it always did before she launched herself into a defence or an argument but before she could open her mouth to respond, Quintus put a finger on her lips.

'Ah! Shh! I am only disbelieving because as much as I don't believe in gossiping, I do know of your current… how do I put this without sounding like a cock, um… situation and not only that, I understand it far too well so I was a little surprised. Don't take my surprise in any way that is detrimental to you. Just so you know if you were asking me out on a genuine date I would say yes without hesitation, but correct me if I'm wrong, we would be going as friends, yes?'

Hermione was about to answer when she realised Quintus still had his finger on her lips. She raised her eyebrows and looked at him before looking down at her finger as best she could.

'Oh, sorry!,' Quintus said, removing his finger.

'Yes. Honestly I am in no fit state to start anything up other than a friendship. Maybe in six months the situation will be entirely different.'

Quintus smiled. 'Like I said, I understand what you're going through, I'm about three months further down the line than you are. Granted I'm not watching the aftermath of my heartbreak every day, but I'm treading that well-worn path of emotional recovery, too. If you haven't lost your nerve by Friday evening, then I will happily escort you to the party. I'll warn you now that I am technically at the club's disposal because there is a pretty important function on which my assistant manager is in charge of and should anything drastic go wrong I may be summoned, but apart from that I shall be there to stand at your side.'

Hermione relaxed and smiled at him. 'Thank you. I apologise now if at any point I implode and you find me in a corner rocking back and forth but I shall try to give you fair warning should that look likely.'

'The great thing about parties with someone else, Hermione, is that you double your amount of excuses of why you have to leave suddenly.'

Hermione's brow furrowed at the thought but then she smiled and nodded.

'I know it may seem a little strange,' Quintus said as he stuffed is hands into his jeans pockets, 'but why don't you apparate to the Stadium about twenty minutes before you want us to be there. We can have a drink beforehand and I'll be able to assess how stressed you are and adjust my distraction techniques appropriately.'

Hermione nodded. 'Sounds like an excellent idea! I'll owl you if my courage leaves me but at the minute I'm determined to see this through. Presume no news is good news, so I'll leave you to your day and say I'll see you on Friday.'

Quintus grinned and Hermione couldn't help but smile with him.

'I shall see you then. Enjoy the rest of your week, Hermione.'

'You too,' she replied as they side stepped each other and waved goodbye as they walked in opposite directions.

The uneasy feeling she had lessened a little bit, not much, but she was thankful nonetheless. She walked back through Diagon Alley and was determined to make it to the party on Friday night.

…oooOOOooo…

It was all a matter of mental preparation, this she had decided. She was aware that this was obvious but it was something that had got her this far. Her shopping trip had been somewhat successful; she had bought new turquoise dress robes that, according to Ginny, were 'pretty and playful'. She had raised her eyebrows at the expression to which Ginny had rolled her eyes and assured her it was a good thing and she should most definitely buy them. Ginny was about to carry on her argument when she was accosted by a Harpies fan who asked Ginny for her autograph.

Hermione couldn't help but smile as Ginny signed the parchment and talked to the girl who turned out to be a sixth year Hufflepuff who desperately wanted to make it as a professional Quidditch player. For a minute Hermione envied the girl, her time at school was coming to a close and she had opportunity and adventures in a peaceful world to look forward to. Before she knew it she found herself mourning her lack of 'normal' teenage years, but before she could travel too far down that road she remembered that this was exactly what they had all fought for. Moments like this were what people had given their lives for.

She had paid for her robes and by the time she was done, Ginny was waving the girl out the shop.

'How did you ever get used to that?' Ginny asked as they walked out the shop.

'How are you not already used to that?' Hermione replied with a confused smile.

'Well, yeah, I've been signing the odd autograph for a couple of years but now it's relentless! I don't mind, it comes with the territory, it's just… I play a game for a living, you, Harry and Ron defeated the most evil bastard ever and yet I'm the one signing parchment every time I go out.'

Hermione nodded. 'Ah, yes but you're overlooking one thing, Gin.'

'What?'

'Neither myself, Harry or Ron is Miss August in this year's Harpies wall calendar!'

Ginny stopped walking and glared at Hermione. Hermione laughed out loud and pulled Ginny along by the hand.

'Ha bloody ha. I'm trying to be serious and humble here!'

Hermione controlled her giggles. 'I know, I'm sorry and to answer your original question. I never did get used to it. I went back to school and then I went to France. Ron wrote the book and the attention was deflected to him. He's the one you should be asking.

Ginny nodded. 'Yeah, I suppose.'

She had arrived at the stadium at five to seven on Friday evening. She was about to push open the main doors to the now very familiar function room when she saw what looked like a team briefing. She could see Quintus standing behind and to the left of who she presumed to be the assistant manager of the bar. Quintus looked up and through the glass as Hermione was peering through. He smiled and held up his index finger. _One minute_ he mouthed. Hermione smiled and nodded.

She turned and looked further down the corridor. Pictures lined the walls and Hermione walked to the first one. A date in the early 1700s preceded a caption explaining the celebration playing out above it as the first time the Harpies had won the League Cup. She moved down the line and looked at the celebratory scenes playing out in the heavy wooden frames. She couldn't help but grin when she came to the last frame; the jubilation on her best friend's face was infectious and she let the memories of that brilliant afternoon overtake her for a minute. She watched as the seven women took it in turns to raise the trophy above their heads and get a cheer as they did.

'Hey!' Quintus said as he walked up to her.

'Hi Quintus, everything okay?'

'Yep! All briefed and ready to leave them to it. I'm sure nothing will go wrong.'

'But of course now you've just jinxed the whole thing by saying that,' Hermione said with a smirk on her face.

'Probably, yes. Do you want that drink or do you want to go straight there?'

'Um, I don't know really. I don't want to be there first, the fewer people who realise I'm there the better. The last thing I need is idle gossip.'

Quintus nodded. 'Okay well, if we have ten minutes to spare then follow me!'

Hermione frowned but it turned into a smile when Quintus grabbed her hand and pulled her along the corridor.

'Prepare to be wowed by the Harpies' Stadium Tour. Oh, wait,' he said as he stopped abruptly and turned to face her, 'has Ginny taken you on the Harpies' Stadium Tour?'

'No, actually, never.'

'Oh, good!'

He started walking again and pushed through a set of double doors. Three more sets of doors later and Quintus took a right turn. After a short walk through a very small concrete tunnel, a wave of Quintus's wand and a step through the door which appeared in front of her, Quintus turned to look at her.

'Okay, so technically this isn't part of what could be called the official tour but it's well worth a look.'

He turned the handle and Hermione followed him through. She blinked as the floodlights lighting up the pitch met her eyes. As her eyes adjusted she saw Quintus wave his wand. Lights set into the floor slowly brightened and she blinked again to readjust. She looked around and didn't know where she was.

'Not many people are allowed to visit the Harpies' dugout, you know!' Quintus said with a grin.

Before she had chance to react, he pulled her to the very edge of the small wood lined area. She held her breath until she was sure she had her balance and she peered over the edge. She felt both exhilarated and apprehensive.

'How high are we?' she asked, trying to hide the concern in her voice.

'About seven stories, nothing too ridiculous, we're about half way up the height of the hoops.'

'Wow!' was all Hermione could say.

She had never seen the stadium completely empty and very rarely at dusk. It was a bit eerie but she guessed that any place that was built to hold thousands of people and be a place of noise and celebration would feel strange without all of that.

'Not wishing to spoil the fun with a sensible Hermione Granger question,' she said and Quintus grinned, 'but please tell me on match days there are wards or something stopping people falling seven stories down!'

Quintus chuckled. 'On match days there are most definitely wards that only allow Harpies on brooms to cross. I'm not sure of the ward magic involved but I think it's something to do with a broom having to cross the ward first and then their gloves are charmed as well. I think. You'll have to check with Ginny. Either way, should Gwenog be so very unimpressed with her team's performance, she can in no way throw herself from here and end her misery.'

'Good to know!' Hermione replied with a nod.

'Can I ask you something?' Quintus asked Hermione.

'You can always ask, but I reserve the right to not answer should you ask me anything incriminating!'

Quintus smiled. 'That seems fair. Okay, so when you went to France and pretty much changed your life with that decision… what was that like?'

'Oh, wow. Well, I suppose I tried to find similarities in my new situation as I had before I moved. Yes, I was away from home, but I was away from home when I was at school. I was doing the same type of work that I would have been doing in the British Ministry so really the only difference I saw was the language barrier.'

Quintus nodded. 'That makes sense.'

'Can I ask why you wanted to know?'

'Yeah, I… Unless I lose my nerve, I'm about to take a major career change. The short story is I was destined to be a professional Quidditch Player after I left school. I was training with the Appleby Arrows but during training one day I took a Bludger to the head. It wasn't just your normal fractured skull, two weeks rest and back to training, there were complications and I nearly died. Some how after a lot of small miracles from the staff at St. Mungo's there was no major brain damage, I lost about a week's worth of memories up to the incident, but once I was fully recovered I had all my motor skills, but about a week after I was sent home I started fitting randomly. For ease I say I have epilepsy but it put a permanent stop on my Quidditch dreams because I could randomly fit when flying and should I get smacked by another Bludger, there was no telling what further damage would occur.'

Hermione sighed and looked at Quintus.

'Quintus I'm sorry, that's an awful thing to happen.'

Quintus nodded. 'Yeah, I was devastated and it took me a long time to get my head around my new life and whatever that entailed. Eventually I got into bar work and many years later here I am, but through varying coincidences, opportunities and a little bit of cheek, Gwenog has come to believe that I have potential as a coach. After Richard announced his retirement after the League finished, Gwenog offered me the job.'

'But that's brilliant!'

'It is, I'm just terrified of the change it'll bring. I _know_ catering management, I can _do_ catering management, but Quidditch coaching is something so huge that I'm scared shitless of failing!'

Hermione smiled kindly. 'Believe me when I say that I know exactly what it's like to be petrified by fear of failure, but if you don't fail you can't learn and if you can't learn you can't get better. Gwenog is not someone to take on staff who don't meet her extremely high standards, is she? Take confidence from that and expect to make a few mistakes. You started as a barman and now you're a manager, you obviously know how to work hard, and I reckon this is what you were supposed to do.'

Hermione noticed Quintus had blushed and she had to smile. He nodded.

'Thanks. You're right, I have to do this, I just… got scared. Oh, which you're not allowed to tell anyone about, okay?'

Hermione rolled her eyes. 'Typical man!' she replied.

'Absolutely!' Quintus said with a grin. 'Anyway, I'm sorry the tour wasn't very extensive, shall we get going?'

Hermione checked her watch; it read twenty past seven.

'Yeah, I suppose we best get going.'

She felt the familiar knot in her stomach appear.

'Come on, Hermione, you just told me to be brave, don't make me spout your words back at you!'

Hermione nodded. 'Brave, yes, that I can be.'

'And you can also be distracted so I'll apparate us there, I don't want you ruining those pretty dress robes of yours. Oh, and before I forget again, you look beautiful.'

Hermione felt her cheeks go hot. 'Thank you, you scrub up quite well yourself!'

Quintus laughed. 'I'm glad you think so! Right, time for us both to be brave.'

Hermione frowned, wondering why Quintus had to be brave at a party where he shouldn't feel uncomfortable at all, but before she could think too much about it she felt the familiar feeling of compression surround her and she disappeared concentrating only on gripping tightly onto Quintus's hand.

They appeared in the alleyway next to the Three Broomsticks and when Hermione had regained her balance she turned to look at Quintus.

'Why do you have to be brave?' she asked, confused.

Quintus gestured that she should start walking. They got to the end of the alleyway and she turned towards him.

'You know I said that I was three months further down the emotional recovery route than you are?'

'Yes.'

'Well, her name was Lucia and she was a very good friend of Mattie's at school. I didn't make the connection that the Mattie Lucia used to talk about was the Mattie that Ginny said was editing her brother's book, there's no reason why I would. So, chances are Lucia is inside, too.'

Hermione's heart sank and she hit Quintus on the arm.

'If you knew that there was a chance she would be here then why did you say you would come with me? I, of all people, would have completely understood!'

'I know you would!' Quintus said as he held his hands up in protest and suppressed a smile. 'But it's better that I see her when I'm expecting to and when I'm in a pretty good place mentally than having it sprung on me.'

Hermione closed her eyes and for a second remembered vividly two times in the past months when she had been unprepared for certain revelations. She nodded her head.

'Okay, but please, if at any point you need to get out, don't stay on my behalf.'

Quintus nodded. 'Only if you promise to do the same, you're not duty bound to be here. Emotional blackmail can go fuck itself if it means you keep your sanity. Deal?'

Hermione smirked at Quintus's turn of phrase. 'Deal.'

'Good,' Quintus said with a grin. He took a half step to the side and leant in as if to whisper something to her. 'Just go with this, okay?'

Her brow furrowed but a second later he had taken her head in his hands and was kissing her. Too startled to do anything but stand there she closed her eyes. Another second passed and Quintus pulled back, she opened her eyes again. Quintus was grinning at her.

'Ron was looking,' he said as an explanation. He took her hand and walked her towards the pub. As she turned Ron found her gaze for a split second and then hurriedly turned away and walked back into the pub.

'Thank you,' Hermione said. 'I think.'

She was okay, she had decided. Every time she consciously thought that, a voice inside her laughed out loud but she was determined to ignore that voice.

Ron had greeted her with a hug and a kiss which Hermione had over analysed until Quintus told her he could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears and to calm down. Mattie had smiled, waved and mouthed the words 'thank you' from across the bar. Hermione had nodded and happily accepted her Firewhisky and lemon from the barman. It wasn't the intricate way she liked it prepared, but she didn't think the contents would stay in the glass long enough for it to be worth it.

She decided she needed to be sensible with the amount of alcohol she drank; she was thankful Lucy wasn't here.

The night had progressed in what could have been seen as positive. She had seen Ginny and she had seem jovial even thought apparently there had been much glaring at both Ron and Mattie when she realised they had organised a joint party to get her and Harry in the same room for a long period of time. Eventually she had either realised it probably was time to sort things out seeing as though an entire evening had been organised around her, or she thought it rude to shout and scream about it. Either way she seemed happy enough and Hermione had seen her and Harry dancing together.

She realised at that point that she was, therefore, surplus to requirements and could probably leave at any time.

An hour had passed since she had had that revelation yet she hadn't sought out Quintus to beg him to take her home. From this she deduced she had probably gone insane, or maybe she was actually moving on.

The laughter in her head started up again.

'Oh, shut up!' she said to herself.

'I didn't say anything!' Ron replied from next to her.

She jumped as she hadn't seen him appear next to her at the bar.

'Oh, no sorry, I was just having an argument with myself.'

'Obviously you won,' Ron replied with a smirk.

'Obviously!'

The barman came over to them and handed them each a glass of Firewhisky. Hermione noticed the rim of her glass had been edged with Lemon. She smiled at Ron.

'You're the only one who humours me with that, you know,' she said before sipping at her drink.

'Well, someone has to. Anyway, I haven't seen you recently, I take it work's still stupid.'

Hermione nodded. 'It's settled down a lot but it's definitely intense. I work directly for Christine now so that has added to it all. I'm not complaining at all, it's brilliant, just somewhat overwhelming sometimes.'

It was Ron's turn to nod. 'Well, I apologise in advance for next week.'

Hermione turned to look at him. 'What for?'

'We finally got all the evidence needed to get a complete and thorough case together for the fuckers who tried to attack the Ministry amongst… the other horrific things. It's taken us this long because there's no way we wanted them to wriggle out of charges on a legal loophole. Every single testimony, every piece of evidence and every witness has been checked, double checked and then catalogued, processed and whatever the hell else correctly. Christine starts on it next week.'

Hermione took a deep breath. 'So that's why she told me to sleep well this weekend.'

'That would be exactly why!'

'So, wait, you've been helping with this case and when it's all about to go to court you bugger off on honeymoon! How is that fair?'

Ron laughed. 'It's not, but it's not as if I can change this holiday. And don't worry; I'm pretty sure this whole thing is not going to be tied up within two weeks. As much as we've been thorough, I have a feeling their defence will be tough and drawn out and bloody good!'

'Which it should be!' Hermione replied.

Ron looked at Hermione and swallowed his retort. Hermione noticed the effort.

'Don't take me saying that to mean that I want them to walk free, you know that's the last thing I want, but everyone is entitled to a defence, Ron, guilty or not.'

Ron nodded his head. 'I know, it's just… hard sometimes.'

She covered his hand with hers. 'Ron, if Christine has the case, there's no way in hell they'll walk free. She's brilliant!'

'Of course she is, she hired you for an assistant!'

Hermione smiled. 'I'm not officially her assistant, I'm just… assisting… her…'

Ron giggled and she had to join in.

'Oh God, he's giggling, how much has he had?'

Hermione turned her head towards Mattie and as she looked at her, she didn't feel hatred or anger or frustration. There would always be a twinge of jealousy and regret, but she hoped that one day it would fade. For the minute she was marvelling at what she wasn't feeling and was slightly proud of herself.

'Personally I think he's had way too much and shouldn't be allowed any more alcohol tonight. Obviously this evaluation has nothing to do with the fact that he is laughing at me!'

Mattie snorted. 'Okay! I shall tell the bar staff you are officially cut off!'

'You bloody won't!'

Ron downed the rest of his drink and Hermione took a healthy swallow of hers.

'How are Ginny and Harry doing?' Hermione asked Mattie.

'So, so, so much better. They're arguing!'

'I-… wait… what?' Hermione asked. Ron turned to Mattie, also looking confused.

Mattie sighed as if it was plainly obvious why Ginny and Harry arguing was a good thing. 'For the past…' she started counting on her fingers but gave up after a shake of her head, 'however long it's been, Harry has been saying 'yes Ginny, no Ginny, three bags full Ginny!''

Mattie took a breath and Ron leant over to Hermione.

'Muggle saying taken from the children's rhyme _Baa Baa Black Sheep_,' he said as if she hadn't understood the sentiment of the phrase.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him and Mattie looked at him as if he had gone mad before continuing.

'Anyway, as much as Harry has been trying to do what he thinks Ginny wants he has been annoying her no end because she wants him to be normal. If they're arguing then Harry is finally standing up for himself and challenging her like she wants and needs.'

Ron scratched his head. 'Wait, wait, wait! Women hate arguing!'

Hermione had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes and remind Ron exactly what happened after they had ever argued, but for her sanity and in the name politeness, she refrained.

'Not if it means the person we're arguing with is finally listening to us!'

Hermione smiled. 'Very well said, Mattie.'

Mattie beamed. 'Thanks! Anyway, I need to go and be nosey and step in should the arguing start doing more harm than good. Feel free to come and help should fists start flying!'

'Will do!' Ron said, decidedly not moving from his spot at the bar.

Hermione watched Mattie make her way through the crowd.

'She's a really nice person, Ron.'

She was pretty sure she had said it loud enough for him to hear but she wasn't sure until he turned to her and stared in disbelief. She raised her eyebrows at him. His expression softened and he smiled.

'I know she is, but it means a lot to hear you say that.'

Hermione nodded and before she knew what was happening Ron had pulled her into a hug. She closed her eyes and tried not to inhale the smell of him that her every cell seemed to crave. Thankfully Ron released her pretty quickly.

'I'm sorry about what I said,' Ron said, not letting her go fully.

'About what?' she asked. She had suddenly come over very hot.

She thought she heard someone tutting behind her but she didn't pay attention to anyone other than Ron.

'About what I said about Quintus. You were right, it's not my place to judge and it's not my place to tell you who's good enough for you. Like you said, only you can do that.'

Hermione nodded. 'Apology accepted. Thank you.'

'I still don't think he's good enough for you, though, but I can't think of anyone who is, so…'

Hermione rolled her eyes at him and stepped out of his arms.

'Go and make sure Harry and Ginny aren't hexing each other. I'll see you later.'

Ron nodded and smiled as he walked away. As she finished her drink she heard someone behind her tutting again. She replaced her empty glass and looked at the back of the head of the only person who could be responsible for the tutting.

She didn't recognise the dark ginger and died magenta hair which belonged to the woman who was stalking through the bar. Curious, she decided to follow her.

She walked through the bar and while she said 'excuse me' when the crowds got a little thick to walk straight through, her tutter just barged through. She watched as the woman walked past Quintus, leant into him and hissed something at him. Quintus looked alarmed at the sound and turned his head from his conversation with a friend to the woman. He frowned and Hermione walked up to him.

'Hey, what was all that about?' she asked.

He smiled in a resigned way. 'Well that was Lucia and I think she was protesting at me being here with you.'

Laughter erupted from behind them and Quintus's next sentence was drowned out. Hermione took his arm and pulled him outside. She needed some air and Quintus looked like he could do with some, too.

She breathed in the cool air and felt her head clear. She turned to Quintus who was draining his glass. He set it down on the floor next to the door.

'Don't let me leave that there,' he said with a smile.

'Ever the bar manager. You do realise that tomorrow you'll be leaving all that behind? You'll be able to leave pint glasses and tankards and shot glasses everywhere without the guilty conscience!'

Quintus exhaled and ran his hands through his hair.

'I'm sure I'll feel guilty for a while, but eventually I'll let the responsibility for all liquid holders in a bar area go.'

'You're going to be a brilliant coach, you know!' Hermione said with a smile.

'I sincerely hope so because the last thing I want to do is crawl back to the catering management with my tail between my legs.'

'Wait, you have a tail?' Hermione said, one eyebrow raised.

Quintus laughed out loud. 'Hermione that was the worst joke ever!'

'It really was but you laughed and you stopped thinking about tomorrow and how you're determined you're going to fail. You will not fail because you will throw yourself into this with everything you have and like I said, even when you make mistakes you will learn and you will carry on. We all do!'

Quintus nodded. 'You're right, thank you for distracting me with that terrible joke!'

'You're welcome. Now, I'm being incredibly nosey but what in Merlin's name went on in there?'

Quintus took a deep breath. 'Like I said, that was Lucia and for some reason she's annoyed that I'm here with you. I don't think her vitriol was aimed at you specifically, I could have been here with anyone and she would still have been a bitch so…'

'Okay, passing over the fact that you used the word vitriol after drinking quite a considerable amount of alcohol, just to fill me in briefly, if you don't mind talking about it of course, should she be annoyed that you brought someone to a party? I mean, you said you broke up three months ago.'

'Ah, well this is where it gets fun. You see we mutually broke up the first time, she changed her mind and although I didn't think it was the best idea, we gave it another go. Yet again we broke up, I initiated it because things had slipped back to the way they were despite her promises that they wouldn't and then about a month ago, she decides again that we should be together, but this time I'm smart enough to not go through that again.'

'And I'm guessing that she still wants you back if she's hissing at you and tutting at me.'

'Tutting at you? Wow, that's… mature!'

Hermione chuckled but then a flash of magenta caught her eye. She didn't turn towards it but out of the corner of her eye saw that Lucia had stopped a couple of metres inside the pub and was staring at Hermione and Quintus. Hermione stepped towards Quintus and took his hands in hers.

'Just go with this, okay?' she said, smirking as she said it. She reached up on tiptoes and put her hands on his shoulders. She lightly kissed him on the lips before leaning in for a firmer kiss. He pressed his hands to her lower back and she felt him smile against her lips.

She wasn't sure but she thought she heard something between a scream and a shout coming from the pub. After a few seconds they pulled apart.

'Lucia was watching,' she said with a grin.

Quintus laughed and slung his arm around Hermione's shoulders. They started walking back towards the pub and Quintus picked up his glass off the floor as he walked past it.

'You know, Miss Granger, in a year or so, when your head's in a place where it can contemplate a new relationship, come and find me!'


	10. Recollection

::grins:: ::falls down::

* * *

**Recollection**

She would be glad when this wedding was over, and not for the obvious reasons. People panicked when it came to weddings, whether there was reason to or not. What worried her was that one of the people who she knew generally coped well with pressure seemed the most highly strung of everybody.

Ginny was on edge, and that was understating her mood. Hermione could pinpoint the exact time that she had started to stress out: it was two days ago when Hermione had had to apparate home because the connection to the Floo at Ginny's flat was blocked. She had arrived in the lounge and hadn't been surprised to see all of Ginny but her head knelt in front of the green flames.

She could tell from the way her arms were flying about everywhere that she was agitated and probably shouting at whoever was on the other end of the Floo connection. She hoped it wasn't Harry; like Mattie, she was done with that confrontation.

She walked through to the kitchen and started pulling various things out of the cupboards, determined for once to make herself a meal from scratch, or at least most of it. She was home at a reasonable time from work and was making an effort. She had made a conscious decision to give herself more time just to relax, but still working hard to advance her career.

So the cooking started and after ten more minutes of Ginny wildly gesturing she removed herself from the fire.

'Ah! Shit! Fuck! Bollocks! Cushioning charms my arse!'

'They do have a tendency to wear off you know!' she said, trying not to laugh.

Ginny spun round at Hermione's voice, obviously not having realised that she had arrived home.

'What are you doing here?' she asked, her tone harsh.

'Um, you said I could live here, Gin,' she replied as she concentrated on her sauce that was simmering in the pan. She pointed her wand at it and the sauce stirred slowly.

'I meant what are you doing here now? It's barely six, shouldn't you be slaving away at your desk or something?'

Hermione frowned at Ginny's tone, it wasn't nasty but it wasn't joking or happy either. She tapped her wand on the cooker and the heat reduced under the sauce. She turned and looked at Ginny.

'Gin, what's wrong?'

'What? Why would anything be wrong?' Ginny bent and took a bound stack of parchment off the coffee table and hugged it to her chest.

'Because you're snapping at me for no reason. Unless of course in the last minute I've done something to irritate you, which I will apologise for if you let me know what that is.'

Ginny took a deep breath and looked like she wanted to say something. She swallowed whatever was on the tip of her tongue and straightened up.

'No, you've not done anything. Sorry.' She turned and walked towards her room. Hermione followed her.

'Ginny!' she half shouted. She knew something was bothering Ginny a lot and she wanted to get to the bottom of it. She wasn't as bad as Ron for bottling things up, but she did do it on occasion.

'What did you expect to happen that night?' Ginny asked as she turned to face her.

Hermione frowned. 'Gin… what?'

'The night of the Ministry function I arrived late to, you kissed Ron. Don't try and deny it, I saw you. What did you think would happen? That he would instantly realise that his life with Mattie was a lie and that you would have your happily ever after that you walked away from two years earlier?'

She paused for breath but Hermione cut her off before she had chance to continue.

'Yes!' she replied simply.

She could practically see the wind being knocked out of Ginny's sails at her admission.

'I tried to convince myself – and everyone else – that I came home because I just wanted to be home, but I came home because I wanted to be with Ron and live the happily ever I had always dreamt of. Someone… someone convinced me to fight for him and I tried! That night I tried. I kissed him and I told him that I loved him and wanted him and I needed him.'

Ginny stared at her but seemed lost for words.

'I waited… I waited for him to stand there and tell me that he loved me too, and when he kissed me I thought my dreams were coming true. But instead of saying 'I love you too, Hermione' or, 'say you'll marry me, Hermione' he said 'I have to go and talk to Mattie'. I was foolish enough to believe that he was changing his mind, but all he was doing was realising that kissing me was nothing compared to kissing her, because in the next twenty minutes he had asked _her_ to marry him. And unlike me – the witch who is supposed to be pretty damn intelligent but couldn't see past her own insecurities – she said yes.'

Ginny dropped her gaze to the floor.

'Does that answer your question?'

She felt tears burn her eyes and before they fell she turned and walked back towards the kitchen.

'Wait!' Ginny said and Hermione stopped. She wiped the tears off her cheeks that had fallen and waited for Ginny to start talking without turning to her friend.

'Does Mattie know?' Hermione demanded not letting Ginny start was she was about to say.

'No… she doesn't. Ron told Harry and Harry hit him.'

Hermione couldn't help but turn and stare at Ginny.

'Not _hit him_, hit him… this is Harry after all… He just shoved him a bit and punched him in the arm.'

'But no one's told Mattie,' Hermione asked again.

'I should do, you know, she's my friend.'

'I'm your friend, Gin,' she replied without thinking.

Ginny nodded. 'I know! You're my best friend, and Ron's my brother and I love you both, but you've both been stupid and I don't know what to do!'

'Just don't tell her, please. Like you said, we were both stupid and she doesn't deserve to be hurt. Ron made his choice and he's marrying her. There's no need to throw a spanner in the works, it'll only cause hurt.'

Ginny nodded but avoided Hermione's gaze. Hermione knew there was still something bothering Ginny but she didn't push for answers.

'Tell me you've made peace with all this,' Ginny said quietly.

Hermione smirked and turned to Ginny. 'Why does it matter if I've made peace with the mess that I am ultimately responsible for? No one should be bothering about me and how I'm feeling. Everyone needs to focus on Ron and Mattie, this is their time.'

'_I'm_ bothered about you.'

'Bothered about me or that I'll try and mess up this wedding with declarations of love around the time Ron's about to say 'I do'.'

Ginny sighed and looked exhausted.

'I'm not worried about that; you're too much of a good person to ever do that. But I'll say it again, I'm bothered about you and how you're dealing with all this.'

'You have to admit accosting me was a funny way of showing it.'

Ginny managed half a smile and nodded.

'I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, I'm just… stressed with all the ridiculousness a wedding brings.'

Again Hermione let the fact that Ginny was obviously hiding something go. She nodded.

'Don't worry about me. I've made peace with it, I've had to. Life's too short to wallow.'

Ginny nodded. 'I'm glad.'

Hermione took a deep breath and decided to move on from the conversation.

'Do you want some of the mediocre food I'm making for dinner?'

Ginny smiled and recognised the olive branch being offered.

'Hermione you don't know how to do mediocre, and yes, I'll have some, thank you.'

'You have tasted my food, haven't you?'

Ginny nodded. 'I have! Just don't go too heavy on the paprika! I like my face when it's not the same colour as my hair!'

…oooOOOooo…

Ginny's stress didn't let up, but Hermione was thankful that none of it seemed to be directed towards her. She was surprised that Ginny seemed to be directing a lot of it towards Ron.

She apparated home on Friday evening and collapsed on her bed the instant she materialised in her room. It was a second before the shouts penetrated her ears and her brain worked out what they were. She sat up as quickly as she had collapsed and walked to her door. It was open half an inch and she peered through knowing that whatever was going on was none of her business.

'You can't marry her, Ron!'

Hermione sucked a breath in sharply and adjusted her angle so she could look at Ron.

'What? Gin what the hell are you talking about? Why can't I marry her?'

'Because of what's in there!'

Hermione couldn't see what Ginny was pointing at and by the time she had repositioned herself Ginny had started pacing up and down.

'I… Ginny, I literally have no idea what you're talking about. But what I do know is that I love Mattie and tomorrow she is going to be my wife. Whatever you're seeing in there is all in your head. Mattie thinks it's brilliant!'

'Wait, _Mattie has seen it?_'

Ron snorted. 'Of course she has! She was the first to! Is this why you've been stupidly tense this past week?'

'Yes! Of course it bloody has. It's hard walking around with that in your head while trying to be enthusiastic about the thing you don't think should happen!'

'It _should_ and it _will_ happen. Like I said, whatever you're seeing, you're the only one seeing it. I love you, little sister, but I think you need to relax and enjoy this weekend.'

Hermione stepped back from the door and started making obvious 'I'm back from work' noises. She was throwing her shoes onto the floor and shaking her robes onto her bed without thinking because her head was trying to come up with every possible reason why Ginny could think that Ron shouldn't marry Mattie. She came up with nothing before she was shouted from the lounge.

'Hermione?' Ron called.

'I'm here!' she replied, rolling her eyes at herself for her very obvious reply.

She walked out of her room and instantly her eyes fell on the coffee table looking for whatever Ginny might have been pointing at. She didn't find it.

'Hi!' she said, her voice catching slightly.

'How's the case going?' Ron asked, frowning.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him.

'Oh, sorry, yes. Firstly, how are you, Hermione? Secondly, how's the case going?'

She chuckled and Ron grinned.

'I'm fine, thank you, tired and mentally exhausted, obviously, but thrilled to be working so closely with Christine on all this. And don't worry, the case is strong. There's work to be done on it, of course, but the Auror department did everything right. Their defence will have to look for things other than legal loopholes on this one.'

Ron sighed and exhaled loudly. 'You have no idea how good that is to hear.'

'It's not over until the Wizengamot rules, Ron, don't jinx it by presuming. Presumption is, after all, the mother-'

'-of all fuck ups! Yes, perfectly aware of that.'

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's swearing. 'Good.'

They stood in silence. 'I'm going to make a brew, do either of you want one?' Hermione asked as she walked through to the kitchen.

'Nah, I'm good, I only have… ooh bugger! Twenty minutes until Mattie leaves for her parents' house.'

Hermione started pulling jars, boxes and mugs out of the cupboards but she couldn't drown out the conversation.

'Get her to The Burrow on time, yeah? For my sanity, please?'

She watched out of the corner of her eye as Ron gave Ginny a hug.

'I will, as long as you get there early, you hear? Tell Harry I will hex him into oblivion if you're late.'

Ron laughed. 'I'll pass that on.'

She filled the kettle and as she switched it on she heard Ginny walk through to her bedroom. She sensed someone near her and she turned to find Ron leaning on the breakfast bar.

'Thought you were on a timer.'

Ron nodded. 'I am, but I can spare a couple of minutes.'

Hermione chose a cinnamon and cherry fruit tea from her numerous boxes and dropped it in her favourite mug.

'You're going to be there tomorrow, aren't you?'

It was more of a statement than a question but she sensed an edge of uncertainty in his voice.

'I think so.'

Ron stood up straight. 'You _think_ so? What do you mean, you _think_ so?'

'I mean, at the minute, because your mum all but demanded I be there, I'm going…'

'Why is there a 'but' on the tip of your tongue?'

She sighed and the kettle clicked off. She poured the water into her mug and stirred the tea bag around.

'Ron, I…' she took a deep breath. 'I promise you that I intend to be there.'

'You _intend_ to be there? What… what does that mean?'

She turned and faced him. She was shocked that she felt calm as she gazed into his blue eyes.

'It means that if the wedding was in ten minutes then I'd be there, but if I wake up tomorrow morning and can't face it, I have to do what's best for me, despite how much it may make your mother hate me.'

Ron looked at her then nodded. 'That's… sensible. I suppose. I'll admit, if you're not there, I'll be upset. But I understand. If…' he shook his head. Hermione would have bet every galleon she possessed that the sentence should have been 'If the tables were turned then I'd find it hard, too.'

He frowned and started poking at a divot in the chopping board.

'Don't keep her waiting, Ron.'

Ron nodded. 'I'll be optimistic and say I'll see you tomorrow. I really hope I do.'

She smiled and as he gave her the lopsided grin she used to melt at, he turned and disapparated.

As she picked up her mug and sipped at the darkening liquid she snuggled herself into the sofa and stared into space. She wasn't sure if she truly had accepted the way her life had gone or whether she was just numb to it all. She decided that watching her favourite film would help her decide. If she was in tears by the end of it then it was probably acceptance instead of numbness. Probably.

As she pressed play on the remote Ginny came out of her room carrying her Harpies' duffle bag and a paper carrier bag with fancy handles and intricate patterns down the side.

'I'm off. Mattie needs help getting everything to her parents' house that needs to be there. Plus she'll probably be having some sort of meltdown over an insignificant detail right about now so I'm probably needed.'

Hermione smiled and took another sip of her drink. Ginny walked towards her and held out her hand. Hermione took it and smiled.

'I heard what you were saying to Ron. I'll understand if you're there and I'll understand if you're not. Just, keep me posted, yeah? Text me or Floo the Burrow with a message.'

Hermione nodded. 'Will do.'

'Promise me.'

Hermione smiled. 'I promise, if I decide not to go then I'll let you know I've not thrown myself out of the Harpies' dugout instead.' Ginny's face turned to shock. Hermione laughed at the sight. 'I'm joking… I have no idea the spell needed to reveal the door.'

'You're funny! But not!'

'Ginny, go! I'll quote your darling brother and say I'll be optimistic and say I'll see you tomorrow. Have a fun night. Remember that blowing up pillows is a very good stress reliever!'

Finally Ginny smiled. 'I'll remember that. I'll see you tomorrow.'

Ginny disappeared in a whirl of green flames and Hermione turned her focus back to the remote control and her favourite film.

Two hours and seven minutes later tears were streaming down her face. She saw this as a good sign, but when she thought about it, she realised watching a film about a man losing the love of his life was probably not the best idea.

Hindsight was a wonderful thing.

…oooOOOooo…

It was a beautiful September day. The sun was shining and the few leaves that had already succumbed to the ways of Autumn littered the floor perfectly as if each one had been individually placed.

She had woken that morning to the sound of her alarm. After she remembered a very vivid dream – where she had been late to hers and Ron's wedding because she had slept in and no one was around to help her into her wedding dress or do her hair for her, and he had, because of her lateness, married Lavender instead – and rolled her eyes at her subconscious brain, she had made herself porridge for breakfast and watched the Muggle news channel before finally showering and getting ready for the wedding.

The wedding was at one and true to Molly's direction she was ready to leave for The Burrow at five to twelve.

As she was about to turn into oblivion she suddenly felt sick. She stopped and covered her mouth as a dry sob caught in her throat. She had thought she was doing well, making sure she thought only of what she was doing and not of what she would be doing later on that day. She had specifically _not_ thought about what would be occurring that afternoon but apparently now her brain couldn't ignore it any more.

She breathed deeply and swallowed hard against whatever was trying escape from inside her. Bitterness burned against her tongue and she closed her eyes against the tears she knew were trying to force their way out. She kept her hand clamped over her mouth and forced herself to breathe slowly.

She _hated_ it. _Hated_ that this whole situation could floor her in an instant and have her needing to be sick and cry uncontrollably. But she also hated that she was forcing herself to calm down because she _had_ to watch him become someone else's and leave her world forever. Because as soon as he said 'I do', it ended; she would not be _that_ person.

As her heart rate slowed the nausea subsided and she opened her eyes. Stars popped in her vision but faded as she took a few more deep breaths.

_Stop it!_ she said to herself, her teeth gritted. 'You are going. Breathe, head up, go!'

Before her mind could wander again she turned on the spot and disapparated.

When she materialised in the garden at the Burrow she took a second just to feel the sun on her face and to inhale the scent of a place she loved. After a few seconds unfamiliar noises reached her ears and with a deep breath she opened her eyes and turned around towards the house.

She had missed The Burrow. It used to feel like home but now she felt strange coming here. She could count on one hand the number of times she had been here since she moved back home. If she admitted it to herself she was a bit ashamed of her lack of appearances, but she just… didn't feel like she belonged anymore. Mattie belonged here now and was about to become family proper. Hermione would only ever be classed as 'a friend'.

'Knut for your thoughts.'

She smiled as she recognised Neville's voice. She turned her head towards him and he grinned at her before hugging her and kissing her on the cheek.

'If I did I'd be rich from this morning alone.'

Neville nodded and smiled.

'Why do I get the feeling you really don't want to be here?' he asked quietly.

'Because, honestly, as much as I'm determined to see this through and I promised myself I would let Ron go as long as he was happy, every second of this day is like a stab to my heart.'

She glanced at Neville and he looked uncomfortable.

'Sorry… that was a bit melodramatic,' she smiled and he relaxed a bit.

'Honestly, if I was you, I'd be as far from here as possible. At least there's only a few people who know how you feel. Unless of course you run out the marquee while it's all going on. That might give it away.'

'Well, you don't have to worry about that, I'll just be sitting and watching.'

'I think you're brilliant, Hermione. I just wanted you to know. I think you're classy and graceful and generous, but no one who matters will think any less of you if you walk away.'

'Ron will,' she replied as she looked towards the Burrow.

'He'd be disappointed, yes, but he wouldn't think any less of you.'

She nodded and Neville gave her another hug.

'I best go and look like I'm doing something important before I'm told to do some ushering. I'll see you later.'

'See you later,' she replied.

'So, Granger, how about you knock some Firewhisky back so this wedding becomes interesting.'

She turned around to see Seamus, Lavender, Hannah and Quintus walking towards her. She raised her eyebrows at Seamus who was holding out the bottle to her. She was about to respond when Seamus cut her off.

'Now, don't stand there an' start denying you don't still love him, and luckily for you I have a plan!'

'Oh, God, what time did you start drinking, Seamus?' she asked.

Quintus gave her a hug and she turned back to Seamus.

'That's neither here ner there! Now, listen, I say we hex Mattie – even though she's a top girl – then you can get in the wedding dress, Ron won't have a clue what's going on until he lifts the veil and then you're good to go!'

'Oh really!' she replied with a laugh. 'And then what? I just stand there and hope he doesn't notice that his fiancée has been swapped for his ex-girlfriend?'

Seamus started unscrewing the top off the bottle of whiskey.

'Okay, well if you don't think that will work, how about you just wait until everyone is asked if there is any known reason why the two of 'em shouldn't be married, that's yer cue, Hermione!'

Lavender snorted.

'Or, how's this?' Hermione asked, shaking her head as Seamus held out the bottle to her. 'Hermione puts on nice, pretty robes, Hermione watches her best friend get married and then, Hermione has a couple of drinks and maybe a dance afterwards.'

'What Hermione actually means by that is,' Lavender started with a smirk on her face, 'Hermione has too much to drink and finds a nice boy to have meaningless sex with!'

Hermione stared at Lavender who grinned at her. Everyone else in the group laughed.

'Hermione,' Seamus said as he took a few steps towards her, 'did I say how pretty you looked today?'

Hermione snorted. 'Thanks, I think!'

'We best head in, see if we can be of any help,' Hannah said.

'I'll be in in a minute,' Hermione replied.

Seamus took her hand and squeezed it as he passed her and her earlier irritation died. Seamus was only trying to make her feel better, even though his methods were a little extreme.

'So, on a scale of one to ten, with one being perfectly content and happy and ten being your brain is about to dribble out of your ears, where are you?'

She smiled and turned to Quintus. She held her arms open and he stepped into them and she relaxed into a hug.

'About a six and a half, although before all that I think I was a three so I could be better!'

'You know what I said the other night? Well it applies today, too.'

Hermione frowned and thought back. 'Oh, was that when you said emotional blackmail could go fuck itself if it meant my sanity remained intact?'

She felt Quintus's chest rumble with his laughter. 'That's the one.'

'Don't worry, Neville's already reminded me that I should leave as and when I need to as opposed to when I think other people would expect me to leave.'

'Sometimes you think way too much, you know.'

'Probably, but there's not a lot I can do about it.'

'True,' Quintus replied, 'but, I like you when you're sane so if you could take care of yourself it would be much appreciated!'

She stepped out of his arms and smiled. 'You never know, you might like the insane version of me!'

'Well, I don't want to watch your brain dribbling out your ears so if you could spare me that…'

Hermione laughed and relaxed a little. 'I'll try.'

She was quite shocked at how many people she had managed to avoid in the last hour. Molly had made a passing remark about how Hermione had originally said she would be there earlier but Hermione let it go with a non-committal shrug and a smile. Thankfully Molly was too busy to pursue the conversation further so it wasn't much of an issue and Hermione managed to make herself look busy to stop her being bothered by anyone else. George gave her a smile and a wink while walking through the grounds with a huge box which she could only presume held some sort of surprise for after – or during – the ceremony.

As she took a pile of napkins into the marquee (for what she wasn't entirely sure, she was just following orders, and apparently they were needed instantly because a harassed looking waiter grabbed them out of her hands as soon as she had walked in) she was very surprised to see that guests were already being seated. Hermione looked around and when, as she did so, she caught three curious glances from varying people, she left the marquee as quickly as possible. She had no idea where Quintus had disappeared off to, she thought she heard him mention the orchard at one point but she couldn't be entirely sure.

Quickly she headed back to the Burrow. She heard several more cracks of apparition as she hurried and a group of people who she vaguely recognised from a previous Weasley wedding nearly ran her over as she reached the kitchen door. She veered to the right and followed the curve of the kitchen wall before nipping around the corner and leaning against the wall.

'Looking for someone or hiding?' she jumped at the voice and her heart leaped into her mouth when she saw Ron standing in his robes in front of her. Her well-practiced smile spread across her face and she giggled for no apparent reason.

She suppressed what she could only imagine were nervous giggles and turned towards Ron.

'Just avoiding the crowds, really. I only just avoided getting crushed in a stampede!'

Ron smiled. Silence fell between them and she chanced a quick look at him. Instantly she wished she hadn't, she'd never seen him look so handsome. Ron looked up and caught her staring.

'What?'

Hermione shook her head. 'Nothing. I was just thinking how handsome you look.'

'I look like a penguin!' Ron replied.

Hermione smiled. 'No, you don't. You look great.'

She realised she hadn't actually looked at his face in the minutes they'd been talking. Knowing Ron he had probably noticed it, too. She took a deep breath and looked at him. She couldn't help but giggle.

'What?' Ron asked again.

She opened her small bag and pulled out a tissue.

'You've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?'

'I-' he rubbed at his nose and looked at her in disbelief.

'Come here,' she said and he walked towards her. She licked the tissue and started rubbing at the smudge. After a few rubs it had disappeared. He chuckled as she worked.

'I wouldn't care but I've been _so_ careful to stay clean!'

'I'm sure you have. Good thing I caught you before Molly did.'

Ron laughed. An awkward silence filled the space between them and Hermione busied herself with putting the tissue back in her bag. When she turned back to Ron he was looking at her.

She knew Ron too well to not know that he was trying to find the words he needed to say something important to him. She also knew that she probably wasn't strong enough to listen to whatever it was. She smiled and walked up to him and gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

'Have a perfect day, Ron, enjoy every second.'

She beamed at him and then turned to walk away. Part of her wanted him to stop her and say what he wanted to, but when he didn't she just carried on walking towards the marquee.

She'd had every intention to find a seat right at the back and in the furthest corner from everything that would be going on. But just as she spotted it she felt a hand on her arm.

'Don't you dare hide away in the corner, you're sitting with us.'

She relaxed when she realised it was Quintus who had grabbed her arm and when she looked up to where she was being directed, Lavender turned and waved them both over. She side stepped along the row of chairs and she was very sure Seamus's hand lingered on her arse longer than was absolutely necessary as she shuffled past him, but she just chuckled to herself and sat next to Lavender. Quintus took the seat to her right.

'Remember, Hermione,' Seamus whispered as he leant over Quintus, 'if you change yer mind abou'… what we said before, you know,' he winked and she raised her eyebrows at him, 'I've got yer back, all right?'

Hermione shook her head but smiled.

'Thank you, Seamus, I'll bear that in mind.'

She leant back in her chair and closed her eyes.

'Just so you know,' Lavender said. Hermione opened her eyes and turned towards her, 'this story doesn't end here. You may think it might, but I just… call me insane if you want to, but I just have a feeling there's more to all this.'

'Oh, Lavender, this all needs to end today. And it will, as soon as he says 'I do' I'm done. In fact, I'm done already. I will not be someone who follows a married man around, for my own sanity if not for pure decency's sake.'

'I'm not saying you would have anything to do with whatever might or might not happen, I'm just saying, this isn't how this ends.'

Hermione wanted to say something to once again reiterate her point, but she could tell it was pointless.

Quintus leant into her and she tilted her head to the right.

'Just thought I should let you know, should you think Lavender's idea of having meaningless sex with a nice boy is a good idea, I am entirely available!'

Hermione was thankful she hadn't taken a glass of champagne as she entered the tent, had she been drinking it the entire glass would now be in her lungs and she would be making a large scene. As it was she just coughed lightly and tried to stop the laughter that was bubbling inside her.

'Er… thank you, Quintus… I think.'

'Just thought you should know all your options.'

'Again, thank you, I think!'

'Always happy to help!'

'I'm sure you would be!'

She turned her attention back to the marquee and she took in the decorations and the faces of the guests and the lighting and all the details she felt she should be looking at.

She noticed Harry and Ron walking to the front and grin at each other and she couldn't help but smile. She was surprised at how calm she felt but she didn't know how long it would last.

After a couple of minutes the same wizard who officiated at Bill and Fleur's wedding walked up to the front of the marquee and asked everybody to stand for the bride.

Hermione vaguely recognised the music that had begun playing but couldn't put a name to the song. She turned and watched as Mattie started to walk down the aisle. Hermione was momentarily surprised to not see a father figure accompanying her but then she remembered a conversation she had with Ginny what seemed like years ago but was only a few months previous. Mattie's father had been killed when she was five in a work accident and in the war her mother had been one of those who had just disappeared with no trace. She still had family, aunts and uncles, and they were in the crowd, but apparently Mattie had decided to do this particular trip alone.

Hermione couldn't help but smile at Mattie as she walked; she did look beautiful, but her mind wandered and dreamed that it was her making those same steps. Before her imagination could torture her even more she concentrated on just watching and not thinking so much.

Mattie reached the front and Ron beamed at her. He bent and gave her a kiss on the cheek before taking her hands and shuffling to where he'd obviously been instructed to stand.

She continued to watch and to listen to the wizard talk about friendship and love and other things that made the wall around her heart crumble to dust, but still she smiled and still she did nothing but watch.

'If anyone here does know of any reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.'

She was half startled when the words found her ears and for a second she saw herself stand up and tell Ron it should be her he should be marrying. But she didn't; still she sat and watched. Seamus seemed to sag in his seat when the wizard started talking again and she had to inwardly roll her eyes at him. It almost brought a smile to her face.

'Do you, Ronald Bilius Weasley take Matilda Lauren Fergusson to be your wife?'

'I do.'

Tears burned her eyes and it took every ounce of strength she had to stop them falling and to not turn and sob into Lavender's shoulder. She must have moved or given some indication that she was far from okay because Lavender took hold of her hand and squeezed it tightly. After a second Quintus did the same. Their act of kindness sent tears falling from her eyes and she bent her head so as to not let anyone else know she was upset.

She heard the words the wizard was saying but they didn't sink in. She supposed her mind was shutting off to what was hurting her and she wasn't complaining.

'Do you, Matilda Lauren Fergusson take Ronald Bilius Weasley to be your husband?'

Hermione took the tissue Lavender was subtly handing her and waited for Mattie to make her vows. She wiped her eyes and was glad she had chosen charmed mascara that morning when getting ready.

'You've got… dirt… on your nose…'

Hermione lifted her head sharply towards the front and stared at Mattie. She looked at Ron who was frowning but with a small smile on his face. Everyone had gone silent and Hermione was thankful as it meant that although Mattie wasn't projecting to her audience every word could still be heard.

'The first words she said to him. _You've got dirt on your nose, did you know?_'

Ron frowned again. 'Er, Mattie, I know you love my book, but this isn't really the time to discuss it.'

Mattie shook her head. Hermione could hardly breathe as she watched whatever bizarre thing was unfolding in front of her. Why was Mattie quoting her in the middle of her wedding ceremony and why was Ron talking about his book? Something of a memory stirred in her mind but she had no idea where from and before she could start to pin it down it disappeared.

'Are you okay?' Ron asked Mattie, smiling as he did trying to get things back on track.

'_How_ could I have forgotten?' Mattie said with a smirk, her words louder than before.

'Mattie, please, tell me what's wrong so I can fix it and we can get married, please!'

Hermione could see Ron was starting to panic, and she could hardly blame him, she had, too.

'The first time you met Hermione was on the train to Hogwarts, at the end of that journey she told you, you had dirt on your nose. It's your hero's one and only tie to your heroine and he spends a lifetime on a train searching for her.'

'Mattie, it's just a _book_, it's _fiction_! I love you and I want to marry you here and now.'

'He spends his life searching for the one person who, in one journey, in a few conversations, gives him inspiration and a reason for living!

Ron shook his head. 'It's _fiction_!'

Mattie shook her head. 'Except that it's not. I'm sorry, Ron, I can't marry you. I'm so sorry.'

She turned and ran out of the marquee. Every head turned and followed her out except Hermione's. She watched as Ron stared at the girl he loved as she ran away from him. She watched as his heart broke in front of every person he loved. She watched as his legs went from underneath him and he landed heavily on his chair. She watched as his whole world dissolved into chaos.

Confusion didn't even cover it. Devastation did. Tears burned her eyes once more, but this time they didn't fall for her and her heartbreak, they fell for Ron and his.

Apparently no one but Ginny fully understood what had happened or why Mattie had suddenly got the most serious of cases of cold feet, and she had made herself invisible or gone to find Mattie or Ron or something similar.

Guests had awkwardly left the marquee and apparated away but Ron's friends tried to help in some way before he suddenly took off with a promise to find Mattie and talk her round.

Hermione had never felt so terrible.

As everyone left the marquee she had gone and sat in the chair she originally wanted to watch the wedding from. She was thankful of the silence having been hounded by whispers and hushed voices for the past half an hour.

She had had to watch from the sidelines, this was something she couldn't be involved in. At one point Harry had looked at her and seemed to ask in one look for help, but she had looked right back and tried to ask how she could help in one shake of the head and a shrug. He seemed to understand and nodded once before turning back to his best friend and still not knowing what to do to help.

But now she was alone. Until Lavender Brown sat next to her.

'Did I ever tell you about the girl who got everything she ever wanted?'

Hermione looked at her and blinked. 'Did she feel horrible?'

'Yeah, but only because she's kind and loving. And then she fixed her face, straightened her dress and went and got the boy she loved.'

Hermione closed her eyes and played the scene over in her head that refused to leave her mind.

'He said 'I do', Lavender. He said he would love and cherish and honour and obey and he said '_I do_'.'

'Oh, wench you need to stop that!' Hermione raised her eyebrows and turned to Lavender. 'Okay, Hermione, look, I may give the impression that I love flitting between boys and having meaningless sex with the ones who annoy me the least, but do you know what? It's all _nothing_ compared to what you and Ron had. I've told you this before and I will tell you this every single day of my life if that's what it takes. I was a blip in the Ron, Hermione story. As much as Mattie is a lovely girl, she wasn't supposed to be here today. She realised it and all the rest of us are waiting for is you and Ron to realise it, too.'

Hermione closed her eyes.

'So what do you suggest I do, Lavender? What's your pearl of wisdom in this situation? Ron is heartbroken and all I'm going to do every time he sees me is remind him of that fact. I may not have done it at an altar but I broke his heart first. And do you know what? I want to be that person that he goes to. I want to be the person whose shoulder he cries on when the pain gets too much for him to keep inside but I can't be, because I am the first bad memory and worse than that, everything I do will be seen as something being done to wheedle myself back into his heart. As much as watching him get married was my worst nightmare, I think I'm about to live through a worse one.'

Lavender put her hand on Hermione's and smiled.

'Hermione, you'll never have to wheedle your way back into his heart.' She stood and turned to leave the marquee. 'He never let you out.'


	11. Grace

Well, this all seemed to come together in one evening! Not that I'm complaining but it did take me by surprise!

Point to note: the last bit of this chapter is taken directly from episode 13, season 5 of One Tree Hill, titled 'Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace' and is therefore not mine. Ta! :)

* * *

**Grace**

There was only one birthday previous to this one that she had felt this miserable, and that was when she was on the run and in a constant state of terror.

To make matters worse she had booked the day off work so couldn't even distract herself. After everything that had happened the last thing she wanted was a day off, and she thought that she would just move the date to before Christmas or something similar. But when she talked to Christine about it Christine had insisted that she take her birthday off work. Hermione had tried to argue that she wanted to move the date, but when Christine had come back insisting she take both off, Hermione was well and truly beaten.

So, as well as being miserable, she had no way of escaping thoughts and feelings that refused to just lay down and die.

She got out of bed at half eight after lying awake for half an hour. She wished that she could go back to sleep, but it was a weekday and her body clock was too well programmed to ignore that fact. After having a shower and brushing her teeth she snuggled into her bathrobe and lay out on the sofa.

She decided it was probably best to just sit and watch telly for the time being until some other genius idea struck her.

It was all of two minutes before her thoughts turned to Ron. She hadn't seen him since he disappeared at the wedding, and she didn't expect to see him any time soon. She hadn't seen Ginny either, which made the situation worse. She had heard her come in to the flat a couple of times, well after Hermione had gone to bed – if not to sleep – but her knocks on Ginny's bedroom door had been ignored the next morning, so she had left for work like normal.

It was only Harry she had seen at work, and even that had been passing waves and snippets of conversation, most of which revolved around the fact that Ron had gone to stay in Hogsmeade with George (who was having to stay above the second Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes shop because the manager had walked out one day without warning or explanation) and was keeping very quiet.

As it turned nine o'clock on her birthday morning, Hermione had never felt so lonely.

Her card from her parents had arrived from Australia the day before as it had for the past three years. It hadn't surprised Hermione that her parents had decided to move to Australia 'for real'. When she had gone to collect them she could see it in their eyes that they had grown to love the country and returning home was something they had to do as opposed to something they wanted to. Once Hermione had assured them that she had no issue with them doing so it had all been very quick. Kingsley had pulled a few strings and getting into the country in the 'normal way' had been easy and settled with surprisingly few forms.

It was the only card that stood on her bedroom's windowsill, and if she was honest, she had expected at least a couple more to join it. But apparently it wasn't to be.

After rolling her eyes yet again at the morning television she decided to get dressed and go out for a walk. For whatever bizarre reason she initially thought of the Forrest of Dean and as much as it seemed bizarre, the idea stuck with her.

She dug her very old walking boots out of the bottom of one of the boxes she had yet to unpack properly (she chastised herself for still having two boxes still sitting in her room unpacked and gathering dust) and tackled the two-foot long laces on the sofa.

The floo bursting in to life made her jump, and her heart raced until she recognised Ginny spinning into view. Ginny started as she caught sight of Hermione.

'What…? I mean it's…' she shook her head and looked Hermione in the eye. 'Shouldn't you be at work?'

Her tone was casual but Hermione could tell Ginny was feeling a bit uncomfortable for one or a hundred reasons.

'Day off,' Hermione replied before tying the final bow in her laces.

'You… have a day off,' Ginny said slowly. Hermione could tell she was frowning without having to look at her.

'I do!' Hermione replied. She stood and wriggled her toes around to make sure she wouldn't lose circulation to them. She picked up the heavy outdoor jacket she had found with her walking boots and pulled it on. Ginny looked confused. 'I'm off out, will you be in later?' she asked as she did the zip up on her jacket.

'Um… I don't know yet… Hermione-'

There was a knock on the door, both of them turned to stare at it. Hermione couldn't remember anyone ever entering or leaving through the door to the flat since she moved in. She turned and looked at Ginny who looked stunned.

'I'll get it, shall I?' Hermione asked as she started walking through to the front door, her annoyance and disappointment that Ginny didn't seem to remember her birthday at all being replaced by curiosity.

She opened the door and saw Lavender Brown beaming at her. Her face quickly fell into a look of confusion as she took in Hermione.

'Hermione what _are_ you wearing?'

Hermione tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows.

'Walking shoes because I'm going walking and an outdoor jacket because I'll be walking around outdoors.'

'Why in the name of Merlin would you go walking on your birthday? In fact why on earth would you go walking at all?'

'Oh, I dunno, Lavender, maybe I want to clear my head of all the rubbish that refuses to stop running through it, maybe I need some exercise or maybe I just want to get out of these four walls before I go insane!'

It was Lavender's turn to raise her eyebrows.

'Oh, darling there are better ways to clear your head than _walking_. A day with me is one of them. Now go and get changed into something… else, and I'll just wait for you.'

Hermione frowned not having a clue as to why Lavender was offering to spend the day with her.

'Lavender…'

'Don't even think about arguing, just go and get changed and then we'll get out of here.'

'But-'

'Go!'

Hermione automatically turned and started walking towards her bedroom. Ginny watched as she walked through the flat and couldn't look more mortified. She opened her mouth to say something, but Hermione just carried on walking. Hermione didn't know why she didn't want to hear Ginny's apology or reasons for not having been at the flat for the past week.

She changed into what she hoped Lavender would think suitable for whatever she had planned – jeans and a top – and opened her bedroom door.

She saw Ginny glaring at Lavender, but she quickly pulled her face into something of a smile and walked over to Hermione. She hugged Hermione and seemed to bury her face into Hermione's shoulder.

'I'm so sorry. I just… I just…'

'Have a heartbroken brother who you need to sort out. It's fine, really.'

Ginny pulled back and Hermione saw tears in her eyes.

'It's not fine! It's your birthday, and I bloody well forgot! Well, I did and I didn't. I have your present and your card and I had started to organise something with Neville and Hannah and Quintus but-'

'But you have a heartbroken brother who you need to sort out! Ginny, I understand! I promise you!'

'I haven't even said happy birthday yet!'

'So say it and you're off the hook you've put yourself on!'

Ginny nodded and managed to smile.

'Happy birthday, Hermione. You're getting really old, you know!'

Hermione laughed out loud.

'Thank you for that!'

'You're welcome. Um, look I do have your present, it's just not wrapped yet.' She turned to Lavender and her smile slipped. 'Will you have her back here for dinner?' she asked.

Lavender smiled. 'She'll be back for dinner, I have a date with a _really_ hot curse breaker!'

'Darwood from the wedding? Bill's apprentice?' Ginny asked.

'The very same. While Hermione wasn't up for meaningless wedding sex, I was. Granted, it ended up being, having-a-drink-in-the-pub-during-the-should-be-reception-and-then-stumble-home sex but it still had a happy ending!'

Ginny closed her eyes and raised her eyebrows and turned back to Hermione. Hermione had to try really hard to suppress a giggle.

'Fine, I'll make you dinner and we can just relax out or go for a drink or… whatever you want. Is that okay?'

Hermione smiled. She felt all the anger and frustration at her best friend leave her. She knew deep down that Ginny had more pressing issues to deal with than remembering her birthday, she was just… lonely, and Ginny was her only hope of making her birthday one step up from normal.

'That's fine, providing I survive whatever Miss Brown has in store.'

She turned towards Lavender and smiled. 'Oh, just get your arse out the door, wench!'

She gave Ginny another quick hug and followed Lavender out the door.

…oooOOOooo…

They had filled their brief journey to Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks with small talk, but now that they had their coffees and toasted sandwiches in front of them Hermione's curiosity got the better of her. She took a deep breath and looked at Lavender.

'Okay, before the Spanish Inquisition begins,' Lavender said with a smirk, 'I just want to say, and I mean this genuinely, Happy Birthday.' Hermione smiled and took a sip of her coffee. 'Oh and good luck with that being old thing.'

Hermione snorted into her coffee.

'Lavender your birthday is exactly a month after mine, if I'm getting old, I'm dragging you right along with me.'

'Well, thank you for that! I may take back the sincerity in my statement.'

Hermione laughed, and she could feel herself starting to relax a little bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. She sighed and sat back against the cushion.

'Feeling less tense?'

Hermione closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

'Yeah. I think my shoulders have forgotten how to be truly relaxed though. Could really do with a massage except I left my masseur back in Paris.'

Lavender blinked at her.

'I'm sorry, you had a masseur? Back in Paris?'

Hermione nodded and chuckled.

'Very not-me, isn't it?' she shrugged and mindlessly stirred her coffee. 'It was part of the Ministry's programme to make sure we didn't all get overly stressed. We were entitled to a day of relaxing in whatever form that took for each of us. A couple of the guys got personal training in hand-to-hand combat, boxing mainly, kick-boxing, karate and whatever other martial art they fancied. A few others took a portkey to the beach or the countryside, anywhere but Paris.

'When I mentioned that I was getting pains across my neck and my shoulders one day, I was told that I should use an all-expenses paid relaxation day at one of the luxurious spas in Paris, and I did. Granted, I only took the full body massage and not the buffing, polishing, de-fuzzing and whatever the hell else they offered, but it definitely helped to keep me sane.'

'Let me get this straight, you had the opportunity to have a complete makeover once a month, _every_ month and you didn't indulge?'

Hermione rolled her eyes.

'To me, a full-body massage is indulging!'

'Well, apparently I need to go and work for the French Ministry!'

'That's a big leap just to get a free makeover!'

'A free _monthly_ makeover.'

Hermione laughed.

'Anyway,' Lavender said before taking a sip of her coffee, 'I'm guessing you are wondering why I have dragged you out to Hogsmeade.'

'It has crossed my mind, yes.'

'Well, obviously I am at your disposal to do whatever you want to do for your birthday, as long as that doesn't include walking or anything that involves wearing what you were wearing earlier. But, honestly I want to talk to you about Ron.'

Hermione instantly tensed up again. Questions filled her mind, the main one being, why was he talking to Lavender?

'Lavender, I-…'

'You can sit there and protest you don't want to know about how he is, but I know that you do.'

'If he wanted me to know how he is he would have spoken to me, himself.'

'Considering Kingsley won't let him anywhere near the Ministry until he has his head straight, and with you working all hours God sends at the minute, the chances of that happening were pretty slim, don't you think?'

'There are owls, you know.'

'Oh, Hermione stop being so obstinate!'

'Lavender you can't sit there and tell me he wants to speak to me when you have no evidence of the contrary!'

'Merlin, you justice type people and your need for absolute proof!'

She rummaged in her bag and pulled out an envelope.

'Here's your proof.'

The envelope landed on the table between them. Hermione recognised Ron's handwriting, and she tentatively touched the envelope. For some reason she expected some sort of pain when she touched it, but after she had inwardly rolled her eyes at herself she picked it up and opened the wax-sealed envelope.

'He apologises that the card isn't up to his usual standard, but he had limited options.'

Hermione guessed that the limited options were due to him forgetting about her card until yesterday, but she still smiled as she opened it. It was one thing he had always done, had her a personalised card done. He never told her where he bought them from or had them made, but they always had her initials in the main picture or her name, and there was something very _her_ about them. But this one was off the shelf from a normal shop. It was still magical, the design moved and glittered differently every second, but it was very _normal_. Part of her was sad, but it was shouted down by the joy that he had still remembered her birthday even through all the hurt he was dealing with.

She opened the card and a folded piece of parchment fell onto the paper. She took it in her hand but read the card first.

_Hermione,_

_Happy Birthday! Sorry I'm not there in person, I'll see you soon. Promise._

_Love and hugs,_

_Ron x_

She closed her eyes and gripped the parchment in her hand tightly. For a second she was overwhelmed with a complete and utter sense of just _missing_ him. It had been years since she had truly been able to relax and be _normal_ with Ron. To laugh with him and to just be with him without agenda or frustration or irritation or hurt.

'Hmm, if you're about to cry I suggest you don't read the parchment.'

She opened her eyes and blinked Lavender into focus. 'Have you read it?'

Lavender shook her head. 'Of course not,' Hermione noticed she sounded a little hurt. 'Just call it a hunch.'

Hermione managed a half smile and took a deep breath.

'Do you think I should read it?'

Lavender nodded and caught Hermione's eye. 'I do. It'll probably make my story less long winded if you do. And, you're going to anyway so stop putting it off.'

Hermione nodded and unfolded the parchment.

_I always want you to be proud of me and for too long when you came back, I wasn't someone you could be proud of. I made mistakes, and I hurt you, which, you have to believe me when I say this, (okay, write this) was never my intention. I want to hurt people who hurt you, and I put myself through hell when I led you on and made you believe there was something still between us._

_But I'm going to make you proud of me, because I'm doing what is right, and I'm going to fix things with Mattie. I love her, and I have to prove that to her. That's what needs rectifying, isn't it? You always put your heart and soul into something, Hermione, and I want to make you proud of me again. I promise you, when I'm back, I'll start being the friend to you that I should be. I promise you that._

_Take care of yourself._

_Ron x_

Someone walked past their seats and the draft made the tear track on her face cold. She hastily wiped them away but it was pointless, her tears hadn't stopped falling.

Lavender handed her a tissue.

'I knew bringing the entire box was a good idea,' she said with a smile.

Hermione wiped her eyes, nose and cheeks and took a couple of steadying breaths.

'Now, I'm going to talk for a while and you're going to sit there and take in everything I have to say, okay?' Lavender said. 'Can I just skim read this before I do?'

Hermione just nodded, not able or willing to argue with her. Lavender was silent for a minute and then the parchment appeared folded in her line of sight as she bore a hole through the table with her stare.

'He loves her still and he intends to take an International Portkey to New York to talk her round.'

Hermione's brow furrowed.

'She's in New York because it is the publishing house's annual conference and she's going. Obviously she wasn't supposed to be there and it caused quite a stink when they moved it so it clashed with her honeymoon and she told them she wouldn't be attending. Apparently no matter how low down the ladder in the company you are, you have to attend. Anyway, she's there and he's going over tonight to talk to her.'

Lavender shifted in her seat.

'He says he still loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her…' Hermione looked up at Lavender; she could tell there was a 'but' that was just waiting to appear. 'But I got him drunk one night – and don't judge me for it, he needed some way to just let go and everyone else was walking on egg shells around him, and besides, everyone tells the truth when they're drunk, whether they should or not – and he told me what I already knew.'

The seconds ticked by. Hermione knew that if Lavender didn't start talking soon she would reach over the table and shake her until she started again.

'He said that one day, when it was quiet at work and he'd been at his desk longer than he ever wanted to be, he let himself wonder about what the two of you could have again. He said that he scared himself so much because for just one minute he let all those emotions he's been locking away overtake him, and he remembered all the good times you had. But then… he made himself remember what happened between you before it all ended and he bottled up anything that he felt about you and reminded himself that he loved Mattie. Since then he's been determined she is the one. Don't get me wrong, Ron would never have been anything but devoted to the girl if she'd married him, but you need to know that he will never be able to let you go. That was the night he started writing his book.'

Hermione huffed in frustration.

'Do you know what the hardest thing about this whole thing is, Lavender?'

'What is it?' she asked.

'It's the fact that I became someone who I didn't want to be. I became someone I'm ashamed of, and I'm disappointed in myself because of that. I promised Ron, and myself to some extent, that if he was happy then I would walk away and be happy for them both, but honestly, I just wanted _us_ to be happy. Ron and Hermione, together forever and getting their happily ever after. And then… and then when she didn't marry him I was devastated for her and for him, because no one should ever have to go through what they did. She should never have had any doubts that the man she was marrying might love someone else, and he should never have to have her not believe what he believes with all his heart to be true.

'And the worst part is that while his heart is breaking, I'm sitting at work or at home and I'm feeling sorry for myself because _I'm_ lonely, and because my life isn't working out how I wanted it to, and all I can see in my head is images of the two of us when we were happiest and the ghosts just won't fade away.

'If there was one thing that I could change or one thing I could wish for, it's to actually have the patience and grace and strength people seem to think I have because I want to be the better person and watch him be happy. I want to want Mattie to take him back and give him his happily ever after, and I pray to whoever is listening that I can be in his life and not make him miserable by pursuing what I want. I've told myself I will not be that person. But honestly, I don't know if I have that much strength. _That's_ what the hardest part of this whole thing is: letting go. I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to, and that scares me more than anything in the entire world.'

She took a deep but shaky breath.

'Okay, Hermione I want you to humour me for a few minutes. Please, just… humour me. If Ron came to you and said that he wanted to be with you-'

'Lavender, stop.'

'Hermione, please, just listen to me. If Ron came to you and said that he wanted to be with you but that he needed to be sure that this time it was forever and you would be together until the very end, what would you say?'

A voice inside her head was telling her to tell Lavender to shut up and not be so ridiculous, but she ignored the voice and pondered the question. How would she prove to Ron that she meant it when she said she loved, wanted and needed him? Unfortunately, she didn't have an answer.

'I don't expect an answer, but I want you to have the answer buried away somewhere, because I believe with every fibre of my being that one day he will ask the question, and I will not have you fuck that moment up and let him walk away. You may think I'm shallow or that I could never understand the depth of love you two have, and maybe you're right, but I know people, and I know this will happen.'

Hermione shook her head. 'And what do I do up until then, Lavender? What do I fill my days with, my life with until that day?'

Lavender looked at her. 'Anything you want to. It's your life, Hermione; I think you've been forgetting that recently. You're lonely because you're being stupidly selfless. You're letting other people grieve and cope and yet you're hiding away in your work and missing out on what you need. Ron has a lot of friends, Hermione, but you're forgetting that we're your friends, too.'

If there was ever one thing that made Hermione cry it was when people were nice to her in times of hardship. Once again tears fell from her eyes. Lavender passed her a clean tissue.

'You know, even though I knew it was a possibility, I never wanted to make you cry on your birthday, I just thought the not knowing about him was probably becoming unbearable.'

Hermione wiped her eyes and nodded.

'You were right, it was. And you were right about my friends. I forget how lucky I am sometimes, and I need to get myself involved again. And just so you know, I don't think you're shallow. You prove that every time I talk to you. I just need to ask you one thing.'

'Ask me anything.'

'If she doesn't take him back, and he becomes lost and for whatever reason I can't find him or help him get back to where he needs to be, will you be there for him?'

Lavender held her gaze for a few seconds before smiling.

'Of course I will.'

'Thank you.'

Lavender nodded. 'Right, now that's all over and done with we can expect your birthday lunch guests to arrive very shortly.' Lavender looked at the bar and winked. Hermione looked around but whomever Lavender had just winked at seemed to have disappeared.

'Lavender…' Hermione said in an accusatory tone.

'Oh, calm down, there's all but six of us meeting here for some lunch which Hannah has made for us and we'll all talk about anything but what happened last week and you can relax and enjoy yourself, okay?'

Hermione had to smile and nodded.

'That sounds brilliant.'

Lavender beamed. 'Excellent, now, go and wash your face and reapply whatever you barely put on your face before we left, you look a state.'

Hermione raised her eyebrows at Lavender but couldn't help but smile.

'I haven't got-' Lavender silenced her by holding out what Hermione presumed was a bag full of powders and colours and liners and brushes. Hermione took it off her and headed to the toilets.

After she had cooled her face down and thrown caution to the wind by using Lavender's 'Instant Crying Eyes Obliviator' she applied a subtle colour to her eyes and even braved the dark liquid liner in the bag with the excuse that it was her birthday. She looked at herself in the mirror and managed to smile.

'It's your life, Hermione, do whatever you want to do with it.'

An hour later after she had laughed, cringed and giggled at the various stories being told by Lavender, Quintus, Hannah, Neville and Seamus she started on the pile of cards in the middle of the table. Neville and Hannah were getting more drinks and snacks, Seamus had popped outside for a quick cigarette and Quintus had joined him but for some fresh air instead. Hermione had blinked at him but he just shook his head and grinned at her.

She opened Lavender's card – held in a Lavender scented envelope – and snorted at the rude joke on the front of it. But inside there was what she presumed to be a poem or a verse of some sort. She read it intently.

_Make a wish and place it in your heart, anything you want, everything you want._

_Do you have it? Good._

_Now believe it can come true._

_You never know where the next miracle's gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true._

_But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it,  
you just might get the thing you're wishing for._

_The world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it._

_So make your wish, do you have it? Good._

_Now believe in it._

_With __**all**__ your heart._

And for one second, one tiny second, she let herself believe in her true happily ever after. But for just one second. When it had passed she closed the card and carried on doing what she wanted to do: spend time with her good friends and enjoy every second of their company.


	12. Resignation

Oh look, it's another one of those pesky author's notes! ::sniggers:: Thank you for being patient with me regarding my last update, like I said, I don't normally react to people like that but this time I did. Anyway, chapter 12 is below. Things start to hot up after this, once they've arranged themselves in my head accordingly... that could be fun! lol

Thanks again for the kind words :)

**Resignation**

Hermione opened her eyes and blinked a few times, trying to focus. Her mouth felt fuzzy and she remembered the red wine Ginny and her had drank last night. She wasn't hung over – as far as she could determine – but she definitely needed to brush her teeth.

She considered just going back to sleep and having a lie in, it was Saturday after all, but when she looked at her clock and realised it was already half past ten, she decided to get up and make the most of her Saturday. She wasn't sure what she would fill it with as yet; she would get to that when she had removed the carpet currently taking the place of her tongue.

She rubbed her eyes and tried and failed to run her fingers through her hair. She straightened out her T-shirt and shorts and walked into her slippers that had somehow ended up at opposite ends of her room. Presuming Ginny would be sleeping in on her last weekend off before next week's official start to the season – there had already been three 'friendly' matches in which Ginny had featured in one and a half and been rested for the other – however, she found her best friend sat on the sofa and ticking off from a long list of parchment.

'Morning!' Ginny said a little too loudly for Hermione.

'Mornin'' Hermione mumbled in response before carrying on into the bathroom.

She had a quick shower, brushed her teeth twice and emerged from the bathroom feeling a lot more human than she had previously. She had been worried she was going to start with a headache but it seemed to have been beaten into submission by the three glasses of water she swallowed before getting in the shower. She towel dried her hair and sighed as it expanded to three times its 'normal' size, pulled her T-shirt and shorts back on and ventured out into the lounge.

'You look far too studious for a Saturday morning!' she said with a smile as she walked past the coffee table and picked up Ginny's coffee mug. 'Another?'

'Please,' Ginny said as she crossed out a line of text that obviously was no longer needed. 'Feeling okay?' she asked.

'Much better now I've had a shower, and I'll be back to normal after a coffee.'

'Excellent, you'll be okay to do a favour for me when you're dressed then?' she asked.

A couple of things clicked in Hermione's brain as she engaged it properly for the first time since she woke up. It was Angelina's birthday party tonight and Ginny had a few last minute things to pick up and organise before tonight. Hermione had offered her help as she drank a little too much red wine.

'Yeah, that's fine, what do you want doing?'

'Will you take George shopping?'

'Ye-… what? Why does George need taking shopping? Surely he's not left buying Angelina's present until the day of her party?'

'Probably. This is George we're talking about. And he asked for you specifically to help him, he's expecting you at half eleven at Wheezes. Are you okay to go?'

'Um…' Hermione poured hot water into her and Ginny's mugs and stirred the coffee. 'Yeah, I just… why is George asking for _me_ of all people?'

Ginny looked up from the parchment and turned to watch as Hermione carried the drinks through the lounge to her.

'Thanks. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe he thinks you'll give him the best advice on what to buy her.'

Hermione sipped her coffee and sighed at the instant comfort it gave her. Momentarily she wondered whether she was starting to become dependent on the caffeine but now was not the time for pondering that.

'Hmm, well, of course I'll go, if he thinks I can be of some help.'

'Cool, remember Wheezes at half eleven.'

Hermione nodded and had another mouthful of coffee.

'Anything you need me to pick up while I'm in Diagon Alley.'

'Oh, actually seeing as though you're there can you pick up my dress robes from Madam Malkin's? I've had them professionally cleaned. You know I'm sure they charm these robes so that only their specific spells work to clean them properly and then charge an arm and a leg for the privilege of wearing clean robes.'

'Wait, it's not that formal an event is it?' Hermione had only been planning on wearing her smart jeans and a fancy top to the party, the thought of wearing dress robes seemed a little over the top.

Ginny shook her head and swallowed her coffee. 'No, they're for when I'm back in Wales and needed for a function, it was easier to get them done now then forget and have to either come back here or find someone in Holyhead to do it. Honestly I'm surprised I remembered.'

'Oh, good, so I'm fine in jeans tonight then?'

'Absolutely fine, yes. Although I'd wear something on your top half unless you really want to cause a scene.'

'You're hilarious, Ginny.'

'And you love me for it. Right, everyone's RSVP-ed so I can let Hannah know of final numbers. Oh, and I just thought I'd let you know, Mattie's coming tonight.'

Hermione inhaled some of her coffee and spent thirty seconds trying to get rid of it from her lungs.

'Mattie'…' she coughed once more, 'coming to the party? I mean…' one more cough, 'I know her and Angelina get on really well but I would have thought a Weasley celebration would have been the last place she would want to be! And… honestly… is everyone else okay with her being there? I'm not being a bitch, I swear, but she did leave Ron at the altar, generally that means you're automatically not invited to family gatherings.'

Ginny nodded. 'Well, apparently Ron's managed to convince everyone that none of what happened was Mattie's fault. Granted, I don't think Mum's totally convinced but everyone else seems fine with accepting that if Ron wants her there, then it's fine. She always got on really well with Angelina so I think she wants to show her face and I have a feeling she wants to talk to Ron for a bit so…'

Hermione nodded. She wanted to ask Ginny about how Mattie felt about the whole thing and whether she had plans to ever come back to Ron, but it wasn't her place to ask. She took another mouthful of coffee and managed to swallow it without choking.

'You can ask, you know,' Ginny said with a small smile.

'Ask about what?'

Ginny snorted. 'Hermione, when you're as intelligent as you are, you can't ever pull off playing dumb.'

Hermione sighed and started playing with her hair. 'Fine, maybe I am curious as to how she is and what she plans on doing but it wasn't my place to ask so I never would have done.'

'I know, but I wouldn't have thought any less of you had you asked.'

'But you wouldn't have told me anything, would you?'

Ginny shook her head. 'I… I wouldn't, no. Just like anything you've said to me in confidence I've kept to myself.'

'Well that's the other reason why I didn't ask, I'd never put you in a situation where you might feel you should tell me something for my sanity but know Mattie would have a good case for hexing you!'

Ginny laughed. 'Thanks. I'm glad you're saving me from any hexing. Oh, and to return the favour, I should probably let you know Ron's-'

Hermione turned her head towards the flash of green that had just appeared in the fireplace. A second later a spinning Ron appeared and then stepped out into the lounge.

'-arriving soon.'

'What?' he asked as he rubbed his eyes. 'Bloody soot. Ah!'

Hermione stood and automatically walked over to him. She pulled his hands from his face.

'Blink,' she said to him keeping tight hold of his hands as he tried to get to his eyes again.

'Hermione?' he asked as he attempted to blink rapidly.

'Don't make me hex your hands together,' she replied. 'Just blink.'

'I am bloody blinking!'

Hermione sighed. 'Stay there! Gin make sure he doesn't start rubbing his eyes.'

She thought she saw Ginny smirk but she pulled her face into a concerned-for-her-brother look before Hermione could be sure.

Hermione retrieved her wand from the kitchen counter and hurried back into the lounge.

'Don't move and try and keep your eyes open.'

'Can't,' Ron replied, screwing his face up as much as physically possible.

'Fine. Don't move.'

She rested her hand on his head and gently lifted his eyelid with her thumb.

'Aaaaah!' Ron moaned quietly.

Hermione ignored him and concentrated as she summoned the dust, soot and ash out of his eye.

'Better?' she asked as she let his eyelid go.

Ron nodded. Hermione moved his head to the left, lifted his other eyelid and cleared his other eye.

'All done, but keep blinking to encourage your tears. Your eyes might be dry.'

'Oh, right, thank you. I was distracted as I set off and opened my eyes at just the wrong time. School boy error.'

Hermione nodded. She watched as Ron finally took her appearance in. Horrified, she realised that she was standing in her nightclothes with ridiculously large hair. She felt her cheeks go red and started walking towards her bedroom.

'I'll see you tonight at the party,' she said as she walked.

'Um… yeah. Of course,' he replied. Hermione could tell he sounded a little confused at her brush off; hopefully he would work it out.

As she shut her door behind her she slid down it and buried her face in her knees. She knew she should have pushed past her embarrassment at her appearance and asked him how he was feeling, but mortification makes people act in strange ways. She'd talk to him tonight, ask the appropriate questions and let him know that she was there as a friend if he needed her.

Her heart sank that their relationship had been whittled down to awkwardness and second guessing what the other was thinking, but she was determined to set it right.

Once she was fully dressed, composed and had eaten some breakfast.

And found out what the hell George was up to.

…oooOOOooo…

She couldn't help but smile as she walked into the shop, she didn't think she would ever tire of seeing George finding fun and excitement by making other people laugh. He was explaining something to a child of about five or six and the young boy was giggling uncontrollably. George glanced up and saw her. He smiled at her and held up his finger, saying he would only be a minute. She nodded and started looking around the shop. It was as vibrant as ever and she couldn't help but feel energized purely from the colour and noise coming at her from every direction.

After a couple of minutes George materialised next to her.

'Sorry about that, I know it's immoral, getting the kids excited about products and relying on them to pester their parents to pay for them, but at least I made him laugh.'

Hermione smiled. 'George, as long as you're making people laugh then I have no objections whatsoever. And honestly bringing a child into a joke shop and not expecting to buy anything is very mean indeed!'

'Exactly! Now, are you ready to help me shop?'

Hermione nodded but frowned slightly. She was about to question George but he walked out the door before she could. She caught him up and walked in time with him.

'I have to ask why you insisted I help you. Surely Ginny or Ron are better than me?'

George smiled. 'I have to admit I did have more than one reason for asking you here, but I do genuinely think you'll be able to help me.'

'Okay, what can I do?'

'You can help me choose an engagement ring.'

Hermione stopped walking and stared at George. He turned and laughed when he looked at her.

'George, that's… brilliant! When are you going to ask her?' She caught up with him again and looked at him. He was still smiling.

'During the party tonight. Not in front of everyone because she'd kill me, but at one point I'll take her… somewhere… I haven't quite worked that out yet, and ask her. If she wants to announce it to everyone tonight, that's fine, if not then we'll do it when she wants.'

'That sounds,' for a second she saw Ron kneeling in front of her in a Paris hotel room and she lost her train of thought, '…perfect.'

'Hopefully it will be.'

Hermione nodded. 'So… er… do you have an idea of what type of ring you want to get?'

She had somehow managed to ask the question even though she was trying to bat away thoughts about Ron left, right and centre. She was sure George hadn't asked her for advice to torture her, but she couldn't help but think he had a point to make.

'Sometimes I think she'd like something really subtle and dainty, and other times I think she'd like something a bit more robust, hence why I've asked a woman here to help.'

'A woman who is all too familiar with Fred's engagement ring, you mean?'

Her voice had been flat and accusatory, she didn't know what George was doing, but she needed to find out quickly. She had a fleeting thought that she was jumping to conclusions and was overreacting, but she didn't care. George stopped walking as soon as she did. He had the decency to look uncomfortable.

'Is this where I tell you every single one of my reasons for bringing you here today?'

'Every single one,' she replied. 'And quickly before I turn around and apparate home.'

George nodded and held up his hands. 'Fair enough. Firstly, I really did think you would know what Angelina would like. As much as you wouldn't think so, she's like you in a lot of different ways. Granted she doesn't own enough books to fill a library and you don't care for Quidditch, but apart from that your personalities are pretty similar. You're loyal, generous and even though you think you're pretty selfish, you're not at all.'

Hermione wanted to argue with him and tell him the worst mistake of her life could be boiled down to her being selfish, but she didn't get the chance.

'Secondly, I want to ask you something about me and Angelina. Something's niggling at me and I need to talk it through with someone. Again, I thought you'd be the ideal person. Yes, Fred's ring has something to do with that as well.'

'Surely if something's-'

'Thirdly,' he said, interrupting her, 'I want to talk to you about Ron and about you and Ron.'

'There is no me and Ron!' she managed to shriek before he could interrupt her again.

'I know there's not but you still need talking about!'

She was determined to shout at him and tell him it was none of his damn business but he put his hand on her shoulder and stared at her.

'Hermione, I know you're determined to just carry on like nothing's happened and I admire you for that, but you just need to hear me out. Believe me when I say that I have nothing but Ron's best interests at heart and the same goes for you. You may have forgotten that you're part of my family, Hermione, but I bloody haven't, okay?'

She wanted to hate him, wanted to tell him that she _had_ to forget that she was a part of the Weasley family because it was the only sure way she could attempt to keep her sanity. She wanted to hate him for caring when the last things she needed were extra ties to Ron.

She hated being so confused and conflicted; she just wanted someone to show her a clear path which she should go down. She had a feeling George was about to dim the lights and add a whole host of confusing directions.

She nodded her head but she wasn't sure what she was nodding at. It was the right gesture because George held his arm out in the direction they had been walking she set off.

'Where are we going? I thought the one jewellery shop in Diagon had never reopened after the war.'

'That one didn't, but there's the smallest shop in the world just up here on the left that opened a couple of years ago. Apparently the owner's wife was getting annoyed with people turning up at his house to look at rings so she made him get premises here.'

Hermione smiled. 'Sounds like a smart woman.'

'Smart and headstrong. I know quite a few of them.'

'Careful,' she said with a smile.

A few minutes later after a knock at the door, a minute wait and then nearly falling over boxes upon boxes as they entered the tiny shop, Hermione was looking at rows and rows of engagement rings. The old wizard had left them to it. Hermione had felt the security wards go up as soon as they had stepped over the threshold so she was sure trying to leave with anything they didn't come with – without paying – would not end well.

'Does anything immediately catch your eye?' Hermione asked George.

'All of them! They're all so… shiny!'

Hermione snorted.

'Okay so narrow it down to say… ten. Or take out the ones you don't particularly like.'

George nodded and pondered over the rings. Okay I'll put the ones I really don't like on the right, the ones I'm not sure about in the middle and the ones that I really like on the left. Sound like a plan?'

'That's very organised of you, George.'

'No need to sound so surprised, Granger. I have grown up a little bit, you know.'

'If you say so.'

George started pulling rings out of the slotted cushions and Hermione started rearranging the cushions and the rings so they were in the order George wanted. Thankfully after a few minutes there had been some progress. Half the rings were in the discarded cushion, a smallish pile in the 'not sure' area and about twenty rings in the 'really like' pile.

'Well I suppose that narrows things down,' George said with a sigh.

'Can I point something rather obvious out? And probably start the conversation that was your 'secondly' earlier?'

'I think I may know what you're about to say.'

'Most of the rings you've eliminated and about half the ones in the 'not sure' pile are similar in style to Fred's ring.'

George nodded and looked around him. There were two battered and very uncomfortable looking chairs in the corner of the tiny room. He pulled out from the corner and positioned them opposite each other. Hermione sat down on one and George on the other.

'Just so you know, I'm sorry if this looked like… I didn't mean for it to bring back any bad memories. I know that may seem ridiculous considering… everything, but… I knew you'd _get_ what I'm about to ask you about.'

Hermione nodded. 'Well, don't keep me in suspense!'

George sighed and shuffled on his seat. 'I know… I know there were a lot of raised eyebrows when me and Angelina finally told everyone we were seeing each other… officially. I overheard a couple of conversations, Mum and Dad's, and Harry and Ron's and they were… I think concerned is the best word. I knew they would never try and interfere but it's always been there at the back of my mind: do people think it's… _wrong_ that me and Angeline are together? Do they presume that she's settling for second best because Fred went and died? Do they think that I'm just with her to help her grieve and because it's the easy way out? Are these things going to follow us for the rest of our lives? I just… if I marry her am I condemning her to a life of being whispered about and pointed at?'

He fell silent and started picking at the wood on the seat of the chair.

'Are you asking me what I think about yours and Angelina's relationship?'

George shrugged. 'I suppose… in a roundabout way. Not sure really.'

Hermione nodded. 'If I told you now that you couldn't see Angelina anymore, that when you said goodbye to her this morning, that was the last time you'd ever see her. What would you do? I mean after you've fought your way to get back to her, tried everything you can to see her, find her, tell her you love her again, but find out it was all useless. What would you do?'

'I…' George swallowed hard. 'I… um… I'd probably go back to being how I was after Fred died. But worse. She… she makes me feel alive in so many ways. She makes everything _better_ just by being there. She's the centre of my world.'

Hermione put her hand gently on George's knee. 'And what would you say to someone who said to you that you were with her because it was the easy way out?'

'I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.'

'That's what I thought. And if you're right and Angelina's like me, then there's no way in hell she'd settle for second best. I'm not saying she didn't love Fred, but she loves you, that much is obvious every time she looks at you. I know I've been a bit absent, but it only takes once glance at you two to see how much you belong together.'

'But if Fred hadn't-'

'But he did, George. He died and no one will ever forget him. Something tells me you and Angelina have talked about him more than anyone else. You've grieved and he will always be there but as a comfort and support, never as a 'what should have been'.' George nodded and attempted a smile. 'And honestly, Angelina can defend herself with no problem, and something tells me she'll defend you as long as she's able to speak.'

George chuckled. 'Yeah, she'll defend anyone she cares about until someone pulls her away. And… thanks… you're right, of course you are. I just needed someone who doesn't feel the need to tell me what they think I should hear as opposed to what they _actually_ think.'

'They just care about you.'

'I know.'

'Not that I don't!' she added, quickly. She felt her cheeks flush.

George laughed out loud and waved away her concern.

'Are you worried that she'll compare the ring you get her with the one Fred bought her?'

George nodded. 'A bit. I know she saw it, I think it was only briefly but something tells me that's not something she's going to forget easily.'

Hermione shook her head. She knew the image of Fred's ring was burned into her mind for eternity. Granted, she didn't look at it the night Ron proposed to her, but, like Angelina, she had seen it around the time of Fred's funeral. She knew George had made sure Ron had received it after the will had been read and she was as sure as you could be that it would be her wearing it one day. She took a deep breath and looked at him.

'If _you_ pick her engagement ring, she'll adore it. If you find something special in the way it looks and it reminds you of her for whatever reason then you can't go wrong.'

'I just want her to be happy.'

'As long as you're both happy, George. Nothing else matters.'

George looked at her.

'Happiness. Are you happy, Hermione?'

Before the question had left his mouth she was on her feet and looking at the rings they had sorted.

'So! Engagement rings!'

'Ah, ah! Sit! We are not finished talking.'

'But we really are, George and you have an engagement ring to choose.'

'And we're not on a timer, in fact, the longer we're in here, the happier Grumpy Face is because he doesn't have to interact with people. You're doing him a favour, really.'

She sighed and closed her eyes. 'What if I don't want to talk about me or Ron?'

'Then I'll just talk at you and tell you what I think. What you do with that information is entirely up to you.'

'Can I leave at any point?'

'You'll regret it if you do.'

'Well, my sanity has almost left me so what's one more heartbreaking conversation?'

George snorted. 'Oh, come on, Hermione let's leave the dramatics to Lavender, shall we?' Hermione raised her eyebrows at his comment. He continued. 'She's been helping Ron a lot. Honestly none of us knew what to do with him or how to be around him, but she managed to get through to him. Of all the people I would have put money on to do that, she was way down the list.'

'She's… brilliant. She may be a drama queen on occasion but she just… understands people.'

'She understands you and Ron more than you and Ron understand you and Ron.'

Hermione smiled. 'Apparently everyone understands me and Ron except me and Ron.'

'Wasn't that always the case?'

'Probably. Except I think people are jumping to conclusions this time. Ron says he desperately loves Mattie and wants to get her back yet…'

'Yet?'

'You know what?' she said with a smirk. 'You talk and I'll listen.'

George frowned but nodded.

'Hermione, you may believe that Ron loves Mattie, and honestly, I think that's what he thinks because that's what he needs to tell himself. But it's not how he truly feels.'

'But George, if he believes one thing, then what does it matter what he might or might not truly feel?' She was getting frustrated with this conversation she seemed to keep having with herself and other people. 'At the end of the day, if Ron is happy with her then what we think doesn't bloody matter!'

George looked at her and seemed to be thinking about what he was about to say.

'Except it does matter, because ultimately we can't ignore what we feel. Like when you realise that you like your brother's girlfriend more than you should do. Like when you realise that because there was the opportunity to act on those feelings you want to more than anything despite the fact that every brain cell you possess is telling you it's wrong. Like when something finally happens and you know that you may be entering into complicated, murky and probably unhealthy territory that you just don't care.

'Like when Ron gave in and kissed you when he should have been so secure in his feelings about his girlfriend to just walk away. Like when he admitted to Lavender that he had opened the floodgates to those feelings he still had and it was all he could do to bury them deep and ignore them.

'You can't choose how you feel about something, Hermione. Surely you know that more than anyone. One day, Ron won't be able to hide what he feels from himself and it will all come to a head.'

Hermione looked at him. She had expected tears to form in her eyes but apparently she was holding up better today than she had on her birthday to Lavender's similar speech.

'So, is this where you repeat what Lavender told me on my birthday? That I should just wait for Ron to have this revelation and be ready to jump in his arms when he comes to find me?'

George chuckled. 'I suppose that is a plan. And I'm sorry if you think me and Lavender are ganging up on you. I mean, we are, but I'm sorry if it's all been a bit overwhelming.'

Hermione managed a smile. 'Believe me, I appreciate the support for me and for Ron. I just don't want to get my hopes up and then have to attend Ron and Mattie's second attempt at a wedding. I think that might actually send me insane. I can't even imagine… anyway…'

George nodded. 'Just remember, Hermione, everything's all right in the end. If it's not all right, it's not the end.'

Hermione didn't reply but she took a deep breath and nodded her head.

'How about you finally choose an engagement ring,' she said as she stood up.

George scrunched up his nose and stood alongside her.

'This is where I risk a hexing by admitting that I've already kind of chosen one.' Hermione raised her eyebrows as George raised his hands in defence. 'I still need your opinion on it, though!'

'So, basically, the whole point of this little shopping trip was so that you could talk at me.'

George tilted his head to the side. 'Basically… yes. But I really do want you to see the ring and let me know what you think.'

'You're lucky I like Angelina too much to damage her future fiancé!' she said with a smile.

'Hey! Don't jinx things, she might say no!'

'She won't, George, we've already had that conversation.'

George smiled and took his wand out of his pocket. He tapped one of the now empty cushions and a split appeared across the middle of it as well as a set of hinges on the back edge. He lifted the top of the cushion and there was a ring sat in the middle of the hidden compartment.

'This is it,' he said quietly as he picked it up and held it out her.

Hermione carefully took the ring and she couldn't help but stare at it. She thought it both complex and simple at the same time. There was a square cut diamond flanked on either side by two smaller diamonds. Two thin gold strands went around the top and the bottom and met the band underneath, framing the diamonds.

'George it's beautiful.'

'I'm glad you think so. I kind of saw it as… okay this may seem a bit strange but I can't help it, like the two of us together were the main diamond but, because of everything that's happened there will always be people behind us supporting us and what we do, and we need them more than anything. Like I said, a bit strange but I just thought it represented us pretty well.'

Hermione nodded. 'Whatever you want it to represent, it's beautiful. If you proposed to me with it I'd say yes without hesitation!'

'Excellent! If Angelina says no I'll come and find you!'

Hermione laughed as she handed him back the ring. She looked at the rest of the rings on the counter.

'You do realise we've messed up his cushions for nothing.'

'Yeah, we properly have. Never mind, let's just put them back anywhere and I'll appease him by signing a crapload of gold over to him.'

Hermione nodded and started putting rings back into the cushions.

'George, I know I might seem annoyed by all this talk of Ron, but I want you to know that I appreciate you're looking out for me. It couldn't have been easy for you to talk about what you did today and I'm thankful, I really am. I'm sorry if I ever come across as rude.'

'It's fine, Hermione. I think I'd be a hell of a lot more than rude if I'd been through what you have. Just… hang in there. It'll come good. And if you ever need to blow off some steam, feel free to drop by the shop, we're really good at blowing stuff up. It's great for stress relief.'

Hermione laughed. 'I'll bear that in mind!'

…oooOOOooo…

Considering you could cut the atmosphere with a knife she was relatively relaxed.

The 'Sticks had been the obvious and easiest choice for venue for Angelina's birthday party, and the weather was just about warm enough to have the back door to the pub open and guests spilling out to the courtyard behind it. It made avoiding both Ron and Mattie a little easier.

She wasn't avoiding them to be mean or nasty, she just thought that reducing the chances of getting caught between them in a metaphorical or physical way was the best idea. This was why she was thankful about the possible escape out the back should it be needed.

She had spoken to Ron for a few minutes and she was relieved that their conversation had been quite normal and friendly. She had apologised for making a quick exit that morning and Ron had laughed at her for being embarrassed about him seeing her in her nightclothes. She hit him on the shoulder and he laughed even harder.

She had passed over the subject of Mattie by generally asking how he was and after he replied with a nod of the head and a firm 'good' she had quickly moved on to thanking him for her birthday card.

She had briefly hugged him after he had tried to apologise for being absent and after she had waved his sentence away and told him she understood that he needed to clear his head. Before she could fall into her familiar path of missing hugging him every day Angelina had arrived and they hadn't seen each other since.

It had been half an hour since Mattie cautiously peered in through the door, and after Hermione had smiled at her and given her a small wave of hello she had avoided the girl at all costs. Mattie hadn't tried to find her and talk to her so she was confident she had made the right choice.

She finished her second glass of wine and needed to temporarily escape the loud music so headed towards the open doors to get some fresh air.

'Maybe not a great idea, right now.'

Someone had grabbed her arm and when she turned around she saw George with a smile on his face. She frowned, obviously questioning his actions.

'Mattie and Ron are talking.'

Her eyes widened. 'Oh! Thank God you stopped me, that would have been… awkward.'

George chuckled. 'Probably!'

'Do you have any idea as to how it could all go?' she asked, lowering her voice and stepping into George a little so no one else would hear their conversation.

George shrugged. 'Absolutely none. Mattie spoke to Ang for a few minutes and I haven't had chance to pull her away from her friends yet. Hopefully I'll be able to at some point considering what I have planned.'

Hermione couldn't help but grin at him. 'You can be quite persuasive when you want, George, I think you'll be able to drag her away.'

George was about to reply when he stopped and his eyes darted to the door behind Hermione. Hermione knew what he must be staring at and was dying to turn around and look at whatever had caused George to stop talking. When George smiled and Mattie walked up to them her suspicions were confirmed, although she still didn't know where Ron was.

'Hi,' Mattie said with a smile. 'George could you just postpone any singing of Happy Birthday until I'm back? I just have to go and do something. I won't be long, ten minutes tops. If Angelina asks tell her I'll definitely be back in a bit.'

George nodded. 'No problem, you go and do what you have to.'

Mattie looked at Hermione and managed a half smile. 'You don't know where Ginny is, do you?'

'Um, I saw her five minutes ago helping one of Angelina's friends towards the toilets. She looked a bit wobbly hence the help.'

Mattie smiled properly, 'Thanks.'

George and Hermione watched as Mattie walked through the crowd to the womens' toilets.

'Did Ron come back in yet?' she hissed at George.

George shook his head. 'No, I think he's still out there. I'll go and see if he's okay.'

'Okay, I know it's none of my business and I'm not trying to be nosey or… anything else, but would you let me know how he is? You don't have to go into details I just need to know whether to send in Lavender as the cavalry or not.'

George smiled and nodded.

'Don't worry, I know you're intentions are honourable and I'll let you know if he's okay.'

Hermione smiled in relief. 'Thanks, George.'

She walked through the crowd and Ginny appeared in front of her looking a little harassed.

'Hi!' she said in shock before remembering Mattie was looking for her. 'Did Mattie find you, she was looking for you a minute ago.'

Ginny nodded and Hermione saw her eyes were a bit red.

'Um… yeah she found me. If nothing else this is definitely a night of contradictions!'

She turned and made her way through the smallest gap in the crowd of people before Hermione had chance to try and figure out what her last sentence had meant and question her about it. She sighed and decided to try and clear her head a bit. She knew there was a chance Ron might still be out the back and she didn't think she had the energy to try and make her way through the room to the front bar; she settled on the toilets.

As she pushed the door open she caught sight of George dragging Angelina by the hand away from her friends. He saw her and winked at her and she couldn't help but grin.

She walked through the door and heard someone sniffing. Her smile faded and it dawned on her that she didn't consider the possibility that Mattie might still be where Ginny had been seen last. She hoped that the sniffing person wasn't Mattie but as she took a few steps forward it became apparent that her hunch was correct.

Mattie was waving her hand in front of her face trying to cool herself down and Hermione tried not to stare.

'Er, sorry, I'll leave you…' Hermione said as she turned back towards the door.

'Don't, there's no need.' Mattie's voice was strong and Hermione turned around once more. 'I still haven't done what I need to do, Ginny can waffle on something chronic when she wants to!'

Hermione just smiled and nodded not having a clue what to say or do. She felt like she should say something, anything to try and reassure her about Ron but she just couldn't find the words. As Mattie put her hand on the door handle Hermione found herself talking.

'I'm sorry.'

She closed her eyes and wished she had come up with something more profound and to the point but that was all she had.

'There's no need for you to apologise, Hermione.'

Hermione frowned, Mattie's response had not been what she was expecting.

'How is there no need? I don't think I'm being too arrogant in thinking that if I had just stayed in France to start with then we wouldn't be having this conversation!'

Mattie smiled and her hand dropped from the door handle.

'You came home, Hermione. Whether you came home this year, next year or in five years time, I reckon we'd still be having a similar conversation.'

'No, we wouldn't,' she replied, instantly wanting to defend Ron.

Mattie just smiled and shrugged.

'Maybe we wouldn't, but you still have nothing to apologise for. After all, I could have married him.'

She opened the door and Hermione knew the conversation was over.

'He loves you,' she said as Mattie started walking. She stopped and looked at Hermione.

'And I love him, but sometimes that's just not… enough. Goodbye, Hermione.'

Hermione watched as the door shut and she didn't try and follow her. She knew of all the people who could talk Mattie through this mess, she wasn't the person to do it.

…oooOOOooo…

The rest of the party had been a lot of fun. Angelina and George had returned from wherever George had chosen for his proposal and announced their news to their friends. Needless to say the celebrations had increased in volume and merriment and went on past official opening hours for the pub. Thankfully Hannah had had no problem having a lock in to extend the party. Hermione had no idea how long the celebrations had gone on for but she knew there would be a few sore heads this morning.

There had been something that had put a damper on her evening and that was seeing Ron try and disappear without anyone seeing him. She never found out what Mattie's errand was she had to complete and she wasn't going to ask. All she did know was that even though he had put on a smile whenever anyone talked to him through the rest of the night, when he was on his own with only his thoughts for company the smile would disappear and he would frown. He had grinned when George and Angelina had announced their engagement and been one of the first to congratulate them both but made himself distant from the crowd almost immediately. It was only ten minutes later that he left the party.

She hadn't meant to almost bump into him but all the toilets in the back of the pub had been in use and she was regretting the two glasses of water she drank to keep herself hydrated. She hurried through to the main bar and had found one empty toilet. On her way back she caught Ron's eye as he was about to walk out the door. He stopped and looked at her.

She felt as if he was asking her every question she couldn't answer in that one stare. He was asking her if it would all be okay, if it would stop hurting soon, if it was okay to be jealous of his brother who was so happy. She wanted to talk to him, tell him everything would be okay… but instead she just looked at him and tried to show him she still cared about him and his happiness. She thought he might have understood her intentions because he managed a half smile before walking out the pub.

Hermione had wanted to leave there and then but Ginny pulled her into a dance with Angelina and her friends and she had to admit she'd had fun. When her feet could stand it no more they both apparated home and went straight to bed.

She woke up at a reasonable time for a Sunday morning and snuggled in to the sofa with the telly on for background noise and one stack of case notes from work.

After twenty minutes of reading and taking notes Ginny arrived and made them both a coffee and some toast.

'What time are you going back to Holyhead?' Hermione asked. Her stomach squirmed a little at the thought of Ginny going back to Wales and only seeing her a couple of times a week if that.

'Not til about seven. We're all going to the Burrow for dinner to celebrate George and Angelina's news, you're coming too, before you make any other plans.'

'Oh! Right, are you sure?' Ginny gave Hermione a look over her coffee mug that told her to not even question her invitation. 'Of course I'll be there.'

Ginny smiled and finished a slice of toast.

'It's going to be weird going back this time. I know I do this every year at the start of the season and I know I can literally apparate home in a second, it's just… I hate not being here when there's stuff that's unresolved and so… up in the air. I know Harry will look out for Ron but it's unsettling not being here.'

Hermione nodded. 'Ron's got plenty of people looking out for him, Gin, they'll make sure he's okay.'

Ginny swallowed a mouthful of coffee.

'Mattie collected the rest of her stuff from their flat last night, that's where she disappeared to. Apparently she was still there when Ron went home. He tried to get her to stay of course, but she locked herself out of the wards as she left.'

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. She knew that the gesture of locking wards against yourself was more symbolic than anything, the equivalent of giving someone a key back, but the meaning was just as hurtful to whomever you were leaving behind.

'She's moving to New York for six months. I was a bit upset after she told me last night… she's been a great friend these past couple of years and I'll miss her but she's asked that she just be on her own for that time and then she'll… see how things are. I know she has every right to move wherever she wants, I just feel like she's running away. It's so strange, I should be angry at her for leaving Ron but I know I'm going to miss her when she goes.'

'Do you know how Ron is?' Hermione asked.

Ginny shrugged. 'He's upset she's left, obviously, but I think he's hoping that if she has some space then she'll realise she's made a mistake and come back to him.

'Do you…' Hermione took a deep breath and sighed. 'Do you think she made the right decision in leaving him?'

Ginny smiled sadly. 'That's the question isn't it? I honestly don't know. If Ron turned around today and told me he was madly in love with you then I wouldn't be surprised but he believes in his love for Mattie so much that it's hard to ignore. Then again right after you kissed him he kissed you right back. I suppose if she had any doubt that Ron's love wasn't as deep as she first thought then of course she made the right decision.'

Hermione nodded. 'That's definitely one thing you need to be sure about.'

She finished her toast and drained her coffee mug.

'Do you miss Ron or do you miss the idea of being with Ron?'

Hermione smiled and looked at Ginny. She had asked herself the same question a couple of times and had never really come up with a solid answer. Obviously she disliked this but didn't let herself get too bothered about it.

'Honestly, probably both. I just know that we should have been brilliant together. Obviously I can't guess what life had in store for us, but I thought we'd face anything head on and get through it. I love him and I always will and I love the idea of us together for the rest of our lives.

'I hate that because of my insecurities and fear I threw all that away, and I hate that Ron couldn't see that I was insecure and fearful and didn't stay to try and resolve things. I'll never know if he ever regretted that decision but it doesn't matter because ultimately it's my fault things turned out the way they did.'

Ginny nodded slowly.

'If in a few weeks, say, he asked you if you could try again… would you say yes?'

Hermione smiled. She was unsure whether what invaded her mind throughout her sleep could be classed as a dream or a nightmare, but every time she revisited that hotel room in Paris and Ron was on his knee in front of her, she said yes to his question.

'Without hesitation.'


	13. Momentum

Yes, I know, I know, it's taken me a looooooong time to get this chapter out, but I do have reasonable excuses! A) I moved house, B) because of said house move I've had no tinterwebs since 18th March and still have none, this makes checking facts and the such more difficult, and C) this chapter is over 12,000 words long, there was no way in hell that was going to be a quick turnaround! So before you all chorus at me 'but if you know what you're already writing how come it takes you ages to write?' (best not to get me started on that particular review!) please take all that into consideration!

The end of this chapter sees a conclusion to this part of the story, no it's not finished but it is definitely coming to a close, two chapters left I think unless my imagination has a spasm and I end up writing more!

Reviews, as ever, are lovely :)

Ta muchly, Step x

**Momentum**

How she came to be here, both mentally and physically, she didn't know. She wasn't a fighter unless she had to be, she didn't get violent unless, again, she had to be and she would normally calm herself down before she felt she physically needed to get rid of the pent up anger inside her.

But there she stood, throwing stones out of the Harpies' dugout and trying to release her anger, hurt and desperation with each throw. She had already thrown nineteen and she didn't feel any better.

She didn't know what to do now, there was nothing left for her at home except let down and broken dreams and if she thought too long about how she didn't have a clue how to take her life in the direction she wanted she nearly burst into tears.

So she stopped thinking about anything other than how far she could throw the stones she held in her hands, because at that moment in time, that was all that was keeping her sane. 

…oooOOOooo… 

It had been three weeks since Ginny went back to the club for the start of the season and Hermione was getting used to being on her own again for most of the week. Her life had a pattern for the most part; she buried herself in her work and was thrilled to be asked to be present in court during one of the biggest court cases since the hectic time after the war. She was there to observe, take any notes she felt fit and be at Christine's beck and call to deliver messages, make lists of things that had been mentioned that Christine wanted following up with research and make sure everything Christine needed for the next day was in order before she left for the evening.

It was hard and exhausting but she was revelling in the challenge. She knew she was very privileged to have this opportunity so early in her time at the Ministry and she wasn't going to allow anyone to think she wasn't up to her tasks. This meant of course that she was surviving on an average of five or six hours sleep during the week and sleeping for as long as she could on weekends.

When she got home of an evening she usually found a pot or dish of food which started off as being Harry's contribution to the 'making sure Hermione doesn't pass out in court' movement but recently Hermione noticed a distinct improvement in the food she was being given and she suspected Harry had mentioned to Molly how hard she was working. She was determined to get to see Molly soon to thank her properly.

As she settled in front of the telly one evening – she was pretty sure it was Thursday but wasn't entirely sure, days had been blending into each other for the past couple of weeks – she jumped as green flames burst from the Floo and Ginny rotated into view.

'Hi!' Ginny said brightly as she stepped out of the fireplace.

'Hi!' Hermione said with a smile. Her smile slipped when she realised Ginny should surely be at the Harpies' weekly late night training session. 'What's wrong? Are you okay?'

Ginny held up her hands and landed next to Hermione on the sofa. 'I'm fine,' she said with an amused smirk. 'Really.'

'But it's Thursday, isn't it?'

Ginny raised her eyebrows and chuckled. 'Merlin above they must be working you hard if you've lost track of the days. Yes, it is Thursday and before you ask why I'm not training in the dark and pissing rain, it's because I was trying one of Quintus's new fancy flying formations yesterday and, well, let's just say there was a major miscommunication. I came off my broom and landed on my arm.'

'I… but… you're okay, aren't you?'

Ginny smiled and rubbed her arm. 'After two hours in the medical centre, I'm fine, however I'm not allowed to fly until tomorrow so here I am.'

'Oh, well, I'm glad there was no permanent damage.'

'Nothing permanent, no.'

'So… I have to ask why you're here with me and not with Harry. As much as I'm ignoring any other thought than you two having anything other than a romantic meal together, I'm sure you have plenty of other things to be doing than talking to me.'

Ginny frowned. 'I do miss you as well as Harry when I'm in Holyhead, you know!'

Hermione smiled. 'I know, but I wouldn't have minded if you had spent the entire evening with Harry, Gin. You are allowed!'

Ginny nodded. 'I needed to speak to you first. There's something that's been… not bothering me as such, just… well it won't leave my brain and if I'm going to perfect Quintus's stupid new formation then I need all of my brain focused on that move next time I try it!'

'Okay, so tell me what it is.'

Ginny tucked both her feet underneath her and leant against the back of the sofa.

'You know when I was a complete bitch to you before the wedding and I had a go at you for kissing Ron the night of the Ministry function?' Hermione nodded. 'It wasn't you I was angry at. Well, okay I was a bit irritated because I'd seen you and I didn't know whether to tell Mattie or not and I was annoyed at Ron, too because he just kissed you right back. I mean you technically did nothing wrong and if Ron had walked away straight away then he wouldn't have either. But he didn't.'

Hermione tried to stop the memories of that kiss from invading her brain but she couldn't. She closed her eyes for only a second but she was right back in the main street of Hogsmeade hoping all her dreams were about to come true. Before the tears could form in her eyes she took a deep breath and focused on Ginny.

'No,' she said, her voice barely above a whisper, 'he didn't.'

'Anyway, that was only half of the problem. Ron had given me his book to read and after the first four chapters you could tell he was writing another plot entirely to the one that he thought he was writing.'

Hermione nodded, she had a feeling Ginny was about to own up to the conversation she heard them having when she arrived home from work, what seemed like months ago.

'And you told him he couldn't marry her,' she said simply.

Ginny frowned. 'How did you…?'

'I overheard you. In fact as soon as I Apparated into my room and opened my eyes it was the first thing I heard. I promise I didn't mean to eavesdrop and I know I should have made myself known right away it's just… well, you can probably understand why I wanted to hear what else there was to say.'

Ginny shifted in her seat. 'Oh. Right. Are you annoyed that I didn't tell you what I thought?'

Hermione smiled and shook her head. 'Gin, what good would it have done? What good did me knowing do? Granted I didn't know it was the book that made you think that but it didn't matter, really. You thought that Ron shouldn't marry Mattie and it sent my mind racing for a good while, but at the end of the day, Ron stood in front of all his friends and family and told her he wanted her to be his wife.' Ginny looked at her and Hermione sighed. 'I just don't see how she's ignoring that.'

'Maybe sometimes you just know something's wrong.'

'Looking at him since the wedding I think it's obvious who he loves, Gin and if Mattie could see him, she'd know, too.'

Ginny smiled. 'Yeah… she would.'

…oooOOOooo…

The following Saturday Hermione was cheering loudly along with Harry, George, Angelina and Ron at the opening match of the Harpies' season. She couldn't help but notice that Ron was a bit lacklustre in his celebrations when Ginny scored but apart from that he seemed okay.

Hermione watched as Ginny scored her eleventh goal and she decided to bring Ron into conversation.

'You got your schedule for court, didn't you?'

Ron nodded. 'Yeah, the date's stamped in my mind eleven days from today, can't wait to get up there and tell them exactly what happened.'

Hermione smiled. 'Good. You are prepared for their defence trying to unsettle you, though, aren't you?'

Hermione saw Ginny be barged off course by the opposition's Beater and she winced and waited while Ron shouted the obligatory abuse at the player.

'Of course! I've testified when that cock's been defending before. He tries to wind me up but it doesn't work.'

'Good. Keep it that way. We don't need them gaining any advantage whatsoever.'

'Nah, they won't, Christine's doing a brilliant job, and you must be, too if she keeps giving you a seat in court.'

Hermione smiled and clapped as Ginny scored once more. 'Well obviously my note-taking skills are second to none; they got you through your exams, after all!'

Ron laughed and Hermione's heart soared. She hadn't heard him laugh for a long time and she didn't realise how much she had missed it. But all too soon she could practically see him withdrawing into himself again.

'It'll be okay, you know. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to.'

She wasn't sure if she'd overstepped the mark in bringing up his obvious unhappiness but she needed to say something to show that she still cared about him.

He swallowed hard and nodded. 'I know. The waiting's unbearable though.'

Hermione nodded. She couldn't agree more.

After the Harpies had won the match by one hundred and thirty points and they had congratulated the top scorer on a season opener for a decade she went back home and tried to relax.

But a thought had attached itself to her brain and it was refusing to let go. Some might call her crazy, others sadistic because of what she was about to do but she _had_to. She found some parchment and her most battered and used quill and started writing.

After five minutes writing and another ten pondering over every word choice she had made she rolled up the letter and sealed it with a tap of her wand. She knew the letter had to reach its destination quickly before she lost her nerve. She hurried to her bedroom and opened a very well thumbed copy of the book that would give her answers. She turned the first few pages and scanned down the pages until she found the address she sought.

_'All correspondents received will be distributed to our international offices within an hour of arrival whether by Floo or Owl. Please no unrepresented manuscripts._

Hermione ran back into the lounge and threw the Floo powder into the fireplace. She shouted the address she had just read and as if in slow motion she saw the scroll leave her hand and disappear in an instant in the green flames.

She collapsed in a heap on the floor and was comforted in the fact that she was no longer a selfish person, because she had just put Ron's happiness before her own.

Even if it meant she would hate herself for years to come.

As she was cleaning up after her rather late dinner the flames in the fireplace caught her eye. She was shocked as she had been expecting to be ignored, but as she walked through the lounge and her eyes fell upon the large parcel sitting innocently on the floor it became apparent that her letter had been answered.

She untied the string that held a letter to the parcel and she unfolded the parchment.

_Hermione,_

I appreciate you trying to help, I know what it must have taken, but when all's said and done, there is only one decision to be made when it comes to Ron, and it's not my decision to make.

Read his book, and when you're finished you'll realise it's you who has to decide what to do next. I've made my decision, now make yours.

Matilda.

She stared at the parchment and then her eyes flickered to the parcel still on the floor.

An internal war was raging inside her head. She was scared about what she could be about to read, whether she was about to see what other people had said was plainly obvious or whether, like Ron, she'd still be convinced of his love for Mattie. Either way she didn't think the outcome would be a happy one. She left it on the floor and carried on washing and drying her dishes. She could do both with two waves of her wand but she needed to occupy herself with someone as she worked out whether to read the book or not.

She had never washed and dried ten pieces of kitchenware so thoroughly in her life, but when she could waste no more time she walked through to the lounge and stared at the neatly wrapped package on the floor.

'Oh, for God's sake!'

She stood and grabbed the package. Paper and string went flying to the ground and she stared at the neatly bound stack of parchment in her hands.

_**The Journey**_

_by_

_Ronald Bilius Weasley_

She turned over the front cover and the words 'FOREWORD NEEDED' caught her eye. She smiled without thinking remembering how long it had taken Ron to come up with the few words stating who his first book was dedicated to. Granted it was difficult to sum up the lives of all those people lost in the war in a few sentences but it didn't surprise her that the foreword of this book had yet to be written.

She put the book down on the sofa, poured herself a glass of red wine and made her way back to the lounge. She sat down and glared at the book while sipping at her wine.

'Come on, Hermione, you love books. You're never scared of what a book contains!'

A minute later she was still staring.

'Why are you even hesitating? You know you'll end up reading it so just start!'

She sipped her wine again and continued to glare at the nonexistent foreword. After two solid minutes of sipping and glaring she rolled her eyes at herself and put her wine glass on the floor. She grabbed the book and settled herself in for a night's reading.

'Here goes nothing.'

It had been years since she read through the night and it was only as the birds started their dawn chorus that she realised how much time had flown. It didn't deter her, although she may have cast a silencing charm to shut the birds up, and a few hours later she turned the final page of the book.

She stared at the back cover, hoping there was a final note that told her exactly what the thousands of words she had just read meant. But there wasn't, so she had to try and work things out for herself. Except there was nothing to work out if she was honest with herself, because she could see exactly what Ginny had seen.

She flicked back a couple of pages and re-read the final paragraph.

_He didn't care that people thought him ridiculous, or that they thought he was wasting his life waiting for a dream that would never materialise, because regardless of whether he would ever find what he was looking for, the pure hope that it _might_ happen was enough to give him faith in all the things he had lost faith in before: destiny, fate and most of all love._

She read it over and over again until she could say the passage by heart. She leant her head on the sofa and closed her eyes. She could feel sleep trying to overtake her and she didn't want to fight it. Her brain was still trying to analyse everything she had read but her thoughts were becoming jumbled and confused. Before she gave herself to sleep three words escaped her.

'I'm sorry, Ron.'

…oooOOOooo…

Eleven days later and Ron was standing in front of all the members of the Wizengamot, the heads of the Aurors and Department of Magical Law, the Minister for Magic, a select few members of the press and a few of his Auror peers telling his version of events from that evening where he saw torture and death play out in front of him and was powerless to stop it.

Hermione had to admit he had recovered well from seeing what he had seen, since he had started work with the Aurors he had learnt to cope with anything he'd had to be a part of. The counsellor he had been assigned after the first 'incident' he had witnessed had helped him to arrange his thoughts and organise them so he had some sort of control over how he dealt with the evil things he saw. Hermione hadn't learnt this from Ron, but from Harry. She wished she had been the one to have that conversation with him but when you're in a different country things tend to be missed even with the best of intentions.

She took notes as Christine questioned him; he was articulate and everything he said matched all the statements he had given at the time. He didn't look rehearsed but natural. Hermione was proud of him.

After fifteen minutes of questions from Christine she sat down and handed over to the defence. Horatio White stood and smirked as he turned to Ron.

'Mr. Weasley at any point during that evening where you hit by any befuddlement spell of any kind?'

Ron shook his head. 'No, I was disarmed and magically tied up but never stupefied or confounded.'

'And you weren't struck on your head or received any type of head injury.'

'None. I was punched in the stomach to wind me and stop me calling out and after I got my breath back they silenced me. No head injury at all. I thought myself somewhat lucky.'

'Compared to…' White prompted.

Ron frowned. 'Compared to the poor bastard who'd been Imperiused in front of me and set on fire.'

His tone was flat with no emotion. Hermione looked at him, waiting to see if he would look over at either her or Christine for some sign of encouragement or 'calm down' look. He didn't look over to them, just kept staring at White.

White nodded and smirked. He carried on questioning Ron for a further few minutes. Just as Hermione thought the questioning was coming to an end White looked at Ron.

'Have you always thought your memory recall good, Ron?'

Ron frowned and gave a half smile. 'Yes, I have.'

'And there's been nothing recently that may have made you become… forgetful?'

Ron frowned deeper and tilted his head to the left.

'I'm not sure if I follow you.'

Hermione had a fleeting thought and had a suspicion she thought where the defence might be going. She prayed to Merlin she was wrong.

'There's been no personal circumstances… family crises or the such that would cause great upset?'

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. She hoped Ron's composure would hold. He smirked as he realised what White meant.

'None that would cause me to lose my memory and affect any of my evidence, no.'

'So you're saying that being left at the altar has had no effect on your ability to work as an Auror or affect your evidence for this trial?'

Christine started to stand and argue against the question. The Head of the Wizengamot holding his hand up stopped her.

'The prosecution's comments are not needed. Auror Weasley you do not need to answer that question, as it has no relevance to what we are here to decide. I heavily suggest the defence come up with a relevant question or the witness will be dismissed.

Hermione sighed. As much as the question wasn't relevant, it had brought up the possibility that Ron's evidence might not be completely accurate. She looked at Ron whose smirk had become wider.

'I will answer the question actually,' he glanced over at Christine and Hermione as if waiting for an objection from either of them. Hermione glanced at Christine who hadn't moved. 'As it has been pointed out my current ability to work as an Auror has nothing to do with why I'm standing in this court room, but just in case you are curious, generally my ability is related to how much I've eaten for breakfast that morning. Thankfully the cafeteria in this fine Ministry building is second to none so my abilities are fully fed daily.'

A few sniggers went around the crowds watching.

'Does my ridiculous response answer your ridiculous question, Horatio?'

White glared at Ron.

'No further questions.'

Hermione smiled but breathed a huge sigh of relief.

…oooOOOooo…

She knew taking a nap at lunchtime was hardly professional but she was sure she wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last to do it. She went through to one of the 'comfy' rooms of the cafeteria and found the most battered and soft chair, which was in the corner of the room. She turned it so it was half obscured from view as soon as you walked in and curled up.

She had just found a comfortable position and closed her eyes when the door opened and two sets of footsteps made their way across to the other corner.

'You just need to let it go, Ron, for the time being anyway. That's what she wants and hassling her isn't going to help the situation.'

Hermione's eyes sprung open but she didn't move a muscle. She would recognise Harry's voice anywhere and even the sound of the two of them collapsing into a sofa sounded familiar.

'I know, it's just so bloody frustrating. I only want to know if she's okay and whether she's had any more thoughts about… anything. It's been over a month since I last heard from her! I want her to question me and tell me her insecurities or worries but instead she's just sitting in New York all alone.'

'Like I said,' Harry said with a sigh, 'she's doing what she wants and I think we can guarantee you'll be the main thing she's thinking about. You have to let her come to her own decision because she needs to work out by herself that it's you she wants.'

She didn't hear Ron respond and a second later the door had opened and one of the junior Aurors had told Harry and Ron that the Minister needed to see them. They both left the room and Hermione closed her eyes again.

She sighed and thought about what Harry had just said. Obviously Ron had tried to contact Mattie in New York and he had probably been ignored. She realised then that it was probably a miracle Mattie responded to her letter at all.

After deciding there was no point in over-analysing Harry and Ron's conversation anymore she shut her eyes and managed to get half an hour's sleep.

When her watch started shouting at her to wake up she straightened out her clothes and walked back down to the courtrooms.

Harry and Ron were nowhere to be seen but they didn't have to be in court any more today. Harry was due to stand as a witness tomorrow and she knew Ron would be here, too.

She walked into the court and Christine smiled at her.

'I've just been looking over your notes so far.' Instantly her stomach squirmed. She wasn't surprised at her instant reaction to someone looking at and judging her work, but she took Christine's smile to mean she was relatively happy. 'I'm very impressed. You seem to pick up on the same things I do and write them all down logically. Excellent.'

Hermione smiled. 'I'm glad they're helpful to you.'

'Very. But don't be too crestfallen if over the next week or two your notes become impossible for even you to comprehend at the end of the day.' Hermione frowned and Christine chuckled. 'We've had it easy so far. Chambers, Adams, Brotherton and Weasley were solid witnesses; the only hiccup was Horatio's dig at Weasley's love life, which he handled very well. Potter will be the same tomorrow but after that is when things could get messy. Don't be too bothered if you miss the occasional thing or if the paperwork side of things looks as if it's going awry.'

Hermione's frown deepened. 'Christine, I'm more than happy to step aside if you want someone more experienced in here with you. I'm honoured you asked me to be here but I understand completely-.'

Christine held up a hand to quieten her. 'Hermione, you're doing brilliantly and even with years of experience I doubt anyone would cope properly with what I expect to come. Have a bit more confidence in your abilities, but please try and get some more sleep. Half an hour extra at lunchtime rarely helps in the long run.'

Christine was smiling but Hermione knew to take her advice without question.

'Of course.'

She was encouraged that the situation could only get better. She had no more books to keep her up through the night after all.

…oooOOOooo…

The court was a lot busier than it had been previously and Hermione had rolled her eyes a bit when it became apparent that the extra press inside the courtroom were only there because Harry Potter was testifying. The case was – in Hermione's opinion – the most news worthy thing going on in the Wizarding World and should be covered by every newspaper and magazine going, but only today as Harry took the stand did every newspaper and magazine seem to accept their invitation to be here and report.

The Wizengamot filed in and everyone stood until they had seated themselves. Hermione saw out of the corner of her eye Christine straighten out her pile of parchment and her list of notes and questions that she would need for Harry's questioning. After the formalities had been seen, Harry was called to testify. Christine had warned him that he would be on the stand for three, maybe four hours and that was if Horatio was just going through the motions and not contesting his evidence too much. However, after Ron had made a fool of him two days previous, chances were he'd try and get his own back on Harry.

Harry was expecting the onslaught of ridiculous questions and neither Hermione nor Christine were worried, but she could still feel the tension in the air.

Harry had been answering Christine's questions for an hour and things were going well. Like Ron, Harry had been clear and concise and his answers matched with his original statements to the Ministry.

An hour and twenty minutes into the questioning Hermione was tapped on the shoulder. She turned around and saw one of the court wardens. He smiled and handed her a scroll before silently disappearing.

As Christine was in full flow of questioning Harry, Hermione opened the scroll and read it.

_Miss Ginevra Weasley has been injured during training, Mister Potter is first on her list of emergency contacts. Please inform him of the situation._

Hermione frowned at the bizarre tone of the note and looked to the bottom of the parchment. She read that the note had been written by an enchanted quill at the Stadium which reported such matters.

She knew she had to tell Christine who would decide what to do. She wasn't hopeful that Harry would be allowed to leave the stand, but she at least could let Ron know.

Hermione picked up her quill and placed it over the top corner of Christine's notes. It was their only silent signal between them and meant that something important had come up that needed dealing with. Hermione was a little nervous as this was the first time she'd had to use it.

A minute later Christine looked down at her notes and moved the quill off her notes, telling Hermione that she understood something had come up and would break from questioning when she could.

After another couple of minutes of Harry talking about how he had been tipped off about the whole 'situation' he had found himself in he asked if he could have a glass of water.

'Of course,' Christine had replied. 'I might join you.'

She sat down next to Hermione and poured herself a glass of water from the jug sat on the bench. Hermione held out the note to Christine and she quickly read it as she took a drink from her glass.

'You and Weasley go and see her, Weasley isn't needed anymore so he can stay for as long as he is allowed, you I expect back in half an hour. Tell Roberts to take your place and I shall tell Potter as soon as he's finished. He can't leave until he's done.'

Hermione nodded and quickly made her way towards the back of the courtroom. Andy Roberts was a junior assistant in the Department of Magical Law and had been sitting in on the case since the start. For the next half hour he was about to take Hermione's place at Christine's right hand side.

'You're being me for the next half an hour. Go and take my place.'

Andy nodded and quickly took his place next to Christine.

Hermione left the courtroom and pulled off her official robes. She roughly folded them, shrunk them and put them in her pocket. She made her way a few metres down the corridor and quietly pushed open the door that was labelled 'Public Viewing'. She made her way up the stairs and was thankful that Ron was sat on the nearest seat to the door.

She put her hand on his shoulder and knelt down next to him.

'Ginny's been injured.'

His eyes widened and when she stood and made her way back down the stairs he followed her instantly. When the door was closed behind them she turned to face him and answered his not yet formed questions.

'We got a note, Harry's her first emergency contact but he can't come off the stand until he's done. You're second so Christine told me to get you there. I'm guessing she told me to go so that you can stay there as long as you're allowed and I can come back and fill Harry in when he's finished.' She looked at Ron and he frowned, obviously concerned for his sister. 'If you don't mind me coming, of course. I can let your parents know if you want to go on your own.'

'What?' he shook his head. 'Don't be ridiculous, you're coming with me, she's your best friend. And you're right; you need to tell Harry what's going on when he's done.'

'I have half an hour and then I have to be back so we'd better go. Let's get up to the Atrium and we can Apparate to the Stadium.'

'I suppose we have to take comfort in the fact that if it had been very serious she would have been transferred to St. Mungo's.'

Hermione was practically jogging along the long corridor to the lifts at the end.

'Probably.'

She didn't need to add that the fact that Ginny's emergency contact had been used didn't paint the most optimistic of pictures.

'If this is that bloody move of Quintus's I'll kill him.'

'Ginny's perfectly capable of telling him if something's not working, Ron. She won't have tried anything too dangerous.'

'Hmm,' Ron replied. Hermione knew he wasn't convinced by her argument.

The lift got them to the Atrium within a minute and they jogged to the apparition point at the entrance.

'Shall I?' Hermione asked, holding her hand out to Ron.

'Yeah. Probably best.'

He took her hand and she turned on the spot, concentrating on the main entrance of the Harpies' Stadium.

They both materialised exactly where she had planned and thankfully Ron knew the way through the winding corridors and many doors to get to the medical wing. Just as they were about to push open the double doors to the reception area Quintus walked out looking tired and stressed.

'Quintus!' Hermione exclaimed. He jumped and stared at them.

As Ron turned to face him properly he held his hands up.

'She'll be fine, they've just told me. She's in a magical brace to stop her moving her head, neck and back until she's fully healed. She has a bitch of a headache but they're giving her something for that. Her elbow's mashed but they'll fix that after.'

'After what, Quintus?' Ron all but growled at him.

Quintus sighed, obviously not wanting to tell them the true extent of Ginny's injuries.

'Something happened to her broom. We don't know what at the minute, there's a possibility of sabotage but nothing's certain. Anyway basically, she was thrown off it when she was about to score.'

Hermione closed her eyes and Ron sucked in his breath.

'She was the height of the hoops when she fell?' Ron asked, sounding frightened.

Quintus nodded. 'She was knocked out when she landed, obviously, and as well as a fractured skull she…' Hermione put her hand on Quintus's shoulder, encouraging him to continue, 'she fractured one of the cervical vertebrae.'

'_She broke her neck?_' Ron asked, his voice raised and panicked.

'Ron, they fixed it. No permanent damage was done, I promise you. She wasn't moved until every bone in her body had been stabilised and when she walks out of here it will be as if nothing was ever broken.'

'And you're certain she will be walking out of here?' Ron said. It was more of a statement than a question.

'On my life, Ron, she will walk out of here. Probably run if I know Ginny.'

After glaring at Quintus for a minute, Ron nodded.

'She's awake but resting. Don't get her too riled up, okay?' Quintus said with a smile.

Hermione returned the smile and Ron walked through the doors. Quintus turned to leave but Hermione caught his arm.

'Are _you_okay?' she asked quietly.

He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

'Not really. One of ours was targeted and injured. Something like this hasn't happened in years and that's league wide, not just to us. It's going to get ugly and messy and…'

Hermione took his hand. 'And…?'

'And she could have died, Hermione! I'm not even exaggerating. If she'd have properly broken her neck when she fell it wouldn't have mattered how quickly we got to her.'

Hermione nodded. 'I take it Gin knows what could have happened.'

Quintus smirked. 'Yeah, she knows. Honestly… I wouldn't be surprised if she never gets back on a broom again.'

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed.

'Go in and see her, she needs her friends. Hang on, where's Harry?'

'Still in court. I'm here to be informed and then pass on everything to him when he gets out. He can't leave until he's dismissed.'

'You're a good friend, Hermione.'

'I'm a rubbish friend. I'm hiding out here because I don't know what to say to her.'

Quintus smiled and squeezed her hand. 'Just being here is all that matters. Go on, she needs as many friendly faces as possible.'

Hermione nodded.

'I want you to know, Ron too, that we'll not let this lie until we know exactly what happened. Gwenog's… well, I've never seen her so angry. We will sort this out and whoever is responsible will not know what's hit them.'

Hermione nodded. 'I'm sure you'll work it out. Just…'

She had to smile at herself. Quintus managed a half smile and looked at her, puzzled.

'What?'

'Just… go through the proper channels okay? The last thing I need to see is you up in court because you didn't play by the rules.'

Quintus chuckled. 'Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. Promise.'

'Good. I'll see you soon.'

Quintus nodded. 'See you soon.'

Hermione pushed through the doors and the woman behind the desk at what she presumed was 'reception' smiled at her and told her to go through the door to the right. She followed the instructions and went through to a surprisingly small ward. The other three beds were empty as Ginny was the only occupant.

Ron looked up at her and smiled. She took a seat on Ginny's right hand side and gently stroked her arm.

'Hi,' she said quietly.

Ginny managed a small smile and opened her eyes. She couldn't move her head – Hermione could see the red spell cloud surrounding her neck and the top of her head – but she looked to the right and managed a smile.

'Can you talk?' Hermione asked quietly.

'Thankfully… you don't have to be able to move your jaw to… speak.'

Hermione smiled. 'Just… please don't… move.'

'Then please stop saying things that make me want to shake my head at you!'

'Sorry.'

Ron chuckled. 'And she's supposed to be the sensible one!'

Hermione frowned at Ron but she gave way to a smile when he winked at her.

'Did you explain why Harry wasn't here?' she asked Ron.

Ron nodded. 'Yeah. It should only be a few hours, shouldn't it?'

'Probably. Christine doesn't think they'll go too hard on him, his evidence is too tight. It's everyone after Harry that could cause problems, but, that's another day's problem. You are today's.'

'Thanks!' Ginny replied, managing a smile.

'You're not in any pain, are you?' Ron asked.

'No. Well only good pain.'

'Good pain? Is this one of those weird sports things I'll never fully understand?'

'Yeah, but, really, considering I could have severed my spinal cord to an extent that even magic couldn't have fixed, any pain in my legs is good pain.'

'Well, I suppose I can understand that,' Hermione replied.

They fell silent and Hermione looked up and down the bed. From what she could see of Ginny's arms and legs her bruises were healing quickly – they were now a shade of yellow – and the full bottle of Skele-Grow was surely to fix Ginny's lumpy looking elbow when she could open her mouth wide enough to swallow a dose.

'It's times like this that make me wonder why I do this.' Hermione was taken aback by Ginny's statement. She glanced at Ron and he frowned. 'I mean, I nearly… died… that's something you take seriously.'

Hermione sighed and notice tears forming in Ginny's eyes. She went to move her fringe out of her eyes but the spell surrounding her head stopped her. She lifted Ginny's hand and held it tightly between her own.

'You do it because you love it and can't imagine doing anything else,' she said quietly.

'One more accident like today and I won't be able to do anything else.'

A tear fell from her eye and stopped at the red spell cloud.

'Hey, come on, Gin, this was a one off.' Ron said with a smile. 'When they sort out this whole sabotage thing you'll go back to being brilliant like you have been for the past five years! You'll be back on a broom in no time and you'll be wondering what you've been worried about!'

Ginny managed to swallow although she grimaced when she did it. Hermione squeezed Ginny's hand again.

'Is it worth it though? Is playing a dangerous game to make a living a reasonable risk when everything else I dream of could be taken away because of it? It's hard getting married, having children and growing old when you're dead.'

'We all have risky jobs, Gin. Even Hermione's not entirely safe in court, they get all sorts of weirdos in there. Remember that guy who somehow managed to smuggled a wand in during his trial and half way through he started shooting Unforgivables everywhere? Every day there's a chance something could happen.'

'But at the end of the day, Ron, you Harry and Hermione are making the world a safer and better place because of what you do, I _play a game_. Don't sit there and tell me that's worth the risk.'

Hermione wished she could dry the tears that were silently falling from Ginny's eyes but she still kept being buffered back by the spell.

'I'd agree with you if you didn't give joy, entertainment and escapism to thousands of people every weekend. Sometimes all people need is a few hours watching something they love to make their lives a whole lot better, so don't you dare sit there and tell me what you do for a living isn't worthwhile.'

She felt a tear fall from her eye and quickly tried to wipe away any trace of it. Ron looked at her and smiled at her with a nod. He mouthed _thank you_at her and she nearly burst into tears there and then.

But she didn't, instead she took a deep breath and managed a small smile at Ron.

'When do they think you'll be out of here?' she asked, determined to at least try and get Ginny to look on any positive side there was.

'Um… if I do as I'm told while they're treating me and then work hard in rehab it could be about a week. I won't be allowed to play for at least three weeks probably, maybe a bit longer if it's sabotage like they say, depends if they work out what the hell happened.'

Hermione nodded. 'Right, I'll expect you home in a week. If you want to stay at The Burrow or with Harry then I'll have your stuff ready, too, just let me know.

Ginny closed her eyes and managed a smile. After swallowing hard she opened her eyes. 'Thanks… I'll let you know.'

Hermione checked her watch and even though she was still fine for another ten minutes, she wanted to give Ron and Ginny some time on their own. She knew both of them would protest if she voiced concerns of 'I shouldn't be here, I'm not family' so she wouldn't give them the opportunity to protest. She stood and leant forwards so Ginny didn't have to strain her eyes to see her.

'I have to get back to court. As soon as Harry is off that stand I'll let him know what's happened. Don't worry if it's still a few hours, I doubt Horatio is going to give up any opportunity to try and either make a fool of Harry or bring his professionalism into question. He's an arse like that.'

She was glad to see Ginny smirk. Ron laughed out loud and for a second it felt like her soul had calmed.

'Anyway, you know where I am if you need anything, and I'll come and see you tomorrow, okay?'

Ginny winced as she had obviously tried to nod but been stopped in her tracks. ''kay. Thanks.'

Hermione kissed her own hand and then squeezed Ginny's. Ginny squeezed back.

She looked at Ron and he stood. 'If you want to come by later and ask how court went, you're more than welcome.'

'Thanks, I'll see you out. Back in a minute, Gin.'

'Be quick! I may try and crawl out of here to avoid the tedium!'

Hermione had to smile, while it was daunting seeing her friend's body broken, it was encouraging to hear that underneath all the pain, her soul was still intact.

Ron chuckled and Hermione walked out the hospital wing and through reception. She turned to Ron and he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

'Thanks for coming, and for saying what you said… in there… when she was being stupid. I don't think I would have known what to say.'

Hermione put her hand on his shoulder and smiled. 'You would have found the words, Ron, you always do.'

She looked at him and their eyes locked. For what could only have been a few seconds but felt like hours she stared into his blue eyes and she just wanted to get lost in them. Her stomach churned, her internal warning system letting her know this was a bad idea, but she ignored it and continued to stare. Only when her eyes were begging her to blink did she look away.

'Thanks for letting Harry know. It won't be easy, just… keep a hold of his wrist if he starts fidgeting or looks like he's going to Apparate. It's kind of like our safety thing when we're out on a mission and one of us isn't sure about something. We automatically stop and wait, so… yeah, just make sure he doesn't arrive here in a frantic blur, I don't think the medical staff will be too happy.'

She nodded. 'I'll make sure he's in a fit state when he sets off. Promise.'

Before she had time to take in what he was doing he had stepped up to her and wrapped his arms around her. Automatically she did the same and before she could stop herself she breathed him in.

Tears burned her eyes, it was this that she missed the most, just holding him and in one hold getting her faith back in the world and just _knowing_everything would be okay. Before the tears could fall, Ron pulled back. She tried to hide her eyes but couldn't help but hear him sniff. She looked and was shocked to see his eyes were tear-filled, too.

'Hey,' she said quietly, automatically wanting to make him feel better, 'give her a week and she'll be as good as new.'

'She will!' Ron said with probably a bit too much enthusiasm. 'Take care getting back, I'll see you later.'

Hermione nodded and turned on her heel and as she walked she hoped that the rest of her day would be less emotionally stressful.

…oooOOOooo…

She had woken up that morning and had a sense that today was the day that something was going to go wrong with… something. That was the part of her 'premonition' that she wasn't sure about. There was no rhyme or reason to it; she just felt… weird.

She had eaten her breakfast cereal and it felt heavy in her stomach all morning. The coffee she had been brought by Andy to the courtroom was very strong and after twenty minutes and drinking half of it she could feel the caffeine coursing through her. Her mind was racing and twice she found herself going off on a tangent with her note taking. Had this happened the previous week it wouldn't have been a problem – the witnesses and their testimonies were straightforward and everything went to plan – but this week brought the three witnesses whose evidence was crucial, but for some reason or another could throw up problems because of past misdemeanours, injuries caused or bias towards the defendants.

Thankfully her home life – for once – was not adding to her stress. Ginny had recovered well from her accident and one of Pride Of Portree's scouts had owned up to the broom sabotage. He had instantly been dismissed, fined and was sitting in Azkaban awaiting sentencing. He had bartered his charge down from attempted murder to grievous bodily harm for a reduced sentence but it was a high profile case so it was as much as a foregone conclusion as possible that he would be in Azkaban for the longest time possible for that charge.

Hermione was thankful that Ginny seemed to take the whole thing in her stride and after only a couple of days when her confidence in her healing abilities fell through the floor, she was back to her normal self. Well, as normal as possible when she wasn't allowed to fly.

The morning passed with only a couple of hiccups but nothing too surprising, and after some lunch and a big glass of milk her stomach was more settled than it had been. But three minutes into the questioning of one of their witnesses, Milo Foy, it was obvious this afternoon was going to be troubling.

'Milo, please could you tell us why you were present at the building where the attacks took place?'

'Um…' Hermione watched as he fidgeted in his seat and stared at the ground in front of him. 'Um… I was buying… potions off them. I… er… I was running low and went to pick up my regular order.'

Christine nodded. Hermione knew the 'potions' wouldn't cause a problem, while not entirely legal it was decided to dismiss any investigation into them in return for Milo's evidence in this trial.

'And what time did you arrive at the building?'

'S…sometime in the evening.'

Hermione frowned, she knew that Milo knew the exact time that he had arrived at the building, Hermione had been shocked at how specific he had been.

'I'm going to need you to be a bit more specific, Milo,' Christine prompted.

Milo sighed. Hermione had no idea what was wrong but something was definitely not right.

'Just after seven. I think.'

Hermione looked at Christine and could tell Christine was confused.

'Just after seven.'

The next few minutes carried on just the same, half answers and hesitation. Hermione started to panic.

'Did you see any of the four defendants attack by either physical force or magical any of the Ministry Aurors who arrived on the scene.'

After the expected 'yes' off Milo Hermione knew they would get into specifics.

'No. I didn't.'

Hermione turned her head to Milo and stared at him.

People in the public gallery were mumbling, she thought she had heard a very distinct 'what?' being exclaimed loudly, she didn't like the fact that the shout sounded like Ron.

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you that question again, Milo, and remind you that you have sworn to tell the truth while you are in this court room. Did you, at any point during the time the Ministry Aurors were on the premises, at which, according to your previous statements you arrived at three minutes past seven that evening, see any of the four defendants attack in _any_ way _any_of those Ministry Aurors.'

Milo stared at Christine for a second and then glanced quickly to where the four people on trial (who Ron didn't even acknowledge during his time in court) were standing. He went back to staring at the floor.

'No.'

'What? NO! You're lying! You _bastard!_'

Hermione closed her eyes and her heart sank. Ron's outburst had caused the people in the public gallery to start shouting abuse at Milo. She looked at the four wizards sitting calmly across the court from her and they all just looked forward and didn't react. But when one of them, Lewis Hawkes – the known leader of the group of terrorists – looked at her, he smirked at her. She looked away and knew then that someone had threatened Milo and his family.

After a minute of chaos Christine and Horatio White had been called into one of the side rooms with the Head of the Wizengamot to discuss what had happened. She watched as Ron was forcibly removed from the viewing gallery and she thought she saw Harry trying to calm him down before that happened. Five minutes later Christine and Horatio appeared from the side room. Hermione wasn't listening to what was being said to the court at large, she could only look at Christine.

'Meet me upstairs in my office in half an hour. Grab some food, we might be here a while.'

Hermione nodded and gathered her things together. She left the courtroom and saw Harry struggling to get Ron to walk away from the two wizards who had escorted him from the gallery. She understood his anger but was surprised at his behaviour; she hoped there was nothing wrong.

She wanted to go and help but something stopped her, somehow she just knew it wasn't the best thing to do. She made her way upstairs and through the Ministry and sat down heavily at her desk in Christine's outer office. She just let her mind run riot for a few minutes – it was pointless trying to concentrate on a task until she had done so and then she set about writing up that morning's notes. She thought about eating her packed lunch but she couldn't face it. There was no point whatsoever in writing up what had happened this afternoon and in frustration at the entire situation she balled up her rough notes, threw them in the air and made them explode into tiny pieces. After watching them all settle to the ground another wave of her wand and they disappeared.

Two minutes later Christine walked in and beckoned Hermione to follow her. She shut the door behind her as was habit and waited for Christine to say something.

'Foy's been written off as a witness. It's obvious he's been gotten at by the defence's henchmen and there's nothing we can do about it. If he's willing to lie in court with Azkaban as a punishment then nothing I say will change his mind.'

Hermione went to ask a question but stopped herself before she committed career suicide. She tried to pass it off as a sigh.

'Always ask, Hermione.'

She closed her eyes and managed a smile.

'Did Horatio seem… surprised?'

As soon as she stopped talking she wished she could take it back.

Christine smirked. 'In my anger the thought crossed my mind as well, but when I'd calmed down and seen Horatio's reaction to what had happened I knew he knew nothing about it. As much as he can be a complete and utter arse and is a slimeball on occasion, he always remains professional when it comes to witnesses. He had a case years ago where the same thing happened to his key witness, because of the changed evidence a murderer walked free. He was caught a few years later but it took another murder to catch him. Things like that change a person.'

Hermione nodded. 'I'm sorry for bringing it up, I didn't know.'

'And there's no way you would have done, like I said, always ask. Now I hope you had no plans for this evening.'

Hermione chuckled. 'I don't, no.'

'Excellent, we have a new witness to find.'

...oooOOOooo...

A week had passed since Foy had turned and Ron had been removed from the court. When Hermione wasn't thinking about the case she would think about Ron and wonder what had been the underlying cause of his outburst. She knew, of course, that Ron was as involved in the case as was possible, but she had never seen him lose it like that in court. He had seen witnesses break down on the stand when cross-examined and it had never made him react the way he did that day.

She had seen him once during the past week and he had looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and his robes were hanging off him like he hadn't eaten for days. She had tried to make eye contact with him and instigate a conversation but when he had caught sight of her he had quickly started talking to another Auror Hermione didn't know and she had had to get to Christine's office before they were due back in court.

She kept meaning to go and see Harry about it but by the time she got home from work these days she had enough energy to eat whatever Mrs. Weasley had left in her kitchen – Harry had since admitted in a note left in the flat one evening that he had let slip his deal with Hermione to Mrs. Weasley who had instantly taken charge of the situation and apparently made Harry uncomfortable for not telling her in the first place – and then fallen in to bed. She slept in late both weekend days and when she did crawl out of bed she read her notes for Monday's day in court. In short, she was living and breathing her work and would be until this case ended. Christine had promised her a three-week holiday when it was all over and as much as she felt she should protest that it was too much, she had no intention of turning it down.

It was just another Friday night when she got in at half past nine and collapsed on the sofa. After a minute her stomach reacted to the smell of Mrs. Weasley's home cooking being kept warm by the oven and she managed to drag herself to the kitchen and transfer the food from the pot to a plate.

She never felt very hungry until she started eating, and then after ten minutes and an empty plate she realised she needed to eat more during the day. This was a daily discovery and yet she still had to make the change to her working day.

As she was about to get up and take her dishes to the kitchen the fireplace glowed bright green and a piece of parchment appeared on the floor. She picked it up and read it.

_Hermione,_

_Sorry to do this to you but Harry's not answering my note and I don't really want to worry anyone else – I thought you'd be the best to deal with him._

_Ron's at the pub and he's had a few too many, I've cut him off but he's not capable of getting home safely on his own. I was wondering if you would come and get him and make sure he doesn't try anything stupid._

_Thank you,_

_Hannah_

She sighed, she knew she would have to see Ron at some point but she was hoping it would be when both of them were a little stronger. While she was burying herself in her work, Ron was, apparently, finding comfort in alcohol. For a second she contemplated letting someone else know, George or Percy, but she knew she would just worry about him if she didn't go.

She pulled on her discarded shoes and picked up a handful of Floo Powder.

'The Three Broomsticks,' she shouted and instantly started spinning past hundreds of fireplaces.

When she arrived she looked around the pub and spotted Ron slumped over the bar. She closed her eyes and sighed again, she was thankful she had managed to eat all her dinner before the note arrived, she had a feeling she would need all her strength.

Hannah mouthed 'thank you' at her as she appeared at Ron's side.

'Ron, come on, you're going home now.'

He grunted and she put a hand on his shoulder to try and get him to sit up. It didn't work.

'Ron, come on, get up.'

Again he grunted. Hermione took his earlobe between her thumb and forefinger and dug her nail into the flesh. He jerked away from the pain and lost his balance off the stool. The sensation of falling brought him from his stupor and he managed to get a foot to the floor before he lost his balance completely.

Hermione took the chance to grab his arm and pull him forward off the stool and then tucked herself under his arm and into his body so she could steer him easier.

'Start walking, Ron.'

He looked to his left and seemed surprised to see her there but he did as she said and started walking in the direction she was pointing him in.

She got him to the fireplace but his eyes had already started to close. She swore under her breath and decided Apparition was probably the safest way to get him to his flat.

She grabbed his arm with both her hands and concentrated very specifically on appearing next to his bed. That way when he lost his balance when they reappeared he would fall onto the bed and that would be one less journey she would have to get him through.

She closed her eyes, concentrated hard and turned.

Her plan worked as she hoped and when Ron stumbled the back of his legs hit the bed and he landed safely. He collapsed backwards and passed out.

'Oh, Ron, what are you doing to yourself?'

She untied his boots and pulled them off his feet and after a few minutes' struggle managed to pull his Auror robes off his back. She picked up his legs and managed to swing them into what she hoped was a comfortable sleeping position for him, she must have had it wrong because Ron managed to roll himself over and curled up. She perched on the edge of the bed when he had settled down, stroked his hair out of his eyes.

'I'm so sorry, Ron. You deserve better than this.'

Before the tears formed she stood and walked towards the door. She heard movement behind her and saw Ron was looking at her.

She smiled and was about to tell him to sleep well when he opened his mouth.

'I hate… that you… came back. You… ruined my… life. I… hate… you.'

She couldn't stop the tears cascading down her cheeks. Before he could say anything else, she turned on the spot and Disapparated.

…oooOOOooo…

She was sure she was trespassing but she really didn't care. Throwing stones as far as she could was giving her some kind of relief and stopping her from thinking too much. Or crying. She was just glad there was no one around when all that hurt and pain came out of her mouth and caused her to collapse in a heap a few feet from where she stood now.

She had run past people as she made her way from the main function room in the stadium and they had seemed shocked but they didn't stop her. When she got to the door of the dugout it burst open in front of her and she wasn't going to question why.

She had no idea how long she had been there, but the last light around the stadium had just gone out or been switched off, she didn't know which.

She heard movement behind her and was waiting for a 'what are you doing?' from the groundskeeper or someone similar, but she was surprised when the voice was familiar.

'Hermione, please step a bit further back from the edge.'

Quintus's voice was soft, probably not to startle her.

'It's warded, Quintus, you of all people know that!' she didn't care that her tone was harsh, at the minute she had no idea what to do with herself let alone try and work out how to talk to other people.'

'Except it's not, maintenance took it down half an hour ago so they can come in later and fix the damage from the weekend's game.'

She realised she was only six inches from the ledge and normally she would have noticed the lack of wards but she was somewhat distracted. For a few seconds she let the adrenaline run through her and even contemplated moving a couple of inches closer to the edge just so she could feel something entirely different from what was consuming her, but instead she took a step back. Instantly Quintus pulled her further backwards into his arms.

'Shit! Please don't ever scare me like that again,' he whispered into her hair.

She continued to stare out into the darkness and Quintus just held her. She could feel his heartbeat against her back but she didn't react to anything because tears had started falling once more and her stomach had started squirming.

Eventually Quintus loosened his grip and walked around her. She met his eyes as he stared down at her and waited for him to start talking.

'What happened?' he asked simply.

'Ron just told me he…' her breath caught in her throat but she swallowed and carried on, 'hates me so I'm feeling a bit h…hurt at the minute. Not to mention lost and… did I mention hurt?'

Quintus frowned.

'Hermione, Ron doesn't hate you.'

'But apparently he does, Quintus, and you know what? I can't really blame him. It's true that if I'd stayed in France none of all this would have happened. He would have married Mattie and they'd've lived happily ever after.'

Quintus took her by surprise when he laughed.

'Oh, Hermione, it doesn't matter that you can home five months ago or if you came home five years from now, Ron's feelings for you would have remained unchanged, and you know what? You did nothing but come _home_.'

She shook her head. 'Not true, I kissed him once.'

Quintus snorted. 'One kiss, in the grand scheme of things, is nothing. Even if you hadn't kissed him, things would have played out in the exact same way.'

Again she shook her head. 'Whatever you say to me will not stop me thinking his misery is my fault.'

Quintus nodded. 'I know that because you're a good person, but I know that it's not your fault.

Thunder filled the air and she could hear the rain starting to fall at the edge of the dugout.

'Look, Ginny's in the corridor, she spotted you about the same time I did and I persuaded her to let me come and talk to you. Now, I can find you a room here for the night if you don't want to go back to an empty flat, or I can stay with you tonight when I've finished here. I'll take you anywhere and do what you want. You only have to say the word.'

The only two places in the Harpies' complex she was familiar with was the largest function room and the VIP spectators' box but at the minute, it felt the most familiar place she had to stay.

She swallowed hard and managed to keep any stray sobs at bay. 'Do you… do you think Ginny would mind if I stayed with… her tonight? I won't disrupt her sleep; she won't even know I'm there.'

'I'd've been offended if you hadn't asked.'

Hermione turned around. She wasn't expecting relief to wash over her when she saw her best friend, but it did and a fresh wave of tears overtook her.

'Come here,' Ginny said as she walked forwards and wrapped her arms around Hermione.

She didn't know how long she cried into Ginny's shoulder. When she tried to think about what she was doing she tried to tell herself her reaction was over the top; Ron had been drunk when he said what he did, after all, but it didn't help to stop the tears.

Half an hour later when she was wrapped in a warm blanket and sat on Ginny's couch she tried to remember exactly how she had got there, but all her thoughts had been directed to Ron and what had transpired since she had returned from France.

'I'm going to go to bed, I know I'm not playing for another week but I've got into a routine and I want tomorrow to be as normal as possible just without the actual playing part. Silly I know.'

Hermione managed a half smile. 'It's not silly at all, I'm so sorry I haven't… I dunno, been a better friend since the accident, it's just-'

'You're in the middle of the biggest court case in years. Hermione, believe me, I understand how busy you've been. Harry hasn't stopped talking about how Christine would be lost without you.'

Hermione smirked. 'I'm sure Christine would be fine without me and with someone more experienced.'

'Well, she been singing your praises to Kingsley who told Harry just in case your confidence left you at any point and he had to talk you round, so there!'

Hermione managed a chuckle. 'Well, obviously I'm never going to win an argument in which you've said 'so there' so I'll just accept the compliment graciously and bid you good night.'

Ginny perched on the edge of the sofa. 'If you fancy eating anything help yourself to anything in the cupboards or the fridge. If you want it there's a bottle of Firewhisky hidden underneath the plant pot by the front door, a revealing charm will show it.'

Hermione snorted. 'I won't even ask!'

Ginny grinned. 'Best not to! Anyway, if you need anything, to talk or whatever, just wake me up. Like I said I'm not playing tomorrow so it doesn't really matter how well I sleep, okay?'

'Thank you, Ginny, but I wouldn't dream of waking you in the middle of the night. I might, however, make an attempt to find your hidden alcohol stash.'

Ginny smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. 'Help yourself. Anyway, try and sleep well, yeah?'

Hermione nodded. 'I'll try. Goodnight, Gin.'

Ginny stood and walked towards her bedroom. While Hermione was content to sleep on the sofa, Ginny insisted Quintus move one of the decent beds out of another of the flats into the box room. Thankfully this was a situation where magic came in very handy.

'I know you won't believe me, but… Ron could never hate you, Hermione, and deep down you know that.'

Before she had a chance to think about how she would reply, Ginny had closed the door and left her to her thoughts.

She wrapped the blanket tighter around her and waited for more tears or a wave of emotion she couldn't control but for the minute, nothing came.

As much as she wanted to believe what Ginny had said, Lavender's voice rattled around her mind. _'Everyone tells the truth when they're drunk, whether they should or not'_Ron was definitely drunk and normally she would care about why he was doing this to himself. It was obvious that something had triggered it but she didn't know what. There was only one other time she had seen him as angry as he was in the court room and that was when he was wearing a Horcrux, was shouting at Harry and he thought Hermione had chosen Harry over him. She wondered what had had the same affect on his heart as part of a psychopath's soul.

She was _so_tired but her mind was going round in endless circles and she actually laughed out loud at the thought of being able to sleep.

She leant back and tried to bury her head into the back cushion of the sofa and just as she found a comfortable position a soft tapping at the window made her sit up. Before the noise could disturb Ginny she crossed the room and pulled back the curtains. She had to squint into the darkness before she spotted the tiny owl even smaller than Pigwigeon with an even tinier parcel tied to its leg. She struggled with the lock on the window but after a minute opened it and relieved the owl of its charge. As it took off into the night she caught a glimpse of the tail feathers and saw the Harpies' corporate colours; whoever had sent this parcel was close by. She had a feeling she knew who it was.

She untied the string around the tiny parcel and found a small phial of potion and a note.

_As Ginny's Assistant Coach I should have already confiscated her stash of alcohol she hides under the plant in her flat, but I'm an understanding coach so haven't. (However, should Gwenog EVER find out I'm denying ALL knowledge!)_

_I know drinking until you pass out isn't your style so I've sent a measured dose of Dreamless Sleep potion which will last you until about 9 tomorrow morning. Take it or don't, I just didn't think your brain would shut down and let you get some sleep and I know you're exhausted right now, hence the potion._

_Try and sleep well, Hermione, and know that you can knock on my door ANY time._

_Quintus x_

Tears burned her eyes as they did every time she was emotional and people were being nice to her, but she took a deep breath and walked directly into the box room of the flat.

She didn't care that she was still fully clothed as she got into bed and dimmed the lights. She knew she just needed a break from _thinking_ about _everything_.

She pulled the stopper out of the bottle and drank the whole lot in one.

A minute later she was sound asleep.


	14. Confession

See, 5,000 words is much more sensible and a hell of a lot quicker to write! I didn't expect it to be this quick mind but I'm not complaining!

Some of the formatting was screwy in the last chapter, I've tried to catch the weird things in this one but I've probably missed some. Apologies.

POV switch in this one, was needed to progress the story and was a refreshing change! Chapter 15 is underway, but if you could let me know what you think of this one it would be much appreciated. Thanks :)

* * *

**Confession**

There was a dull pounding behind his eyes but that wasn't what had woken him.

'Get up you complete and utter arse before I make your hangover ten times worse than it already is!'

Light hit his eyelids and he automatically turned his head away from the brightness. He managed a grunt and prized his eyes open.

'Just so you know the only reason I haven't already hexed you is because you're my brother and I really don't want to have to explain my actions over Sunday lunch! Are you even listening to me?'

'How c'n I not lisn t'you? Yur bloody loud 'nough.'

'Oh, I'm sorry, am I being too loud for eight in the morning?'

He frowned and processed what she had just said. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

'It's eight in the morning? Why're you even here?'

He had growled the last question and he hoped his anger had been obvious.

'Don't you even dare try and pretend you have a reason to be angry with me! Just because you drank too bloody much last night to even get yourself home safely and have a bitch of a hangover because of it, doesn't mean you can take it out on me. I, however, have a perfectly legitimate reason to be a complete bitch to you, because you made my best friend absolutely distraught last night, so much so, she could have hurt herself. I am here to tell you you're a wanker and to tell you to apologise to her. Mind you to do that she'll have to let you into her sight which, if I were her, I wouldn't even contemplate so be prepared to grovel.'

He closed his eyes and scrubbed his palms across his face. It dawned on him that the weight in his chest that he had got used to since he had received that letter from New York was different that morning. He'd yet to have the time to try and interpret it since his sister's barrage of words but it dawned on him that on top of his usual misery sat painful guilt.

Ill prepared to deal with his sorrow, guilt and his irate sister, he took the easy way out.

'Ginny, fuck off. It's Saturday morning and I'm going back to sleep. Go and annoy the shit out of someone else or find something that's _actually_your business to sort out.'

He turned away from her and buried his face into the blissfully cool pillows. He heard nothing for a few seconds and then he sensed someone leaning over him.

'When Hermione is so distraught that she doesn't notice the safety wards are switched off on the Harpies' dugout and is _so close_ to the edge that one slip will have her in a similar situation than I was a few weeks ago, it _is _my fucking business. Sort. This. Out.'

He heard her footsteps cross the room and the door slam. He winced as the noise made his head pound once more.

He knew he would have to deal with the previous night at some point, that the increased weight he was carrying inside him needed to be… well… he had no idea what to do with it, hence the reason why he had drank as much as he had last night.

And the night before.

And the night before that.

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. A few minutes later, he was asleep.

'Well, someone had an eventful evening!'

He inhaled sharply and turned his head towards the noise. His head hurt but it had stopped pounding. He waited for the usual heaviness to envelop him that happened every time he came to after sleep whether alcohol induced or not. When it arrived in full force his breath hitched, as it normally did, and then he went back to working out who had awoken him this time.

'Come on, Ron, time to wake up and face the day. I have a feeling it's going to be a bitch so you may as well get it over and done with as soon as possible!'

He felt something small land next to him on the bed and managed to open his eyes. Lavender was smiling down at him.

'Hangover cure's on the bed. Have a shower, you stink, open the window, your room stinks, I'll have coffee ready in the kitchen when you're done. Twenty minutes, yeah?'

She walked out the room and his irritation at the fact that other people seemed determined to rule this day for him bubbled through him.

'What, no shouting and screaming at me?'

Lavender snorted. 'Oh, Ron, I learned a long time ago that shouting at a man will never get him to do the thing you want him to do.'

She walked out the room.

'You seem very sure of yourself!'

Her head appeared round the doorframe.

'Well, we'll see in twenty minutes if I'm right, shall we?' she replied with a grin. She disappeared from view and Ron slumped back into his pillows. He thought about what she said and realised that he did stink, mainly of alcohol but with the added odour of _just not caring about anything least of all hygiene_.

His frustration still ran through him but then his head gave a painful throb and he felt dizzy. His hand landed on the small bottle and in an instant he had pulled out the stopper and downed it in one. He sighed in relief and as energy ran through him, his eyes ceased to be fuzzy and his headache faded he wanted nothing more than to go and have a shower and try and wash some of his misery down the drain.

'Still black with three?' Lavender asked as he padded through the lounge to the kitchen, his old Cannons shirt hanging off him and his jogging bottoms only being held up by one hipbone.

'Thanks.'

'Is your room being aerated?'

He nodded and took a sip from the mug she had just given him. 'Yeah, all the windows are open and I charmed everything that was fabric and permanently attached to something. It'll smell like a florist for days.'

'Good. Hangover gone?'

'Yeah, thanks for that.'

'It's the last one I'm giving you, Ron. After today, you either control your drinking or you suffer. I won't watch you drink your life away and I will not watch you destroy relationships that are the only good thing going on in your life right now.'

'Wow, Lavender, thanks for sugar coating things for me.'

'You have three sugars in your coffee, that's more than enough.'

Her tone had changed and for the first time since she had arrived he looked into her eyes.

'If me slowly drinking my life away is so difficult to watch then why have you been?'

'Because I told Hermione that I'd be the person she couldn't be and I never back out of an agreement.'

At Hermione's name anger burned through him. He wasn't entirely sure why, it was just the way he had taught himself to react to her for his own self-preservation.

'Oh, well, if Hermione's telling you to do something then you can't possibly ignore that!'

Before he realised what she was doing a sugar cube had hit him between the eyes.

'Ah! What the hell are you doing?'

'Don't you dare stand there and have a go at me for caring or Hermione for making sure there was someone who didn't give up on you when you're making it so bloody difficult for people not to. I'm guessing you only left your room last night because you ran out of alcohol, and look what you did when that happened. You made Hannah have to deal with a potentially abusive customer and you told your best friend that you hated her. You're not making this easy for us, Ron.'

'Oh, well, I'm _so_sorry for being a nuisance, just let me pass out in the bar next time, I'm pretty sure no will be hassled if that happens.'

Lavender smirked. 'Do you really think you're the only one who's drunk themselves through a rough patch and needed bringing back from the brink? You're behind the times, Ron, that is _so_post second Wizarding War.' Her tone was light but the glare that went through him was anything but jovial. 'Not all of us have a brilliant support system or a mean sense of survival, you know.'

Ron put his coffee down on the breakfast bar, hopped up onto one of the stools and looked at Lavender.

'Lavender, I'm-'

'Don't apologise for what I had to deal with. Everyone had shit to cope with, and I wasn't the only one who found comfort at the bottom of a bottle. But that's why I'm here; because I know there's only one way to get through this, and that's to meet it head on. You need to stop running, Ron. I hate to say it, but you have a track record of disappearing when you don't know what to do. The night Hermione came back, you buggered off to Scotland for the night! You've seen Charlie more times recently than you have since the war and he's not exactly back in the country every weekend! I'm not saying I blame you for disappearing, I'm just telling you that it can't go on forever and I want you to make that change today.'

'What if I can't make that change? What if I literally have no idea what to do now.'

'I never said it would be easy, Ron, but that's what, when this is all over, will make it all so worthwhile. Apparently, anyway, I'm not there yet so I can only tell you about what I've heard.' She smirked and took a sip of her coffee. 'Look, I've not said this so far because it's not what you want to hear, but, honestly, it's what you need to hear so I'm going to say it and risk you throwing me out of your flat.'

He didn't say anything, just nodded at her so she would start talking. He knew what he had been suppressing since he was rudely awoken that morning was probably about to rear its ugly and painful head, but at least he was somewhat prepared for it.

'You need to do what you _want_. Not what you think other people might think you should do, not what you think is decent or right but what _you want_. Alcohol notwithstanding of course.'

'You just said I should stop running but I really just want to get away from here.'

Lavender nodded. 'Okay, so pretend you've been spending time with Charlie for a week or five or ten months… then what? Then what do you want to do?'

His gaze dropped to the floor and he slumped over the breakfast bar, his head resting on his folded arms. He let himself think about the previous few days, how he had been overwhelmed with anticipation and excitement when a scroll from Mattie appeared in his fireplace only to be crushed when he read that she was seeing someone else. He hadn't known what to do, so he did the easiest thing; he got angry.

He'd snapped at Harry and then lost it completely in court when Foy had turned. When he found out why he had turned from a spy for the Ministry he understood; he couldn't blame a man for trying to protect his wife and child. But even shortly after all that his anger had died down and he was just left with this sorrow in his chest.

He had decided his subconscious was punishing him because twice now he had woken up after blissful dreams only to discover they were just that. The hard thing was that they both featured a different woman in his life and he was equally happy in each.

Except he wasn't, if he was being truly honest with himself. One had eclipsed the other and he couldn't put a finger on why, but it had.

Throughout everything he knew there was an easy way out of his situation, but while it was easy, he knew it wasn't right and he of all people knew that it was only on extremely rare occasion when something was both right _and_easy.

But did it matter that it might not be seen as _right_? Ever since his failed wedding his family and friends had reassured him that he only had to think about himself and what he wanted.

If only it were that simple.

In the evenings about ten minutes before he would start drinking and the main reason for that, his mind would wage war with his heart and neither ever came out the victor.

'Can I get back to you on that?' he replied with half a smile.

Lavender smiled and nodded. He was caught off guard by her chuckling to herself.

'What's funny?'

She swallowed her giggles and cleared her throat. 'One day, Ron, someone's going to ask you that question again and I want you to have an answer ready for when they do. I don't need to hear what your heart wants, mainly because I think I know already but because it's actually none of my business, but believe me, someone will ask you what you want and I want you to be able to answer them. Just promise me you'll think about it.'

'I have a feeling I'll be able to think of nothing else.'

'Well, in the meantime you have at least one thing you need to do today.'

Ron nodded. As much as seeing Hermione that afternoon would be the hardest thing to do, he knew it had to be done.

Rarely right _and_easy.

'I have two things to do, actually. You know what the first is and the second is the foreword in my book.'

'Is she still editing it for you?'

Ron nodded. It was one of the reasons why he had never lost hope. He had thought that if Mattie had wanted to cut all ties with him she would have dropped his book as if it was cursed, but she insisted on finishing editing it and it was she who he had to send his foreword to.

'Yeah. Well, it's done now, she told me that in the same letter she told me she was seeing someone else.'

Lavender nodded. 'Well then, at least your day has a purpose now, and to think, you've already cleaned your room so it looks to be a very productive day!'

Ron laughed and for a second he felt lighter. He tried to remember the last time he had laughed properly and his mind felt betrayed by his heart when he realised Hermione had been the source of his laughter.

'I can't promise I won't run away again, Lavender. I'm just not strong enough to stay at the moment.'

Lavender smiled kindly. 'I know, and that's fine, but remember three things for me. One, no matter how far you run, or how long you're gone, the same problems will be sitting here waiting for you when you get back.' Ron nodded. 'Two, I want you to remember I'm here for you whatever happens, and three,' she walked around the breakfast bar and pulled him into a hug. When she pulled back she put her hand on his chest, 'listen to what's in here. You can tell yourself whatever you want, but if your heart feels differently, you'll never truly be happy.'

For a few seconds he looked down into her eyes.

'When did Lavender Brown get so wise?'

He smiled at her as he said the words and she gave her most genuine of smiles back.

'Reading _Witch Weekly_ has _some_ benefits, you know?' Ron chuckled and watched as Lavender walked through the flat to the fireplace. 'Just promise me one more thing, Ron,' she said as she took some Floo powder out the pot.

'Anything.'

'If you ever think a bottle of Firewhisky is the answer, send that hyperactive owl of yours to come and find me.'

'Will you confiscate all alcohol within the vicinity when you find me?'

'Merlin no! I'll make you share it with me but I'll make sure you get home safe. Deal?'

Ron nodded. 'Deal.'

It was eight o'clock in the evening, and, while it would appear that he had put his task off until the last possible minute, there was a genuine reason for him waiting until there was only four hours left in the day. He had originally planned to be here an hour earlier, but while completing the other task he had for the day he had finally been inspired at just the wrong time. Nevertheless he knew he had time and with an extra hour it took that step closer to him being guaranteed privacy.

He had needed help and although he had been glared at more in the past half an hour than he had in the previous year, he was here and that was all that mattered.

Quintus had told him that Hermione would open the door of the dugout if he knocked four times. Ron could see the internal battle Quintus was host to and he guessed that while Quintus wanted to protect Hermione from harm, he also knew she deserved an apology.

Plus the added 'you hurt her again and I'll hurt you' was something Ron was going to take seriously. He hated to admit it but his snap judgement about Quintus had been wrong.

He stared at the door, took a deep breath and knocked four times.

He heard the lock of the door click and gently pushed it open.

'I hope that your name being on the shiny new plaque behind me doesn't mean you're going to get big headed.'

He thought his stomach would squirm at hearing her voice but he just felt calm. It was something he hadn't felt in a long time and for a second he questioned what it meant.

'I've found that when people's names are put on plaques and they're still alive, they're a bit embarrassed about it.' He had seen her tense up when he had started talking and was expecting all types of responses. 'If you want me to go, I will, but you deserve an apology, so at least let me give you that.'

She shuffled back from the edge of dugout and turned to face him.

'So apologise.'

He walked to the side of the dugout and slid down the wall. He took a deep breath and looked at her.

'I don't hate you, Hermione.'

For a second she looked at him and then she turned her head and stared out towards the pitch.

_And that's the problem_.

He smiled. 'I remember the first time I saw you as if it was this morning that we got on the Express. Bushy hair and large front teeth and pristine robes… Merlin you were irritating!'

He thought he saw the corner of her mouth twitch but she suppressed the movement quick enough.

'I remember… _everything_ that we had and that's what makes it _so_ hard. It was hard letting you go, Hermione and it's still _so _hard.'

He took a deep breath and the weight on his chest lightened. Maybe admitting this to her would help in the long run. Or not, he just didn't know anymore.

He was taken off guard by her taking a deep breath and speaking.

'People think the opposite of love is hate, but it's not. If you hate something, it means you still care about whatever the thing or person is doing and it for whatever reason still bothers you but you don't know how to deal with it. Apathy is the opposite of love or hate, where you just don't care about someone and that's my problem. I can't ever stop caring about you, Ron. Even if I wasn't in love with you, I'd be miserable if you were. Were you miserable when I was in Paris.'

Before he could think he found himself nodding.

'I was in love with you and you were nowhere near me, of course I was miserable,' he replied.

Hermione nodded. 'And as much as I was miserable for the same reasons, I was also miserable because I knew you were but I didn't know what to do. I was so insecure and I couldn't look up this particular problem in a book. I was too scared to change anything because I was terrified I'd… _break_ what fragile from of 'us' we had if I did. Turns out I did that well enough anyway.'

She turned her head towards him and he met her eyes. His heart started to race and he wanted to fix her because he knew she was hurting. It had been a long time since he had let himself consider that he was allowed or able to fix Hermione but it wasn't that simple anymore. He had to learn to fix himself before he could fix anyone else.

'Do you blame me for what happened?'

He could see the tears in her eyes. A couple of days ago he would have answered that question in an instant and not cared about the consequences, so he surprised himself when the answer that came to him was not the one he thought.

He shook his head but continued to look into her eyes.

'If you'd have asked me that last night, I would have said yes, because I was angry and drunk and didn't want to take responsibility for my own actions. But now, no, I don't blame you. What did you do, Hermione? You came home. That's all. I'm truly sorry about what I said last night. I could _never_hate you, and honestly… that's the problem.'

He stood and she watched him. He looked at her and she smiled at him. It caught him off guard and it was as if a thought had just come to her.

'When I'm asleep, I dream about being back in that hotel room in Paris and you're knelt in front of me waiting for my answer, and _every single time_ I say yes.'

He took a step towards the door but didn't take his eyes off her.

'It's just a dream though, yeah?'

She sighed and smiled at him.

'It's _my_ dream.'

He took a deep breath and once more felt… lighter. He didn't know why or what it meant but it was… nice.

'Look after yourself, Hermione, promise me that.'

'Only if you promise me the same.'

His bag sat next to him on the bed. He was almost done packing and while he'd been looking for his oldest, most battered trainers – it was hardly wise wearing new, clean shoes when going to a Dragon reserve – he'd found a box of old keepsakes.

He couldn't help but open the box and he had smiled when he did.

Wrapped in a piece of purple velvet was Slytherin's locket, twisted and broken and tarnished and still terrifying even though long dead. There were newspaper cuttings, the very first copy of his book, a rolled up poster advertising his book signing and at the very bottom a stack of photos.

He had found himself looking for one in particular and it had been easily detected. It was the one in the worst condition as it'd had a permanent home in his wallet for years. He stared at it and instead of feeling hurt or disappointment or confusion, he let himself remember how he had felt that day. It was a few weeks after the war and the first day they had just felt… free.

Free from terror, free from mourning for a blissful hour, free from rebuilding, free from worrying about their future, free from tears and guilt. Just… _free_. He remembered how he had never felt anything like it and he couldn't have been happier.

He put the picture back in the box and turned his attention to his bag. His thoughts swung back to a few weeks ago when Lavender had kept him company one evening after he'd had a few too many.

_'I let myself… I let myself wonder one night when I was… when I was still at work… about how it could be with… her. I mean if I… if I said the word then she would be mine, that's pretty much how I see it. 'N don' think me arrogant, Lav, I just… I _know_her and I can tell that's what she wants.'_

_'Is it what you want, Ron?'_

_He ignored her question and after finishing his drink of Firewhisky started talking again._

_'I let myself remember what it was like, how happy it was… how happy I was when we were together… And for a few seconds I got carried away with thinking about her and I wanted to hold her and… kiss her and… and then Mattie sent me an owl telling me to… take care coming home and that she loved me. I've never felt so terrible or angry at myself for even considering being with someone else… and I just pushed everything I felt about Hermione into a box and ignored it.'_

'That must be some hefty box, Ron. And something tells me, putting you and Hermione in a box and throwing away the key isn't enough.'

Lavender Brown was far too wise for anyone's good, he realised that night. But he also realised that she was right. How he had ever thought he could just ignore what him and Hermione had had he didn't know.

But maybe now… 'Maybe now I don't need to.'

He had never voiced this thought before and it was… a relief. He still wasn't convinced that what he was doing was right because to him it just felt wrong. But maybe he should start listening to George and Lavender and everyone else who had told him where his heart truly lay.

He'd considered reading his book from cover to cover just to see if he could see what everyone else had told him they could see, but he didn't because he was determined they were reading too much into it.

That and he was terrified that they might be right.

He put the box back in the cupboard and made sure everything was tidy. He had everything he needed and was just waiting until it was time to go and take his Ministry approved International Portkey. Charlie was expecting him and had told him he could stay at the Reserve for as long as he wanted. He honestly had no idea how long it would take for him to get his head straight.

He knew he was early for the Portkey but he couldn't sit in his room for any longer. He walked through his room and went to make sure the front door was locked. As he pulled his bag higher up on his shoulder green flames burst from the fireplace and a single piece of parchment fell to the floor.

He crossed the room and frowned when he picked up the piece of parchment; he recognised it as the one he had sent Mattie with his dedication. He frowned as he read the words he had written a few hours ago.

_To all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love._

He smiled to himself, but confusion got the better of him and he turned over the parchment and read the words in very familiar handwriting.

_I lied to you. I'm not seeing someone else, I just said that so you would move on with your life, but now I'm wondering whether I made the biggest mistake in letting you go. I am one of those lost souls, Ron and I was just scared by the immensity of what we had._

He took a deep breath and read the words again.

'Well… that makes things… easier.'

He walked into Harry's room and took a piece of parchment from his desk drawer. He ripped it in two and found a quill and some ink. He bent over the desk and on one of the pieces of parchment wrote two words and on the other a plea to meet him at the International Portkey station.

He expected to be terrified or nervous or… something other than calm and, dare he think it? _Happy?_As soon as the word crossed his mind he shook his head, he'd probably jinxed his eternal happiness by thinking that so tried to muster up some confusion or guilt from somewhere.

He rolled up both pieces of parchment and after a minute both pieces had made their separate journeys. That was when the nerves set in and he instantly felt sick. To get a response would be one thing, for her to do as he asked was something entirely different.

He just had to hope that doing what his heart wanted was the right thing to do.

Maybe this would be the first thing in recent years that was both easy _and_ right.

Two fireplaces burst into life and two scrolls of parchment landed silently on the ground. Two people turned and frowned at the disruption and then after putting down books and quills they walked across the room and picked up their scrolls. After reading the words one smiled and one felt tears burn at her eyes. One was happy and one was confused but both of them knew that things were going to be different from now on, they just weren't sure _how_ different.


	15. Resolution

_::falls down:: Dudes, well, it's - to all intents and purposes - finished! WOOT! There may, at some point be some kind of epilogue, and/or scenes that may be classed as 'missing' but this fic has come to a close *sniff* I know I've put you through the ringer with this one, angst wise, but hopefully you'll like me by the end of this chapter._

_If you could let me know what you think, one final time, it would be very much appreciated. It was a risk with using a pre-existing story line that I'd have to force things into being or some characters may seem OOC but that was why I wrote this, to see if I could rise to that challenge, if you could let me know if you think I succeeded, that would be awesome._

_I just want to disclaim that in this chapter (and the previous one - I forgot to write this in the author's note) quite a lot of the original words from te series are used, but I wasn't about to try and do something again when the original was, in my eyes, perfect. Like I've always said, if you recognise it, it's not mine! Many thanks for reading through 100,000 words of uncertainty, I love you for it :) Step x_

**Resolution**

He was exhausted but he was as far from sleep as was possible.

The hard plastic chairs in the waiting area at the International Portkey Station were the most uncomfortable chairs he had ever sat on but he didn't care because they were the last thing on his mind.

Three Portkeys disappeared every seven minutes and tonight there was only one time he had on his mind and that was in fourteen minutes. He was starting to think his plan was about to fail.

The three stations in front of him emitted a blue glow as the inanimate objects within them caused all those touching them to disappear in a whirl of colour.

The cities of Prague, Geneva and Knoxville had a few more occupants as of a second ago.

His attention was brought from the stations by a man with a walking stick shuffling towards the seat. Ron realised he was sat in the end seat nearest the stations and quickly stood to give the seat to the man.

'Would you like this seat?' he asked gesturing behind him.

The elderly man smiled kindly.

'I would, son, but if I sit down I won't get up in time for my portkey. It takes me a good twenty minutes to stand up after sitting and my portkey is in…' he squinted at the clock hanging above the stations, 'seven minutes, so that's no good at all.'

Ron chuckled when the old man grinned. 'Are you sure?'

The man waved in a way that gestured Ron to sit back down. 'I'm sure.'

Ron smiled and took his seat. Even though he knew the time and knew how long until his Portkey left he checked his watch.

'Are you waiting for someone, son?'

Ron nodded. 'Am I that obvious?'

'Well, if I were a betting man I'd say you were waiting for a lovely lady to join you on your journey.'

Ron blinked at the man, momentarily shocked at how accurate the man had been. The man laughed at his expression. Ron cleared his throat and nodded.

'I'm waiting for the woman I love to hopefully take a leap of faith with me, but… like I said, it's a leap of faith and I hope she… loves me enough to see it through.'

He glanced at the enchanted boards situated above the three stations in front of him. He ignored the top row of three names and stared at the second row of places.

_**Bucharest | Paris | New York **_

He sighed. 'I know I've made the right choice, I just hope she wants to take that choice, too.'

'I'll tell you something for free, son and believe me that this is the most important thing there is: love and finding someone to spend the rest of your life with.'

Ron nodded. 'I know that, and.. I _know_I made the right choice.'

For the first time in a long time his heart was at peace.

The man chuckled at him

'That's where love gets you when it makes you think you have a choice. If there's one thing that I've learnt it's that love finds _you_, you don't find love. It's got a bit to do with destiny, what's written in the stars and a lot to do with the fact that most women are a hell of a lot smarter than we are.'

The man took his flat cap off his head and tipped it at Ron which Ron took as a farewell. The man started shuffling towards the stations where a few other people had started forming orderly queues waiting to leave. He turned and looked over his shoulder.

'You're sorry that you never had a chance, really, but if you want to believe you had a choice in the matter, I'd say you made a good one.'

Ron found himself standing, wanting to talk to the old man for longer, but his last statement caught him off guard.

'Why do you say that?'

The man stopped and turned to Ron.

'Because she showed up, and she's a pretty one!'

Ron was too terrified to turn around but was, apparently, more terrified not to. His head whipped around and his eyes frantically searched the crowd that was milling around the waiting area. After what felt like an eternity his eyes saw what he had hoped against everything he had they would see.

She was there, just like he asked her to be. She was standing there looking terrified and nervous and clinging on to the strap of her satchel like her life depended on it. Her hair was trying to escape the ponytail it had obviously been hurriedly tied into and her most comfortable knee high boots, which housed her wand, covered her feet.

And then, she saw him.

His breath hitched in his throat and he took a step forwards, then another, then another and then he found himself jogging towards her and to his delight she started moving towards him, too.

He knew she would want answers, an explanation to why they were both there but he just needed to hold her, touch her and reassure himself that this was real.

He slowed down and waited for her to reach him and as she ran up to him he opened his arms and she stepped into them. Before she could speak he wrapped his arms around her and clung on to her like he hadn't for years.

'You're here! You came!' he managed to whisper into her hair. It tickled his nose but he didn't notice.

He relaxed a tiny bit when her arms tightened around him.

'Of course I came, I-'

He pulled back from her and stared into her brown eyes. In an instant he took in every familiar freckle across her cheeks and before she could say anything else, he kissed her.

Even though he hadn't kissed her in a long time, it was if he had only kissed her this morning, but somehow, it was different.

It was familiar but new, comforting but exciting and for the first time in the longest time, his head agreed with his heart.

He pulled back and managed a smile.

'Ron, what-?'

'I'm sorry, I just needed to make sure it was real that you were here.'

'Nothing would have stopped me coming, surely you knew that?'

He brushed a loose strand of hair off her face.

'I wanted to believe you would come, but I just…'

'You're a mess, you know? You look exhausted, you've got dark circles under your eyes, you're practically skin and bone but… you're _my_mess and I want to be the person who sorts you out and makes you happy. This…' she pulled out the piece of parchment he had sent to her by floo less than an hour ago, 'is what I've always wanted and I'm never making the mistake I made again. I love you, Ron Weasley. No matter what happens, that will never change.'

He had told himself not to cry at any point but he could feel tears burning his eyes.

'I love you, too, Hermione Granger.'

She reached up and kissed him firmly.

'I'm yours forever, Ron. Don't ever forget that.'

He nodded and swallowed hard. 'Do you love me enough to take an international portkey with me?'

Hermione reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.

'Remember when I said to you that if you ever asked me to go anywhere, I'd be there in a second?' Ron smiled and nodded. 'I'll follow you wherever you go.'

'Don't you even want to know where I want us to go?'

She took one of his hands in each of hers. 'Honestly Ron, that's one of many questions I have,' she smiled what he knew to be her nervous smile, 'but I thought that you'd have something worked out for whatever you want this to be, so, I'm just going to shut up and hope I don't wake up from this when I touch that Portkey.'

Ron remembered they were on a timer and checked his watch.

'Well, you're about to find out either way in three minutes… if that's still what you want.'

'Ron, it's definitely what I want.'

He turned and let go of one of her hands. In response she squeezed his other hand tighter.

They walked towards the three stations and Ron glanced at the board above the middle one. He didn't need to, he had been staring at that board for the past half hour, but he wanted to double check that he wasn't going to end up in the Romanian capital. As much as he enjoyed his brother's company, he didn't intend to see him tonight.

Ron took the two tickets out of his inside pocket and handed one to Hermione.

She took it but didn't look at it. Ron couldn't help but grin at Hermione's determination that their destination be a surprise.

'I know all of this is sudden, but-'

'I don't care! And you could argue that – what I hope might happen – has been the longest time in coming.'

Ron smiled and nodded. 'You might have a point.'

The next two minutes was filled with handing over tickets, waiting in line and finally standing in their designated spot around a battered blue boot.

'I know we're not supposed to hold hands when this goes off,' the boot started to glow and she turned to face him, 'but if this is all a dream, I want to remember how this feels.'

He smiled at her words and looked into her eyes and watched as a tear fell.

'Let's give ourselves something to remember then.'

As the bright blue glow intensified he leaned down and kissed her. He felt her squeeze his hand harder and then he felt the familiar pull behind his navel.

They were pulled apart but he kept tight hold of her hand. He got a head rush and stars appeared in front of his eyes. He felt her squeeze on his hand tighter and then his feet landed on solid ground. Before he could think he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

'Trust me?' he whispered into her hair.

'Always,' she replied.

He turned on the spot and apparated them away.

She pulled back from him but he didn't let go of her. He raised his eyes above him and he smiled, thankful that he had appeared exactly where he had planned.

'You know, during the whole time I lived here, I never once did the trip up the Eiffel Tower.'

Ron stared at her in disbelief. 'You've never been up the Eiffel Tower?'

Hermione shook her head. 'Nope, I've looked at it from about half a mile over there,' she tilted her head to the left, 'but I've never been up it. And, dare I ask why we are stood directly underneath it?'

She had a knowing look in her eyes but his original planned suddenly seemed… cheap and rushed and not good enough.

He had seen it clearly in his head, she would arrive at the International Portkey Station, he would apparate them here and, if she agreed, they would elope at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

But now, as he looked at her and as a drunk couple staggered past, the woman wearing a pretend vale, he realised this wasn't what he wanted.

'You know the significance of the top of the Eiffel Tower after all the Muggle tourists have buggered off home, don't you?' She raised her eyebrows and nodded. 'I wanted us to be married because we have wasted enough time not being together and this is the quickest way to get there. But it's not _right_this way.'

She frowned and he panicked that what he had said could be misinterpreted.

'No! Wait, don't think that thing, think the other thing. I love you and I want us to be together, but this isn't good enough for you.'

The drunk couple shouted a mixture of 'I love you's and obscenities and Hermione snorted.

'See?'

She nodded and put her hands on either side of his face.

'For the record, I'll climb up this tower and marry you tonight if that's what you want, but… I have another idea. Do you trust me, Ron Weasley?'

She stood on tip toes and kissed him gently. He looked into her eyes and never wanted to stop staring into them.

'With my life, Hermione Granger.'

She stepped back from him and reached down to take her wand out of her boot.

'Give me one minute. I'll disappear and then I'll take us somewhere.'

Ron's stomach squirmed a little bit. 'You'll come back to me, won't you?'

Her smile faded and she stepped into him once more. 'There is nothing on this earth that could stop me from coming back to you. Never _ever _forget that.' She kissed him once more and smiled at him. 'Back in a minute.'

She turned on the spot and disappeared. His breath hitched but he knew she would be back. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and took a couple of deep breaths. He tilted his head back and slowly spun on the spot. He looked at the geometric patterns above him and tried to think how in one night his life had changed completely. When he had received the brief letter from Mattie he had felt… nothing. By then his decision had been made and it made no difference that an option he never thought he would have had become… an option.

He had been shocked at his… it wasn't apathy because he still did care about Mattie, but it was far from the reaction he would have ever thought he would have had.

He knew he had made the right choice when his heart had begun to race the moment he saw Hermione. In hindsight he realised his heart was already racing but he knew that her being there meant everything was going to be all right.

He heard a pop behind him and turned around.

She was stood grinning at him and straightening her satchel strap after her apparition.

'Hey, Weasley, still trust me?'

He laughed at the look of mischief on her face. 'Hmm, if you weren't looking so smug I would say yes.'

She slowly walked over to him and held out her hand. 'Just as a matter of interest, does me speaking French still do it for you?'

Ron smirked. 'Honestly, I never thought I'd hear you speak French again. Maybe you can find out after you've taken us wherever you're taking us.'

'I'll make a mental note to see what happens when I do. But before we go I want to ask you one thing.'

'Ask me anything.'

'What do you want, Ron? Don't think about what you wrote to me on that piece of parchment; just answer the question with your gut reaction. _What do you want?_

He took a deep breath and took her other hand in his. He smiled as he remembered Lavender talking to him earlier. He couldn't believe it was still that day, so much had happened in less than twenty-four hours. He met her eyes and couldn't help but smile wider.

'I want _you_ and I want _us_. That's what I want. Forever.'

She smiled and grinned. 'Then close your eyes and don't open them until I say, okay?'

He raised an eyebrow. 'Okay. Closing my eyes, now.'

He shut his eyes and he felt her tighten her grip on his hands before he felt the familiar claustrophobic pressure of apparition overtake him.

When they landed he steadied them and he kept his eyes shut. He heard a door click and unlock and then Hermione pulled him forwards.

'Keep your eyes closed.'

'You know, it's a good thing I love you.'

'I hope so, otherwise this is all for nothing.'

He heard the door close behind him and he took a few more steps forward. She stopped directing him and she let go of his hand.

'Okay, you can open your eyes.' He took a deep breath and did as she said. His eyes took a second to adjust to the candlelight and he saw her sitting in a very familiar chair. He looked around even though he didn't need to and took in the hotel room he had hoped all his dreams were going to come true in. He turned back to her and smiled.

'When I'm asleep, I dream about being back in that hotel room in Paris and you're knelt in front of me waiting for my answer, and _every single time_I say yes.'

He crossed the room and stood before her. After a second he knelt on one knee and took her hands in his.

'Hermione-'

'Yes! Always, yes!'

He laughed and kissed her knuckles.

'At least let me ask you properly!'

She nodded and blushed.

'Hermione Granger, will you do me the greatest honour and become my wife?'

She nodded. 'Yes! I will!'

He didn't know why relief was flooding through him, maybe he didn't really believe that this was all real and that he was trapped in a dream.

He leaned forward and kissed her and a rush of emotion flooded through him. His breath caught in his throat and automatically he waited for the depressing weight to fill his chest. But, to his surprise, something else settles there: happiness.

Hermione pulled back and looked at him. 'What? What it is?'

Ron looked at her and could see the fear in her eyes.

'You need to stop thinking that something's going to go wrong or I'm going to change my mind. I'm not going to, and there's nothing wrong. I'm… just adjusting to feeling… happy! It keeps taking me off guard and I keep expecting the weight in my chest I've had to come back.'

She nodded. 'Do you think it will?'

He shook his head. 'Lavender told me earlier that I needed to do what I wanted and that I was free to do that. She said I didn't need to worry about other people or perceptions of what I should do or what I think other people are thinking and after she'd said that and I was just sat on my own writing the dedication for my book and when I thought about you and what we could have I just… felt _right_. I was scared out of my mind that something, anything would stop us getting to where we should be. You know, it's us…'

She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

'Before I ask you what's wrong, can I get off my knee before it gives up on me?'

She smiled, nodded and pulled him to his feet.

He walked to the bed and sat down on the edge, she set down next to him.

'What are you thinking?' he asked her as he put his hand on her knee. She covered his hand with hers and took a deep breath.

'I never apologised for saying no the first time around and breaking your heart. I-… was scared and insecure and there's not a day that's gone by that I didn't regret that decision. I'm sorry, Ron. I'm so sorry.'

Ron nodded. 'Thank you, but… okay, if we weren't here and in the position we are in then I'd probably never admit this, but… proposing wasn't the right thing to do to fix what was going wrong with us. I thought a big grand gesture would push all the small problems away and they wouldn't be there anymore. If we were engaged then everything would be okay. But, even if it had been the right thing to do I shouldn't have just left when you spoke about your concerns. I let my pride get in the way of talking things through with you and for that _I'm _sorry.'

Hermione smirked. 'Ron, you won't ever say anything that will make me think I was justified in saying no to marrying you.'

He smiled. 'But you weren't saying no, you were saying some day in the future.'

'You still remember what I said?'

'I wasn't going to forget that in a hurry. I tried, but I couldn't. I can't ever forget things you say and now I don't ever want to.'

She took a deep breath and smiled. 'I can't promise I won't get scared or have insecurities about, well, everything probably, knowing me, but… I won't let any of that get in the way of… us. I am not making that mistake again!'

'And I will try and not let my pride get in the way of sorting things out should that ever happen.'

She smiled and leant forward to kiss him. When their lips met he smiled.

She pulled back and frowned. 'Is that a smug grin I see, Weasley?'

'On me? Never.'

'Good, because I'd have to tickle into submission and get an apology out of you if it was.'

'Is that a threat or a promise?'

'Is that another smug grin on your face?'

'Absolutely!'

He had forgotten how quick her hands could be, and that she knew exactly where he was particularly ticklish. Before he knew it, he had squealed like a girl and had tried to move away from her.

After a few more squeals he had managed to grab her hands in his and pull her backwards on to the bed. He risked letting go of her hands and found her waist. He manoeuvred her so she was lying on top of him.

She stared down at him and her laughter faded. He had never heard such a beautiful sound as her laughter and he didn't want it to ever stop.

'I can't quite get over the fact that I don't have to miss this anymore. That I don't have to miss _us_anymore. Ginny once…' she smiled as if deciding whether or not to say what she was about to, she took a deep breath and he smiled to encourage her to talk. 'Ginny once asked me if I missed you or what I thought we should have been.'

'What did you say?'

'I said 'both'. I did miss what I thought we would end up being and having and, of course I missed being with you, but what I think hurt the most when we were apart and since I came home, was just being your friend. We were civil and pretended to be friends but it wasn't the same.'

He nodded, he had to agree with her. 'Lavender told me that you had asked her to be you when you couldn't be.'

'I knew she'd push past you being stubborn and she'd tell you what you needed to hear, whatever was best for you… I know from experience that she's good at exactly that.'

'She's brilliant, no two ways about it. Before I sent that parchment to you I sent her a letter saying 'thank you'. I didn't have time to elaborate so she probably has no idea what's going on but I had to thank her, regardless of whether you answered my prayers or not she needed to know how she had set my head straight.'

'Where does she think you are?'

'I told her that I was going to visit Charlie for a while. I've been doing that a lot lately so she wasn't surprised but she told me that I needed to stop running and face up to what was in my head. So I did.'

Hermione brushed his fringe out of his eyes.

'I just need to ask you this one last time and I promise I won't ever ask you again: is this what you want, Ron? Am _I_ who you want?'

Ron looked deep into her eyes and swallowed. 'I wondered whether to tell you this or not, but I want you to trust my decision… Before I sent you that letter Mattie sent me one, saying she regretted _her_decision, and I suppose, I had a choice. But when I read her words that a few weeks ago would have had me relieved I… felt… nothing. Recently I've been dreaming about the ways my life could go and I've seen visions of my life with her and of my life with you and I'd wake up trying to tell myself that what I had told myself I had wanted was equal to what my heart was screaming out for me to take.

'Lavender said I didn't need to do what I thought would be perceived as right, but to do what was right for me. And I did. I asked the woman I love to take a leap of faith with me and she did. That weight in my chest I talked about earlier, it's gone now and even though I keep expecting it to come back at me with full force, it won't because this is everything I want and ever have wanted. I understand you asking, like I said, this is all sudden, but this has never been so right.

'I'll say this so you can store it in that brilliant brain of yours for days when your insecurities creep up on you, I love you, I need you, I want you and I can't wait to live the rest of our lives together.'

He had tried to ignore her eyes filling with tears but when one gave way to gravity he felt his own eyes burn.

'I didn't want to make you cry.'

She smiled and wiped away the rest of her tears. 'Believe me these are happy tears, and for the record, I love you, I want you and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives, and eternity, together.'

He smiled. 'Forever and eternity.'

She kissed him firmly and buried her head into his shoulder. He felt her breath against his ear and he smiled. He wished he could stay there in the hotel room where his dreams, belatedly, came through. He chuckled as her tongue made its way around the edge of his ear and he ran his hand through her hair and pressed her too him even more.

He was where he wanted to be, with the woman he loved. _This_was the way things were supposed to be.

She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear the words he hadn't heard in the longest time.

'Forever and eternity.'

_.fin._


	16. Determination (Missing Moment)

Well hi! I know adding to a story two and a half years after you finish it is a little odd but believe it or not, writing this was always the plan. I always had this chapter/missing moment in my head but the actual getting round to doing it was the difficult bit, but I really enjoyed it. If you've seen the One Tree Hill season this is based on then you'll be familiar with the music of Kate Voegele who plays a singer/songwriter in the series called Mia Catalano. This character's songs are the backdrop to most of the dramatic parts of the show and the song 'One Way or Another' is pretty much what this missing moment portrays. If you search on You Tube for 'Kate Voegele One Way or Another' you should find the song should you wish to listen to it. It gives a pretty clear steer on Mattie's state of mind and is a pretty damn fine song, too. The chapter sits quite near the end of chapter 5 - _Redirection _- and, like I said is a missing moment to fill how we get from Mattie and Ron arguing to Mattie and Ron being engaged.

I wish everyone still coming back to read my stuff a most excellent 2014. I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know what you think.

Step :)

* * *

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!_

She opened the bottom drawer in the chest and pulled out a pair of pyjamas. She marched back to the bed and dumped them in the holdall she had managed to pull down from the top of the wardrobe.

She stopped for a second and closed her eyes and to her dismay a tear snaked its way down her cheek.

_Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying, stop crying._

_'STOP CRYING!'_

The volume at which she had shouted shocked her but she shook her head and carried on pulling things from drawers and the wardrobe. She knew she would forget something she would need but as long as she had the basics it didn't really matter. Although if she only put her pyjama top in the bag then she might get some funny looks. Then again people didn't really expect much from you after breaking up with your boyfriend so maybe it didn't matter.

A sob caught in her throat and she covered her mouth before more overtook her and filled the room with pain. If she held it in she would be able to do what she had to: pack up a few things and leave before Ron realised she was missing from the party. It was cowardly, she knew that but she wasn't the first to prove that not all Gryffindors were courageous. She was still convinced that she should have been sorted into, well, any other house but she supposed she should take heart at the sorting hat's decision.

Her attention snapped back to her job at hand and she scolded herself for losing focus when she was on limited time.

As if the universe wanted to punish her for lack of concentration she heard the familiar sound of Ron's apparition into the living room and panic tore through her. She really had hoped that she would get everything sorted before he came back and had not planned how to deal with him coming home before she left.

'There you-'

She hadn't looked at him but she knew he had spotted the bag. She decided to carry on packing; at the end of the day him coming home early didn't change her decision to leave him.

'Wait. What are you doing?' She didn't answer him, she didn't think she could hold it together if she had to look at him or talk to him. 'Mattie, please don't tell me you're leaving.'

She cleared her throat. 'Okay, I won't tell you that.'

She bent down and collected her most battered and comfy trainers off the floor and carried them to the bag. She picked up a carrier bag and stuffed the shoes in them before lying them on top of her clothes in the holdall. Part of her brain was telling her she should rearrange the contents so the shoes were on the bottom but that would take time and she wanted to leave as soon as possible.

'But why?' Ron asked moving towards her. Still she didn't look at him or properly acknowledge him.

'Because I'm sick and tired of having to fight a constant battle, Ron! I should be enjoying my life at the minute. I have the job I've been dreaming about since I was at school, I have friends who never fail to make me laugh and I was in a relationship that had me truly happy until the love of your life turned up and stuck herself right in the middle of my perfect picture. '

Ron went to argue but she held up her hand and cut him off.

'Every morning I wake up and have to mentally prepare myself to win you back from her. Every time you see her you're helping her, or she's doing something that you want to get involved in and I have to fight her pull on you every single day and remind you that you love me and that I will do anything for you. I'm exhausted, Ron and I'm tired of fighting in a war that I will never win. How can I win? She's Hermione Granger and I'm not. I will never live up to the standard she set for you all those years ago.'

She could feel the tears burning her eyes so turned to the chest of drawers in the corner of the room. She could easily busy herself with finding clothes and avoid looking at him.

'You don't… I don't ever want you to try and be her because I love you for _you_!'

She heard the bed creak as he sat down on it. She rummaged through the top drawer, looking for clean underwear and then realised this wasn't her underwear drawer. She was about to close it when her hand closed around something hard and square. Before looking at it properly she had an idea of what it was.

'I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I wasn't happy when my friend came home, but she is in no way a threat to you, how can you not see that? I love you and you alone, Mattie. Nothing and no one can ever change that.'

She didn't answer his words but pulled the box out from the pile of underwear and held it in her hands. She pulled open the box and caught sight of a ring with stones set on the top. She refused to look at it properly; she didn't want to see what she could have had.

'Then why didn't you give me this?'

She turned to look at him, ring box in hand and watched as panic and then disappointment spread across his face.

'You say you love me, you have a ring but you haven't asked me to marry you. Granted I know these things take some planning but still, what am I supposed to think?'

He was lost for words and that in itself spoke volumes. She smirked and shook her head before throwing the box back in the drawer and pulling open the second drawer. She grabbed some knickers and socks and slammed the drawer shut.

She walked around Ron and decided she had everything she would need for a few days away before she could collect her things properly. For her sanity she had to leave right now.

She zipped up the bag with as much venom as she could and hoisted it up onto her shoulder.

'Goodbye Ron.'

'I didn't propose because I didn't think I had another book in me.'

She was determined that none of his words would change her mind, but she found herself pausing with her hand on the door handle. She frowned; his statement had not made sense. Luckily she didn't need to say anything to prompt Ron to carry on talking.

'I didn't think I deserved to propose to you and have you agree to marry me without at least proving to you I could make good on my promises. I couldn't propose to you until I'd finished the book. Without that I'm not good enough. And what sort of precedent would I be setting if I couldn't do the one thing I've promised you? How could you ever trust anything I ever said or promised you again?'

She couldn't help but turn to look at him. He sounded broken and all she ever wanted to do was to try and fix him and make him happy.

He raised his head and she looked at him. The holdall slipped off her shoulder and she made no attempt to catch it.

'When…' she started, trying to figure out the answer to her question before she had even asked it. 'When have I ever said… or given you the impression that your second book is the reason I'm with you? If you turned to me and told me that you couldn't ever see yourself writing again, do you honestly believe that I would end the relationship?'

Ron looked at her and shrugged. 'I wouldn't have blamed you.'

'No, Ron, that wasn't the question.'

Every thought she'd had before he had returned disappeared from her mind, she only had one thought filling every cell of her body and that was to make sure that Ron knew his second book had nothing to do with the love she had for him. She knelt down in front of him and waited until he made eye contact.

'I asked you if I've ever made you believe that I was only with you because I was waiting for you to write and finish your second book.'

She watched as Ron swallowed. After what seemed like hours he shook his head.

'No, you never made me feel that way, but I still feel that I owe you that before I ask you to commit to a life with me.' She shook her head. 'I know you'll think it's ridiculous-'

'That's because it is!'

'But it's how I feel and I've tried to not think that way but it's always there in the back of my mind that I need to prove myself to you. Me not proposing has nothing to do with you, and what you said earlier is complete rubbish. I don't know how many times I have to say it but Hermione is not a threat to you or to us. I will do anything you want to prove that to you.'

Mattie sat down on the floor and sighed heavily, the alcohol she had drunk earlier seemed to hit her at once and all she wanted to do was curl up on the floor and go to sleep but she knew avoiding this… whatever this had become was not a good idea.'

She shut her eyes and her head made a thud as it hit the wall behind her.

'Are you… are you still going to leave?'

She shrugged, she really didn't know anymore.

'I'm just so tired of competing with her. Like I said, I feel like every day I have to win a prize that I've already won.' She shook her head. 'Not that you're a prize to be won… that came out wrong. I just… I did the hard work, we both did! We were both in a strange place when we met and we worked hard to get to where we are now and all I can see is her and remember all the words you used to describe her and your relationship in that book and I can't see past any of it. I could forget it when she was away in France with no mention of ever visiting or coming home but when I'm faced with it every day it's just… I can't do it anymore.'

Ron slumped off the bed and crossed his legs to face her. 'I'm not going to sit here and say that I didn't mean every word I wrote about her and us, because I did mean it, but… how can you think she's a threat after everything I've said about what happened between us?'

'Because you didn't break up with her because you stopped loving her, you broke up because she broke your heart.'

'Yeah, but, someone breaking your heart goes quite a long way to helping you fall out of love with them.' He smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back. 'I promise you, I don't love her, I love you and I hope that the day that I ask you to marry me, you'll say yes.'

As she looked at him it all seemed to make sense and fall into place. It was only when she felt her most insecure that thoughts of Hermione crept into her mind and she knew that Ron's insecurities were plaguing him and she wanted to stick around to help him battle them and see him soar like she knew he could.

'Why don't you make that day today?'

He took a sharp breath and she could tell he was trying to work out if she was joking or not. He seemed to work out that she wasn't and grinned before standing and moving to the drawer. He took the box out the drawer and she stood up, excitement flooding through her. She watched as he moved towards her but he paused as his gaze landed on her holdall still by the door.

'Wait, Mattie, are you sure this is what you want, I mean…' he waved his hand towards the bag and she stepped towards him and took his free hand in hers.

'I've let my insecurities get the better of me and become all I could think about, and you've done the same, but I love you, that's all that matters.'

'Well then, I suppose I best do this properly.'

She watched as he went down on one knee and even though she knew exactly what would happen her breath caught in her throat and she tingled all over.

'Matilda, I love you with all my heart. You are my life and you are the best thing for me and my soul. Would you do me the greatest honour and become my wife?'

He opened the ring box and she instantly fell in love with the ring inside. Tears burned her eyes and she grinned at him. He matched her smile and she nodded.

'Yes, of course I will.'

He pulled the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger. It fitted her perfectly and she couldn't help but stare at it. Ron stood up and she jumped into his arms. He laughed and spun them around and she squealed and laughed into his shoulder. She landed with a less than graceful stumble but Ron steadied them both and she kissed him hard.

'I love you' she whispered.

'I love you more,' he replied.

Tears fell from her eyes and she grinned as she stared at her fiancé and tried to remember every second of the night Ron proposed to her.

'We have champagne I think!' Ron said before kissing her. 'We always said we were saving it for a special occasion.'

'Excellent idea!' Mattie replied.

She grabbed a tissue out of the box on the bedside table and wiped her nose before a knock at the door made her pause.

'I'll get it,' she called through to Ron, not entirely sure he had heard it. When she first saw Ron's flat it bothered her that the bedroom door was merely inches away from the front door but she had got used to it over time.

She kicked her holdall back into the room towards the bed and opened the front door.

To Hermione Granger.

She stared at the woman in front of her and the jealousy that had torn her apart for the past few weeks evaporated, because all that mattered was that Ron loved _her_ and had asked _her_ to marry him.

'Oh, Mattie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-'

'Ron proposed to me.' She said as she smiled. She thought she heard Ron behind her but kept looking at Hermione. Hermione seemed to be searching for proof of what Mattie had just said so Mattie lifted her left hand. She watched as Hermione took in the sight and then looked past her, she presumed at Ron, and then watched as Hermione came back to herself and the realisation that she should probably say something.

'Congratulations. Both of you. Really. I'll… leave you alone.'

And she turned and hurried down the stairs.

Mattie couldn't find it in herself to feel anything for Hermione, she was too full of elation to care about anyone but her and Ron. She shut the door and turned to Ron who had a bottle of expensive looking champagne and two wine glasses in his hand.

'Have you chilled it?' she asked, ignoring the look of concern on Ron's face. It soon disappeared as he nodded and he smiled widely.

'Not yet, if I'm honest champagne bottles scare me so I thought I'd do it once it's poured.'

'Champagne bottles scare you?' she said with a laugh.

'Um, no not at all!' he said as he pointed the bottle away from them and anything breakable before tapping the cork with his wand. Nothing happened so he tapped it a bit harder and closed his eyes tightly in anticipation of a loud noise.

Mattie laughed out loud. The cork left the bottle with a bang and Ron jumped before catching the overflowing champagne in one of the wine glasses without spilling a drop.

'Ever the keeper,' Mattie said while taking the glass off Ron. He poured his own as she chilled hers with her wand and then did the same to Ron's glass. She raised her glass and he clinked hers with his.

'To us,' she said as she stepped into him and put her arm around his waist. 'To you and to me and to our future together.'

Ron smiled and clinked their glasses once more.

'To us and our future, together, whatever it may bring.'


	17. Realisation (Missing Moment)

So this happened. This one was never quite intended but I still enjoyed writing it.

I'm thinking about a possible sequel to this but I'm not wholly convinced I should for various reasons, so there will be more thought needed before I make a decision.

As always, if you could let me know what you think it would be much appreciated. Yes the last line is a mirror of a previous chapter, no I honestly didn't think people would remember/realise. :P

Ta muchly, Step :)

* * *

She was ready.

In reality she had been ready for about twenty minutes but Molly, Fleur and Ginny had been fussing over her and her dress and her shoes and her tiara and other things that she was sure didn't need fussing over.

But in a way she had expected it, she was the bride after all.

They had all left her alone to go and take their places and at her request, just so she could gather her thoughts before she took her place in her wedding. A wedding that only a few short weeks ago she didn't think she would ever be a part of.

She took a deep breath in and smiled, those days were behind her now and she had her whole future with Ron to look forward to. She took one last check in the mirror at her make up and with a satisfied nod at herself she left the bedroom and, very carefully, made her way down the stairs of the Burrow.

The wisdom in her getting changed into her wedding dress three floors up was suddenly thrown into doubt, but she had practiced walking in her wedding shoes so she managed fine and didn't lose any dignity or break anything as she made her way downstairs.

As she rounded the corner on the second floor landing she stopped as voices drifted in on the breeze through the open window.

'Just avoiding the crowds, really. I only just avoided getting crushed in a stampede!'

She managed a small smile at Hermione's comment, she had taken a quick look out of the bedroom window earlier and had seen people running – and that was no exaggeration – back and forth between the house and the marquee and what had to be a magically enhanced van for the amount of stuff that was coming out of it.

Recently she had lost the instant and automatic pang of jealousy in her stomach when ever she thought about Hermione, or Ron talking to Hermione, or if ever Ron mentioned her name, and for a second she waited for it to return, but it didn't and again she smiled. She had no reason to be jealous; today was, after all, _her_ wedding day.

'What?'

She could tell from Ron's tone that he was being scrutinised. His _what_ was both a question and a plea.

'Nothing. I was just thinking how handsome you looked.'

Instantly she ached to see him all dressed up in his dress robes. She had insisted he decide what he and Harry wore as she wanted him to be as comfortable as possible throughout the day, but she had a feeling he had still gone for a formal look.

'I look like a penguin!'

As much as she knew he was exaggerating she sighed, she hated when Ron put himself down, but knew that it happened most when he was the centre of attention.

'No you don't, you look great.'

She recognised Hermione's need to talk him up because she did exactly the same thing.

She shook her head and realised she really should be making her way down the rest of the stairs but a giggle from Hermione had her staying where she was.

'What?' Ron asked and she found herself glad he had asked the question.

She heard rustling and then Hermione spoke.

'You've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?'

She took in a sharp breath and goose bumps covered her skin even though she wasn't at all cold.

She tuned out the rest of the conversation and tried to make sense of her body's strange reaction to those words.

They rang a bell in her mind but she didn't know where she had heard or knew them from. She closed her eyes and frowned as she tried to think and find connections to getting her answer. But after a couple of minutes and after realising she could no longer hear voices from below the window she shook her head, decided if she couldn't remember instantly why the words would have an effect on her then they couldn't be that important and started - finally - to make her way down the rest of the stairs.

Ginny met her at the bottom with a grin on her face and Mattie's flowers in her hands. After Mattie had made sure that her dress was how it should be she took the flowers off Ginny and waited for Ginny to make sure that everyone was in the marquee and waiting for her arrival.

After a smile and a nod from Ginny she started walking towards the elaborately decorated ceremony venue and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach as she walked.

'You okay?' Ginny asked as they neared the entrance to the marquee.

She nodded and smiled.

'Nervous?'

'A little,' she replied with a nod and an apologetic smile.

'You are allowed to be, you know!' Ginny said with a laugh. 'Just take a few deep breaths and remember that you're about to marry the love of your life.'

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She swallowed down her nerves and nodded.

'Okay, I'm ready to get married.'

Ginny grinned again and Mattie saw the entrance to the marquee being pulled back. She thought it had been magic until she stepped forward and saw two of the many people she had seen running around earlier in the day holding the material back. For a second she was mildly disappointed but the site made her smile and relax a little bit more.

She looked up and saw Ginny walking slowly in front of her and she waited until she was half way down the aisle before setting off.

_Not too fast,_ she said to herself as she started walking. She smiled at the beaming faces which took in every detail of her appearance and finally, after making herself wait for as long as she could to look at Ron, her eyes met his.

She wasn't sure as she was still a bit too far away from him to be certain, but she thought she saw tears in his eyes. She had secretly hoped he might shed a tear and she gave him a smile as she walked up to him.

She smiled at the officiate and then turned to hand her flowers to Ginny.

Ron bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She rolled her eyes at him, the last time they had spoken she had said kissing her on her arrival was cheating and that he should wait until they were husband and wife before doing so.

She tried to listen to what the officiate was saying, determined to remember as much of her wedding as possible - she had been told it would fly by and she wouldn't remember parts of it, and she was starting to see what those people meant. After what seemed like far too long, the words the officiate was saying filtered through to her.

'If anyone here does know of any reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony, please speak now.'

She didn't realise she was holding her breath until her natural instincts took over and forced her to. For a split second she imagined Hermione Granger standing up and declaring her love for Ron in front of everyone and making at scene at her wedding, but no one said a word, no one made a noise and after what had to be the longest five seconds in her life, the officiate started talking.

_Hermione._

Something was stirring in her memory and that tight feeling in her stomach returned.

If she was being truthful with herself she had been thinking about Hermione more than she had thought normal since she had awoken that morning, so why was this time ringing alarm bells?

She looked at Ron and smiled trying to ignore the feeling in her stomach.

'Do you, Ronald Bilius Weasley take Matilda Lauren Fergusson to be your wife?'

Ron smiled at her and said firmly, 'I do.'

She smiled and he grinned at her. It was then she saw that the side of his nose had the faintest trace of a smudge on it and suddenly it all came flooding back to her.

_You've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?_

When she had read Ron's book she had been taken aback by the abruptness of the character that leaves such an impression on the hero of the story that he vows to take the same train every day for just the chance of seeing her again. She had burst into the carriage, nose buried in a book and only spoke to him to tell him...

_You've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?_

His hero's faith in life and love and _everything_ had been returned because of that woman.

A woman who was, apparently, Hermione Granger.

'Do you Matilda Lauren Fergusson take Ronald Bilius Weasley to be your husband.'

And the words were falling out of her mouth before she could do anything to stop it.

'You've got... dirt... on your nose...'

And in that instant she knew that was it. There were no words that Ron could say that would make her believe that he still didn't love Hermione.

It wasn't that she disbelieved his love for her, it was the fact that she would never be the same to him, would always be his second best and that was something she refused to be. No one deserved that.

For a second she contemplated marrying him anyway because he believed he loved her like he had loved Hermione, but she knew that eventually, some day, some how, he would realise that, too. She wasn't about to set herself up for that particular fall.

Ron, and probably everyone else in the room, was waiting for her to explain her words. She obliged.

'The first words she said to him, '_You've got dirt on your nose, did you know?''_

Ron frowned and she saw concern flow over his face.

'Er, Mattie, I know you love my book, but this isn't really the time to discuss it.'

She shook her head and tears filled her eyes.

'Are you okay?' He asked, panic starting to creep into his voice.

'_How_ could I have forgotten?' she said to herself more than Ron.

Maybe she hadn't forgotten, maybe her brain had just refused to let her see the truth.

For some reason tears didn't fall from her eyes but they should have done. Because not only was her heart slowly breaking as her realisation sank in, but she realised she would have to do the same to Ron. For the second time in his life he was about to have his heart broken and she was going to be the one to follow in Hermione Grangers footsteps.

Again.

Some part of her was used to it by now.

He tried to get her to explain what was wrong so he could fix it and she tried to explain it to him, to explain why she couldn't marry him but still he refused to let go. She could hear the buzz of the people to her right and she knew, for her sanity, that she had to leave as soon as possible, that she had to close this chapter of her book quickly and concisely.

_'It's fiction!'_ He all be shouted at her and she could see that he knew he was losing the battle.

She took a deep but shaky breath and looked him in the eye.

'Except that it's not, I'm sorry, Ron, I can't marry you. I'm so sorry.'

She turned and ran through the marquee and didn't stop until she reached the apparition boundary at The Burrow. She heard shouts behind her, she thought one of the voices was Ginny's but she didn't listen or stop to explain, she just turned on the spot and with a strangled sob apparated away.

Away from Ron Weasley and to a new life she didn't as yet know.


End file.
